Chapter Text
April 20. 2:23 AM
Joo Jaekyung: Joo Jaekyung sent a photo.
Joo Jaekyung: Come here. ASAP
Green Bitch: WTF
Green Bitch: Big guy you got there
Green Bitch: But
Green Bitch: WTF
Joo Jaekyung: What?
Joo Jaekyung: You already saw it last month
Joo Jaekyung: Why are you still surprised?
Green Bitch: This is literally my first time seeing that dick
Green Bitch: And if I did, I wouldn’t forget that massive cock.
Green Bitch: Praying for your partner’s recovery tho
Green Bitch: 🙏
Joo Jaekyung: Fuck
Joo Jaekyung: You’re not that green haired bitch?
Green Bitch: Rude
Green Bitch: And yes, I’m not that green haired person you shove your massive shlong
Green Bitch: I’m brown haired since birth
Not Green Bitch: Not Green Bitch sent a photo.
Not Green Bitch: See? Healthy brown hair.
Joo Jaekyung: Who the fuck uses shlong these days
Not Green Bitch: I do
Not Green Bitch: After you sent me an unsolicited dick pic in the middle of the night.
Not Green Bitch: Surprising way to wake me from dozing off in my shift
Not Green Bitch: Thankful but surprised.
Joo Jaekyung: Fuck off.
Not Green Bitch: Again. Rude.
April 24. 10:03 PM
Not Green Bitch: Hey
Not Green Bitch: HEY
Not Green Bitch: Mind helping a friend?
Joo Jaekyung: I’m not sending you another dick pic.
Not Green Bitch: Wow
Not Green Bitch: Okay
Not Green Bitch: I didn't expect you to reply
Not Green Bitch: And you haven’t block my number yet
Joo Jaekyung: Thanks for reminding me.
Joo Jaekyung: I’m blocking you now.
Not Green Bitch: WAIT
Not Green Bitch: Please don’t.
Not Green Bitch: Not after helping me first.
Joo Jaekyung: Why would I even help you?
Not Green Bitch: Because you owe me one.
Joo Jaekyung: I don’t owe you shit.
Not Green Bitch: Yes you do.
Not Green Bitch: You literally traumatize a poor minimum wage student with your genitalia.
Joo Jaekyung: YOU’RE A STUDENT!?
Not Green Bitch: Aren’t you a little bit late for worrying about it now?
Not Green Bitch: But to calm you down. I’m in Grad School, getting my doctorate.
Joo Jaekyung: Thank fuck
Joo Jaekyung: And what a fucking nerd
Not Green Bitch: What are you? In high school?
Not Green Bitch: OMYGOD
Not Green Bitch: You're not in highschool right?
Joo Jaekyung: Aren’t you a little bit late for worrying about it now?
Not Green Bitch: HAHA
Not Green Bitch: Funny.
Joo Jaekyung: I know right.
Not Green Bitch: Anyways, I took a PhD because I wasn't suffering enough and because my granny told me so.
Joo Jaekyung: Cool backstory. Tell that to another person.
Not Green Bitch: Did you sleep on the wrong side of the bed?
Not Green Bitch: Or because you haven't found your partner yet?
Not Green Bitch: Trouble in paradise? I could help. My blockmate says I gave amazing relationship advice, even though I haven't been in one lol.
Joo Jaekyung: Awww
Not Green Bitch: Touch?
Joo Jaekyung: What a fucking loner.
Not Green Bitch: I hope you get you blue balled for the next 3 months.
Joo Jaekyung: As if that would happen.
Not Green Bitch: Cocky much?
Not Green Bitch: Oh right, you are cocky.
Not Green Bitch: Too much cock that you even slid one in my inbox.
Joo Jaekyung: Fuck you
Not Green Bitch: Pass
Not Green Bitch: Anyways, we’re getting side tracked.
Not Green Bitch: I need you to help me.
Joo Jaekyung: You literally just slandered me 5 seconds ago and now you're asking for my help?
Joo Jaekyung: Do you have some shame left in your body?
Not Green Bitch: Wait let me check
Not Green Bitch: Still have one!
Not Green Bitch: Yours are in my inbox btw, lol.
Joo Jaekyung: Can you stop talking about my dick for a second?
Not Green Bitch: Can you help me?
Joo Jaekyung: No.
Not Green Bitch: Then I won't stop talking about your massive anaconda
Joo Jaekyung: Fuck
Joo Jaekyung: What kind of help do you need?
Not Green Bitch: I need your body
Joo Jaekyung: Again. I’m not sending you another dick pic.
Not Green Bitch: I didn't need your genitalia.
Not Green Bitch: I have enough things on my plate right now and I don’t need a penis of a random person on top of that.
Joo Jaekyung: I’m not sending you a voice message calling you kitten or shit.
Not Green Bitch: Kinky
Not Green Bitch: I don’t know what you and your green haired partner do in bed, but from what I can see you’re both wild and experimental
Not Green Bitch: Not a bad way to keep your relationship intimate
Joo Jaekyung: WTF
Joo Jaekyung: And they’re not my partner
Not Green Bitch: Again. Rude.
Joo Jaekyung: I’m blocking you now.
Not Green Bitch: PLS
Not Green Bitch: NO
Not Green Bitch: I BEG YOU
Not Green Bitch: HELP ME FIRST
Not Green Bitch: PRETTY PLS
Not Green Bitch: We can call it quits after you help me.
Not Green Bitch: I’m doing some paper on musculoskeletal
Not Green Bitch: And your arm is every Physical Therapist’s wet dream
Joo Jaekyung: what the fuck
Not Green Bitch: I just need pictures of your arms
Not Green Bitch: Flexing, resting in all angles.
Not Green Bitch: Please Dick.
Not Green Bitch: Find kindness in your heart and soul to help out a caffeinated powered student here.
Joo Jaekyung: No
Not Green Bitch: Booo you whore.
Joo Jaekyung: I’m blocking you.
Not Green Bitch: NOOOOO [Not sent. Tap to try again.]
You can no longer send messages to this user.
April 25. 5:36 AM
Dick: Dick sent a photo.
Dick: Here.
Dick: Now we’re even.
April 25. 8:20 AM
Kim Dan: YEYYY
Kim Dan: THANKS DICK
Kim Dan: You're a massive life saver
Dick: 🖕