Chapter Text
Tim stood there for a moment, mentally recalibrating, as the Red Hood shredded a tearaway stripper costume to reveal a really really really big Robin costume, scaly panties and all. The Red Hood was Jason?
“THANK GOD!” Tim shouted. He dropped his bo staff and began undressing. “Bruce sent you here to take over, right? I don’t have to be Robin any more?” He peeled off his gloves and flung them to either side. Next went the utility belt, to land with a loud clank to the floor.
“Uh, what?” Red Hood Robin Jason said, his pose shifting from dramatically threatening to WTF?
Tim yanked off the cape and peeled out of the armored vest. He squirted mask solvent on his domino and peeled it off, sneezing at the smell. “I should have figured it out, my bad. Bruce wouldn’t let me remove your biometrics, and why, why would he think Titans Tower was safer than the Batcave? It STICKS UP into the sky, it’s on the tourist bus tours!” Tim kicked off his shoes. “God, I hate these stupid boots.”
“No, Batman wouldn’t set you up,” Jason Hood said, uncertainly.
Tim snorted. “Oh, you think not? Ask him to tell you about my 16th birthday. Oh, thinking of that, do you mind if I stay long enough to say goodbye to my boyfriend? I’d like to make a cake and leave a forwarding address.”
Jason pulled himself up. “No. I don’t believe you. Batman didn’t care about me. There isn’t even a statue of me in the Hall of Fallen Heroes here! I was a TITAN too!”
Tim huffed. “Bruce is a territorial bitch, you know that. Your memorial is in the Batcave. It’s disgustingly tacky, but would he let us get rid of it? Noooo. One time I touched the case, and had to spend an hour polishing the glass because I left a fingerprint on his sacred son’s shrine. So gross. I had to stare at your bloody Robin suit, and the stupid ‘good soldier’ plaque the whole time.”
“I came here to beat you up, so no more Robins would die,” Jason said, gamely trying to get back on plan. “You know, to prove he shouldn’t have child soldiers?”
Tim had got down to his underwear by this time. He looked down at himself and then up at Jason. “Um. You’ve got a hundred pounds and six inches on me. All you’d prove is that you’re a bully.”
“I’m NOT a bully! I don’t hurt kids! I don’t let anyone hurt kids!”
Tim tilted his head. “Uh huh. That’s good. Ok, so I’m passing the torch back to you.” Tim picked up the bo staff. “I’m going to keep this as a souvenir. Your Robin never needed a ‘keep away stick’ anyway.” Tim walked towards the kitchen, happily whistling.
“I won?” Jason said, uncertainly. “I think?”