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Magnus Bane was someone who always lived in the moment, cherised each second and took things one step at a time. It was rare for him to look back on the past or hope for the future expectantly. However, the sight before his eyes, as he'd wandered into the sitting area after his nap, made him stop short, and he couldn't help but revisit all his memories of his beloved Alexander.
Alec was on the floor, sprawled in an awkward position and laughing as their children sprawled on top of him. Rafe was about to slip when Alec slid a hand around his middle and yanked him back up. Max's fingertips were glowing with the light of magic - he often ended up producing sparks when he was happy, and when he was with Alec, he was always so excited.
"Ooh, Maxie," Alec yelped as one of Max's sparks landed on his arm, "Careful there, baby."
Max tried to look guilty, but his happy smile won, and he giggled as he said, "Sorry, daddy."
Alec ruffled his hair and said, "It's okay, darling. I know it was an accident."
And Magnus watched with fondness as all three of them went back to play wrestling, leaning against the bedroom doorframe a small smile playing about. He remembered meeting Alec for the first time, the immediate attraction he felt, he remembered saving Alec's life, kissing Alec for the first time, feeling his nerves light up for the first time in so many decades. He remembered Alec working up the courage to ask him out, he remembered Alec kissing him in the Hall of Accords and his own shock. He remembered their first holiday and their first time, how it had felt like Magnus had finally found a home. He remembered their first and only real fight, Alec's heartbreak, his own misery.
He remembered Alec coming to Edom to save him, saying that he wanted Magnus and not the world, he remembered his own relief at seeing Alec and being able to kiss him again. He remembered how they'd slowly built their relationship back up, Magnus opening up more and more, and Alec never once breaking his trust. And then Max had happened, the greatest joy of his life, a family with Alexander, and then Rafe had followed. And the warlock sickness that had come for him, Alec's fear and yet his bravery, sitting at Magnus' bedside for hours, murmuring sweet nothings until finally he was cured. He remembered, with a sense of pure and unadultered joy, their wedding and every day since, filled with life, laughter and love.
He was shaked out of his reverie by Alec walking towards him asking, "Thinking deep thoughts?"
Magnus smiled at him, reaching forward and lacing their fingers together, "Only how much I love you."
Alec rolled his eyes, but he seemed pleased and looked at Magnus with warm eyes, "I love you too."
Magnus looked over Alec's shoulder, found both their sons wresting each other, and leant down and kissed Alec quickly on the mouth. "You don't have Patrol tonight, right?"
"No," Alec said with a teasing light in his eyes, "I'm all yours."
"Okay," Magnus returned the look, "I look forward to it." He kissed Alec again and leant his weight against the Shadowhunter when they pulled away, humming when Alec's hands came around him.
"You okay?" Alec asked after a minute of holding him, "Still tired? Feel free to sleep a little more."
"No," Magnus mumured, "I just want to be here with you for a bit."
Magnus felt Alec's smile as he kissed the top of the warlock's head, "Okay. Love you."
"I know," Magnus sighed.
They had to pull away from each other after a while and cook dinner, with 'help' from Max and Rafe. And after dinner, Magnus had declared, with an appaled gasp, "You've never seen Frozen, Alexander? That's terrible. Come on, movie night."
So now, Magnus and Alec stretched out on the sofa, Magnus' head in Alec's lap and Max settled on a beanbag and Rafe on the loveseat, as the opening credits to Frozen started. Magnus flicked his wrist, dimming the lights and sparking candles to life, summoning a blanket to drape over himself and his husband.
"Prepare to have your life changed," he promised Alec and snuggled in more.
Partway through the film, Magnus heard soft sniffles filling the room and realised his sons were both passed out. He looked up at Alec, who was still loyally watching the movie. "Can't believe those brats are asleep through such a wonderful movie," he shook his head.
Alec grinned, "All the playing must've tired them out."
"We can carry on tomorrow?" Magnus asked, sitting up and curling his hands into Alec's shirt, "And retire to our room?"
"Mm," Alec mumbled, "You have the best ideas."
This close to Alec, Magnus could see the smile lines that had started to form on Alec's beautiful face, his blue eyes warmer with age, and yet, Magnus found his heart stuttering at the sight of the man before him. He was still breathtaking to Magnus, causing all of Magnus' nerves to alight with desire, sending all his blood surging and his heart beating furiously.
"What?" Alec asked after a moment of being watched.
"You look beautiful."
"Magnus," Alec blushed slightly, "You don't need to sweet talk me, I'm your husband."
"That doesn't mean I can't complement you," Magnus pointed out and then stood up, "Come on. Let's put them to bed before I give in and just shove you against the sofa right now."
Alec quirked an eyebrow, "What, I'm attractive to you now with pasta sauce stains on my T-shirt?"
"Darling, you're always attractive to me," Magnus said with a wink, "But if you're concerned about the T-shirt, I have no problem ripping it off of you."
"By the Angel, Magnus," Alec groaned, "Not in front of the kids!"
"They're asleep, love."
Alec shook his head with a grin and scooped Max into his arms as Magnus did the same with Rafe. They settled their sons down in their respective rooms before meeting in the bedroom, and Alec laughed as Magnus immediately shut the door and flung himself into Alec's arms, kissing him deeply.
"What has gotten into you?" Alec asked as Magnus starting kissing and sucking at his neck, "Oh, oh. That feels good."
Magnus grinned against Alec's neck, "I was watching you play with our sons, and it kinda made me fall in love with you all over again. I can't explain it. I feel like a horny teenager again. Fuck me, Alexander."
"Magnus, please don't mention our kids when you're asking me to fuck you," Alec said, throwing his head back against and moaning as Magnus rucked his T-shirt up, fingers and rings carressing his torso.
"Noted," Magnus mumbled as he pulled away and helped take Alec's T-shirt off, divesting his own dressing gown in the process.
And then Alec walked them backwards, sending Magnus tumbling into the sheets as he landed above, and kissed Magnus again. The kisses grew wilder and sloppier as they struggled out of their bottoms, hands touching and hips moving to create a wonderful friction that had them hiding their moans in each other's mouths. When, after some torturous teasing, Alec finally moved, Magnus gasped out, searching for Alec's hands even as his eyes fell shut.
Alec saw the motion, and linked their fingers against the satin sheets, picking up a rythm that he knew Magnus liked.
"Mmm," Magnus said, "You're so perfect. So good. Alexander."
"Can you look at me, love?" Alec asked, slowing his hips, "Open your eyes for me, Magnus."
And Magnus couldn't ever resist that voice, so he looked into Alec's eyes and nearly finished on the spot, the amount of love in the beloved blue gaze undoing him in a way nothing ever had before. He felt overwhelmed with how much he felt for his Alec, every drive of his hips, every gasp Alec gave out making him totally insane.
"Fuck, Alexander," Magnus groaned, cupping Alec's cheek, "You're so gorgeous. Fuck, like that. Yes. Mmm. So good, darling. I love you."
"I love you, Magnus," Alec responded, "You're so beautiful."
When Alec picked up the pace, one of his hands still laced with Magnus' and the other feeling up his torso, Magnus felt something in him rip apart, all his love and desires threatening to drown him, and he thought for a blinding agony of a moment, about losing this love one day, losing Alec, and was powerless to hold his tears back.
Alec immediately slowed down, "Hey, what's wrong? Did I hurt you?"
Alec moved to pull out, but Magnus shook his head feverently, "No, no, Alexander," he protested, "I want to feel you. Touch me. Keep moving. Please, Alexander. Don't stop."
And bless him, Alec tusted Magnus enough to start moving again, at a much slower pace, but deeper with every movement, so much so that Magnus couldn't help his eyes from closing again, a steady stream of tears following as he felt himself bursting at the seams with pleasure.
"Close," Magnus murmured, "So close. Faster, Alexander. Please. Mm. Yes. Like that. Right there, my love."
And finally, Magnus tumbled off the edge, feeling boneless as he felt Alec finish too, collapsing beside him in a tangle of limbs. Magnus cleared the mess away with a snap of his fingers, and sighed contently when Alec pulled him closer, nuzzling against his neck. He heard Alec's heartbeat, heard Alec's soft voice humming, and felt another wave of dread pass through him at the thought that one day, he wouldn't be able to hear those sounds anymore, the sounds that had slowly become the melody accompanying his life.
It took Magnus a while to realise he was shuddering in Alec's arms, tears racking his entire body, as he fought to control himself, tell himself he still had many decaded with his Alec, but none of it would be enough. How cruel of the world to give him a love that would inevitably be ripped away from him, how cruel that he fell heartbreakingly in love Alec, but couldn't keep him. He'd always known Alec was different, that their love was different, but he'd never stop being surprised at just how different. How after centuries, his heart felt relaxed beside Alec, how his entire being could rest when Alec was near, how everything wrong within the world gained some colour just because of Alec's presence.
"Magnus," Alec was saying gently, arms tightening around his warlock, "Hey, you're okay. What's wrong, love? Breathe. I'm here. Whatever it is, it'll be okay. I'm here."
And Magnus couldn't help it when a voice at the back of his mind whispered, you won't always be here, and the words went through him like ice. He'd always forbid himself from thinking about the future and worrying, but something had made his heart ache tonight. Maybe it was seeing the happiness of Alec and his sons when they played together, maybe it was seeing the first traces of smile lines appearing, and maybe it was just the fact Magnus felt so much love for Alec that it was terrifying. He didn't know, so he just sobbed into Alec's chest.
Finally, Magnus calmed down enough to look into Alec's eyes, finding nothing but love there. "Do you want to talk about it?" Alec asked.
"I just-" Magnus made a few false attempts before grinding out, "I can't lose you, Alexander."
"You won't," Alec said, "I'm not going anywhere."
"Not now," Magnus struggled, "But - in - in seven or eight decades? I can't- At the start of our relationship, I tried to accept it. It was difficult then, so I just pushed the worries away. Live in the moment. But every day since the first, I love you more, Alec. And that just makes it harder and harder to comprehend the fact one day you won't be here. I won't - I don't know how I can live with you."
Magnus felt Alec tense but instead of saying anything, Alec hugged him tigher and Magnus knew he was trying to find words, was trying to stay in control because he knew that's what Magnus would need right now. Magnus let himself go slack in Alec's arms, finding some reassurance in the familiar hold.
"I can't promise anything except for the fact I'll love you with everything that I am for all my life, Magnus," Alec said softly, "You're so strong, Magnus. You're my Magnus. I know you'll be alright. You'll be okay."
Magnus wanted to protest but the amount of belief in Alec's voice nearly made him believe it. Alec carried on, "You light up every room you walk into. You lit up my whole life, Magnus. That's the kind of person you are. And whatever happens, you won't lose that part of you. I know you well enough to know that. You'll always be the person who makes any situation better. And if you don't lose that part of you, then you'll be okay, Magnus. You'll have all your friends, you'll have Max, and you'll have enough courage and light in you to fall in love again."
"I don't want to fall in love again," Magnus whispered, "You're... You're my love, Alexander."
"Shush," Alec whispered, "You have to promise me that you won't let yourself be alone. Remember what you told me when we got together after our breakup? That you're always going to open to being happy and sad, and being excited and falling in love? You have to keep that promise, okay?"
Magnus gave a shaky nod, "I love you so much, Alexander."
"As much as I love you," Alec returned, "You'll be okay. We'll be okay. We still have so much time. We still have to watch Max and Rafe grow up. Okay? We have all of that together."
"Yeah," Magnus choked on a sob, "All of that with you." Magnus didn't know if he was saying that to Alec or just trying to reassure himself.
"With me," Alec promised, "Sleep, my love. We can talk more tomorrow if you want to."
Magnus nodded, "Thank you for making everything better, Alec."
"I think that falls under the job description of 'husband'," Alec smiled.
"Mm," Magnus hummed, "You're the best husband."
"In your unbiased opinion," Alec added sarcastically, pulling Magnus closer.
"Exactly," Magnus said, hearing Alec's heartbeat again, "Good night, Alexander."
"Good night, love."
And Magnus slept to the lullaby of Alec's heartbeat, knowing that for many more years, that familiar heartbeat will be the music that loves his own heart so thoroughly.
***
When Alec was sure Magnus had fully succumbed to sleep, he scrambled out of bed, letting all his emotions out as he cried and heaved into the toilet bowl, on his knees as he felt a terrible sickening feeling rise within him.
He'd thought about this before, obviously, but he wasn't ready for that conversation, but he'd had to keep it together for Magnus.
But now, he let himself feel all his emotions - guilt, anger, pain, love - until his tears dried up.
That was when Alec fully accepted their situation, because he knew Magnus couldn't ever accept it. He had to accept it so that he could help Magnus through it. And he would do absolutely anything for his Magnus.
***
When the same conversation happened a few more times over their lives, Alec had always held Magnus in an unwavering grip, murmuring comfortingly to him, making him promise that he'd not lock his heart away. Magnus would always calm down after hearing Alec's heartbeat, knowing that somehow, inexplicably, Alec was wound into his own skin and soul, that when the inevitable happened, he'd still have the presence of Alexander flowing through his veins and embedded in his heart.
And at the end of the day, Magnus couldn't be anything but grateful to the world for giving him a love story as great as Alexander Lightwood.