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Everything is wrong.
It's just hot enough that Jason is sweating, and he's regretting being under a blanket. A blanket that is so bunched up and uncomfortable and just feels wrong.
He's still not awake enough to move, and he's laying on his side, and the arm pinned between his body and the bed is asleep.
Everything just feels wrong, and wrong, and wrong, and he was immediately aware of it as soon as he started to wake up.
Jason is kicking his legs, and then turning over. He tries to pull the blanket off of him, but it doesn't move the way he wants, or expects, he doesn't know.
He can't breathe. He's uncomfortable. He feels scared, and crowed, and-
He darts to sit up, ridding himself completely of the blanket. He's exposed to the too-warm air. It's too hot, even in just boxers. He hugs his knees to his chest, trying to breathe. He can't breathe, he can't breathe. He moves his hands to grip his knees, then through his hair.
He runs his hand through his hair, damp from sweat, which was starting to feel cold. He gripped at the locks that hung in his face.
He gripped the back of his neck, He breathing was labored and getting worse.
He couldn't breath, he just couldn't, he couldn't-
A hand touched his shoulder. "Jason!" came an urgent voice. He flinched, and his head snapped to face Leo. His husband retracted his hand. He looked worried, and Jason realized he must have been trying to get his attention for a minute.
Jason tried to say something, but it didn't come out.
"Hey, hey, are you okay?" Leo asks, his eyes locked on Jason's.
He's not. He's not okay. He tries to say that. Tell Leo that something is wrong. He still can't. The words won't come, he can't breathe. Jason shakes he head.
"Okay, it's okay. You're gonna be alright." Leo reassures. "Is it okay if I touch you right now?"
That would be priceless as comfort.
He can't, though. Leo runs hot, and besides that, any touch would be equal to gorse right now. It would feel so good to have his husband hold him. But he can't. He feels too crowded. He can't breathe. Jason shakes his head.
"Got it. Hey, how 'bout you try to breathe for me, okay? Just in and out, 'kay, hon?"
Jason nods, a stutter to his breath. Leo presses a palm to his own chest. "Okay. In," and he takes a long deep breath. Jason does his best to match him. "And out."
They're at it for a couple of minutes. Jason's breath evens out well enough. He's still panicking, and incredibly overstimulated. But at least he could logic out that that's what's happening, now. And at least his lungs no longer feel like they can't expand. Leo gives him a soft smile. "Better?"
Jason nods. "Yeah, b-better."
Leo perks up a little. "Okay, okay, we're talking now. Good." The son of Hephaestus shifted into a more comfortable sitting position. "Do you think you can tell me what's up? What are you feeling right now?"
Jason gives a nod, much more stable than before. "I- I'm…" He chokes a little. "It's… Hot. Too hot in here. I can't- I mean… Feel like I'm in an oven. It's small, I don't have space, I'm stuck, it's too damn hot."
Leo studied his husband, clearly thinking. "Okay… Would it help if I opened the window? It should be cold outside."
He was right about that. It was March, and it had been raining when they had gone to bed. "Yeah," Jason confirms. "Yeah, please."
Leo gives him a nod and a soft, reassuring smile.
He doesn't have to leave the bed, since it's pressed against the wall, the window being by the foot of the bed. Leo only needs to crawl to the end of the bed to get to the glass fixture.
There's something satisfying about the sound of the latch clicking when he unlocks the window that sits nicely in Jason's ears, and to his own surprise, it helps. Not substantially, but it's nice.
Leo slides the pane up, leaving only a mesh border between the room and the outside. The breath of cold air that flows in is almost immediately soothing. He inhales sharply when it hits his skin, but quickly lets the breath out in relief. It feels good.
Leo kneels in front of Jason. He can see how Jason's muscles have relaxed, and any stutter left in his breath is gone. "Oh, yeah, that definitely helped." He says with a chuckle in his voice. "You need anything else from me, love?"
Gods, this man is everything. His husband looks so lovely right now, with his curls messed up, in a blue-gray jersey about three sizes too big (because it's Jason's), and it's just hanging off of his frame, exposing his shoulder and collar bones, which are decorated with bruises of various colors and sizes.
Jason shakes his head. "Just…" His voice is small. "Talk to me?"
He's smiling at him so softly despite how wrecked Jason must look right now.
Yeah, alright. How about…" He thinks, then perks up. "I got a call from Annabeth earlier." And there's a mischievous grin on his lips.
"Oh?"
"You know how she and Percy took that week trip to Camp Jupiter?"
And Leo talks. He tells Jason about what Annabeth told him. About some stupid thing Percy did on the way back to New York. Reminiscing about similar stupid things he had done when they were younger. And Jason starts talking back. Starts calling Leo out, because he called a specific firework incident "the dumbest thing he's ever seen," to which Jason has at least three dumber fire-related happenings involving his husband.
And now they're laying down next to each other, staring at the ceiling, with their pinky fingers hooked together.
"Gods, it got cold in here, didn't it?" Jason says with a shiver.
"Yeah, I guess it did," He agrees, like he didn't notice till that moment. And he probably didn't, taking into account the not-so-metaphorical fire flowing through his veins. He sits up and "I should probably close the window, then?"
"Nah, I'll do it." Jason says, like it's not a problem. He gets up to close the window, and when he turns back to his man, he looks oddly pleased.
"What?" Jason chuckles.
"You're feeling better, then?"
Jason just smiles and rolls his eyes. "Yeah, I guess."
Leo lays back down and beckons his husband to join, gesturing for him to take his usual place on his chest.
Jason settles in there comfortably, pulling the covers over them as he does it. He nuzzles his face into Leo's chest, the same way that has gotten him compared to a dog before. Leo's hands found their place in Jason's hair, scratching at his scalp in that comforting way that made Jason huff in approval. The dog similarities rarely end with Jason.
The blond mutters something into the fabric of Leo's(his) jersey. "What's that, love?"
"Thank you."
Leo chuckles. "What for?"
Jason shrugs, just kind of gesturing to the whole situation. "Just… being here. Having me. Being there when I need it."
"Baby, we're married. You don't-"
"I know, I know, I don't need to thank you. But you're wonderful, and you deserve it."
"Oh, baby," And you can just hear the smile in his voice as he presses a kiss into Jason's forehead.
Jason tilts his head up to face Leo, pressing a kiss to his cheek, then the corner of his mouth. Leo kissed back, humming sweetly into his man's lips.
They rest their foreheads together with their eyes closed.
"You're perfect."
"Alright, Jase, we both know that's not true."
Jason gives a challenging hum.
"Oh, hush."
The son of Jupiter giggled, resting his head back on Leo's chest. He feels so lucky.
He has the most beautiful, sweet, loving husband. And in a fucked up way, they understand each other on a very unique level. Demi-god stuff aside, they've both been literally dead.
And even beyond that, Jason genuinely doesn't think he would be able to find that companionship in someone who wasn't also broken in the head. It's not good for him to think about it like that, he knows. But it's hard to think about it any differently when it amounts to him (among other things) waking up in the middle of the night having a panic attack from being overstimulated.
Getting any kind of diagnosis is difficult enough as it is. Forget all the nuances of his situation. But he's come to a point in his life where he doesn't need a doctor to tell him he probably has autism. He has a husband in the same boat, and a wonderful support system that some people aren't lucky enough to have.
And he loves Leo for being that for him. He loves him for understanding him. Loves him for how he doesn't love Jason despite his difficult parts. He loves those difficult parts. And he's willing and wanting to be there for Jason. Even when loses him sleep. Even when it would be easier not to share a bed with a man who wakes up in the middle of the night distressed and panicked.
"Hun, I can hear you thinking," Leo interrupts Jason's thoughts.
Jason lets out a huff.
"Sleep. Thinking too hard is not good for you specifically when you're tired." Leo's scolds, gently. His voice is so soft and sweet. There are many parts of his husband that Jason thinks were hand-crafted by their associated divinity, and his voice is definitely one of them.
And slowly, he does. He tries his best to focus on his husband's hands in his hair. He focus on the comfort around him, until he's not focusing on anything at all. Until he is just vaguely aware that he is comfortable. Until he sleeps, his husband holding him.