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The last thing they saw was the other’s smile, pained and bright, eyes full of tears and gentle devotion.
Their corporations dissolved into dust, and all color faded to nothing.
“The end,” was Crowley’s last thought, in sad acceptance. “Could have… could have been longer, could have… wish we could have had more time, Angel, wish we could have been more selfish and just for once, get what we wanted to bad, since… since when? I have loved you since the dawn of life, since the birth of the stars, and I know you did too. Love me, I mean. I wish… we didn’t have to think of, of– everyone else. Wish we could have allowed ourselves space for us. Just us, was all I ever wanted for so long. Don’t even know how—- hold on, wasn’t I erased?”
Quiet.
“I’m still thinking, aren’t I.”
Nothing.
“Fucking hell, I’m still thinking!! I still exist!!”
Pause.
“Angel!! Angel!! You’re still out there, aren’t you?? Aren’t you?? I can feel you!! I, I, I, I– I can feel your presence!! Angel! Talk to me!”
“Crowley?”
“Angel!! Hi!! It’s– I, I’m here!!”
“Can’t see you.”
“But you can hear me, right?”
“Apparently. Don’t know how, I don’t seem to have a body.
Neither do you, I’m guessing.”
“Yeah, no, that one… that one went up in… bits.”
“How do I know you’re really here?”
“...what do you mean? I’m here.”
“How do I know you’re not my imagination?
Or, how do you know I’m not in your imagination?”
Realization.
“I don’t.”
“What do we do, then?”
Silence.
“I don’t know.”
“Don’t think I’ve ever been here before…”
“What is this place?”
“I’m not sure it would qualify as a place, if there’s no matter.”
“That’s just semantics, Angel.”
“No, no, I rather think… this is a Nowhere.”
“A Nowhere?”
“Yes.”
Silence.
“That… that– yah, makes sense. A bit.”
“Can you see anything?”
“No. Can you?”
“Not a thing. Not even… a color.
It’s neither dark nor bright, it’s just… not.”
“Yeah. If nothing were a color, this would be it.”
“It’s not funny!!”
“Didn’t say it was!!”
“You’re snickering!”
“Doesn’t mean it’s funny!”
Silence.
“Crowley… what do we do?”
Pause.
“I dunno, Angel.”
Quiet.
“Do you think we’re ghosts?”
“Well you’re certainly haunting me…”
“Be serious, Crowley!”
“I don’t know, Angel! Give me…. time!! I need time to think!!”
“...okay. Take your time, then.”
“Aw, no, come on, don’t get upset.”
“...”
“Angel?”
“I’m giving you time.”
“Really?? You wanna get petty now??”
“I’m not being petty.”
“You are.”
“You can’t even see me!”
“I know your petty voice, Aziraphale, and it is it.”
Silence.
“I’m hungry.”
“You don’t even have a body! How could you be hungry?”
“Well, it’s… psychological.”
“Can you have psychological hunger without a brain?”
“Apparently, yes.”
“Right.”
“That dimsum really was delightful. I’d missed it.”
“Hmm.”
“And… I missed you.”
“Did you?”
“Of course I did!”
Silence.
The nothingness goes dark. Pitch black.
“What was that!?”
“A-ha!”
“What d’you do?”
“I thought it.”
“What do you mean?”
“Exactly what I said. I thought. it. With intent.”
“Oh. Ohhhh!”
“Go on, try it.”
Everything goes light. Blindingly so.
“Ah, fuck!!”
“Oop, oop, sorry, dear!”
Darker. Muuuuch darker.
“How could that bother you
if you don’t even have eyes?”
“I hAvE pSycHoloGicAL eYes.”
“Really, my dear, there’s no need for mockery.”
“D’you think you still have your powers?”
“I believe so, but then so do you.”
“Right. Yeah…
I never got my miracle plan reinstated, though.”
“Odd.”
“Hmm.”
“Perhaps… we fell through the cracks.”
“Cracks? What cracks?”
“The Cracks.”
“‘The Cracks’… of… what??”
“Of… you know. Everything.”
“Everything??”
“Yes, Crowley! Everything.”
“Ohhhh, you mean The Cracks of Creation???”
Silence.
“Like… like, like… like, a limbo… where…
there’s nothing, nobody, just us? Like, like…
loose change between the cushions of a sofa???”
“Precisely.”
“Ohhhh. That. Huh. Makes… makes no sense, but it does.”
Seconds later, Aziraphale has a body again.
And so does Crowley.
“Oh! Thank you, my dear.”
A wooden bench appears, and it’s identical to the one they used to share at St. James’ Park. Crowley sits, and Aziraphale follows.
There’s no ground beneath their feet.
They’re not floating, nor falling, nor gravitation-less.
They merely exist.
In a few seconds, there is a ground underneath and for as far as their eyes can see, with grasslands moving to a wind they don’t feel.
Then, a blue sky.
The blue turns to orange hues.
“Ohooo, nice touch!”
“Thank you. As you know, I’ve always liked yellow best.”
Crowley smiles.
Turns around to face him, on his left side. Drapes his arm on the back of the bench.
“I’m glad you’re here. Wherever… here is.”
“Me too, my dear.”
“D’you think we got what we wanted?”
“Well… what I wanted is here. And that’s all that matters to me right now.”
Crowley thinks for a bit. Reaches out and holds his hand. His touch is warm and his hands hold his delicately.
His voice softens.
“Yeah. Me too.”
Crowley’s arm move from the back of the bench to Aziraphale’s face, holding his cheek, caressing with his thumb.
“Really glad.”
Aziraphale smiles, kisses his palm.
“I heard you, you know. Before. When… you were thinking. Loud. I could hear everything.”
“Ugh.”
Crowley tries to pull his hand back and shy away as he usually does, but Aziraphale tightens his hold on one hand and grabs the wrist closer to his face.
“No, don’t. Don’t.”
“I–”
“Don’t hide, my darling, please.”
“...”
“We’ve already wasted… so much time. This is our chance. To finally be.”
“...ok.”
“I was– I was proud of you, and ourselves, and our selfless choice, but I was so so sad. So heartbroken. And I heard your voice inside my head and I thought – and then, I, I, I realized– We had survived it. I wasn’t imagining you, you were really here.”
“Not by Her will, though, not God’s.”
“Oh, best not to even say Her name.”
“Best not.”
“Lest we summon.”
“No summoning, no.”
“And I… more than heard, I felt your thoughts. I couldn’t hear words, but I could feel… waves coming off you, invisible waves but they felt so strong, and all around me. I was immerse in your feelings. They washed over me, and, and, warm. I felt… Complete again. More than ever. At peace. And I thought, if this is my death… what a lovely way to go. But it wasn’t, was it?”
Crowley stares, tearful.
“It was rebirth,” they say together.