Chapter Text
Misato woke up on a beach with a throbbing headache; she felt the sand on her palm, and the sound of calm waves resonated in her ears. How she had ended up there, she did not know, but she was there now. She was lying on her back, looking up at the blue sky. Only a few clouds adorned it, and the sun was shining straight in her face; she felt like she had gotten drunk, shot, run over by a truck, had a whole week of sex and finished a marathon all at the same time.
She tried to remember what had happened that caused her to feel like a dying roadkill, and thus, slowly, memories started to flood in. The Evas, SEELE, the attack on NERV, and…
"HOLY SHIT, SHINJI!"
Ignoring her horrible situation she immediately stood up, just to be welcomed by a familiar need to throw up, which she quickly did while collapsing on the ground.
Deciding that trying to stand up was not a good idea at the moment, she once again tried to recollect what had happened before she mysteriously woke up on a beach, God knew where.
She had to make Shinji pilot the Eva, but he didn't even have the will to live, so she had to tow him by force to the Eva cages and… another wave of puke spiked through her stomach, forcing her once again to throw up on the side. She was probably the most disgusting guardian that had ever lived. Trying to suppress her disgust towards herself and feeling slightly better from throwing up, she tried to sit up. She decided that first of all, she had to find Shinji and Asuka.
Oh god, Asuka! She had completely forgotten her until now. The last thing she remembered was hearing Asuka fight the JSSDF over the intercom and having to force Shinji into the cages; after that, she was completely ignorant of what had happened.
Wait a second. Right after bringing Shinji to the cages, Misato remembered that she had been shot and that she was bleeding out on the floor before everything turned to black, right before waking up on the beach. She knew perfectly well back then that she would be dead before Shinji finished the elevator ride, yet she was now alive and well, except for feeling like she had just come back from one of the parties she attended back in university.
She forced herself to sit and checked where she was shot; other than some bandages, she felt that there was no serious wound under them. But this created even more questions: who had treated her? Who had brought her to the beach? How was it possible that her fresh wounds were now healed up?
Her medical checkup was quickly forgotten when she looked up at the skyline, and her eyes focused on an enormous skull half-sunk in the sea.
She had no idea what it was, so she pinched her arm just in case she was dreaming. She didn't wake up. She had to accept that, somehow, an enormous skull now adorned the bay next to Tokyo-3. Was it the bay of Tokyo-3? Misato realised that she had no idea where exactly she was, so, trying to ignore the skull, she put her mind to work towards trying to stand. She tried to suppress the headache for a few minutes, then, feeling well enough to try to stand, she forced her aching body up and finally managed to get on her own two legs.
She slowly tried to take a few steps to regain her hold, and after just a few, she could walk rather decently. So, after quickly taking a look around, she spotted the mountains that adorned the Japanese coast and started walking towards them, in the hope of finding someone or something that could help her.
So, distracted by her thoughts and still looking at the skull, she didn't notice when she tripped over something. She sat up and looked at what she had tripped over; she had just walked straight into a wooden cross and pulled it out of the ground while falling. It looked like some graveyard. She sat up and decided to have at least the decency to put the crosses back up.
She lifted it in front of her and tried to see if there was a name written on it, but there was nothing, only a lonely rusty nail adorned the centre of the cross.
However, she didn't put the cross back in its place; instead, she let it fall to the ground, because something else caught her attention: she noticed that the sea was strangely a faint orange colour.
Even more confused, she kept walking, trying to ignore her aching body, throbbing headache, and odd situation, but when she passed the last dune and the outskirts of what she imagined was Tokyo-3 came into view, her odd situation became the most important thing: the city was in ruins.
Broken buildings stood, with shattered windows and ruined exteriors. Piles of crashed and abandoned cars lined the sides of the road, littering the main road she had found herself on. The asphalt was cracked, and plants grew everywhere, enveloping cars and buildings alike.
Leaving the beach and entering the main road, Misato felt completely disoriented. Thanks to a few road signs that still stood, she could tell that she was on the outskirts of Tokyo-3, yet she had no idea what had happened to the city. Sure, this particular part was not very well kept even before the Angels started attacking the city, but this was completely different, as if the city itself was completely abandoned for months, if not years. Even if people were evacuated after Armisael and kept away from the attack on NERV, surely the evacuation orders would have been revoked by the government by the time she had somehow found herself on the beach.
Thus, she kept walking towards the city centre and the NERV headquarters, in the hope of finding anyone. She heard a crow cawing, and her mind wandered to PenPen for a second; she had left him with Hikari when the city was evacuated. The girl was trustworthy enough to take care of her roommate, so she was sure he was at least doing well.
She walked for twenty or so minutes, thinking about everything she had seen that day, before her stomach started grumbling. When was the last time she ate something? It felt like years ago. Knowing that she wouldn't be able to reach the city centre without something in her stomach, she entered the first convenience store she saw, making a mental note to come back when everyone returned to the city from the evacuation to pay for what she'd taken.
Upon entering, she froze. Sure, this convenience store wasn't in a good part of the city, and the owner probably didn't keep it in very good order. Still, it seemed as if someone had looted it; open cans of soda lay strewn on the ground, crumpled bags littered the floor, and, most noticeably, a thick coat of dust covered everything.
The convenience store wasn't poorly kept; it was completely abandoned, yet, aside from the dust, the lack of electricity, and the litter on the ground, it looked as if someone had worked there before she woke up. The cash register was open with money in it, a half-smoked pack of cigarettes and a lighter on the counter that someone could have forgotten while restocking, and other signs that the convenience store was open were all there.
Her stomach rumble brought her back to the reality that she was quite hungry, so she decided to look through the aisles try in the hope of finding something to eat.
Wandering through the aisles and letting her eyes adjust to the dark, she noticed that the shelves where the medicines were usually kept were empty, and everything looked extremely discoloured, as if it had been sitting there for years.
Getting curious, she took a random pack of chips and tried to read the expiration date: "April 2016." All these packs had not yet expired, so it didn't make sense for them to be so discoloured. She started to wonder how much time had passed between her pushing Shinji in the elevator and when she woke up on the beach.
Her train of thought was interrupted by the sound of a car engine; it was faint, but she could tell it was getting closer, and thanks to her time in the military, she knew it was a Humvee. "Shit!" she sneered. Misato had completely forgotten; the JSSDF must be roaming the city still. And they were on a mission to kill everyone involved with NERV. She was such an idiot!
Misato prayed that they would pass by and move on towards the city centre. Thus, she decided to hide in the storeroom, praying to whatever God up there that the drivers didn't feel the need to get some disgusting chips and probably expired soda from this specific convenience store.
Unfortunately for Misato, it seemed like that's exactly what the Humvee driver wanted to do, the car engine getting closer and closer before being turned off in front of the store. Misato heard the car doors open, and a male voice saying, "I think whoever he was went inside. I'll go check, you go to the back and see if he went out from there."
Misato thought 'This is somehow the worst outcome of this entire situation.' Not only did she get found out by the JSSDF almost immediately, but she didn't even manage to find Shinji and Asuka, if they managed to use their Evas to escape.
But still, a faint flicker of hope lived in her that she could once again find the two kids and protect them from whatever the hell was going on; thus, she decided to at least try. She was ex-military and a major goddammit! She wouldn't go down without a fight.
And so she decided upon a simple plan (more like a desperate plan, but desperate times called for desperate measures). She would ambush the first one, hopefully managing to kill him or knock him unconscious, steal his weapon, and then turn on the second one. Of course, this plan required her to knock down two special forces soldiers trained in most forms of hand-to-hand combat, but she would try nevertheless.
Returning to the situation at hand, she heard the soldier enter the convenience store; she could tell he was not careful just by the way he walked. What an idiot. She heard him approach her hiding spot and mustered all the strength she had left and threw herself at him.
The first thing Misato thought after jumping him and struggling to pin him to the ground was: first, this guy was too skinny to be a soldier, followed by the realisation that this guy was not a soldier. These thoughts were interrupted by a voice that seemed strangely familiar. "Wait! Wait! Stop, I don't want to hurt you. I'm trying to help!" Misato froze and looked at the "soldier," who was staring back at her.
He was a tall man who was maybe in his 20s, with medium long hair and an unshaven stubble, dressed in a plain white shirt and a pair of military boots and pants; Misato thought that he looked eerily familiar for some reason, before getting interrupted by the man saying "M-Misato?!" in a tone of disbelief.
His face of utter shock was the last thing she saw before a loud CLANK on her head sent her into a dreamless sleep.
Misato slowly opened her eyes with a throbbing headache and her ears ringing. Looking around, she noticed a familiar ceiling. Was she at home? Was that all a dream? She initially thought she must have drunk too much yesterday and dreamed the whole damn thing, but moving her head around, she noticed that her room was strangely empty.
She was lying on a sleeping bag in the middle of the room. The room smelled like it hadn't been opened in a few months, and again, a thick layer of dust covered the floor. At this point, Misato was even more confused than before, especially when her ears stopped ringing, and she heard a voice coming from outside her room, in the kitchen.
"…ould have killed her!" a male voice said, clearly trying to keep his voice down as not to wake her; it was the voice of the man she had tried to assault before getting hit in the head; at least she knew that wasn't a dream.
"Oh come on, I didn't even hit her that hard. Plus she was attacking you, what was I supposed to do? Let her do as she pleases and kill you?" a female voice retorted.
"I know, but-" the man tried to answer.
"No buts! If instead of you it were me, would you have asked her gently to move, or would you have hit her in the head with a steel chair?"
"I would… have hit her…"
"See?! And don't worry, the worst thing that could happen is her becoming retarded. And if it's really her, her brain is already gone from all the beer she drank. It's not like she could be anyone else; I mean, how many old hags with purple hair have you seen in your life?" the woman asked smugly. Misato heard the man try to find some counterpoint, but the woman would interrupt him with the same smug tone. This back-and-forth went on for a while before Misato decided that she had to get some answers.
She tried to sit up, only to find that her arms and legs had been tied, so she settled for just sitting. "Hello? Is someone there? Can you please untie me? I won't attack you again, it was a misunderstanding!"
The conversation stopped. "Oh, she woke up! Good, then we can ask her directly!" Misato heard the woman speak, then approach the room. The door suddenly slammed open and a bright light shone in, temporarily blinding her.
"Well, good morning, whoever you are. I hope you slept well, but we have some pressing questions for you. We don't want to hurt you either, but the tying was just a safety measure." Misato blinked a few times before looking up and being greeted by a woman in her twenties, dressed in a loose white tank top, military boots, and military pants. But the thing she noticed most was the red hair she had; it wasn't very long, only reaching her shoulders, but she could recognise the colour anywhere; she looked like an adult version of…
"A-Asuka?!" she exclaimed.
"Good morning! So it's really you? Enjoyed the power nap? Whatever, now let's go." Before she could say anything, Misato was forcefully lifted like a sack of potatoes, moved to the kitchen, and put on a plastic chair. From her new position, and with her eyes now used to the light, she could see her captors better.
The man, whom she recognised from their little fight at the convenience store, was dressed exactly as she had last seen him, but currently she noticed his greyish-blue eyes, which looked familiar, and his dark tan. Looking at the woman, she noticed the same dark tan, her blue eyes and red hair, but most importantly, an impressive collection of scars all over her body and a white eyepatch over her right eye.
Suddenly, it all made sense. Tokyo-3 being abandoned, the convenience store, these two people looking weirdly familiar. Misato couldn't believe it; no, she did not want to believe it. "N-no, t-that's impossible," she said in the faintest voice. "Please, tell me this is all a dream…" She felt tears swell in her eyes.
The woman was sitting on a backwards-facing steel chair, arms crossed on the top rail, her head resting on them, and her companion was leaning against the wall, arms crossed as well.
"Please, I beg of you, tell me this is just a horrible nightmare, and that I'll wake up soon. This cannot be the truth!" Misato was now crying. "Please just tell me you two just happen to look like Shinji and Asuka…"
The man gave his companion a concerned look, then looked back at Misato. "I can't believe it…" he said, "So it is really you, Misato? After all this time…?"
"P-please, t-tell me this is not the truth, I beg you…" Misato felt the tears fall off her face. The man opened his mouth to say something, but he was interrupted by the woman.
"That's right, Misato, this is not a nightmare. We are Shinji and Asuka, and it has been seven years since the last time we saw each other; welcome back."
Misato was speechless. Her mouth went dry, her ears rang, and she stopped crying. "B-but… no… how did… what?"
"I know it's hard to believe, but that's the truth", Shinji said, looking at her. "I am Shinji Ikari, son of Yui Ikari and Gendo Ikari, NERV's commander. I was the Third Child and pilot of the Evangelion Unit 01. And she's Asuka Langley Soryu, daughter of Kyoko Zeppelin Soryu and John Langley. She was the Second Child and pilot of the Evangelion Unit 02."
"B-but…" Misato was completely speechless.
"You want more proof?" he asked. "The last time you saw me, you kissed me. We were right in front of the elevator to the cages. You were dying, and to push me to pilot the EVA you kissed me and told me we would do the rest after I came back. Is that enough proof?" Misato could not look him in the eyes, so she lowered her gaze.
"B-but what happened? How could seven years have passed? I know it was just yesterday, or at best a few days ago."
"Misato…" said Asuka softly, "The truth is… we failed. We couldn't stop Third Impact. In the end, the Human Instrumentality Project was successful. SEELE or whatever their name was— they won."
Misato's eyes shot up to meet Asuka's. She was toying with a clasp knife, trying to clean under a fingernail; she would fiddle with the knife for a bit and then take a look at what she had managed to dig out with a slightly annoyed look. Misato couldn't believe what she had just heard. "But then… how-"
"How are we here?" Asuka interrupted her, "Long story short, Shinji became God. And after first causing Instrumentality, he decided to reject it in the end, allowing humanity to return if they so wished. And-" Asuka looked at her wrist watch, "-until 2 hours ago, give or take, we thought that everyone who could return had already done so.
"You have been in Instrumentality for the past seven years, Misato. You're the first person in Japan, and probably the world, who has come back since around 2018, maybe even earlier."
"But how is that possible?" Misato asked.
"Honestly? We have no clue, and we stopped trying to find an answer a long time ago," Asuka retorted, slightly annoyed. "The point is that you somehow came back after all this time, which is not something anyone here expected. So-" Asuka stood up and walked towards her, flashing the knife. "I'm gonna have to kill you," she said in a stern tone.
"E-eh? w-what?" Misato froze in shock.
"Don't worry, I'm joking, Misato! Oh my god! Your expression was golden! I wish I had a camera to record it!" Misato watched Asuka laugh with gusto, shocked that she of all people had made such an idiotic joke.
"Now, let's free you from these restraints." Asuka quickly moved to cut the knots tying her. "You know, I have so many things to tell you. So many things have happened that I don't even know where to start." Misato stood up, massaging her sore wrists; then she noticed Shinji, who had a blank look on his face and was clenching his hand over and over again.
"Shinji…" Misato said, waking him up from his trance-like state.
"I-I need to get some air. I'll be outside if you need me, Asuka." Before Misato could say anything, he quickly walked to the door and exited the apartment.
"Shinji!" Misato tried to go after him.
"Wait a second, Misato," Asuka said. "Before you talk to him, I want to tell you a few things." Asuka stopped her in her tracks.
"But I need to talk to him! I need to explain to him!" Misato retorted.
"Don't worry. We both waited seven years, he can wait 10 minutes more," Asuka said in a now serious tone.
Misato looked at her, the happiness from before gone, eyes fixed on her. "During the battle against the JSSDF, I died, Misato. The scars on my body and-" she pointed at her eye patch "-this are proof of it; I was literally eaten alive by the mass-produced EVAS." For a second, Asuka looked away, as if she was embarrassed. "I imagine I was some human sacrifice for the ritual, but that's not the point. After Shinji rejected Instrumentality, I was the second person to return."
"At first, I tried to hate him. I had all the reasons for it after all." Misato understood that something had happened between Asuka and Shinji before Third Impact that she didn't know, but decided not to push for information at the moment. "But deep down, I knew I was forcing myself to do it after the first month or so. I'm not sure, we lost track of time. After the first week, we sat down and talked. Not that there was anyone else to talk with."
More than a month. Shinji and Asuka had survived alone in the world for more than a month, completely alone, Misato thought.
"I don't want to have this conversation without Shinji because it was between the two of us, and if you want to hear about it, he will be present too, but, long story short, we ironed out the biggest issues, and soon more people started to come back. It seemed like everything could go back to normal. Shinji held hope that you would come back too, even if you died. After all, you had quite a few things to talk about," she grinned. Misato felt her cheeks redden a little.
"I came back from the dead; why wouldn't you do the same? At first, he was in denial- no, we were in denial; every time we brought up your name after people started coming back, he would say you would reappear soon and go back to how it was before. That we would talk, and hug, and everything would be fine."
Asuka looked happy; she was probably remembering good memories. Misato wondered what had happened between the two during that time.
"With days passing by, we started to think that maybe you wouldn't come back, and Shinji started to get angry. At you, at the JSSDF, at the Angels, but mostly at himself. He thought that it was his fault. That if only he had done more, if he hadn't been depressed waiting to die under a stairwell, you would be alive and you would have come back. We had some pretty big fights back then; I didn't want him to go back to his old, sulking self. And even with all that happened, I still tended to go back to my old self as well."
Asuka's smile faded a bit.
"After that, we convinced ourselves that you had, in fact, returned somewhere. That somehow you were here, and we only had to wait or to go look for you in the masses of returnees hoarding the cities and villages; I think at that point we both had gone a little bit crazy." She forced a chuckle.
"Then winter came." Asuka's smile disappeared completely; her eyes filled with infinite sadness and misery for a second, then quickly returned to normal.
She straightened her posture: "We had to grow up and change quickly back then. We didn't have time nor willpower to think about sweet what ifs and act like children. After the winter, fewer and fewer people came back every day. First one or two a day, then once a week, then a month, and eventually nothing. No one else came back ever again. Until you at least."
Asuka shook her head, as if to wake up. "Well, that's it really. I know it's a lot, but I think you needed to know. Now, if you excuse me, I'll take a quick nap while you two discuss what happened back then. It was my turn to drive today, and I'm quite tired. Wake me up when you're finished, ok? Shinji is probably on the last floor, he likes to look at the sunset when we need to think or talk."
Leaving Misato in the kitchen, speechless and wanting to know more, she walked towards the living room, where Misato noticed two big military backpacks lying on the floor and two assault rifles, with accompanying ammo and sidearms. What exactly had happened in seven years that they had to go around armed like soldiers and drive a Humvee?
Misato decided she could ask them after her talk with Shinji; that was the most important thing now. She started walking towards the exit before Asuka yelled from the living room: "And Misato, don't forget, we aren't 14 years old anymore. Shinji is not the same person as seven years ago!"
Waiting a few seconds to see if Asuka had anything else to say and hearing only the sound of a sleeping bag being opened, Misato walked outside.
Misato walked up to the last floor. Shinji was nowhere to be seen, so she kept walking in the corridor, finally reaching the final apartment on that floor; it was the only one without a door. She walked in. It was an exact copy of hers a few floors down. She looked around until she noticed a figure sitting in a chair on the veranda. Mustering her courage, she walked outside.
"So you smoke now?"
Shinji didn't turn to look at her, instead keeping his gaze fixed on the setting sun. "I haven't touched them in months. Want one?"
He nodded at a discoloured red-and-white pack on a little plastic table in front of the chair. "No, not now. I was trying to stop," she replied.
"Oh, ok. I was too, until 10 minutes ago."
Silence fell.
"Uh, do you mind if I sit?"
"You're welcome."
Shinji pulled a chair from behind him and put it in front of his. Well, at least he does want to talk, Misato thought while sitting down.
A deafening silence fell on the veranda. "So, what did you want to talk about?" Shinji smoked one puff. "I'm ready to listen, Misato. I've been ready for the past seven years. So tell me."
"I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry for what I did back then- uh- and- uhm, about what happened the last time we saw each other— er, you know the kiss; I-I didn't mean it. I mean, what I said after that. I was desperate to make you pilot the EVA, to do anything really."
Misato found that the floor tiles had quite an interesting design.
"I couldn't stand seeing you like that, and I was dying, and I couldn't think of anything else- so uhm- yeah, sorry. I-I didn't mean to ruin the relationship we had."
It was probably the worst apology Misato had ever heard in her life.
Shinji stood up and walked towards the railing, smoking the last puff of his cigarette and flipping it off the balcony.
"I'm sorry, Misato. It can't be like that anymore. You can't waltz into my life after seven years, say you're sorry for what you did, and then live happily ever after. It's wishful thinking. I know that for you it was maybe a few hours ago, but for me it was seven years, Misato. Seven years. We had to live without you for seven years, surviving in this place. The first two years were spent fighting for every scrap of food we could find. That's a third of my entire life."
Shinji turned to look at her.
"What we had back then is gone."
Misato froze.
"But-" he said. Misato lifted her head to look at him, surprised; his face had calmed down. He took another cigarette from the pack, lit it up, and smoked a puff, looking at the sunset. "Even if we cannot go back to what we had before, I don't want- no, I can't hate you. When you attacked me in that convenience store, and I recognised you, I couldn't believe it but you looked exactly like you."
He stopped, and Misato saw his cheeks redden a little.
"And, uhm, Asuka told me you had a pretty big scar under your chest, so we- she checked." Misato felt her cheeks get slightly hotter as well. "When we understood that it was truly you, I was so happy. After all this time, you came back. For a second, I believed we could go back to what we were before."
He chuckled. "But then I remembered. We couldn't go back; too much time has passed. And I got angry. I got angry at myself for even believing a thing like that, that I realised that I didn't hate you, even if I should. So I came here." Shinji sighed while gesturing at the balcony.
"After all this time and the promise I made of not running away, I did it again. I didn't want to face you, but I knew I had to, and it made me angry. So angry." Shinji looked away, clearly thinking about what to say next.
"You know Shinji-"
Misato started talking; she didn't know where these words were coming from, but she said them anyway.
"Back then- well, back then for you- I thought that finding the truth- about the Second Impact, the Human Instrumentality Project, SEELE and the commander-"
Shinji frowned upon hearing of his father.
"-Well, for me, that was the most important thing in the world, finding the truth and exposing them to the world was the best way to protect you two. Spending night after night in the NERV's databases, hacking, trying to find anything really. But in reality, I just wanted a reason to get away, not to face my problems."
Misato felt hot tears running down her cheeks.
"I'm so pathetic, God. I-I ran away from every relationship I ever had. I ran away from Kaji, I ran away from Asuka, and I ran away from you. I took you two as my wards, but I couldn't even do my job properly. When you two needed me, I ran away, like I always do. And my 'heroic' quest for truth became the excuse for all the running, and without realising it, I had destroyed everything I loved, over and over again."
"I could hear Asuka crying in the bathroom, but I didn't even try to hold her. I didn't want to face her. After all, she always said she was an adult, so that was my excuse to not even try. And for that, she tried to kill herself. When Kaji died, I realised that our relationship really never amounted to anything, and it was my fault, because I kept pushing him away."
"When Rei died, and I saw you on the bed, I thought I could comfort you in the only way I knew. I offered my body to you, and then you rightfully rejected me."
Misato wiped her runny nose with the jacket's sleeve.
"After that, Kaji left me his information about everything truly going on behind SEELE. And so I used it to run away. When the JSSDF attacked NERV, I put comatose Asuka in the Eva to throw her at them. I went to get you, only to find you wanting to die. So I forced you to the cages, and then I got shot, but you wouldn't even look at me, so I-I…"
Misato broke down and put her face in her hands.
"God, I'm such a horrible person. I-I shouldn't even be next to you, I-" she felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked up and saw Shinji looking at her. He didn't look angry.
"That's enough, Misato."
"No! Shinji, I don't want you to forgive me. I don't deserve it! I don't deserve anything! I was a horrible person! I shouldn't even be here, next to you! I came back, and I will ruin everything again!"
"I remember now. I knew it was all fake, that something was off, and I needed to get out. But I didn't want to accept it! It was so good, the perfect life: Kaji and I, back in university, partying and drinking; the angels weren't there, second impact didn't happen. You two weren't even there; what an amazing guardian I am! Acting as if I care when, in my dream, I didn't even give you two a single thought. I was living my dream life while you two had to survive this place! I chose a lie over reality!"
"Yet you are here now."
Misato looked up at Shinji. He had kneeled next to her and looked at her with a serious face.
"W-what?" Misato asked.
"You are here now, aren't you? Even if you were living the sweetest lie possible, and you didn't want to come back, in the end, you did. Sure, it took a while, but you are here, you are alive, and no matter what, you can always try again."
Shinji stood up, turned away from her and looked again at the sunset.
"If I hadn't realised the truth during Instrumentality, I would have lived a horrible life, and that would have been it. I would have had no chance to at least try to fix anything; it would have all been over. All the people I had hurt, I wouldn't have been able to talk to them, to explain myself and apologise to them. There were relationships I'd destroyed that I would not have been able to try to repair."
Misato saw him look at his half-smoked cigarette before throwing it off the balcony, then he turned towards her with a confident smile.
"You can't ask me not to forgive you, because that's my choice, and I've already done it. True, we can't go back to before the Third Impact; too much has changed. But there is something you can do; you can try to give this life a second chance."
Shinji offered her his hand.
"Maybe it will work, or maybe not; maybe it will hurt, or maybe not. It took Asuka and me a long time to come to terms with it, but we managed; it wasn't easy for either of us, and probably won't be easy for you. But we did," he chuckled. "Or so I hope."
Misato wiped away the tears with her jacket sleeve and took his hand, just to be pulled into a surprise hug. Misato hadn't noticed how tall Shinji had become, but she felt her head only reach the top of his chest. He must have become taller than Kaji, maybe even his father.
"I missed you, Misato. You don't know how much."
Misato sniffed. "You know Shinji?"
"What is it?"
"Asuka is right," sniff, "you truly are the biggest idiot around." She pushed her head into his chest and started bawling.
Shinji chuckled. "Please don't start as well, I hear enough of that with Asuka."
Shinji waited until Misato stopped crying before slowly stopping the hug.
"So, do you want to eat something? We don't have much, but I'll try to put together something decent for the three of us."
Misato once again wiped her face with the sleeve of her jacket; she would have to clean it and Shinji's shirt as well, since they were covered in her snot.
"Sure, but you're going to have to tell me what happened between you and Asuka. I want all the saucy details," she winked, trying to regain composure.
Shinji groaned. "Not even one day back and you immediately start asking those types of questions again?"
Misato chuckled. "I feel like I haven't touched food in seven years. So you better treat me well this one time, alright? Come on now, your girlfriend is waiting."
Again, he groaned. "Yes, Misato." But while his cheeks blushed ever so slightly, he hadn’t denied her teasing remark about him and Asuka.
"Oh my, Shinji. Haven't you said anything? Finally, my wish has come true. You two are together!"
Misato saw him stop and become even redder, but then he chuckled and passed her.
"You know Misato? There are a lot of things you don't know yet; we'll explain over dinner. Now let's go."
Misato froze. Wait, he said that like-
"E-eh? W-what? H-hold on, Shinji, what do you mean by that?! Hey! Come back here! Don't run away!"
Shinji was already outside the door, having picked up the pace with a chuckle. Misato ran after him, peppering a laughing Shinji with questions, as they returned to their old apartment.