Work Text:
Disclaimer: If you know it, I do not own it. I do own a lot of shoes. If you happen to see those, they are mine.
Sirius slammed the door, not worrying about the level of noise. It was only him and Remus in the guest wing at Potter Manor, Peter having buggered off earlier that day. Pressing his back to the door, he looked around, finding the person he was looking for sitting on the bed as his eyes adjusted to the dark.
“Padfoot?”
Sirius’ tongue refused to unglue itself from the roof of his mouth.
“Er, Sirius?”
Once again, nothing was happening. His mouth refused to work. There were words, oh so many words, but none of them wanted to make an appearance for ears to hear.
“What’s wrong? You’re kind of scaring me.”
Actions spoke louder than words, right?
Why was this so hard? Sirius Black had approached a multitude of girls throughout his lifetime and it was as easy as quirking a single eyebrow to get them to fall into his arms. He had never once been nervous.
Sirius Black did not get nervous. It was unheard of. Sirius Black acted. Sirius Black charmed. Sirius Black was the most sought after male at Hogwarts. Sirius Black was marvelous.
Sirius Black was referring to himself in third person and using his full name.
“Sirius Orion Black, tell me now why you’re acting so weird.”
Pushing himself off the door, Sirius launched himself across the bedroom. In a few steps he landed on the bed, right on top of the reason for his late night jaunt down the hall. Remus let out an undignified noise that sounded almost like a high pitched squeak. Remus attempted to move out from under Sirius. Sirius had the element of surprise and pinned Remus to the bed, swooping down and kissing him full on the lips.
“Mmfghfmmnfk,” Remus said.
Sirius pulled away and stared down at his best friend.
“I kiss you and you decide it’s high time you make up words?”
“Wuzkignikens,” Remus went on.
Having no clue what Remus was trying to tell him, Sirius let his elbows fall to the bed, taking the space between Remus’ shoulder and head. He rested his head in his hands and stared at his friend, who was still struggling to speak English.
“Whatwasthat?”
“Hmm, that is closer to English, Moony. Good. I almost understood that,” Sirius offered, smiling in a bemused manner.
“Youarelyingontopofme.”
“Pause, breathe between words,” Sirius advised. “I think you’re speaking English now.”
Remus blinked at him owlishly.
“I don’t know how you cannot get it, Moony. This has been the longest summer of my life,” Sirius said, staring down at Remus. The room was dark, but the ambient light pouring in from outside allowed Sirius to make out Remus’ handsome features. Sirius was having a hard time remembering when he had failed to see how utterly gorgeous Remus happened to be. While he had a few scars along his cheeks, they only enhanced his features. He had a kind of soft, ruggedness to him that Sirius found himself unable to look away from.
Since realizing at the end of school he was in love with his best friend, Sirius had been unable to figure out how to let the other man know. The day following Sirius’ revelation, he thought long and hard with a head clear of mind altering drugs.
He drew the same conclusion.
Sirius Black was in love with Remus Lupin.
School ended and Sirius had no clue how to go about letting Remus know. Girls…he didn’t care about them. They were distractions, so he was able to swoop in, bat his eyes lashes, flash a grin or two, and bam, he had a snogging partner.
Remus was not a snogging partner.
He was Remus, Moony, a fellow Marauder.
He was also a boy.
This had weirded Sirius out for a few days, during which James swore up and down Sirius was ill. Mrs. Potter had forced so many various potions for various alinements down Sirius’s throat before they finally decided Sirius was “better.”
Sirius never did figure out what they thought was wrong with him.
As July approached, Sirius finally wrote to Atlanta asking her for advice on how to approach Remus. He wrote to her because a.) she already knew he was into Remus on a deeper level and b.) had this crazy idea the pair of boys were supposed to get together. This lead to c.) he knew she wouldn’t freak out on him.
She’d given him some advice: flirt obnoxiously.
Because he knew his usual methods of flirting would not work with Remus (Remus would automatically assume there was something wrong with Sirius and more than likely force him to see a healer), he asked Atlanta what the hell she meant.
Sirius, darling idiot, Atlanta had written, you already flirt with one another. The casual touches, the fact you cuddle up next to Remus any chance you get…you flick his hair out of his eyes constantly. Keep acting like you NORMALLY do, but add on eye contact. Use your charm, lay it on thick. Let him KNOW you are interested in him, but not in the cocky way you go up to girls. You care about Remus, so you need to go about it differently.
So, Sirius had done this during Remus’ visit to the Potter Manor. For a whole week, he made sure he spent all the time he could with Remus, he made sure to make lots of eye contact and dropped subtle hints left and right.
Remus thought the hints were all jokes.
Remus failed to notice anything was different.
Sirius yanked his hair out and began talking in third person using his full name.
Tomorrow morning, Remus was going to go home and he would not see him till they were on the train back to Hogwarts. In a fit of rashness, Sirius stormed out of his own bedroom and down the hall to where Remus was staying. He flung the door open and then slammed it, knowing it was easy to wake the werewolf and not the rest of the house.
Then the panic set it.
Then Sirius got mad at himself.
Then there was that annoying conversation with himself in third person which lead to Sirius launching himself at Remus and kissing him and Remus forgetting how to speak English.
And here they were. Remus was still stringing words together and looking flustered and Sirius was gazing down at the wonderful being that was Remus Lupin.
“You kissed me,” Remus finally said in proper English. “On the lips. And you are lying on top of me.”
“I noticed.”
“Why?”
Sirius sighed. He should have known he’d have to spell it out for Remus. He dropped his head out of his hand. It landed in the crook of Remus’ neck. He turned his head a bit and breathed in deep the mixtures of smells. There was the scent of Remus: a little doggy, a little bit booky, and a little inky. There was also the scent of whatever Mrs. Potter used to clean the sheets, which was annoyingly floral.
“You don’t make thing easy, do you?” Sirius muttered, lifting his head back up to see Remus.
Remus looked panicked.
“Oh, calm down. If you reject me it won’t be the end of the world,” Sirius lied.
It would be the end of the world.
Oh, don’t be so dramatic, Sirius Black. Oh, and stop thinking in third person.
“Reject you?” Remus squeaked.
Sirius gave himself a mental shake and put his head into matter at hand. He’d deal with this thinking in third person later.
“Did I not make my intentions clear? I want you,” Sirius said, lowering his face closer to Remus’ with each word.
“Why?”
Why? What a loaded question…
“I’m attracted to you. I want to do this.” Sirius lowered his head the last few inches and kissed Remus’ full mouth again. “I want to do this.” He darted his tongue out and lightly ran it over those lips he’d just kissed. Remus’ sharp intake of breath informed Sirius he was affecting the man under him. The shifting Remus did also informed Sirius he was doing things the werewolf enjoyed. “I want to do this.” Sirius trailed kisses down the other’s jaw line then ran his tongue lightly up and down Remus’ neck. Remus gasp. “And this.” Sirius kissed Remus’ mouth again and while doing that teased the other boy’s bottom lip with his tongue. He was about to draw away when Remus’ mouth opened a fraction.
That was all the invitation Sirius needed to deepen the kiss. Shifting himself again, he steady himself while he continued kissing. He ran his hands over the sides of Remus’s face and dragged his fingers through the other’s hair. Sirius felt Remus’ hand on his back, gripping his t-shirt.
Sirius drew away and said, “And so much more.”
“Why me?” Remus breathed. “Why now?”
Sirius figured it was a bit early to blurt out I LOVE YOU, so he settled on, “You cause me to feel things that no one else has ever caused me to feel. It just took me a while to figure it out. It makes sense to me.”
“But…”
“It’s you.”
Sirius pressed himself more into Remus, who gasped again. Wrapping his arms around the werewolf, Sirius rolled to the side, causing the pair to their sides facing one another. He wove his legs with Remus’ legs and kept his arms wrapped around Remus. He butted their foreheads together.
“It’s always been you, Moony. I just didn’t know it,” Sirius admitted. “But I’ve realized it. The question is now, do you want me.”
Remus stared at Sirius. Stared at him for a so long, Sirius was starting to worry he’d broken Remus.
“You’re an idiot,” Remus announced.
Before Sirius could respond, Remus was kissing him and Sirius figured he’d argue about his status as an idiot at a later date.