Work Text:
‘How are you boys with psychedelics?’ Roberts asks, his tone just as casual and curious as it usually is.
There's a nervous smile flashing across Gabe's face at that question. Ryan can recognise it.
‘I don't need them.’ Gabe says, trying to seem proud and tough. ‘I'm a psycho without drugs.’ he laughs.
Robert gives him an unimpressed look. Slowly he turns back around to look at Ryan, taking a sip from his private bottle of wine.
‘Not my thing.’ Ryan raises his voice to be heard clearly through the music. ‘I get dizzy and paranoid, it kills my whole flow.’
Ryan's tone is casual and confident, and Robert's eyes light up when faced with someone who's experienced. A small smile creeps on his face and Gabe looks disappointed. Ryan smirks to himself, knowing that no matter how long he's been trying, Gabe won't be able to keep up with him when it comes to drugs.
‘What's your poison, then?’ Robert's voice is low, but Ryan can hear excitement in it.
‘Coke.’ Ryan says.
Robert lets out a booming laugh and Ryan feels heat creeping in on his cheeks. It's hard to know what feelings bring it on when Ryan is this drunk and this horny. Robert's impressed expression and his clear excitement directed Ryan's way makes him feel expectedly aroused. Not to mention that just about 15 minutes ago the three saw each other naked, and Robert fits quite nicely into Ryan's type.
He's been holding himself back, or at least he tried. Thankfully he managed not to get a hard-on while all of his co-workers were watching. He would never live that down.
‘Come with me.’ Robert suggests and grabs Ryan by the waist, his warm hand is easy to feel through the thin silk robe on his naked body. He leads him away from the pool and Ryan takes his last look at Gabe who apparently has drawn the line at doing drugs. If Ryan wasn't hammered and horny and too proud not to come out on top, maybe he'd admire his resilience.
Robert's hand doesn’t leave Ryan's waist as the two walk away from the loud music into a private, quiet room. Ryan can already feel his blood rushing down when he lets himself lean into the implications of Robert's touch.
This hasn't happened for so long. Ryan missed being with men.
There’s something special about that. Ryan isn’t sure if it’s better, the jury is still out, it’s entirely possible Ryan is still too scared to admit to himself that he’s gay, he knows that’d close the door to being with Kelly, and being with Kelly is better than being alone.
Robert takes his hand away and turns on a small desk lamp. Only then Ryan gets to look at the room and realise he’s in his private office. Robert doesn’t say anything for a long moment, enjoying the silence that makes Ryan antsy.
'You do it a lot?’ Ryan asks just to fill the space.
Robert gives him a look, analytical and strange, and Ryan worries if he sounds too eager. Robert probably wouldn’t find that too attractive.
’Are you able to stay in control?’ Robert asks, voice low and face shrouded in deep shadows next to the harsh light of the desk lamp. He pulls out a silver box Ryan recognises a little too well and he can already feel himself getting restless. ’I’ve heard you’ve had quite the craving for it when you worked at corporate.’
Ryan scoffs, trying not to show how a mention of that time makes him feel.
'That was me being young and dumb.’ Ryan says, truthfully. 'I’m good now. I can handle it.’
Robert barely reacts. Ryan really hopes he’s not killing the mood by being so desperate.
’Are you having fun, Ryan?’ He asks, but it’s not out of concern or curiosity. Robert speaks like he wants to catch him slipping, and Ryan is too drunk to know how to evade that.
’Yeah, totally.’ He says with a breath, watching Robert’s hands opening the box.
The older man does a line right in front of him right out of it, effortlessly and full of class just like Ryan used to in his own office. When he’s done and the drug hits him he smiles at Ryan, hungry and playfully. Ryan lets out a shaky breath.
’This…’ Robert says, pointing to the white powder and swaying lightly on his feet. '...this is not for the faint of heart, Ryan.’
’Are you gonna offer or will you keep moralising? I said I can handle it.’ Ryan sharply asks to his own surprise, and Robert’s eyes widen with amusement as he finally reaches his hand out and hands Ryan the coke.
'Fiery, aren’t you?’ Robert says.
Ryan doesn’t realise when the man walks around and moves closer toward him. Too focused on hitting that line and keeping the imagery of fire out of his mind. Being associated with fire is reserved for one other person and he’s not here nor anywhere close.
‚Fuck–’ Ryan mutters, throwing his head back to make sure everything goes down the right pipe. The metal straw hits the wooden desk and the sound rings loud in Ryan’s ear, just as loud as Robert’s low chuckle right next to his face.
Robert’s stuff is strong. Stronger than what Ryan got his hands on in New York and after.
'Good, let it work it’s magic.’ Robert says, placing one hand on Ryan’s shoulder and the other at his waistline, right below where the belt of the robe loosely keeps Ryan clothed. ’Open your mind and your body.’
Ryan lets out a laugh, turning around to look at Robert’s face. His features are so soft and pleasant, yet contrasted with his harsh, strong aura of authority and control. Ryan doesn’t often let himself be controlled, but Robert makes the idea alluring, and the cocaine makes Ryan more courageous.
Robert stares at him so analytically and hungrily, eyes moving up and down to see everything he can, Ryan can’t handle the closeness and the tension anymore, and perhaps through the effects of the drug, the two are on the same page and at the exact same moment they lean and close the distance between their lips.
Robert tastes like wine and smells like chlorine. His hair is still wet when it brushes against Ryan’s face and his kiss is strong and aggressive, leaning into Ryan’s and pushing further and deeper.
And Ryan likes it. He likes being desired. Even in a coke-fueled drunken haze.
Robert’s hand moves down, softly undoing the belt of the robe and Ryan feels it fall down from his shoulders, cold air hitting any part of his body that’s not yet completely dry. Robert keeps kissing him as his hand moves slowly yet roughly to grab Ryan’s ass.
Ryan feels his cock twitch, going fully hard as it brushes against Robert’s own erection, still clothed under his thin robe.
'Not your first time, I assume?’ Robert says in a low murmur as they part.
Ryan grins at him, shaking his head in excitement. He finds it hard to speak.
'No, it’s not.’ His voice cracks. He’s past caring about seeming eager. Robert looks like he likes it.
'How many times have you fucked your old bosses, Ryan?’ Robert asks, Ryan almost doesn’t hear it, distracted by Robert’s hand wrapping around his cock and slowly but deliberately stroking him. Ryan lets out a breath, wondering for a moment if Robert can read his mind and see someone else in there.
'I didn’t.’ Ryan says, almost choking at his words and stifling a moan. 'We just kissed. Me and Michael just kissed.’
Robert laughs like he doesn’t believe it, before Ryan can try to prove it Robert catches him in a kiss again, humming his own moan right into his mouth as he keeps working his magic with his hand.
Ryan and Michael just kissed. Nothing more and nothing less. Ryan thinks back to the moment in Michael’s office after hours, when he finally connected their lips. Michael tasted like caramel coffee from the break room that Ryan can’t drink anymore. He was soft and he was shy, and after that he cried and said he couldn't do it. Couldn’t sacrifice what he thought he wanted, even if he knew how much love he had for Ryan. He never said it out loud, but Ryan knew. He could feel all of it in that short kiss, and he never forgot.
’Turn around…’ Robert whispers into his ear when he and Ryan part to take a breath.
Ryan nods and obeys, and it seems to miss him when Robert has grabbed the lube because his hand is wet and cold when he puts it near Ryan’s hole.
It doesn’t take too long for the older man’s robe to hit the floor and Ryan’s eyes are stuck on the silver box of coke that’s still on the wooden table and shakes slightly when Ryan leans over to support himself.
Ryan moans way too loudly when he feels Robert enter him, he grips the edge of the table and it shakes even harder when Robert starts moving. It’s not painful, and even if it is, Ryan likes it. Robert’s pretty big, but his body is soft and he’s strangely gentle in his roughness, like he knows exactly what he’s doing and how to make Ryan feel good.
He keeps moving, rythmically and harshly, and Ryan forgets to keep himself quiet, whoever walks by will hear him but he doesn't care. He doesn't mind people knowing he's having a good time.
Robert mostly groans and mutters something in a drunken mumble that Ryan doesn't discern. He can tell he's enjoying himself too, and Ryan tries his best not to think he'd rather Robert be someone else.
It's hard to imagine him as that someone else. He couldn't be more different from Michael if he tried.
The whole act is quick for both of them, or at least it feels like it because Ryan finds it hard to keep track of time when he’s high. He assumes it went quick, because the clarity after he comes into Robert’s hand aligns perfectly with the climax of his high.
Robert finishes right after with a loud groan and a satisfied chuckle. The strange gentleness he displays during the act and after is surprising to Ryan, but welcome. It speaks to his character to not be a selfish lover, and when the two are done, panting and sweaty, Robert takes out a few tissues to clean Ryan and himself up.
Ryan feels spent and done in a good way, and he appreciates these however-many minutes of bliss. Robert quietly hands Ryan his robe as he himself dresses in his own and with a smirk and an eyebrow raise gives Ryan a look that suggests he might be open to doing this again.
Ryan returns the smile. Then he asks if he can do another line. He doesn’t tell Robert how much drugs help with keeping Michael out of his mind. Something tells him Robert knows, and somehow that doesn't feel so bad.