Allison: Strategy meeting? We mostly just get together to play Risk.
Stiles: Risk is important practice for honing our strategic minds.
Lydia: I agree. If you think of the high school as Australia, and the preserve as Asia…
Allison: Yeah, yeah. I’ve heard it before. I just think it’s silly. You have to go through Asia to get anywhere after you build up in Indonesia. so we always end up in the preserve anyway.
Stiles: It’s not a…perfect metaphor.
Lydia: Anyway. Today we have to actually talk about important werewolf things. Namely, the next game of Capture the Flag on Saturday.
Stiles: We cannot lose again, guys. I mean it. I don’t care if they have superior senses. They spend all their free time bashing their abs against trees!
Lydia: We need to use their senses against them. Let’s start with smell, since that’s what they beat us with last time.
Stiles: What smells distract them the most?
Allison: I mean, anything. The last time Scott and I were having sex, he stopped halfway through because his mom was baking brownies. He almost forgot to put on his pants.
Stiles: Brilliant! Baked goods!
Lydia: I make a killer creme brûlée. Will that work?
*early that Saturday*
Stiles: I set up the last of the lemon squares. How are you doing with the triple berry chocolate mousse?
Lydia: It’s all set. Allison?
Allison: I have two more traps to set on the cherry cheesecake, but I can do that on the way back to the house. Move over a bit so I can set the tripwire for this strudel spread?
Stiles: Of course. Oh, I also brought some short range defensive weapons in case they get through the deliciously deadly blockade. Here. We each get four cans. Just in case.
Lydia: Whipped cream?
Stiles: They have to stop and lick off its delicious goodness, giving us time to get away. Plus, it has the added bonus of being hilarious.
Lydia: Sounds good to me.
Stiles: Oh, Allison, did you set up those long range traps I asked for?
Allison: The plain trip wires by the perimeter? Yeah. But I doubt they’ll get that far.
Stiles: I have the feeling that one of them may be less susceptible to sugary goodness and the happiness it can provide. Or any other positive emotions. It’s good to be prepared.
*some time later*
Derek: You can’t trick me with your sugary baked goods, Stiles! The rest of my pack may have fallen for your delicious ruse, but I cannot be taken in by such shallow….is that dark chocolate I smell? Must….follow….
Stiles: Ha! That’s right. I knew you wouldn’t be distracted by ordinary pastries and sweets. But how could you resist the smell of dark chocolate and its unflinching, shadowy exterior masking the bitterness within?
Derek: Damn you and your diabolical ways! I will get you yet!
*elsewhere*
Allison: Tell me where your flag is, and I’ll let you down.
Scott: You don’t have to let me down! Just let me eat one more brownie! Please?
Allison: One brownie? And you’ll tell me where your flag is?
Scott: Yeah, yeah, whatever. It’s in Peter’s underwear drawer. Now, can I have some more rich chocolatey goodness? Pleeeeeaaaase?
…
Allison: I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU GAVE UP YOUR FLAG FOR ONE BROWNIE! ARE YOU KIDDING ME? THIS WHOLE TOWN RELIES ON YOU TO…
*back to Stiles and Derek*
Derek: Stiles! I know you’re there! You can’t just leave me tied up here forever! Come out or I will find you and rip your—
*thbuuuuuuugth*
Derek: DID YOU JUST SPRAY WHIPPED CREAM IN MY EYES? YOU LITTLE….WHAT IS THIS TASTE? IS THIS WHAT HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE? STILES?!?
*a different elsewhere*
Lydia: Now that I have you all at my mercy, whatever shall I do with you?
Erica: Torture us for information!
Boyd: Ooo! Yes! By licking cheesecake off our—
Isaac: And mousse! There was mousse by Erica’s tree. Right by the left leg cuff?
Lydia: And how do you feel about whipped cream?
Erica: We will never tell you the location of the treasure!
Lydia: Flag.
Erica: Yeah. Flag. Whatever. Do your worst!
Isaac: Yeah! The very worst you can do!
Boyd: START WITH ME!
*Aaand back to Sterek. Derek has been let out of his bonds, but shows no sign of interest in flag-finding.*
Stiles: I think you missed a bit right over here…
Derek: Oh! Let me just…mmmmm.
Stiles: That’s the last of it.
Derek: All four cans?
Stiles: I’m afraid so. But I do have this bottle of chocolate sauce. Interested?
Derek: Yes!
Stiles: We have time?
Derek: Lydia is just getting into some master/slave roleplay. And Allison is still lecturing Scott on not giving up important information for less than a full tray of brownies.
Stiles: And the wolves are all still secure?
Derek: No one else has gotten out. I doubt they’ll be a problem. I’m impressed by Team Human’s resourcefullness. And baking skills.
Stiles: You know that’s right.
Derek: And, more importantly, I’d say we’ve got plenty of time for another round before one of your girls gets to the flag.
Stiles: Cool. Well. What are you waiting for? Get licking.