Chapter Text
It rains as Wonbin walks home, his heart twisted into ugly shapes of uncertainty and regret. The raindrops strike harshly against his skin, almost as if they’re mocking him, belittling him for being such a fool and ending up in this situation. His shivering silhouette moves defeatedly through the misty alley while cold seeps deep into his flesh, carrying with it this strange humiliation clawing at his ribs, digging into his chest. His eyes burn with a miserable, uncharacteristic urge to burst into tears.
Worst of all is the nausea twisting his guts in its claws. The sour taste sitting at the base of his throat has been there for a while now, as if he might puke at any second.
The streetlights cast a dim warmth over the asphalt, their glow trembling beneath the cruel onslaught of rain. His breaths come shallow and uneven, leaving faint trails of smog in the freezing air. In one hand, he clutches the foldable umbrella tightly, with no intention of using it anytime soon. He's already wet anyway.
There’s the nosy neighbour with his squeaky Pomeranian, both hiding beneath the convenience store awning to shield themselves from the rain. Who on earth walks their dog in this weather anyway? Wonbin thinks bitterly.
The older man seems to be mouthing something at him while gesturing with his hands—probably telling Wonbin to come take shelter from the rain where he’s standing, but Wonbin only gives a slight bow and keeps moving. And just then, he knows it’s only a matter of time before the weird stares start. Before tongues click judgmentally at him around the neighbourhood, and he finds out exactly who badmouthed him for being “rude.” Then, before he knows it, he’ll get a call from his mom telling him to be more polite, more well-mannered, more whatever people expect him to be.
Wonbin’s decision to move out and rent a place in the old neighbourhood he used to live in as a kid was probably a terrible idea—especially when his mom still keeps in touch with most of the people here. It feels like being monitored at all times. But the rent is manageable in this area, and his mom put in a good word for him to his landlord. So he has no choice except to put up with neighbours constantly prying into his business.
As he walks up the stairs to his apartment, the door suddenly swings open, nearly hitting him in the face. Almost immediately, the smell of ramen, probably Sohee’s choice for dinner, hits him, and Wonbin’s urge to throw up worsens.
“Look who finally decided to show up.”
The sarcastic greeting meets him at the door, though the worry underneath almost gets swallowed by the short distance between them and the relentless sound of rainfall filling the air. Wonbin, now a sniffling mess from the cold, steps inside and nudges the younger guy backward.
“Geez, you’re dripping everywhere,” the whining continues as Wonbin steps out of his shoes.
“Give me a break,” Wonbin grumbles, peeling the heavy, rain-soaked layers off his body. The absence of them lifts some of the weight from his body, though his shivering only worsens.
“Hyung, you look kinda pale.” Sohee’s wearing that little knot between his brows, the one that only appears when he’s genuinely worried, and Wonbin figures he must look absolutely terrible if that’s the reaction he’s getting out of him.
“Is everything alright?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. Probably just caught a cold.” By now, Wonbin has stripped off all his soaked clothes and gathered them in his arms, carrying them straight to the washing machine his mother passed down to him and Sohee after buying herself a newer one. Water trails behind him with every step, and he can hear Sohee following close after.
“Of course you'd catch a cold. Why would you let yourself get rained on when you literally had an umbrella? It’s like you were asking to get sick.” Sohee keeps whining in that high-pitched, squeaky tone of his, and it almost feels like having some nagging kid trail after him, yapping nonstop in his ear. Somehow, that simple thought is what finally makes him throw up. At least he’s already in the bathroom.
Bent over the toilet with his bare body trembling violently, every venomous emotion he forced himself to swallow down now claws its way back up, vengefully so. At some point, Sohee’s voice fades entirely from his consciousness, but the steady rhythm of a hand patting his back keeps him grounded somehow.
It burns. Everything burns viciously, like every cell in his body has turned against him, determined to tear him apart from the inside out. A foul aftertaste coats his mouth while tears spill uncontrollably down his face. Why is his body doing this? Why can’t he stop? Why does he feel so utterly helpless right now?
And why—why, even after everything, does some pathetic part of him still ache to be buried in that stupid alpha’s arms in this moment?
Suddenly, he feels a piece of clothing draped over his shoulders, and seconds later, his face is pressed into the crook of Sohee’s neck, the younger man’s arms wrapping around Wonbin’s violently shivering frame. And his instincts must truly be testing him, because in that moment, Wonbin selfishly wishes Sohee were an alpha, if only so he could offer even the faintest semblance of everything Wonbin had to give up that night- everything that slipped right through his fingers. And now all Wonbin is left with is the bitter aftertaste of adoration, unsaid words weighing down his heart, and a growing life inside his detestable womb.
“Hyung, try taking deep breaths, hm?” Sohee pleads softly, his hand moving aimlessly up and down Wonbin’s back in an attempt to calm him down.
Wonbin feels awful about all of this. He’s lying there half-naked on the cold bathroom tiles while his housemate, his closest friend, comforts him, completely clueless to why Wonbin is suddenly falling apart like this. There’s a faint scent of cologne lingering on Sohee’s zip-up hoodie, the one the younger man had been wearing only minutes ago before draping it over Wonbin’s shoulders. It’s subtle, but present, comforting in a way that almost resembles pheromones he doesn’t even have.
“What am I gonna do?” Wonbin chokes out. What the fuck is he gonna do? He’s only twenty-three and barely managing university alongside his part-time job. He only moved out last year, and even that hadn’t exactly worked out the way he imagined. Five months into living alone, Sohee had one day shown up at his doorstep with two giant suitcases sitting beside him, wearing those oversized shorts that made the bits of his legs peeking out look cartoonishly skinny. He’d been grinning so wide, too, little fangs on display in the sheepish way Wonbin had always found stupidly endearing.
Financially, it had been the smartest choice. Wonbin was lucky someone he trusted that much had also been searching for a place. Still, adjusting hadn’t been easy. Even while struggling to make ends meet during those five months alone, he’d gotten used to having his own space, his own routine, his own solitude. Then Sohee moved in, and suddenly there was another person everywhere, another presence he had to learn to exist beside. Without even realizing it, Wonbin buries his face deeper into Sohee’s neck, fingers twisting tightly into the thin fabric of Sohee’s t-shirt.
“What am I gonna do now?” Wonbin keeps crying without meaning to. “How am I supposed to tell mom?”
“Hyung, you’re seriously scaring me now.” Sohee sounds restless all of a sudden, and the comforting strokes against Wonbin’s back come to a stop. “What do you mean? What’s wrong?”
Then there’s a long pause.
“Don’t tell me…” Sohee hesitates for a second, voice suddenly smaller and Wonbin wonders if Sohee’s figuring it out on his own. “Are you in debt? Are loan sharks after you?” He actually sounds terrified.
A soft snort escapes Wonbin at how wildly off that guess is. Pulling away from the warmth of Sohee’s neck, he sniffles and wipes roughly at his tears. How is he supposed to do this? Just say it? Blurt it out like it’s nothing? And how the hell is Sohee even going to react?
Wonbin finally looks up at Sohee. The younger man is staring right back at him with glossy eyes filled with concern, but also obvious impatience to figure out what the hell has Wonbin acting like this.
“Hyung, pleeease just tell me already,” Sohee whines, dragging out the syllables dramatically.
“I’m pregnant.”
Suddenly, the sound of rain hitting the windows feels louder. There’s the distant noise of Sohee’s computer too, some game left running unattended in the other room. Sohee absently rubs at the back of his neck, lips pursed in concentration as he stares at Wonbin with a puzzled expression.
Should he not have said anything?
Maybe he should’ve kept it to himself until he figured out what the fuck he was even supposed to do.
“Oh,” Sohee says.
Oh? That’s it? Wonbin curls deeper into the hoodie without meaning to, a slight pout tugging at his lips.
“Okay wait, so you’re… like, you’re…” Sohee stumbles over his own words while trying to process what he just heard. He abruptly shakes his head a few times, exhales hard, then groans quietly. “Ugh, whatever. I’ll ask later. Let’s just get you off the floor first.”
Sohee places his hands on either side of Wonbin and helps him up carefully. The bathroom tiles have left faint imprints across Wonbin’s legs, soft pink parallel lines decorating his cold skin “You keep sniffling, hyung. At this point you actually are gonna get sick.”
Sohee pulls the shower curtain aside and starts adjusting the water temperature. Wonbin just stands there quietly, eyelids heavy from crying. His boxers have ridden up uncomfortably, and now that circulation is finally returning to his legs, he sways slightly in place, trying to shake off the pins and needles. He watches Sohee move around the shower. Is the beta really not gonna ask anything else?
Honestly, he’d taken the news way better than Wonbin expected. If Sohee had reacted badly, Wonbin probably would’ve spiraled even harder. So maybe this is better. It’s not like he could hide the morning sickness and constant nausea forever when they literally live under the same roof. But what the hell is he supposed to do about his mom—
“There,” Sohee says finally, turning back around. “Water’s perfect now.” The words pull Wonbin out of his thoughts. Their eyes lock for a few wordless seconds, and suddenly he can feel his lips trembling all over again.
Seriously, what is wrong with him tonight? Why is he suddenly this damn weepy? Wonbin bites down hard on his bottom lip and forces himself to hold it together. No more crying. He already feels lightheaded enough as it is.
“Want me to stay and help?” Sohee asks softly, his tone genuinely concerned as he picks up Wonbin’s discarded, still-dripping clothes from the floor and tosses them into the washing machine.
Wonbin shrugs off the red hoodie and throws it in Sohee’s direction. The younger catches it easily before adding it to the machine along with the pile already sitting in the laundry basket.
“Ew, no. Get out,” Wonbin says flatly as he steps out of his boxers.
“Tsk, acting all modest when you’re literally stripping in front of me,” Sohee mock-whines on his way out. A moment later, the washing machine rumbles to life.
The warm water eases some of the tension knotted deep in Wonbin’s flesh. His gaze keeps drifting down to his stomach without him even realizing it. There’s nothing unusual about it yet. It still just looks like his abdomen, slim with clean definition lining it. It’s hard to believe there’s actually a living thing inside him, a fetus that’s apparently been growing there for the past five weeks.
Wonbin’s only known for one.
He’d taken three pregnancy tests out of pure disbelief, and every single one came back with two red lines staring mockingly back at him. Water drips down his face as he continues staring at his stomach, vision blurred beneath the stream. What is he supposed to do? What even is the right thing to do here?
It’s not like he can ignore the symptoms forever and keep pretending his life is normal. Eventually it’s going to show. And more than that, how is he even supposed to raise a kid?
He’s only twenty-three and barely balancing university with a part-time job. Twenty-three and still nowhere near being the perfect son his mom deserves. Twenty-three and fucking pregnant with an alpha’s kid when they aren’t even dating, let alone mated.
He can’t imagine himself walking around campus with a baby bump while people whisper behind his back and run their mouths about him.
And what about work? Can pregnant people even work at cafés? Come to think of it, he’s never actually seen a pregnant barista before. Okay- He’s spiraling now.
Wonbin squeezes his eyes shut for a second and exhales shakily. He doesn’t even have a bump yet. It’s not like people can tell he’s carrying a child from his pheromones right now either. He still has time to figure out what the fuck he’s supposed to do. It’ll work out somehow. He has to be fine...Right?
Eventually, he turns off the water and steps out of the shower. His reflection in the fogged-up mirror looks vague and distorted. He wipes across it lazily with one wet hand.
His own eyes stare back at him. His eyelids look heavier than usual, and his lips are slightly bruised from how hard he’s been chewing on them.
Then, through the reflection, he notices a fresh set of clothes folded neatly on top of the washing machine.
He must’ve been too deep in thought to notice Sohee sneaking back in to leave them there.
Wonbin has both hands wrapped around the mug of tea Sohee had ready for him, guiding him straight to the tiny dining table the moment he stepped out of the shower. The younger beta sits across from him now, eyes fixed intensely on Wonbin, hands interlocked in front of his mouth like he’s trying to analyze every little thing about him. He’s been doing that for the past few minutes.
“What?” Wonbin deadpans.
Sohee visibly deflates for a second, like he’s struggling to hold back all the questions piling up inside him. “It’s just…” the beta drags out the words, only to trail off again.
Wonbin sighs. “You can ask, you know?”
That seems to flip some invisible switch inside Sohee because he immediately blurts out, “Okay, first of all, how far along are you? How long have you known? Who else knows about this?”
His mouth stays slightly open afterward, like there are at least ten more questions waiting to come out before he forcefully stops himself. He’s kind of adorable, Wonbin thinks.
“Apparently I’m five weeks along, but I’ve only known for a week. I went to the doctor yesterday because I was hoping all the tests I took were somehow wrong,” Wonbin lets out a dry laugh. “You’re the first person I’ve told.” Then he eyes Sohee for a second before adding, “Though seeing you look this stressed about it is making me wonder if telling you was actually the right call.”
Wonbin’s joking, mostly, but he notices the slight furrow forming between Sohee’s brows almost immediately.
“So if it wasn't for your condition earlier, you would’ve kept this a secret from me too?” Now Sohee is visibly sulking, and Wonbin quickly realizes he’s not joking his way out of this one.
Alright then. Serious conversation it is.
“I haven’t known for that long either, I’m telling you,” Wonbin groans. “At first I thought my stomach was messed up because I ate that rice we accidentally left on the stove overnight, like last time. But then I kept feeling like shit for weeks and figured it couldn’t just be that.”
He fiddles with the mug handle nervously before continuing. “Then I remembered I had my heat not too long ago, and I started wondering if maybe it could be… you know.”
Wonbin lowers his eyes into the steam rising from the tea. “I only took the first pregnancy test just in case. I seriously didn’t think it’d actually come back positive, so obviously I started freaking out after that.” His voice gets quieter near the end. “I would’ve told you sooner, it’s just… I don’t know. I guess I wasn’t really in the right headspace for it.”
Trying to avoid Sohee’s piercing stare, Wonbin practically buries his face in the mug. Seriously, who would’ve thought having a pregnancy conversation with your best friend could feel this painfully awkward?
“Well, I guess that explains why you’ve been skipping meals lately.” Sohee rubs at his temple with a sigh. “I mean… these things can happen, right? You were in heat after all, so…” He trails off awkwardly before forcing himself to continue. “It’s not like it’s the end of the world.” And it’s almost funny because the way he says it carries none of the reassurance he’s trying to give.
“But who’s the alpha?” Oh, shit. There comes the inevitable question.
Wonbin had actually seen the alpha earlier that same night. Or well, more accurately, he’d gone wandering around campus looking for him. Dark clouds had already started gathering over the afternoon sky by then. In Wonbin’s hands, buried in his pocket, was a small strip of thermal paper with the ultrasound printed on it. The nurse had handed it over with a bittersweet smile plastered across her face. She hadn’t looked much older than Wonbin himself. An omega too, just like him.
There hadn’t been much visible on the scan.
“It’s still very early, so we can’t clearly see the embryo or heartbeat yet, but this right here is the gestational sac.” She’d explained a lot more after that, but at some point Wonbin had stopped properly listening. “We’ll probably have you come back in one to two weeks for another scan. And don’t hesitate to bring someone with you!”
That was the last thing he fully registered, and somehow that last part alone had made his headache even worse.
The breeze roaming through campus had been cold that evening. The alpha was standing right outside the main building with a few friends Wonbin vaguely recognized. Wonbin had kept his distance the entire time, making sure none of his pheromones drifted close enough to reach the group. That also meant the alpha’s scent never reached Wonbin either. And for some stupid reason, part of him wished it had. Maybe then his chest wouldn’t have hurt so much when he finally decided to turn around to leave.
There’d been no point approaching him. Wonbin already knew that. Still, somehow his feet had carried him there anyway, instincts desperately seeking out some kind of safety after his whole world suddenly came crashing down.
“It’s…” Wonbin sighs deeply. Did he ever take the ultrasound picture out of his windbreaker pocket? It’s probably spinning around in the washing machine by now- all crumbled up and ugly now. “It’s Jung Sungchan’s.”
“WHAT?” Sohee practically jumps out of his seat. “Is this a joke or are you actually serious?”
His eyes are so wide Wonbin thinks they might genuinely pop out of his head. “Why the hell would I joke about that?” Wonbin grimaces.
“Wait, are there multiple Jung Sungchans I don’t know about? We are talking about the same guy, right? Like, tall, rich, business-major Sungchan?”
Wonbin’s expression twists even harder. “What’s with the description?”
“Seriously, this is insane.” Sohee’s already pacing around the table now, nervously chewing on his bottom lip while rambling through increasingly ridiculous theories. “How does something like this even happen? Like, how do you just spend your heat with Jung Sungchan? Are you guys secretly dating or something?”
“We’re not,” Wonbin says quickly. “He doesn’t even know.” A humorless little laugh slips out of him, though his pheromones sour faintly with the words, something Sohee thankfully can’t pick up on.
Sohee stills for a second. “When are you gonna tell him?”
Wonbin doesn’t answer. Because honestly, that exact question has been tearing his brain apart nonstop for days now.
“Hyung, look, I’m not trying to pry,” Sohee says more carefully this time, “but I kinda need to know what’s going on between you two before I can even say whether you should tell him or not.”
It’s only natural for Sohee to be curious. Wonbin can’t really blame him for asking after dropping something this huge onto him out of nowhere.
“He’s just a sunbae,” Wonbin says quietly. And somehow that simple answer only makes Sohee look even more nervous. He goes back to picking at his lip while silence settles between them. The washing machine is still running in the background, the dull mechanical noise filling the apartment. It’s strangely comforting. A distraction from all of this.
“I don’t know if it’s actually true or not, but…” Sohee lets out a tired sigh before continuing. “People have been saying he’s already betrothed to someone. I’m pretty sure everyone on campus knows about it at this point, so I just don’t understand why…”
“Why I’d sleep with him?” Wonbin finishes quietly.
“NO! I mean, yes, but no!” Sohee immediately blurts out. “I’m not blaming you here, obviously. I just don’t get why he’d ambush an omega in heat when he’s already set to marry someone else. Isn’t that completely fucked up?” Sohee looks genuinely stressed, and honestly, Wonbin finds his wording a little funny- Ambush. I mean… in some ways, Sohee isn’t exactly wrong.
Even before all this, Wonbin had admired the older alpha. Who on campus didn’t? Sungchan was basically the textbook definition of the perfect alpha. Tall, broad shoulders, dominant pheromones strong enough to make heads turn the second he walked into a room. And despite the intimidating aura, he was surprisingly easy to talk to.
Well, not exactly some social butterfly or anything, but as a business major he clearly understood the importance of networking, so more often than not he’d be surrounded by people anyway.
Wonbin had only been one admirer among many. The only difference was that, thanks to their overlapping majors, he ran into Sungchan far more often than most people did. Wonbin majored in marketing while Sungchan studied business management, so whether it was around campus or at networking events, the older alpha kept appearing in his life one way or another. And so—
“Hyung.” Sohee waves a hand in front of Wonbin’s face, snapping him out of his thoughts. “Did you even hear what I said?”
“Sorry. No,” Wonbin admits.
“I asked what you’re gonna do with the baby.”
Wonbin mentally cringes at the word. Baby, huh?
It’s like his brain had been actively avoiding that territory altogether, refusing to fully acknowledge the thing growing inside him as something alive. As a baby, at that. It could barely even be called that yet. Right now it was just a sac, for fuck’s sake.
Wonbin starts jittering one leg anxiously beneath the table.
For the past week he’s been so focused on the physical symptoms that he’s practically ignored the reality of it all. But now it’s finally sinking in that there’s actually something inside him. Is someone the right term to use, maybe?
He tries to picture it for a second. His life if he decides to keep it. What would that even look like? Having a kid? Wonbin has never, not even jokingly, imagined himself pregnant before. Let alone as someone’s parent. That entire world feels completely foreign to him.
But one thing he does know for sure is that sooner or later, all this pressure is going to crush him. Realistically, he’d still be able to attend classes like usual for now. He could probably keep working evenings and weekends too, just like he always does. Sure, he’d be nauseous and exhausted while doing it, but it’d still be manageable. At least for a while.
Because even if Wonbin doesn’t know much about the technical side of pregnancy, he knows it’s only a matter of time before he can’t keep up with the pace he’s been forcing himself to live at ever since moving out.
Would he have to take a break from university? That alone would mean graduating later than he planned. And as understanding as his manager usually is, Wonbin seriously doubts he’d be allowed a break long enough to survive pregnancy, give birth, and somehow take care of a newborn afterward until he figured things out. So he’d probably lose his job too. And even if it’s technically just a part-time café job, Wonbin picks up as many shifts as possible just to afford living like a somewhat normal student. If he loses that too, then what? Would he have to move back in with his mom? The thought makes his stomach twist.
Suddenly, a random memory surfaces in his mind. His mom had been on the phone with her niece once, Wonbin’s older cousin, the one who used to constantly talk about wanting kids back when Wonbin was still in high school. Wonbin hadn’t really been paying attention at the time, but somehow one thing his mom said had stuck with him.“Babies are only a blessing when you already feel fulfilled yourself. So make sure you’re at a point in life where you’ve done everything you wanted for yourself before having them. Raising kids is expensive, you know.”
After saying it, she’d looked over at Wonbin and raised an eyebrow jokingly. Wonbin had only smiled faintly at her back then.
Wonbin was raised by a single omega mother, and some of his earliest memories are of her rushing to his kindergarten right after work to pick him up. Most days, they’d stop by the little park on their way home, and Wonbin would get to choose whatever snack he wanted from the convenience store nearby.
Back then, he was just happy about the snacks and the playground. Happy to call for his mom to watch him while he so so bravely went down the slide that the bigger kids on the playground used.
As he got older, though, Wonbin realized those moments had probably been compensation in his mother’s eyes. She must’ve felt guilty about him always being one of the last kids left waiting to get picked up. Guilty that no matter how hard she worked, there were still things she simply couldn’t provide for him on her own.
Those are probably the parts his mother remembers when she thinks about Wonbin’s childhood. The hard times. Barely getting by. Enduring a shitty, borderline perverted boss just to support their family of two.
But when Wonbin thinks about his childhood, that’s not what comes to mind first.
He remembers the smell of home-cooked meals filling their tiny apartment. He remembers clumsily walking around in the heels his mother wore to work, his tiny feet drowning in shoes far too big for him, all while his mom was laughing at the sight from the kitchen. He remembers the calming pheromones she’d wrap him in every night while tucking him into bed and the sweet lullabies.
Despite everything, Wonbin had a happy childhood. There’s the faintest sting of tears gathering in his eyes.
“I think I’m gonna keep it.”