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Spend The Rest Of My Life With What Could Have Been

Summary:

It had been seven hundred and thirty-nine days since Alex Romero’s life had been turned upside down. Since he’d lost his job, his wife, his freedom. His entire life had been ruined on the 20th December 2016. It seemed like the hits just kept on coming, he’d argued with Norma, then he’d been too late to save her from carbon monoxide poisoning and he’d lost her, then he’d been arrested for perjury and sentenced to jail. He’d been staring at the only picture he had with Norma and one of the few remaining ones of him and his mother, with no contact with the outside world because who would he call?

****

Alex gets out of prison and just wants to find Norma's grave so he can tell her how much he misses her. The phone call to Dylan doesn't go to plan.

Notes:

This was originally meant to be a one-shot, but then it spiralled out of control, and I just kept writing it and now it's multiple chapters.
It's all pre-written and I experienced a range of emotions whilst writing it so good luck to you whilst reading.
I also haven't rewatched anything past 4x08 since the first time I watched the show, and I refuse to google season 5 because it doesn't exist in my mind, so creative liberties were taken.
Anyways, hope you enjoy!!!!

Chapter Text

Seven hundred and thirty-nine days.

It had been seven hundred and thirty-nine days since Alex Romero’s life had been turned upside down. Since he’d lost his job, his wife, his freedom. His entire life had been ruined on the 20th December 2016. It seemed like the hits just kept on coming, he’d argued with Norma, then he’d been too late to save her from carbon monoxide poisoning and he’d lost her, then he’d been arrested for perjury and sentenced to jail.

For the last seven hundred and thirty-nine days, he’d been stuck in prison, staring at the only picture he had with Norma and one of the few remaining ones of him and his mother, with no contact with the outside world because who would he call? Until now, where he was finally being released after two years in prison. A part of him wished he could stay inside, at least there he had three square meals a day and didn’t have to start thinking about properly facing a life without Norma. But no, that couldn’t happen.

Because now, he was outside, standing on the other side of the prison walls for the first time in two years. He didn’t know what to do with himself right now, he had no job, no one to go home to, no one to speak to. The only person he wanted to speak to was Norma, and the only way to speak to her was to sit at her grave.

He nodded to himself. That’s what he should do. Go and sit with his wife, explain everything to her, maybe leave her wedding ring there for her. No, he wasn’t going to do that. Her wedding ring had been the only thing keeping him going, and now it was tucked into his front pocket, close to his heart.

He didn’t remember how long it took him to get to the cemetery, but he had no interest in calling a cab or even trying to find a car. Thankfully, White Pine Bay was relatively small and even if it wasn’t, the walking would be a pretty good distraction. He found himself at the gates of the cemetery, already wondering how long it would take for him to find Norma’s grave. It would be relatively new looking still, he hoped. So that would make it easier.

Or so he thought.

It was easier said than done, apparently, trying to find a grave when he had no idea where Norma was buried. Or whether she’d even been buried. Maybe Dylan and Emma had cremated her. Then he really would have no way of speaking to her. After fifteen minutes of searching he gave up, sliding down against a tree in defeat. He didn’t want to do this, not if Dylan and Norma hadn’t fixed their relationship, but all he wanted was to find out where his wife was. So calling Dylan was the only logical.

He pulled out his phone and quickly found Dylan’s number, trying not to let his eyes linger on Norma’s contact name, accompanied by a red heart she’d put there herself. He pressed Dylan’s contact and waited with bated breath for Dylan to answer.

“Hello?”

“Massett, it’s Romero.” Alex said shakily, not entirely sure why he was so nervous. What if he didn’t remember him? Or worse, blamed him for Norma’s death.

There was a sharp intake of breath on the other end of the line. “What do you want?” Dylan sounded hostile and if he was a cat he’d have his hackles raised.

Well, that wasn’t what he was expecting. “I just… I wanted to know about-”

“It’s been two years, Romero.” Dylan snapped and he sounded so much like Norma when she was angry. “And you’ve finally decided to contact us now?” He hissed.

Us? Who the hell was us?

“Dylan-”

“No! Stay away from us, Romero.” Dylan snarled before hanging up.

Alex stared at the grass in front of him when he heard silence on the other side of the line. He dropped his head back against the tree and squeezed his eyes shut, trying his hardest not to cry. He didn’t know what he’d done to anger Dylan so much, but he decided there was no point in trying to contact Dylan again. He would have to grieve Norma alone, just like everything else in his life.

****

“Who was that, hon?”

“Romero.”

“What?”

“Yeah, Romero. I hung up on him, I’ve no desire to hear what he has to say.”

“Oh.”