Chapter Text
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<<<>>> indicates a change of POV
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This was not how Clarke pictured her senior year to be.
You see, she always thought she would feel some kind of change but so far, school remained the same endless and boring cycle. It was clear to everyone that Clarke was extremely popular, not that she ever wanted to be. She had many friends and could have anyone she wanted and yet, she felt as though something was missing in her life.
She was pulled away from her thoughts when the bell rang, indicating the end of first period. She made her way towards her locker where Octavia and Raven were waiting for her.
"Did you guys hear about the new transfer student ?" Octavia asked in an overly excited voice.
"What transfer student ?" Clarke asked.
"Apparently, there is going to be a new student arriving here today" Raven replied "And Octavia, here, is being a thirsty hoe hoping it will be a hot guy"
"Am not !" protested Octavia "I’m just curious" she added weakly.
"Whatever you say, O" Raven said teasingly.
"Do we not know anything about them ?" Clarke asked, intrigued.
"Nope."
"Weird. Well, as much as I would love to stay, I got a class to go to and so do you. See you later, losers" Clarke said before she walked towards her next period.
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Clarke hated math. Actually no, she hated the math teacher. Charles Pike was a substitute at Arkadia since the beginning of the school year. The guy had barely been here for two months but he acted as if he owned the place. It infuriated Clarke.
As Clarke was dozing off, a knock on the door made her jump in surprise. She looked up and saw the principal, Mr.Kane, entering the classroom followed by a girl she had never seen before. Her brain suddenly stopped working.
The girl was beautiful.
Her wild chestnut curls were falling down her shoulders. She was fit and probably a bit taller than Clarke. Her face was angled towards the floor, making it impossible to see her eyes and Clarke couldn’t help but notice how vulnerable she looked. A sense of protectiveness flowed over Clarke at the sight. As she regained her senses, she caught the end of Kane’s sentence.
" …….Lexa Woods. She is joining us here at Arkadia High. Please, welcome her well."
Whispers could be heard from other students and the newcomer still didn’t look up as Kane exited the room. When Pike instructed her to take a seat, a visible wave of panic flew through her as she was now the center of attention. When she finally detached her eyes from the ground, they connected with blue ones.
Seeing the fear in beautiful emerald eyes, Clarke offered her a soft smile and watched as Lexa made her way towards the back of the class, plopping down quietly in the seat next to Clarke’s.
"Hey, I’m Clarke" she whispered.
The girl chanced a glance at her and nodded slightly, acknowledging Clarke but making no move to respond. She then resumed looking at her book which seemed like the most interesting thing to her right now.
Clarke didn’t let it unsettle her as she whispered again. "Where do you come from ?"
At this, the girl gripped her pencil tighter and Clarke decided to let it go for now.
"It’s okay if you don’t want to talk. Just know that I’m here if you need help with classes or anything."
<<<>>>
Lexa didn’t know why this girl was talking to her. They didn’t know each other. Most importantly, she didn’t understand why she was being so nice. People at her old school were never nice to her. She got bullied a lot and had to change schools because of it. Surely, this time was not going to be any different. She couldn’t understand what Clarke wanted from her so she remained silent. She thought she saw a disappointed look take over the blonde’s features but she must have imagined it. Why would anyone want to be friends with someone like her ? Especially someone as beautiful as Clarke.
The blonde’s beauty did not go unnoticed by Lexa but she couldn’t allow herself to develop a crush on her. Not after what happened the last time. Not when it would be another reason for people to make her the target of their attacks. She decided to just keep her eyes on her book and prayed that no one would pay attention to her.
She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn’t notice she had been asked a question. The only indications of it were the several eyes now trained on her, making her highly uncomfortable and the expectant look in her teacher’s eyes. She should have known things were not going to go as smoothly as she hoped.
Pike then repeated his question, sounding slightly annoyed. "From which school do you come from, Miss Woods ?"
Lexa froze.
She was not prepared for this. It was a simple question really, but Lexa couldn’t find it in her to reply due to all the students looking at her. She just stared at the teacher, mouth slightly agape, panic starting to settle in. Why couldn’t anyone understand that speaking in public terrified her ? Why couldn’t they just leave her alone ?
The silence dragged on and Pike looked angry now. "Miss Woods, answer the question !" he yelled.
Lexa felt unshed tears in the corner of her eyes, threatening to fall and was about to let them do exactly that when a voice rang through the room.
Clarke.
"Can’t you see she’s not comfortable with this ?! Why would you push her to answer the damn question when she clearly doesn’t want to ?" she said angrily.
"Miss Griffin, you will stay out of this !!"
"Like hell I will." she replied.
This was too much. Lexa needed to get out of this classroom as soon as possible. She jumped out of her seat and ran out the door. She barely registered the sound of the door opening and closing behind her as she ran to the nearest bathroom. Why can’t I be normal ? She thought as she sobbed and breathed heavily on the cold floor.
<<<>>>
Clarke saw Lexa run out of the classroom and stopped mid-sentence. She hurried out, looking around for Lexa, ignoring Pike yelling at her to get back immediately.
She saw movement from the corner of her eyes and ran towards it only to find an empty hallway.
"Fuck" she muttered under her breath. She spotted the bathroom, pushed the door open and was met with an heartbreaking sight. There was Lexa, sitting on the floor, breathing heavily, her knees pulled up to her chest and her arms wrapped around them. Her mom being a doctor, Clarke immediately recognised the signs of a panic attack and pushed away her sadness for the girl in front of her so she could help her.
She got closer to the girl who still hadn’t noticed the intruder and slowly crouched down to her eye level making sure not to touch the brunette, not knowing if she would be okay with physical contact.
"Lexa ? Lexa, it’s Clarke. You’re safe. I need you to breathe, okay ?"
The only indication that the girl had heard her was the slight nod she gave. Her breathing was still not slowing down, though.
Clarke had to think fast. This time, she gently wrapped her hand around Lexa’s upper arm. The brunette tensed up but didn’t pull away. Clarke took it as a good sign and continued trying to calm her down.
"Lexa, I need you to focus on my voice, just listen to my voice. Do you think you can do that for me ?"
Once again Lexa offered a nod and looked into Clarke’s eyes for the first time since the beginning of the exchange. Lexa’s eyes were filled with tears and… fear ?
What is she so afraid of ? Clarke wondered. However, she didn’t have time to dwell on it. Lexa needed her.
"Here, try to match your breathing with mine, alright ?"
Clarke started taking big, slow breaths before slowly releasing the air from her lungs. After the fifth time, Lexa joined her and a few minutes later, her breathing had considerably slowed down. When Lexa’s breathing evened out, Clarke got up to get her some tissues. She was about to turn around when long fingers wrapped around her wrist, green eyes looking up at her pleadingly.
She thinks I’m going to leave her.
Clarke crouched back down and cupped Lexa’s cheeks with both hands. Surprisingly, Lexa didn’t pull away from the touch, if anything, she leaned into it.
"Hey, I’m not leaving you. I was just going to grab some tissues for you but I can stay right here if you want." Clarke reassured her softly.
<<<>>>
When Clarke got up, Lexa got so scared. She grabbed Clarke’s wrist, surprising herself at the action. She was never one for physical contact. What was it about Clarke that made her feel so at ease ?
She tried to convey through her eyes what she so desperatly wanted to say and luckily clarke understood because she went back to her previous position, cupping her cheeks, offering the comfort Lexa needed.
Lexa didn’t understand why this almost stranger was being so nice but she decided to accept it because it felt really good to not be alone for once. So when Clarke wrapped her arms around her, she let herself sink into the embrace.
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She doesn’t know how long they stayed like this, only separating when the bell resonated through the hallways.
Suddenly, Lexa felt extremely self-conscious and couldn’t help the blush that rose to her cheeks. She had just had a break down in front of a girl she barely knew. She tried masking her embarassement by looking away but Clarke had felt the shift in her behaviour.
"Hey, there’s no need to be embarrassed" she said softly "Like, I said, I’m here for you. I’m not just talking about classes. Whatever you need, you can ask me."
Upon hearing those words, Lexa felt a spark of hope inside of her but quickly shut it down. She will leave you, just like everybody else. You can’t afford to be weak.
With that in mind, she quickly left the bathroom. Had she looked back, she would have seen a confused Clarke trying to catch up with her to no avail.
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She had two more classes with Clarke that day. She could see Clarke wanted to say something but kept herself from doing so. Lexa thought it was for the best.
As the final bell rang, Lexa stuffed her books in her bag and made her way outside. There was Clarke, leaning against the wall, her bag thrown over her left shoulder. It was too late to run away as the girl had already spotted her and was soon standing in front of her.
"Lexa ! Hey ! I was looking for you !"
Looking for me ? What for ? She's probably going to tell me she doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore...that’s what always happens.
"Why did you run out of the bathroom earlier ?" she asked.
Before Lexa could formulate a reply, not that she would have responded anyway, Clarke continued speaking.
"Look, I know what it’s like to be the new kid. Been there, done that" she laughed lightly but seeing no reaction from Lexa, she stopped "What I meant to say is that I genuinely want to help you. It can’t be easy not knowing anyone here."
Lexa was so confused. What kind of game was Clarke playing ? She wanted to trust her so badly but couldn’t bring herself to do it. Head over heart. She repeated the mantra her father kept saying.
Clarke reached out for Lexa’s hand but the brunette pulled away. A mix of emotions passed through Clarke’s eyes. Disappointment, confusion, … hurt ? No, it couldn’t be. Why would someone like Clarke care for someone like me, Lexa thought bitterly before walking away once again, ignoring Clarke calling after her.
<<<>>>
Lexa had left, again. Clarke was left wondering if she said anything to upset the brunette.
Why do I care so much about this girl ?
She saw Finn approaching her and groaned in frustration. She was so not in the mood for this.
"Hey, babe ! Want a ride ?" he said, throwing her a smile that was probably meant to be charming.
Clarke was having none of it.
"One, I’m not your ‘babe’ and two, I have my own car, thank you very much." She replied coldly.
"Oh come on, babe, don’t be like that !" he said while roughly grabbing her wrist and pulling her into him.
"Let go of me, you asshole !" she yelled while trying to slip out of the firm grip he now had on her upper arms.
"You know we’d be good together. Just give me a chance, you won’t regret it." he said, throwing her a wink that made her feel as though she was going to throw up.
She closed her eyes as he got dangerously close to her face. Suddenly his hands disappeared from her arms. She cautiously opened her eyes and was shocked to see Lexa standing over Finn, the latter holding his nose in pain.
<<<>>>
Lexa was almost out of the parking lot when she heard the commotion. She was about to just keep walking when the sound of Clarke’s voice made her stop dead in her tracks.
"Let go of me, you asshole !"
Her head was screaming at her to keep walking away but her body seemed to have a mind of its own. She turned around and ran towards the sound. There she found Clarke, her eyes closed, violently held by a boy who was getting closer and closer to her face.
She lost it.
She gripped the collar of his jacket and pulled him away from Clarke, then punched him in the nose, effectively breaking it.
"You bitch ! You fucking broke my nose ! What the fuck is wrong with you ?!" he screamed. He then got up and lunged forward in an attempt to punch Lexa. She swiftly blocked his fist and kicked him in the ribs, making him fall backwards.
Just as Finn was about to retaliate, Kane sternly interrupted the fight.
"What is going on here ? Violence will not be tolerated here. The three of you, in my office, now."
Only then did Lexa realize what she had done and the sea of students who had come to see what was going on.
Why the fuck did I just do that ? How stupid am I ? She had spent so much time building up walls to have a girl break them down in less than a day.
She felt a soft hand slip into her own and a thumb gently brush her bloodied knuckles. She looked to her side and saw blue eyes looking back at her. Clarke looked a bit shocked but she was smiling warmly at her nonetheless, mouthing a ‘thank you’ and Lexa thought that maybe, maybe it had been worth it after all.