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He had promised to take me to the moon. My moon, Earth's moon, not whatever moon that orbits whichever planet we were both now stuck hostage on.
I had asked for him to do a scan to make sure we were in the right place and of course Mr. "I don't need to do a scan, I know exactly where we are and I'm a good driver so stop asking that every time", insisted it wasn't necessary. I shouldn't have to bring up his one year late delivery of Rose to her mother to add insult to injury over the fact that we both knew he was, in fact, a horrible driver. Still, he got us some orange space suits to cover my very nice clothes and his leather jacket. Why are they orange? I don't want to know and I didn't ask. We stepped outside once dressed, and it looked very much like the moon and I'm not one to wipe that stupid, smug grin off his face.
At least not right away. I waited a few minutes to see if he would notice we couldn't see the Earth anywhere. He had done a few small jumps, grabbing my hand and prompting me to join in. We had a good quick laugh before I nudged him to look around.
I didn't even get one good quip in before the thundering sound of heavy footsteps charging in our direction, interrupted our little moment. It hadn't even been five minutes here before we had two giant creatures built from what appeared to be lava rock and some sort of metal shrapnel pointing even bigger guns at us, who led us to our now separate jail type cells for "tresspassing". We each had our own damp and dimly lit rocky cavern cell to ourselves. The only way we could see each other was a face sized hole on the wall separating us.
"You know, if I had a nickel-"
"Don't you start," he warned. He was beeping his sonic away at the walls around us, it surprisingly hadn't been taken from him. I was sat on the floor picking at the pebbles and aiming for the humor of it all with one of the many quotes stored up in my brain.
"If I had a nickel for every time we got captured for trespassing, I'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot. But it's weird that it happened twice." I finished the quote, humming to myself with a small smile. I hear the Doctor huff in his cell.
"Y/N, that's not helpeful," he remarked, but couldn't hide the hint of amusement in his tone.
I roll my eyes. "Oh, my bad. Did you want me to start digging with my nails on wall A or wall B?" He ignores me. "Or, maybe if Rose were here, she and I could dig together but instead of digging into the wall, we'd be digging into your piss poor driving skills."
"Oi! I'll have you know I am a wonderful driver and pilot. The Tardis just..." he trails off and I laugh loudly.
"Sure, blame the third current woman in your life for your misfortune. Typical," I mock tease. I hear his sonic stop making noise and see him come up to press his face in the hole, brow scrunched up.
"What makes you think the Tardis is a woman?" He asks, puzzled.
Before I could remark on men and their cars or ships, the door to my cell opens up with a shrill creak and I scramble up. I quickly shoot the Doctor a "What the fuck do I do," and then look back toward the rock creature entering my cell. They're at least seven to eight feet tall and entirely frightening. They pause in the entryway and tilt what must be their head, two tiny red lights aimed in my direction. My heartbeat picks up as my anxiety rises.
Unfortunately for me, my mouth never stops. "So, uh, come here often?" I could hit myself.
The creature takes a step forward and I take one back. I can hear the Doctor start to question the creature on what they want, what we can do to drop the tresspassing charges as we weren't even trying to tresspass, and asking for them to leave me alone. They slowly continue towards me and with each step they take, I take one back until my back hits the wall behind me and my panic threatens to take over. My breaths come in quick puffs and my hands start to shake. Rock person from my nightmares is now right in front of me and slowly reaching out, what I am hoping is one of their arms, to my head.
Oh God. Skull crushing is not in my top ten list if ways I would prefer to die, it's not even top twenty.
"Stop, you don't want to do that! Please don't hurt her!" The Doctor pleaded and I could barely hear him over the blood rushing in my ears.
What felt like a fist full of gravel tapped my face and caressed slowly down to my neck and I had thought that this turned into a strangely intimate way to die.
Rocks cascading down a hill made up the voice that spoke up and said, "Pretty, squishy thing will stay with me in my chambers."
Wait..... what?
I blink so rapidly the rock creature surely felt a soft breeze and then I look up into the two red lights where eyeballs should be in disbelief. My brain is doing gymnastics trying wrap around what they just said.
"I'm sorry," I cough out and clear my throat. "But it sounded like you want me to come with you to your chambers and keep me there?"
"Yes. Pretty stay on my shelf in my chambers." Their voice ran up my skin like gravel and I broke out in goosebumps.
"For why?" I manage to get out in my stupor and they stop caressing my neck, taking a step back.
"You can't just keep her, she's not an object," the Doctor interjects and I swear the noise that came out of that creature must have been a scoff.
"Pretty belongs on shelf. I give nice, shiny coverings to look at pretty everyday," they explain.
Holy shit. The rock wants to collect the human. My third grade hobby has come back to bite me in the ass in some weird version of "the rock collector's revenge".
I can't help the panicked giggle that escapes me and I cover my mouth, eyes wide. The Doctor shoots me a look of fond exasperation, one that tells me he knows where I'm likely to take this.
"So... you think I'm pretty?" I ask after uncovering my mouth. I can hear the Doctor using his sonic screwdriver again when the creature gives an affirmative answer. I raise one hand to nervously twirl a strand of hair and purse my lips. "What is it about me that you find pretty?"
"Shiny h/c hair and smooth surface all over. Would look great in my gold and sapphire coverings," the gravel runs out again and I fight off the shiver that voice brings, feeling very glad it's not like nails on a chalkboard. A gleam enters my eyes and I smirk.
"Gold and sapphire you say? Well, do I have a bargain for you! My friend in that cell next to me has some beautiful silver and ruby, uh, coverings for me in that blue box you found us by! What do you say to us going to go put those on before you store me on your shelf to admire me forever?" I try fluttering my eyelashes, hoping that it looks alluring and not like a weird twitch.
The Doctor stops his sonic again and I can tell we are both waiting to see what the creature will say as they spend a few minutes to think it over.
"Silver and Ruby very pretty. Must go get," they respond. The mini me in my mind does a victory dance.
"Okay, well, you'll need both of us to go get it. Do you mind letting my friend out?"
And I don't know how it works but some luck God/Goddess smiled on me and the rock creature let us both out and led us back to the Tardis. We both entered with false promises for me to step back out in my "silver and ruby" coverings and the immediately high tailed it out of there and back to a distant point in time and space to just let the Tardis float for a bit.
Once "parked" the Doctor and I stare at each other for less than a minute before we both burst into hysterical laughter. I even wipe a few mirthful tears from my eyes.
"That was honestly such a breath of fresh air compared to the last time we got captured for tresspassing," I say, smiling. He laughs again, head tilted back.
"Maybe bat your eyes faster next time and we won't end up in a cell," he teases. I walk up to him and slump my head on his shoulder in mock surrender.
"I can't believe they wanted me on their shelf, like a trophy! Still," I look back up, pondering. "I can't help but be quite flattered. I would have never known I was a collectible if you were a competent driver."
He mimes being shot in the chest, the drama queen. "I can't believe they wanted to keep you either, all that snark in that small, human body..," he trails off and I lightly whack his arm.
"Hey! Are you saying you wouldn't want to keep me on your shelf? In shiny coverings?" I burst out laughing again after my last question, leaning on him and missing the soft look he sets on me, before it's bottled back up.
He pats my back. "I've already got you as a companion, what do I need you on my shelf for? Commentary on my how I wake up in the morning? Making fun of how I sort my sock drawer?"
I make a face. "You sort your socks?"
He grins widely at me before turning a wheel at the console and moving on. "What do you say about going to the actual moon now, Earth's moon? I'll even run a scan and everything."
I clap my hands a few times and then brace myself on the console. "Let's go!"