Work Text:
I am a phantom that shares a home with you
We share meals, sing songs, and experience seasons together
But am I really there?
Rumi accepted that she would never truly belong anywhere, it was just fact. She was too much of a demon for anyone to truly love her and too human to be anything but food for other demons.
And with her being her mother's legacy and Celine she'd never truly be able to live a civilian life nor did she truly fit it with other celebrities because she hated the parties and the gossip.
I smile and laugh with you but they are empty and fake compared to yours
I try to tell myself that I've accepted this as my fate but….
I'm so lonely, so cold, so hollow
Why can't I truly be a part of your world?
When Mira and Zoey showed up in her life, Rumi thought that she would finally start to feel like someone wanted her around, that she belonged somewhere and that people truly loved her…ALL of her.
But…She couldn't not with her patterns, not with Celine's suffocating disdain for the parts of her she couldn't help but have. 'Would the girls hate me too?' She thinks to herself.
She's wondered time and time again whether or not to tell them…but she's scared… she's only human
Please let me in
I'm cold and scared and tired
I want to enjoy the comfort and warmth of your hearts and souls
I want you to love me as much as I love you
After the Idol Awards….Rumi feels herself fading deeper into the background. She hardly see her the girls and knows that it's only a matter of time before they replace her with someone they can trust more, they can understand more, they can believe in more.
She understands why they would do it…but she still wakes up at 3am and races into her bathroom to prevent herself from throwing up in her room and so as to not wake Zoey and Mira up with her crying.
…And then one day, Rumi gets up and makes her way out to the living room and sees the other thirds of her soul sitting there, waiting to talk to her, their eyes red rimmed and cheeks flushed from crying.
"Oh…Hi, sorry I can leave if you need me to." Rumi murmurs to them before starting to turn around to leave them be
"Rumi…Please stop doing this…We love you and we can tell you are hurting. Please just talk to us." Zoey says voice heavy with barely contained sadness
"Please…did…did we do something wrong?" Mira rasps out.
With wide eyes Rumi whips around and looks at them, "No! no, you two did nothing wrong….aren't…aren't you mad at me? I thought because of the quiet and you both being gone so much that you were looking to replace me, which I get it, i deserve it." she says while looking down and wringing her hands together in a futile attempt to self soothe.
This was apparently the wrong thing to say as it causes a fresh wave of tears to come out of the other parts of her heart as they both shoot up from the couch and rush over to embrace her.
To be perceived is to be known, to be known is to be loved,
to be loved…to be loved is to truly exist
And to exist and be loved is when one fully begins to heal
Mind, Body and Soul
The sheer love radiating through Mira and Zoey into Rumi is like basking in the late Spring Sun. Warming, soothing but without burning. Rumi's vision begins to cloud as a wave of repressed guilt and sorrow flows out of her. She drops to her knees as her body is wracked with sobs, her girls embracing her and allowing her to feel and not hide away from them any longer.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…I just want to be loved and be me and not have to be sacred and alone all the time. I'm sorry i hurt you, I'm sorry I lied, I didn't mean to do it. Please don't leave me. I don't want to hurt anymore." Rumi's inconsolable ramblings spill from her mouth
Mira and Zoey just hold her, whispering soft assurances and quietly crying alongside her. "We love you Rumi, we didn't know just how long you've been hurting but we're here. You're not alone anymore." Mira says
"Yeah, sweetheart. We're sorry we made you think we were angry with you. Hurt yes but not angry." Zoey adds to Mira's words
To be loved unconditionally is the start of bringing a living ghost back from the purgatory of their mind
It is not an easy medicine to take
and not it is not easy to find
But when you find unconditional love
It's power can heal the harshest of wound
Over the following weeks, the girls become closer together and work on healing together. It is a slow process, with many speed bumps and roadblocks but it is a necessary process. Through therapy, love, patience and communication they begin to mend not just themselves but with the others in their lives. Celine begins to see and accept all of Rumi, patterns included, Bobby becomes even more like a older brother/uncle to them and eventually three hearts become one as the girls admit their full feelings for each other.