Chapter Text
The floor was so cold it chilled me to the bone, though it wasn’t the first time I’d felt this way. The air in my lungs had almost completely left me, and all that remained was my ragged breathing, accompanied by a pain that coursed through my entire body, making me tremble.
I heard his complaints, he shouts, and he relentless anger toward me. I could only remain silent, inhaling the heavy air in the room, thinking, «I wish this suffering would end».
— Don’t ever do that again,— Tiw retorted with a cold stare that pierced my insides as she left the room.
I slowly sat up, leaning against the wall, clutching my stomach, fighting back nausea, trying to catch my breath.
This was just another day, another moment where i wished it would all end.
The next day
I woke with a start from a nightmare. My mind felt clouded as I recalled the panic I’d felt the day before. Today was the start of a new semester at university. A new cycle. More chaos for already exhausted mind.
After getting ready, I went down to the dining room, and there he was, with that shameless smile that made me nauseous.
— You woke up early, — he said coldly.
I remained silent and simply headed for the door, grabbing my keys, but before I could reach it, he positioned himself in front of me, blocking the exit.
— Honey, you know it hurts when you avoid me…
He cupped my face in his calloused hands and stroked my cheek too firmly, making me avoid his gaze. This only made me panic again, terrified of what might happen next.
— I want to apologize for yesterday. I was a little rough, but you know you shouldn’t do things like that. It makes me jealous. I’m just trying to be good to you and love you, you know that, right? —
— Y-yes, I replied, my voice trembling, as I pulled his hand away from my face. —I have to go, or I’ll be late. —
I grabbed my things hurriedly, walking quickly toward the door as he waved goodbye in the distance. I felt like I could breathe again.
Compared to my apartament, university felt safe, a place where I felt I could relax and be myself for a while. Especially since I wouldn’t run into Tiw, as he couldn’t come near me while I was here because of his group of friends.
My relationship with him at first consisted of kisses, caresses, and words that soothed my heart. I thought I could finally love someone openly without worrying about what others might think.
I wonder when he started to change…
Before I could continue with my thoughts, I felt my phone vibrate. It was him.
Tiw: “Enjoy your day, teerak.”
My hands began to tremble slightly, but I tried to steady myself; I didn’t want to have a panic attack in front of everyone. So, I inhaled deeply, then exhaled a heavy breath that felt like it was eating me up inside.
It took some time for classes to end. I couldn’t concentrate, remembering the events of the previous night.
A faint reddish mark still remained on my face, which I tried to cover with some makeup. It stung painfully. However, I couldn’t think about that now; I had things to do.
The professor explained that we had to choose a partner for the end-of-semester design project. That meant I would have to work with that person for the entire time.
I just thought that this might cause problems with Tiw, but I couldn’t tell her that right now. I was distracted when something pulled me from my thoughts.
— Hi, I’m Duang…— he said warmly, a huge smile on his face.
— Would you like to be my partner? —
His carefree smile made my pulse quicken a little. I hadn’t felt this kind of warmth in a while…