Chapter Text
Kihyun leans out of the passengers side of the small truck. He is bored sitting around while Shownu and Jooheon load up on supplies. He wants to help, but knows he can’t. His paralyzed leg makes him a constant burden on his friend and on his boyfriend. He greatly mislikes this and mostly stays home. But Shownu managed to convince him today. And he is regretting it now. Shownu and Jooheon are busy and spare him not the least speck of attention. Kihyun sighs and plays with the grip of his crutch.
Shownu leans against the door of the passengers side and blows into Kihyun’s dark brown hair. Kihyun looks up at him and smiles. A smile that does not reach his eyes. “Are you unhappy?” Shownu asks softly, stroking his knuckles over Kihyun’s beautiful cheekbone. Kihyun presses his lips together. He doesn’t want to lie to Shownu, but he also doesn’t want to hurt his feelings. “I just feel so useless sitting around in the truck while you and Jooheonie work.” Kihyun huffs. “Please don’t feel that way. I am wanted you to get out of the house a bit. I hate to see you shrink away behind your mother’s flowers. I thought you’d be happier outside.” Shownu replies.
Kihyun sits in the bed of the truck, watching as Shownu and Jooheon help Shownu’s grandfather in the garden. He is shielded from the burning sun, whereas Shownu and Jooheon are working in the full sun. Their skin is tan and thy are glistening with sweat. As comfortable as he is, with his pillow and lemonade, Kihyun wishes he could help them. He wishes he could hurry to Shownu’s grandfather to aid the man’s slow progress on the field. But instead he can only watch on.
Just like he can only watch on when Shownu rushes to his grandfather’s side. The man is coughing loudly into a napkin. The cloth comes away spotted with blood and Shownu can barely catch the man when he loses consciousness. Kihyun wrestles himself upright and makes room on the pillows. Shownu lifted his grandfather into the bed of the truck and gently laid him down. Jooheon in the meanwhile helped Kihyun out. Kihyun didn’t allow himself to dislike the help. This was not about him.
Shownu pulls over in front of his house. The house he’s always lives in. With only his grandfather as his guardian. He rushes to lift his grandfather out of the truck into the house. Kihyun clumsily hops out of the truck and unlocks the door. Shownu hurries into the living to lay his grandfather down on the hospital bed. Jooheon comes running in with an oxygen tank and Shownu is quick to apply it to his grandfather’s nose.
The man does not wake, but seems to be in a remotely stable condition. It is all Shownu can do for him. His grandfather is poor and unable to work for money. Shownu does work, in a factory, but pays little and not near enough to be able to afford a cure for his grandfather’s sickness. Kihyun knows that Shownu’s heart hurts for the man that raised him.
Hyungwon wraps a bandage around Shownu’s knuckles. “Getting angry doesn’t solve anything.” He says. Shownu’s brow furrows, causing him to squint even more than he already does. “Nothing ever solves anything. Not where I am from. Problems stay.” He gets up and peers out of the window. Hyungwon wants to get up as well, but Minhyuk gestures him to stay. “How is your grandfather doing?” He asks, tactless and unthinking. “He is comatose. I can barely afford the drips to keep him alive… It is all getting out of hand. And that while it can be easily cured.” Shownu rubs his injured knuckles. He had previously smashed his fingers against the wall in anger and all the emotions well up again.
Kihyun gets up and hobbles over. He places a hand on Shownu’s wide shoulder. Shownu turns to him and seems to calm down at least a little bit. “Please Hyung, don’t get all fired up, that doesn’t help any of us in the least.” He says softly. Shownu sighs, trying to release the tension in his muscles. Kihyun approaches Shownu as close as he can. He tosses one of his crutches to the sides and leans against Shownu’s broad chest. Shownu wraps one arm around Kihyun’s skinny shoulder and presses a kiss to the younger man’s temple. Kihyun sighs in relief. Shownu won’t act up when he is holding him. He is sure of that. “We’re here for you.” Kihyun mutters. “Doesn’t help my grandfather any, jagi.” Shownu mumbles softly. There is no true blame in his voice, so Kihyun doesn’t argue.
“I’ll see what I can do for you Shownu, but I can’t promise you anything. You know how my father is.” Hyungwon says. Shownu nods. He moves his hand from Kihyun’s shoulder to his hip. The younger man leans into him heavily. His legs beginning to tremble. “I appreciate your effort Hyungwon-ah.” Shownu lifts Kihyun up and gently sets him on the couch, before sitting down beside him. Kihyun sighs and leans into him. Shownu sighs too and wraps an arm around Kihyun’s waist.The kiss he presses to Kihyun’s temple makes the younger boy feel even more helpless.
Before he knows it, he is weeping. He notices it by the salt droplets falling on his ripped jeans. With a whine he leans against Shownu’s broad shoulder. Shownu attempts to comfort him is feeble, as usual, but it is fine. Kihyun knows Shownu has his own worries. So he undergoes Shownu’s awkward pats and tells himself in silence that he should man up. He should not be crying. He surely is not the only one whose life sucks bloody balls right now.
“You should go home, to your grandfather, Shownu.” Says Wonho. Shownu nods slowly, his chin rubbing Kihyun’s forehead with each nod. “I know, but I dread it as well. He is on his before last drip and all I can do is watch him waste away. It hurts me so, but I can’t change it.” Kihyun feels Shownu’s words like tense rumbling in the man’s chest. He also feels one single, hot tear drop in his hair. He presses a kiss into the cloth of Shownu’s tank top. A very old top. Shownu doesn’t even bother buying laundry detergent, all his money goes to the care of his grandfather. It makes him smell of worry and grief and sweat. It makes Kihyun’s gag reflex act up.
Shownu gets up, helping Kihyun to his feet as well. Changkyun hands Kihyun his crutches. Kihyun accepts them, albeit begrudgingly. It is as if the younger hands him his helplessness. And Kihyun knows he can’t be the helpless one right now. His friends need him more than he should need them. “Let’s not keep you here any longer.” Hyungwon opens the door and guides Shownu and Kihyun to the rusty old pick up. Shownu holds the passenger's door and waits till Kihyun managed to climb into his seat by himself. Kihyun pulls the door shut and waits until Shownu crawls behind the wheel. “We’re bringing Jooheon home first.” Shownu says. Kihyun nods calmly. “That is fine.” He replies.
Shownu pulls over in front of Kihyun’s house. “Our ways part here, jagi. Let me get your crutches.” He says. KIhyun makes no attempt to argue or reply. He only stares blankly out of the window. He sighs and opens his door. Shownu jumps out of the truck and walks around it. He lifts Kihyun from his seat like he weighs nothing and for a split second it is all Kihyun wants. Then Shownu puts him down and gives him his crutches. Kihyun hobbles to the front door and fishes his key from his pocket. “Aren’t I getting a kiss?” He calls out to Shownu. Shownu’s whole face becomes squinty when he smiles and Kihyun remembers why he fell in love with him. “Of course.” Shownu comes over and presses a kiss to Kihyun’s forehead. Then two, one for each, on his cheeks. Lastly he kisses Kihyun;s eyelids shut. He always does this, which gives Kihyun comfort. Then at last Kihyun feels Shownu’s lips upon his own. He grips his crutches tightly and he happily kisses back.
“Come inside with me, so I can wash your clothes, so you can shower, please.” Kihyun whispers. His lips are a breath's distance away from Shownu’s and he can smell the man’s desire above the foul scent of his grief. He has to try and reel him in, it is now or never. “I can’t Kihyunnie, I have to go home. My grandfather.” Shownu whispers. “Will sleep for two more hours, trust me. You should take care of yourself too, my love.” KIhyun cooes. Shownu sighs, but Kihyun can see his muscles untense. “Fine...” Shownu mumbles. “Good.” Kihyun unlocks the door and hobbles into the hallway. ”Ma, I brought Shownu!” Kihyun shouts. There is no reply. “We have the place to ourselves, let’s get you cleaned up.” He says.
Shownu follows Kihyun to his bedroom, which is on the ground floor.Kihyun can’t climb stairs, which he loathes. Kihyun tosses his crotches to the side and sits down on his bed. “Give me your clothes, I’ll put them in the laundry.” He extends his hand expectantly. Shownu takes off his wifebeat and hands it to Kihyun. The younger male is awestruck by his boyfriends amazing physique. It is a thing Kihyun will never cease to feel. That jolt in his pulse when Shownu bares the goods. To Kihyun they look better than sin itself.
“Come to me.” Kihyun whispers huskily. His thirst has awoken and there is no one to interrupt them. Shownu steps closer. Kihyun extends his hands and draws down Shownu’s pants. He palms the warm bulge in Shownu’s boxers and feel pleased when Shownu moans. “It has been too long, my love.” Kihyun whispers. “I don’t want to see our relationship waste away because we are too focussed on our own misery. Please find solace in my body, like I do in yours.” He lays down and beckons Shownu to come to him. The older man chucks his socks and pants to the side and climbs onto the bed as well. “I love you.” Kihyun whispers, opening his legs for Shownu. He sighs softly when Shownu nests himself between his thighs. “I love you too.” Shownu says in a hushed tone. Slow and tender he kisses the younger male. Kihyun places a hand in the small of Shownu’s back and shovels the other in his short, bristly dark hair.
The kiss lasts, Shownu’s tongue explores the wet warmth of Kihyun’s mouth and Kihyun moans wantonly. Shownu grinds his pelvis down against Kihyun’s. The cloth of Kihyun’s cargo pants cafts his skin, breaking the spell of the spell of their perfect kiss. He peels himself away from his boyfriend and unbuckles the boys belt. With a firm yank he pulls down Kihyun’s trousers. Kihyun pulls his t-shirt over his head. “Better?” He asks. “Much better.” Shownu whispers. He marvels at Kihyun’s pale skin and slender form. “You are so beautiful, to me.” He sings, traveling his fingers over Kihyun’s lithe waterdancer body. Kihyun bites his lip, he has learned to accept how enamoured Shownu is with his body.
He moans as Shownu nips the lobe of his ear. “I actually don’t have time for this.” Shownu murmurs. “You have to make it quick then, my love.” Kihyun mutters feebly. “But I don’t want to hurt you.” Shownu replies. “I can handle it Hyunwoo.” Kihyun’s urge speaks in the use of Shownu’s born name. “It has been so long. I need your body against mine. Please make love to me like you did in the spring of our love.” He whispers huskily. Shownu flusters darkly. “Don’t … don’t say it like that. Our love is not yet in it’s autum.” He nips at Kihyun’s neck, causing the other to moan rather wantonly. Shownu feels his cock grow. “If this is the summer of our love, it is a bleak one, jagi.” Kihyun hooks his fingers into the rim of Shownu’s boxers, drawing them down. Shownu’s cock springs free with the noisy slap of flesh on flesh. “You are hard already, good.” Kihyun takes Shownu’s cock in his hand, jerking gently. Shownu groans a little, far too quiet for Kihyun’s taste. He pumps his hand faster, relishing in Shownu’s deep throaty moans.
Their naked bodies are pressed tightly together. Shownu’s skin is hot against Kihyun’s own, causing the younger to flush with a healthy pink glow. “You are the love of my life.” Shownu whispers against the nape of Kihyun’s neck. Spooned up against the tall man’s body, caught in his broad arms, Kihyun is wont to believe whatever he says. Not that Shownu could possibly lie to Kihyun. He has no time for lies, Kihyun knows. Kihyun presses his ass backwards and Shownu bucks his pelvis in return. Kihyun can feel Shownu’s cock slip through the crack of his ass. He moans lustily, anticipating what is to come. It is not like this is the first time he beds down with his boyfriend. And Shownu always lives up to-, and mostly exceeds Kihyun’s expectations.
Shownu’s fingers travel to Kihyun’s chest and up his throat. He’s done playing. It is high time to get down and dirty. “Suck.” Shownu rasps, his fingers curve over Kihyun’s bottomlip. Kihyun opens his mouth, allowing Shownu’s fingers to invade. He sucks eagerly, almost as if he is felating Shownu’s cock instead of just his fingers. Shownu groans, pulling out his fingers when they are slick enough. Kihyun knows exactly where those fingers will be going and he throbs in anticipation.
He cries out when Shownu slowly brings his first finger inside. “Relax, you are too tense. I can feel you clamping down.” Shownu whispers sweetly. Kihyun does his best to will the tention out of his muscles, but it won’t really work. Shownu tsks and nudges his finger against the soft knob of Kihyun’s prostate. Kihyun moans loudly and his muscles lose a little of their tension. “See you can do it.” Shownu whispers hotly. He sucks a hickey on the pale skin of Kihyun’s neck.
With the second finger, Kihyun is less tense. His body is a bit less high strung with anticipation. He’s been left wanting for too long already. In the care of his grandfather, Shownu’s neglected Kihyun more than a bit. But it is nothing he can old against the older man, Kihyun thinks to himself, while Shownu is slowly fingering him open. Slowly he loses his tension and slowly he starts to moan louder for Shownu.
“Fuck Hyunwoo, I want you so bad.” Kihyun cries out. Shownu slowly pulls his fingers out of Kihyun’s hole. Kihyun whines at the loss of contact. Shownu reaches to the nightstand for a condom. He is swift to apply it. Kihyun spreads his legs open wider. “Take me.” He breathes huskily. Shownu lines himself up with Kihyun’s eager hole, slowly pushing himself in.
Kihyun watching the water turn grey as Shownu washes himself. “How long has it been since you showered last?” Kihyun asks, worridly. “Only five days.” Shownu replies. Kihyun gazes at the laundry machine to avoid looking at Shownu. “Don’t neglect yourself.” He mumbles. “You know why I do this.” Shownu says. His voice is sharp and Kihyun can hear his pain, anger and despair. He sighs and chews on his bottom lip.
Shownu dries himself with a towel while Kihyun puts his clothes in the dryer. He then leans his head against Shownu’s broad back, letting the silence last. It is an uncomfortable silence, as if they have just been fighting. Kihyun feels tears prick behind his eyes. He tells himself to be a man, to not cry. But it is to no avail. The tears break through and trail down his face. Shownu embraces him and Kihyun wants to turn away from him. But he doesn’t. Instead he leans into Shownu’s still damph arms and lets all his frustration leak out with his tears.
He watches as the rickity old truck out of the street. He’s worried beyond what words can express.