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Back to Ember Island since the day at Boiling Rock, it must be five or six years now. Mai can't remember. She has not admitted to herself that she doesn't care about it.
It's six years and three months.
Azula's face is still hunting her like nightmares. And every time she closes her eyes. She saw Azula. Every state of her since they know each other.
Right now Mai’s on the beach, where they deep talked before they went to burn Chan's house. Her head was on the sand before she put her hands under it. Look up at the sky, the light and the moon.
She was wondering where Azula was? Is she okay?
She doesn't even know if Azula's still alive or not. Mai took a deep sigh. She missed Azula but she never regretted what she did. For Mai, she loves to be side by side with Azula, but at the Boiling Rock it wasn't right. She doesn't want to see Azula get carried away by trying to kill her brother.
Azula has a secret side for her. Of course, Mai knows what Azula feels for her. Azula was soft and pouted at her when they were alone. That's cute.
But it's not only Azula that miscalculated. Mai either.
She took a deep breath.
Ridiculous.
Mai stands up, wiping dust and sand on her clothes and then walks towards Lo and Li's house now it's Zuko's. She hopes the quiet shores can soothe her mind when she sleeps.
And it was late at night. When she is already asleep. Some weird sounds come from the downside, like someone walking to this house and walking upstairs now. Her eyes snapped open. Her hand slipped under the pillow, gripping her knife, slipping quietly out of the bed and towards downstairs.
She followed the shadows. Moonlight, through that shadow, shows a hooded figure.
Mai reached them hand before she could stab them face, but when the hoodie fell back. Amber eyes looking up to her.
“Azula?” Mai's voice cracked. She looked down at her hand gripping on Azula's wrist.
She's so fucking damn thin right now. Her black hair longer. Even they both grown up ,Azula still shorter than Mai.
Azula's still beautiful for Mai.
But her strength is still strong. Azula struggles it hard to be free from Mai's grips. And then pushed Mai hard enough to make Mai slump back. Azula didn't fight. Even if she did, Mai won't fight back. But instead Azula turned back to the doorway. Ready to run away, but before Azula could run, Mai lunged towards and grabbed her wrist again.
“Azula! Wait!”
Azula's wrist under her grips is so thin, Mai can feel her bone. In another way, Mai's scared this time if she can break Azula. So she loses grip enough for not letting Azula go.
“Let. Me. Go.” Azula said, her voice raspy and cold. She still remains. No sign for fight.
Mai sees it as a good sign. Maybe? She cleared her throat before speaking. Her voice, unusually, is soft like talking with kids. And Azula hate it.
“It's past midnight now. Also it's freezing outside.” mean, please stay. Mai continued. “I won't tell anyone you were here. I swear.”
Azula stared at Mai for a second before she wiped her hand out of Mai's grips. Mai didn’t resist that. Azula walks through Mai by hitting her shoulder, but Azula is the one who slumps away. She goes to take a bath.
Long exhaled from Mai. She rubs her face. Azula is here. And she looks so fragile right now. Have a lot of questions she wants to ask Azula, but Mai shuts it.
Azula came back with some sleep clothes from this house. Of course there are many clothes here. Mai opens her mouth but before she can say any words. Azula walked past her and shut the bedroom door without saying another word.
Left Mai alone. She rubs her face again. Her left hand is still gripping her knife. Mai hit her own finger with it and it's hurt.
This is not a dream.
Mai goes back to her bedroom just to place her knife on her bed then goes back to the door that Azula's in. Her hand was in the air, about to grab the door knob.
Should I?
Everything feels like it's her one last chance. Mai doesn't know when she will see Azula again if the next morning comes and Azula is gone.
The door opens, shows Azula laying down with her long hair let down, turns her back to the door and she's already asleep. Mai can see that Azula looks so tired and exhausted.
Out of her mind. Mai slipped on the bed, behind Azula. To take the liberty to pull Azula hug in her embrace, tight. Azula stirred and flinched when she felt Mai's arms around her. It is going down to hold her waist.
“Get the fuck off of me.” Azula struggles against Mai’s grip. Her elbow hit Mai's ribs. “Don't pretend we're good. I'm just too tired to fight with you.”
“I don't want to fight.” Mai burying her face in Azula's hair. Took a deep breath. The smell she missed for six years. “I miss you.”
Azula didn’t say any words. Instead she hit Mai with her elbow again. So Mai kisses Azula's neck. It makes Azula has goosebumps. Then she struggles more violently. Hitting Mai again.
The kiss was on her neck then moved to her ear. Mai’s hand started to roam over her body. That makes it clear to Mai. Azula hasn't eaten enough before. Her hand moved up, close to Azula's chest. Other hand lower on her belly.
“Stop—” Azula's voice cracked. Unshed tears that couldn't let Mai see. “You're stupid selfish..”
Mai stopped. She freezing. Knowing she just got carried away.
“Sorry. I'm sorry.”
She was wrong.
Now Mai regretted what she did.
Her disrespect was so loud.
“I'm sorry.” Mai said it again. But Azula didn't say anything. “Azula—”
“Just let me sleep.”
“...You're right.” Mai pause. “I'm sorry.” She said it again. “But.. Can I?” Her hands now around Azula's waist. Hug slightly.
Azula didn’t answer. So, Mai thinks the answer is YES.
They stay all night long.
Until the sunrise through her face. The bed was empty, only Mai here.
Azula gone.
Mai sitting with her knees pulled up to her chest.
“Fuck..”
She's so fucked up.