Chapter Text
Dazai wakes up at 5:27 p.m. for the sixth time this week. God, he should really stop doing that, but what would it help? Even Dazai thinks it's better this way. At least when he's asleep, he isn't thinking. He isn't eating, either. And maybe, just maybe, he can find some peace from the world and stop thinking about everything all the time.
Sometimes it's all just too much for him. Who could blame him? Life is hard for everyone, so why would he be spared from this hell of a world?
“Ughhh... I have to get up already."
Dazai says as he tries to turn off his phone alarm. It slips, falls off the table, and hits the ground hard.
“God damn it..."
He mutters.
He finally forces himself up and starts walking down the stairs.
Ogai Mori, Dazai’s father, sees Dazai coming down the stairs just as he is making his third coffee of the day.
“I see you're finally up after wasting half your day by sleeping it away.”
Mori is a fairly tall man with black hair, normally seen wearing a sharp suit. But for once, he is wearing a T-shirt with a little duck on it and blue pants. Dazai grins and chuckles.
“Oh? And what the hell are you wearing? Maybe work on your fashion taste first before you talk about my sleeping habits.”
He walks over, grabs a glass, and fills it with water from the fridge.
“Dazai, get ready for dinner. We are having company."
Mori says as he cuts fruit.
Dazai goes back upstairs and heads into the bathroom.
God, I need to take a shower.”
He mutters as he looks at himself in the mirror.
He starts to undress, trying his hardest not to look in the glass so he won't see the body he hates so unconditionally at times or the many scars left by himself and others.
But yet, once again, Dazai hadn't stopped. He had relapsed just last night, so he knew exactly how much this would hurt—how the hot water would feel as it seeped into the fresh cuts he hadn't cleaned well enough.
It wasn't like Dazai had anyone to do it for him. But of course, who would want to be with him? Who would clean him up when he most needed it? Who would be there to tell him it’s okay when it’s really not? Who would be there for his darkest moments when he most wants to end it all? Nobody. Nobody would be there, because who would want to do that for a person as horrible as Dazai—or at least, the person he believed himself to be?
The brunette steps into the water. The burning sets in, gradually seeping into his cuts until he can't take it anymore.
“S-shit. I-I can't do this.”
He quickly steps out of the shower, still avoiding the mirror, his head hanging as he stares at the ground.
“I'll just get dressed. I believe dinner is soon anyway.”
Dazai goes back to his room to change, wrapped in a towel since he hadn't thought to grab any clothes beforehand. He reaches out to open the door, but... hm. The door is already open. Dazai never leaves his door open, not even a little.
“AHHHH!!!! WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?!”
Dazai jumps back, almost dropping his towel as he screams at nearly the top of his lungs. He stares at the short, ginger-haired man standing in his room, looking around at his desk.
“Oh, uhm. Your dad told me to come get you for dinner.”
The ginger-haired man looks down as he speaks, trying not to stare at Dazai in a towel. After all, he had barged into his room while he was planning to change.
“I take it you're Dazai? I'm sorry to barge in. I-I can leave.”
“Oh. I'm sorry. I just thought you were a stranger. I am Dazai, though. And you are?”
Dazai doesn't entirely mind the sight of the short man in his room, and he wonders how his dad knows him.
“My name is Nakahara Chuuya. I'm your dad's coworker's kid.”
Chuuya finally looks up and makes eye contact with Dazai. He stands up a bit straighter, even though it doesn't make him look much taller.
“Oh, that makes sense. But, uh, can you get out so I can change?”
The ginger looks Dazai up and down. “Oh, shit. I'm sorry. Yeah, of course.”
Dazai watches as the short man leaves his room. Huh. Maybe, just maybe, I could get used to this. Maybe he had somehow taken a liking to this boy in just a matter of minutes. But oh well, he needed to change now.
Dazai throws on a T-shirt, a zip-up hoodie, and some joggers. After all, how was he supposed to know what to wear? Mori never told him. His dad could be as mad as he wanted if Dazai turned out to be underdressed.
The brunette heads back downstairs. He quickly spots Mori, a lady who he assumes is Chuuya's mom, Chuuya himself, and someone who looks like the ginger's sibling.
“So, why are we having a dinner that feels like a cult gathering? You never host dinners here, let alone while wearing a T-shirt.”
Dazai stands at the dining room entrance, staring at Mori, waiting impatiently for a response. But for one full minute, silence fills the room.
“Dazai, can you please just sit down?" Mori says finally. "I just had some things that I wanted to tell you and Chuuya here.”
Dazai scoffs, “Fine, but make it quick." "I'm not hungry; I'm just tired and want to go to bed."
“So Dazai, I think you have already met him from upstairs, but this is Chuuya, and Chuuya’s dad just died, so his mother wanted him to stay with us for a while since she is working long hours and isn't doing well with money and won’t be home, and she thought he would be better with some company for a while.”
“I'm sorry but WHAT. Where is he even going to stay? We don't have a guest room, and last time I checked, I don't want to sleep on the couch again.” Dazai says in a slightly annoyed way to Mori.
"His mother and I talked, and he can sleep in your room with you until his mother says it's fit for him to come back home.”
Chuuya butts into the conversation in an aggravated tone. "MOM. I never agreed to this. I don't want to stay here; I'm doing just fine at our house. In MY own bed.”
Dazai looks down at the food on his plate as he pushes it around, starving but not wanting to eat any of it. He instead takes a big sip of his water as he gets up and pushes in his chair.
“You know what? Fine, but I'm going to bed and he will not be waking me up so he can sleep now.”
Dazai grabs Chuuya's hand as he drags him upstairs to his room, and he throws the ginger on his bed. His room is quite big, and he has many things from books to sex toys. Chuuya accidentally found it in his drawer when looking for a hair tie, but Dazai doesn’t need to know he knows about that.
“So let’s set song things straight shortly. First off, I stay up really late and sleep in until like 5 pm sometimes, so please don’t wake me up. Also, I need to sleep in the cold, so you need to be ok with that. Ooo, and I like to keep my stuff usually in a certain way, so don’t mess it all up even if it’s all messy to you because some of it isn’t for me.”
“I-I, ok, yeah, of course, it’s your room after all, Dazai. Whatever you want is 100% alright with me.
It's good, good. Now can you get up? I want to lie down and read. I don’t care what you do; just leave me alone.”
Chuuya gets up from where Dazai threw him on the bed and goes to sit down on the other side of the bed, hoping that he won't be in the way there.
Dazai starts to read as he randomly remembers how he forgot to change his bandages after his shower and how he cut so deeply that he really, really needed to change them after only a couple of hours.
"I-I... uhm, shit, Chuuya. I'll be back; just stay here, okay?”
Y-yeah, yeah, of course, Dazai!”
Dazai speed walks to the bathroom as he quickly starts to take his bandages off his arms.
“Shit, shit, S-shit... Why do I keep doing this? God, it hurts.”
Dazai looks at the deep cuts on his arms, wishing that maybe he could have not done it again for once.
Chuuya gets up from the bed, wondering why Dazai is taking so long and what could have been so urgent to do it this late. Chuuya walks over to the bathroom and pushes open the door and looks at Dazai.
"Dazai, what are y-… I-are you okay?"
Dazai scrambles to cover his arms with the old bandages from his arms as Chuuya opens the door. Dazai jumps back because he is frightened by Chuuya's coming in so suddenly.
"I-i... Dazai can't find the words to say anything; his throat is so dry all of a sudden. I can't even breathe. All he can do is stand there as he feels the tears start to fall after a long minute of Chuuya staring at him.
“I-I y-you weren't supposed to see this. Nobody was supposed to see me like this..."
Chuuya runs up to Dazai, hugging him so he can let it all out since Chuuya can tell that he is holding onto a lot of things right now.
“Hey Dazai... It's ok, alright? You can let it all out. I'm here for you, I promise.“
Tears start to flow from the brown-haired boy's eyes as he grabs onto Chuuya tighter than he would ever like to admit. Chuuya shoves Dazai’s head in his scent glands, hoping it will calm him down at least a little bit.
After about 10 minutes Dazai finally calmed down and stopped crying, but he is still clinging onto Chuuya like his life depends on it.
“Give me your arms, Dazai.”
“W-what? Why…?"
"Well, somebody has to bandage you up so it heals well and doesn’t get infected.”
Dazai looks up into Chuuya's eyes, not saying anything but just staring at him as he slowly and reluctantly shows Chuuya his arms. Chuuya grabs fresh bandages from the bathroom counter and starts to bandage Dazai's arms. Dazai quickly winces in pain as he starts to wrap it around his arms.
“What is it? Did I hurt you...? I’m sorry.”
“No, no, I just hurts, ok. It’s not your fault.”
Quickly the ginger finishes bandaging him, and he stands up, waiting for Dazai to do as well. They both stand up and start to walk back to Dazai’s room.
Chuuya sits down on Dazai’s bed and signals for Dazai to lie down as well.
“Hey Dazai?”
“What is it, Chuuya?
“Are you sure you really don't care that I'm kinda living with you? I get you kind of didn't like it by your instant response, but is it really ok that I am? And that I'm sleeping in your bed?”
Dazai’s head falls to the side, landing on Chuuya, due to the fact that he fell asleep midway through Chuuya's sentence.
“Heh. Good night, I guess, then, Dazai.”
Chuuya whispers as he lies fully down with Dazai's head still resting on his shoulder. The tall brunette's asleep body moves, wrapping his arms around Chuuya's waist and the rest of his short body. Chuuya stares at the ceiling, wondering when he will get to go back to his house, but he also thinks about how this for a while just might be okay.