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To get another chance in life is rare.
Ymir would have not believed it about almost 60 years ago, before she was forced to impersonate someone she wasn’t, for lying to herself , to get another chance ever again.
It was strange.
Having roamed the world in her Titan form for so long, desperately running away from her crimes and regrets.
To finally awaken again as a human being, in the middle of nowhere, with a bright, beautiful night sky above her connecting to one single point.
At that time, Ymir promised to live honest and true to herself. Unfortunately for her, that didn’t stick around for long, after she overheard a conversation at the church she sneaked into.
It was about a girl, who now has to go under the name Krista Lenz. A girl who needs to pretend to be someone else to stay alive and is required to keep a low profile.
How the brunette wished to not have overheard this conversation.
Her curiosity about the other young girl’s well being and the position she must be in, fooled her better judgment.
The papers to enlist herself into the military, were signed without another thought and finding this Krista Lenz girl was easier than she expected.
Maybe it’s because she also pretended to be someone else, but it’s obvious to Ymir that this nice girl persona is completely made up and too forced.
She remembers her own made up life in the past whenever she’s looking at the blonde girl.
Regardless, of her own decision to find out and get to know about Krista’s situation , by joining the 104th cadet corps, Ymir decided to only observe Krista up close at first, instead of engaging with her immediately.
After all, there wasn’t any point to strike a conversation about her pretends without any clear evidence.
It didn’t take long though, for something note worthy to happen. Krista, as Ymir already concluded herself, is acting overly too nice.
That potato girl, was running around all day without any food to consume, as a form of punishment for this mornings scandal.
While another fight was happening at the dining hall, Krista secretly wrapped one piece of bread into a towel and took a bottle of water with her before heading outside.
The similarity of their situation is overwhelming obvious to Ymir.
Sasha was obviously delighted to finally be able to eat something again and was grateful for Kristas selfless act.
Ymir, called it out immediately and even though Krista may not have denied her accusation , her own silence spoke enough volume for it.
After only a few weeks , both of them sticked around close to each other whenever it was possible.
It feels nice in a way, to share the same experience and struggles with someone else. Their bound is strongly build over mutual understanding and acknowledgment to something deeper, which no one else could understand.
Observations turned into admiring the blonde girl from another perspective.
Ymir didn’t fail to notice it either. Instead of refusing Kristas requests, like she does to most of the other cadets pleading wishes, Ymir agrees immediately without a lot of hesitation.
More often than not, she would like to have approached different ways to certain situations herself and yet she always decides to just do what Krista wanted instead.
She was not following her own instructions to be selfish.
That’s why, she pushed Krista into a snowy pit after they argued about how to handle Daz’s unconscious condition during their training exercise at the snowy mountain.
Krista was dragging him in wrapped up clothes, up till now, which is why they both were moving slower in the blizzard.
Ymir told her that she would get Daz safely back to camp before pushing her down into the snow pit and told her, to just get back to camp safely on her own.
After Krista managed to resurface out of the snow, Ymir and Daz were gone.
The brunette girl was the first to arrive back at the camp side. Some scouts were already outside, prepared to go out and rescue Krista themselves, until they noticed Ymir.
She tells them that Krista is right behind her and that they should worry about Daz’s condition instead.
So they all returned back inside except for her. Her worry about Kristas safety made her sit outside in silence, waiting for her save return.
Why did she risk her own safety for the younger girls wish to save their comrade?
If anyone had noticed that lighting or if Daz had woken up during her transformation she would have been screwed.
Moreover, why was she willing to leave the blonde girl alone at this kinda blizzard just like that ?
If anything where to happen to Krista, she wouldn’t know if she could ever forgive herself.
Fortunately, she was able to make out a silhouette from not so far away now. It must be Krista and Ymir let’s out a sigh in relief at the knowledge of her safety.
The older girl doesn’t jump up right away to get to Krista, even though she was itching to do just that. Ymir pretends like she doesn’t care enough, but Krista knows better anyways.
“Took you long enough. I got here before you and I was just beginning to believe that you finally ditched the survey corps for good and run away.”
“Where is he, Ymir? Did you push him off the cliff and just went ahead alone?” Krista was freezing but she was still a little bit furious about Ymir’s behaviour.
“He is fine. How are you holding up?” Krista only responded to that with a nod and a short I am fine.
They both stayed quiet for a while until Ymir spoke up again.
“I think I can trust you. Promise me. When I reveal my secret to everyone, promise me. Take back your old name and live.
The sun was starting to set again behind them, but neither of them broke the intense eye contact. Ymir observed Krista for any discomfort or hesitation before she answers. The tall girl knows firsthand how hard it is to give up a role you were forced into.
Still, she now knows that it’s stupid to follow after the expectations of others than you can’t truly be yourself.
That’s why she doesn’t want the shorter girl to fall victim, to the same cage she used to be in. It’s not fair for her to pretend to be somebody she isn’t.
Nobody owns anybody anything.
“I promise.”
Ymir nods in satisfaction as she steps one step closer to gaze at Krista clearly and wordlessly places a quick,short kiss on her forehead, before she takes a step back.
“That’s good to hear. We should head back inside the camp, if we want to catch some sleep before our next training session starts.” The brunette grabbed the younger ones hand gently and walked towards the girls cabin with her.
It was another hectic morning of drills after drills at the 104th cadet corps training grounds. Instructor Shadis was a pain in the ass sometimes, but today he seems to have woken up better than usual. All cadets have the permission to get a two hours rest before the next exercise begins.
While most of the cadets took the opportunity to take a nap, read a book or write a letter to a friend or a family member, Ymir and Krista were taking a stroll together nearby.
Anyone who has working eyes can see how close the two girls are with one another. Everybody, but one Reiner Braun apparently, to Ymir’s disappointment.
In fact, Ymir gets lost quite a lot inside her own thoughts, whenever Krista tries to fill in the silence forcefully. Just like right now. It just doesn’t fit her at all.
It’s strange and it kind of annoys Ymir too sometimes, because she doesn’t want anyone else to force themselves to be someone they clearly aren’t.
“I told you that there is no need to act around me whenever we are alone.”
Since Krista doesn’t see the need to respond, the other girl continues.
“I mean why are you insisting on keeping that fake persona act around me? Afraid that I would hate the real you? Are you ashamed, that your true self will never life up to Kristas charming,selfless self?” Adding fuel to the fire seems to be one of Ymir’s many specialty’s.
Krista stays silent for only a few more moments before furrowing her eyebrows, just like she does whenever Ymir tells bluntly, brutal truths around other people.
“I am not afraid-“
“You sure you aren’t?” Ymir cuts her off with a wide grin. “You aren’t giving me anything to debunk my own statement.”
A staring contest began in silence yet again and it only ends after Krista huffs in defeat.
“It’s Historia for you, if you need to know.” Krista didn’t elaborate more on that or what she means with that.
“Historia? How exactly should I interpret this?” Ymir steps into Kristas personal space to memories every little change on her expression.
“My real name. It’s Historia Reiss. It’s only for you though to call me this now and it’s important you won’t use it in front of anyone else either . I trust you, Ymir. Please promise me that you won’t tell anybody about it.” Historia’s facial expression changed into uncertainty and nervousness as she try’s not to avoid eye contact now.
A smile ensures on Ymir’s face as she took in this new information. At first she didn’t move an inch and in the next second their foreheads collided, as Ymir looks deep into the girls ocean blue eyes. How she loves this shade of blue. How she loves Krista’s Historia’s eyes.
“I haven’t told anybody anything yet and I won’t ever plan on ratting you out either. Unfortunately for you, you are stuck with me now and I promise your secret is safe with me, Historia.” Ymir starts off, as one of her hands reaches Historia’s cheek in a comfortable manner, while the other one embraces their hands together.
“It suits you.”
Ymir finishes off by colliding their lips gently together. It wasn’t anything rushed or intense. It was appreciation and honesty flooding this moment. They stayed in that position for quite a while, without uttering any other words. It wasn’t necessarily after all.
It is a beginning.
A start to embrace each other as their individual, truest self. To accept the events that shaped them and to now go against anything that forces them back into cages.
It is never easy to walk an uncertain path full of obstacles. Acceptance will always be more difficult to obtain than hatred. Especially if your biggest opponent is you, yourself.
Historia revealing her own name is already one step forward to self acceptance and with Ymir by her side, it shouldn’t take long for her to live for herself again.
Just like it shouldn’t take much longer for Ymir, to live for herself too either.