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Mark failed Calculus 1 last quarter by an embarrassing margin.
Despite majoring in English, there’s nothing he hates more than letters in math. Hence why he procrastinated taking this class until the very cusp of graduation. Not so smart, it turns out. Because while his best friends are off living their best hot girl summers, Mark is living his worst dumb idiot summer quarter.
His first couple lectures pass in a blur as he mourns the pina coladas he should be having. Every Instagram post serves as a reminder of how much of a failure he is. Jaehyun and Johnny living it up on a cruise in Bali. Hanbin and Zhang Hao getting matching butt tattoos. Jeno wearing a dog collar and posing on all fours (Mark is unsure of the target audience there, but the point still stands).
By the time his first quiz section rolls around, Mark feels like he’s lived thirty lifetimes. His outfit very much embodies this state of mind. He’s wearing a raggedy college sweatshirt and flip flops that showcase his fungal infected toenails in full glory. Unbothered to brush his hair or teeth, Mark opts for an all natural look. He slouches into the classroom a healthy seven minutes late.
Mark freezes in the doorway, rubbing his eyes to confirm he’s imagining things. To his horror, he’s not. Because sitting less than seven feet away from him is his TA, who happens to be the most attractive person Mark has ever seen bless this musty campus. He didn’t even realize he hadn’t been breathing until he started to feel lightheaded.
“You’re late. Mark I’m guessing?" The delectable man looks down at his attendance sheet, giving Mark an unobstructed view of his long eyelashes.
“Yeah,” Mark replies breathily. His eyes fall down to baddie TA’s water bottle, labeled Haechan.
“I won’t mark you absent today, but you better show up on time in the future. Take a seat,” Haechan says.
Mark nods quickly, scurrying over to his desk. He takes care to mew when walking past Haechan.
Mark could care less about whatever icebreaker activity they’re being coerced into. His sight stays fixed on the delicate shapes of Haechan’s face, the sharp lines of his collar bone, and the flurry of moles decorating his features.
Mark watches the clock with a newfound urgency. The millisecond the bell rings, Mark leaps up and beelines for Haechan’s desk.
Mark plants his elbows on the desk, leaning forward as far as he can.
“Hey,” Mark deepens his voice.
“Did you have any questions?” Haechan asks.
Do you have an OnlyFans? Mark wants to ask.
“Do you have office hours?” Mark asks instead. He cannot scare off this fine delicacy of a man too early. No way.
“Only by email appointment,” Haechan answers.
Mark nods slowly, prolonging staring at Haechan’s perfectly crafted face for as long as possible.
Perhaps Mark’s accidental summer quarter is a blessing in disguise.
。。。
Unfortunately, having a hot TA doesn’t make calculus any more bearable or understandable. Mark concludes he is just fundamentally not built for math. But that’s okay. He’s good at other things. Like stroking himself to the thought of his TA.
Mark expected his classmates to share the same distaste for math, and for the most part they did. However, some people didn’t seem to get the memo. Namely, Jung Sungchan.
While the rest of the class desperately avoids eye contact when Haechan asks a question, Sungchan always immediately shoots his hand up with the same stupidly eager doe eyed expression. Like hello, teacher’s pet much?
Even worse, though, is how Haechan lights up at his consistently correct answers. Mark’s chest genuinely hurts at the concept of such an angelic smile being wasted on such an annoying roach.
Mark burns holes at the back of Sungchan’s stupid acorn shaped head. Letting his intrusive thoughts get the better of him, Mark kicks the back of his chair. Sungchan coughs from the sudden impact and looks around in confusion before shrugging it off.
Mark makes his usual sprint to Haechan’s desk when their class ends. This time, however, he comes equipped with ammo.
“Whoa, are you a 45 degree angle? Because you’re such acute-y,” Mark rasps into Haechan’s ear. Mark can tell searching up math pickup lines was the move. He can just feel the sexy intelligence radiating off of him.
“Well, good thing you’re obtuse,” Haechan replies in a monotone.
Mark doesn’t get it. He laughs and slaps his knees anyways. Call him a glazer, Mark couldn’t care less.
“Hohoho, good one!” He points finger guns.
“Mark, please step aside, there are people waiting behind you,” Haechan says.
Mark looks back. Towering above him is Sungchan, patient smile cast across his frustratingly chiseled cheekbones. What a punchable face. And he’s at least six feet tall. Shit shit shit.
Mark drags his hands down his face as he exits the room. Judging from Haechan’s jolly expression, he probably has a thing for tall people. The thought of it makes Mark itchy all over. He frantically pulls up Temu and places an order for the highest sole sneakers he can find.
Two can play at this game, Mark cackles maniacally.
。。。
Mark wouldn’t call what he’s been doing to Sungchan stalking per se. Investigative journalism has a nicer ring to it.
He enlists the help of his genius hacker friend Jaemin to scrape the internet for every inch of information about him. To Mark’s profound dismay, he doesn’t uncover anything incriminating. Instead, he finds out that Sungchan is even more of a brainy bastard than anticipated.
For starters, Sungchan isn’t even a freshman yet. Somehow, he finagled his way into university classes the summer after graduating high school. Second red flag, fancy private high school. His accolade infested LinkedIn stares back mockingly at Mark.
It all makes sense now. His youthful demeanor. His bulging intelligence.
“Is this good enough?” Jaemin projects his findings onto his oversized monitors.
“More than good enough,” Mark replies ominously.
“Alright, just don’t do anything illegal dude. I don’t want to be affiliated with whatever weird scheme you’re cooking up,” Jaemin chuckles.
“Have some faith in your big guy,” Mark grins.
。。。
Another class, another opportunity for Mark to assert dominance. What he lacks in brains, Mark intends to make up for in charm.
For the entirety of the quiz section, Mark angles his desk so Haechan gets an unobstructed view of the good side of his face. He took care to wear the most scandalous tank top he owns. And Mark might be delusional, but he can say with certainty that it’s having an effect. Every so often, he catches Haechan’s eyes wandering over to him before quickly snapping away. Mark smiles deviously. Too easy.
And now, the coup de grâce. At the bell, Mark runs up to Haechan’s desk as usual. Haechan looks up, unsurprised to find Mark all up in his personal space.
“Hey. The graph on my TI-84 seems kinda busted, could you take a look?” Mark hands his calculator over before Haechan can object.
“Sure,” Haechan narrows his eyes in confusion. He taps a few keys to open up the graphing tool. Mark can pinpoint the split second when Haechan sees it. A wonky graphed heart that required Mark hours worth of tutorials and drinks to produce.
Haechan pauses, staring blankly at the screen. Then, ever so slightly, the corners of his lips turn up.
“That’s actually kind of cute,” Haechan chuckles softly, returning the calculator. Mark purposefully brushes fingers when receiving it, extending the contact beyond a reasonable amount.
Haechan clears his throat and quickly refocuses on his computer. Mark takes it as his cue to head out. Right before he leaves, he turns around to sneak one last glance at his TA’s beautiful face, hoping to further impress it into his memory. Mark grins as he notices Haechan’s ears tinged pink.
To celebrate his progress, he decides to treat himself later that evening. He practically skips on the way to the ice cream parlor. Life is so worth living.
As he turns a corner, he sees a mysterious trail of smoke exit from the alleyway. Mark can’t help but be curious. He takes the detour, arms ready in a fighting stance.
All it takes is a glimpse of glowy skin to recognize Haechan leaning against the wall, vape in hand. Next to him stands fellow math TA, Yuta, also aggressively vaping. They’re preoccupied in what looks to be a very passionate conversation from the intense gestures Haechan is using. Mark crawls up behind a dumpster to eavesdrop.
“It just doesn’t make sense to me how my entire quiz section can be so incompetent. Seriously, aside from this one boy Sungchan, everyone else is sharing custody over half a brain cell,” Haechan groans.
“Oh man, tell me about it,” Yuta puffs out a ring of smoke. “I had this one kid, Jimin, ask what a fraction is. Like dude. This is college math.”
Haechan nods sympathetically.
Mark’s blood boils. There is no way he is losing to Sungchan of all people.
He unleashes a guttural howl, his inner alpha getting the better of him.
They whip their heads around, scanning for the source. Mark curls up as small as humanly possible.
“See, we’re hearing things now. They should’ve included guaranteed insanity on the TA job description,” Yuta laughs.
。。。
Alone time, Mark concludes, is what he needs to turn the tides. And what better time than office hours to do so?
Mark shoots Haechan an email to request a private office hours appointment.
Dearest Haechan,
I would love to indulge in your boundless mathematical expertise. Would you be available 6PM Friday for office hours? I need your help to conquer this calculus unit. Brief side note, your hair looked really nice at Tuesday’s quiz section. And shorts really suit you. Actually, honestly everything suits you. A suit would definitely suit you. I would be very willing to buy you one. Let me know if you want me to buy you a suit.
You can mark me in your heart,
Mark
Mark’s eyes stay glued to his phone for hours after that. He jumps every time he sees a notification, only to see it’s a message from Genshin Impact beckoning him to resume his gambling addiction. Only at the break of dawn does Haechan grace him with a response.
Mark,
That timing works.
Haechan
Mark scoffs at his icy reply. Playing hard to get. He reaches the final line of the email.
P.S. You sent your message to the entire class.
Mark’s heart drops to his kidneys. Shaking, he checks the email address line. Indeed, it somehow includes every single one of his classmates. Including Sungchan. Just great. Now his number one opponent knows about his underground tactics.
。。。
“I just don’t know how else I can frame this,” Haechan sighs.
Haechan has been trying to explain limits to Mark for 30 minutes to no avail. To Mark’s credit, it is rather distracting having an unblocked view of Haechan. Mark even finds Haechan’s annoyance to be adorable. Anytime Mark fails to understand something, Haechan furrows his eyebrows and pokes his tongue in his cheek. It makes Mark want to always be stupid so he can see that expression even more. Good thing stupid is his default.
Mark shrugs and cocks his head to the side.
“I dunno my guy. Maybe you could relate it to something relevant to my life.”
Haechan thinks. He rhythmically taps his fingers against the chalkboard. He winces as he gets an idea, as if the sheer thought is painful.
“Okay, this is a last resort,” Haechan inhales sharply. “Are you familiar with the term, uh… edging?”
Now we’re talking, Mark muses.
“Very.”
“Uh lovely. So that’s basically what a limit is. Getting extremely close to something, in this case pleasure, without ever fully reaching it.”
Mark watches Haechan turn redder than a tomato.
“Wow, that actually makes sense. I think I’m getting it,” Mark says.
“Yeah?” Haechan looks relieved, shoulders easing up.
“Yeah.”
Mark smirks.
“Though, I’m still a little confused. I could use a hands on demonstration.”
Haechan chokes on his spit. He’s somehow managed to become even redder.
“Sorry, what?”
“You heard me,” Mark leans back in his chair, spreading his legs. He tilts his head back, exposing his neck and jawline.
Haechan stares with an unreadable expression. Slowly, he hoists himself up and walks over to Mark. With a gentle touch, he brushes strands of hair out of his face. His fingers glide over Mark’s cheek, landing at his jaw.
He blinks a couple times, swiftly retreating his hand as he snaps back to reality.
“Oh hell no. We cannot be doing this,” he says.
“Shush princess, it’s okay,” Mark whispers into his ear. Haechan shivers and seems to reconsider.
“No, you don’t understand. I could get fired,” he stresses.
Before Mark can get any more words in, Haechan collects his belongings and bolts out the door.
Mark believes with strong conviction that Haechan is lying about the real reason behind his reluctance. His stormy mind conjures up the explanation that it must be because of a certain someone. Sungchan.
Lately, Sungchan has been getting on Mark’s nerves even more than usual. It’s the way Sungchan looks at Mark. The worst part is that he doesn’t even look at Mark with hatred. His gaze emulates pure innocence and righteousness. It’s like he thinks he’s so superior to the extent that he doesn’t even consider Mark a valid threat. Screw him.
He starts his car, cranking up the radio to drown out his thoughts. The chorus of hit song 2 Baddies blasts at him. The lyrics begin to hit too close to home. Haechan probably has a Porsche. He’s also currently juggling two baddies: Mark and Sungchan.
Mark swerves on the road, vision blurry with rage. He ends up home, miraculously in one piece. But with the way his thoughts are shaping up, Sungchan won’t end up in one piece.
。。。
To beat the enemy, one must infiltrate the enemy. Mark is very proud of coining that philosophy himself.
First order of business, Mark needs to lower Sungchan’s guard.
The perfect opportunity strikes Tuesday evening. He comes across Sungchan dribbling a soccer ball on an empty turf field.
“Mind if I join?” Mark calls out to him.
Sungchan freezes like a deer in headlights. The ball rolls away as he contemplates.
“Uh… sure,” he replies shakily. Mark jogs up to him and offers a brotherly slap on the back. Sungchan is justifiably perplexed.
“Yo watch this,” Mark steals the ball and juggles it on his knee. He manages three pitiful bounces before it falls over.
Sungchan giggles at that.
“Nah dude, you’re doing it completely wrong, you gotta have it like this…”
The two monkey around on the field until it’s pitch black outside. They lay on their backs, laughing at some dumb pun Mark made. Mark flops onto his side to face Sungchan. Sungchan’s eyes crinkle in honest delight and a pang of guilt bites at Mark’s chest. He has to remind himself that this covert operation is all in the name of the greater good. They wave their goodbyes and go their separate ways for the night.
。。。
The next time they meet, it’s a calculated move from Mark. He intercepts Sungchan at the end of their lecture. Mark raises his hand in greeting. Sungchan lights up in glee, smiling wide. He waves back.
“Guess who made cookies!” Mark exclaims, box cradled in his arms.
“Whoa dude, I didn’t know you baked,” he pokes his head over to examine.
“Want some?”
Sungchan shakes his head.
“Nothing personal, I’m just mad lactose intolerant.”
“Nah man, me too. There’s no dairy in these,” Mark replies smoothly. Sungchan brightens at that.
“Oh wow. Thanks, you really didn’t have to,” Sungchan shyly accepts the box. Mark smiles warmly and leaves the lecture hall.
There is definitely dairy in those cookies. Three months expired milk, to be exact. But how, one might ask, did Mark know Sungchan was incredibly lactose intolerant?
Recall Mark’s preliminary investigative journalism with his partner in crime Jaemin. One of his key findings was that Sungchan, the geek that he is, already had multiple research papers under his belt. Including one focused on lactose intolerance, in which he foolishly exposed his own experience with it.
Needless to say, Sungchan was absent from classes for over two weeks after that.
。。。
Out of sight, out of mind.
Everything seems to finally be lining up for Mark now that Sungchan is temporarily out of the picture. For one, he doesn’t completely bomb his midterm, which is a grand improvement from the train wreck of a test he had the prior quarter.
But even more impressive, he manages to spot Haechan in the wild without any stalking. It’s on Mark’s way back from the gym that they miraculously cross paths.
Haechan has his hands tucked into his oversized hoodie pockets, cheeks dusted a rosy tint from the chilly evening. The instant he catches sight of Mark, he pivots a full 180 and runs. Mark curses himself for doing legs that day and begins sprinting after him.
The pursuit lasts several blocks until Haechan tires out near a secluded dog park. He falls onto his knees, panting. Clearly, the vaping isn’t doing wonders for his lungs. Mark limps over to him, legs entirely gone at this point.
“Good thing I like a chase,” Mark huffs out, hunched over in exhaustion.
Haechan rolls his eyes, fake-gagging.
“A dog park? Really?” Mark scans his surroundings.
“Well, I didn’t ask you to hunt me down,” Haechan mutters. Mark laughs and walks closer.
“Could be worse for a first date,” he says.
Haechan shoves him away and blushes profusely.
“Literally nobody said this was a date. You need to wake up.”
“Yeah yeah, whatever,” Mark waves him off. “You know though, I’ve been thinking about our little office hours session a lot.”
Haechan drags his hands down his face and sighs. He starts to say something but Mark cuts him off.
“It’s made me think about how else I can relate calculus to my life.”
Haechan deflates in relief.
“Oh. I thought you were talking about something else,” Haechan chuckles nervously.
“No yeah. Like you know how when you set the first derivative to zero, it can tell you the local max of a function?”
Haechan perks up, shocked at Mark’s understanding.
“This idea of a max, it reminds me a lot of an orgasm.”
Haechan makes a painful sounding wheeze. He wraps a hand behind his neck, looking away.
“I mean, you’re not wrong I guess…”
“Don’t you think I deserve a prize for being so good at math?” Mark teases, inching closer. Mark can hear Haechan’s breath hitch.
“In a dog park?” Haechan whispers, not so subtly glancing at Mark’s lips now.
“Of course, puppy,” Mark whispers back.
That does it for Haechan. He jumps on Mark, sending them both stumbling towards the ground. He grabs the collar of Mark’s shirt, temporarily cutting off his neck circulation. Mark’s head tilts back as he gags. Haechan sinks his teeth into the edge of Mark’s throat. Mark groans in response.
“You’re such an idiot,” Haechan murmurs in between bites. “You’re the stupidest person I’ve ever met.”
Mark has never been more turned on in his entire life. He grabs Haechan by his hair and tugs, prompting a filthily loud whine. The rest of the world fades away as they wrestle on top of each other. At some point, Mark feels Haechan’s soft lips brush against his.
It doesn’t take much for Mark to hit his local max after that.
。。。
Mark rides the high of their dog park extravaganza for the rest of the week. He’s so blissed out, nothing in the world could phase him.
Terrible weather? Who cares.
Moldy dining hall food? Light work.
Fifty problems long WebAssign? A breeze.
Sungchan trailing behind him on an afternoon walk? Wait, Sungchan?
Mark yelps in fear, backing up against a building. Sungchan’s sickly paleness and dark under eye circles do great favors to enhance his intimidating aura.
Sungchan lurches forward, gripping Mark’s shoulders and slamming him against the wall.
“Why the hell did you poison me?” Sungchan grits out. Mark releases a couple pathetic squeaks. He musters up all his courage to form a response.
“Maybe if you had just stayed in your own lane, none of this would have happened,” Mark spits out.
“What in the world are you talking about?” Sungchan expression contorts into confusion.
The audacity of this kid, Mark thinks.
“Haechan,” Mark replies.
“Like our math TA?” Sungchan’s voice wavers. Okay, now Mark is also getting confused.
“Are you playing with me right now?” Mark asks impatiently.
“Dude. Why would I go for our literal math TA, I’m not a freak.”
Mark’s jaw drops. His statement clinks around in Mark’s brain as he tries to make sense of the whole situation.
“If anything, I wanted to impress you,” Sungchan mumbles, dropping his fingers from Mark’s shoulders.
There’s actually no way.
“Me?” Mark points at himself.
“Yeah well, I thought it was kind of obvious I had a thing for you,” Sungchan averts his gaze, ears reddening.
The repercussions of Mark’s actions hit him all at once. It’s like a switch enabling rational thought suddenly flicks on. He’s been harassing a boy fresh out of high school for no proper reason. A boy who even had a crush on him. All over a sexy math TA.
Mark tears up, even though he knows he has no right to.
“Oh my god, I’m— I’m so sorry what the heck,” Mark drops his head.
“It’s okay,” Sungchan offers.
“No, don’t forgive me, that was seriously messed up,” Mark shakes his head. “How can I make it up to you?”
Sungchan hesitates, like he didn’t expect the conversation to head in this direction. After a bit, he comes to a conclusion.
“Kiss me.”
Mark blood runs cold.
He decides he can’t really go back on his word at this point. It’s the least he can do to offer Sungchan a drop of happiness after the ocean of suffering he endured.
Slowly, Mark cups his hand on Sungchan’s cheek and leans in to kiss him. His heart aches as he realizes Sungchan is smiling slightly.
All of a sudden, he hears a loud crash. Mark whips his head around.
Haechan stares back at him, water bottle shattered on the ground. He sprints away without looking back.
Mark immediately lets go of Sungchan, quickly forgetting all of the morals he just established. He follows after Haechan and grabs his wrist when he catches up.
Haechan turns his head back, and Mark gets a heartwrenching view of his tear-streaked cheeks.
“You fucking player,” Haechan screams.
“You’ve got it all wrong, let me explain—“
Haechan slaps Mark hard enough to leave a mark. Probably deserved.
“I didn’t actually kiss him,” Mark stumbles out before Haechan slaps him again. Haechan retracts his hand and crosses his arms.
“I may or may not have started beef with him about you. I was trying to appease him, that’s all,” Mark says shakily.
Haechan glares for a while longer. Then, he cracks up.
“I can’t believe how dumb you are,” Haechan giggles, going in for a hug. Mark melts into his embrace.
“I wanna be your integral so I can lay under your curves,” Mark peppers kisses all along Haechan’s face.
“That’s only if you can make it to calculus two, baby.”