Work Text:
Zuko rested at the edge of the wooden dock, although it didn't feel like resting. His muscles tensed and ached against the hard, brisk gust of wind as it grazed along his pale skin. His arms were tired from their previous endeavors. His chest felt heavy, though he knew there wasn't anything wrong. But, to him, there was always something wrong.
His calloused fingertips gripped along the tips of the splintery wood, dangling his equally tired legs off of the edge. The group had done a lot of walking that day. Zuko began to take a deep breath in and out to try to ease some of that tension in his body, when all of a sudden he felt the ever-so-recognizable thumping of footsteps approaching him from behind against the wooden planks.
"Hey, Zuko, we just got done pitching the tents and setting up a fire. Just figured I'd let you know." Zuko could feel Sokka standing behind him.
There was a light pause, as Zuko didn't answer. Most of the time he wouldn't have answered anyway, but this time it felt extra off.
"Is… Something wrong?"
Sokka took to sitting next to Zuko criss-crossed, lightly handling the edge of the dock from overtop of his legs. He observed Zuko, although he didn't want to make it obvious he was staring at him.
Zuko seemed to stare unconsciously out into the slowly sinking sunset. The water gracefully reflected off of his golden-yellow eye and along his defined jawline.
"I'm fine." He managed to say.
"I don't wanna push anything, but… You don't look fine. Like, at all. You seemed a bit off while we were coming back from that village after those Fire Nation soldiers attacked." Sokka was oddly concerned.
Zuko slowly blinked, pressing his lips together. Sokka was right. Something was off, but Zuko couldn't track down what it was in his mind. He could feel Sokka's bright blue beady eyes all over him, thinking it'd make it awkward if he looked back. He glanced down into the water, noticing their silhouettes bouncing off of each other within the tides. He blinked again.
"Do you remember what your Mother was like?" Zuko sheepishly asked, though it really wasn't what he actually wanted to ask.
Sokka paused, surprised. "I'm not sure. I hardly remember anything about her. Her and Katara were a lot closer than I was with her… It's complicated."
"Why do you ask?" Sokka managed to briefly find Zuko's gaze.
Zuko blinked. "I don't know. I guess I just never knew my life without my Mother up until… That day. I always searched to find my honor and respect within my Father's custody that—"
Sokka rolled his eyes, cutting Zuko off. "Pshhh, honor, honor, honor, I get it. That's all you ever talk about. So what if he doesn't have your approval? That's his problem."
Zuko huffed. "It's not that simple, Sokka."
Sokka turned his body towards Zuko, hanging one calf off the side as his foot barely touched the water below, creating light ripples. "But it is, though! You just can't comprehend it because you're stuck on autopilot. You don't need to think like that anymore. You have us now."
Zuko's muscles felt more tensed than ever as he sat up straight as a board. His focus didn't leave the now lightly stirred up waters below them as he still felt those admittedly lovely sky blue eyes travelling all over him. It made him sick to his stomach.
"If your Father did something like this," Zuko suddenly turned his face to Sokka's to point at his scar, "to you, wouldn't you feel ashamed? Humiliated?"
Their faces were close now. Closer than usual. Their shoulders just barely touched as Sokka's knee lightly grazed over Zuko's thigh.
Although a bit shocked, Sokka furrowed his brows, stern. "If my Father burned off half of my face, I'd never forgive him. I'd never even want to speak to him ever again if he did something like that to me."
Almost like an instinct, Sokka dropped his serious demeanor, sighing as he reached up to lightly cup Zuko's face, which drastically threw him off. He noticed Zuko's face was immediately warmer than usual as he glided a finger over his scar.
"You don't have to think like that anymore, Zuko. That's what I keep trying to tell you. You're still so gruff and stern, not letting yourself shake it off for even just a moment. It doesn't matter if what you do is 'honorable' to your Father or not. You do what you feel like is right for you. You already accepted that you wouldn't be going back."
"But… What if it's… Hard?" Zuko caught a strange lump in his throat. He started to remember what he actually wanted to ask Sokka.
"That's life, baby. Life is hard. Really hard. But you can get through it. You're one of the strongest people I've met in a long time. Inside and out. I think I'd go crazy if I went through even half of what you've been through."
Sokka took great advantage of the moment, beaming at Zuko's miserable, yet beautiful face. The scar that expanded over his features was the most attractive thing about him, whether Zuko agreed or not. Sokka often found himself staring at it, but not in a judgemental way. He liked the fact that Zuko wasn't perfect. Not that Sokka found him attractive, though, or at least what he wouldn't admit to himself.
Sokka's grin began to fade as he realized how watery Zuko's eyes were under the incoming moonlight, and how much warmer his face had gotten since Sokka touched it. Not concerningly warm, just… Pleasant.
"I- I'm sorry—"
Zuko practically fell into Sokka's chest, forcing Sokka's hands to embrace him as he started to lightly heave. "Hey, it's alright, bud. You're safe with me."
Zuko felt so small. So miniscule. It wasn't fair to him that he had to sink into someone else's arms in order to even feel remotely safe, and especially at his grown age. He was ashamed of it. It felt like there were a thousand eyes all staring at him, only making him shrink into Sokka even more.
Sokka gently felt along Zuko's soft, jet-black hair as he firmly held onto his back, like if he let go Zuko would turn into a giant flaming fireball on the dock. He thought back to the times when he would hold Katara like this when they were younger, leaning the side of his head onto Zuko's.
He felt every shiver, every straining hic that came from Zuko's throat. The way his hands trembled gripping onto Sokka's top. Sokka could feel Zuko's feisty tears wetting his slightly exposed chest. He could tell he hadn't cried like this in a long time, and was glad that Zuko knew he was safe to be vulnerable around him. Though, it made Sokka morbidly curious in a way to view him in this kind of a light now that he was being so vulnerable.
After another sorrowful minute went by, Zuko recovered as he brought his face back to Sokka's, sniffling. Sokka kindly wiped away any astray tears on Zuko's face.
"Better?"
Zuko nodded as he woefully looked away, beyond embarassed. He had no right to do that. Sokka was just an ally, not someone he could confide in about his troubles. Though, Sokka was very comfortable…
"Why did you let me do that?" Zuko didn't look at him, rubbing his blinded eye.
"Because I care about you? Zuko, why do you think I do most of the things I do?" Sokka tried to joke, though it came off a bit egocentric.
Zuko swallowed hard, not answering. He felt like such a fool for even letting that happen. He swore to himself he'd never do it again. It was such an intimate thing between two simple allies, and—
Zuko's panic was quickly overrun by the feeling of Sokka's hand weaseling into Zuko's. He didn't fight it, but it caught him a bit off-guard.
"What're you—"
"Shh."
Sokka let the almost comforting silence brew between them as the two watched the sun fully set. Sokka noticed the welcoming elegance of the moon's presence overtop of them, tightening his grip on Zuko's hand ever so slightly. Zuko simply stared straight ahead towards the rim of light still fighting against the horizon.
"Y'know, sometimes I wonder what she's doing up there. If anything at all." Sokka started, trying to distract Zuko from whatever he could've possibly been thinking about.
Zuko glanced at Sokka, then up at the moon. "Oh. Right."
Their stare felt as if it were one, feeling like someone else was staring back at them. Maybe not physically, but spiritually Sokka knew Yue was probably up there giving them a gentle wave.
Sokka observed a little closer at the surrounding stars, and a certain clump piqued his interest. He suddenly leaned in on Zuko's shoulder, pointing up at it.
"Oh, wait! That's a constellation my Dad used to tell us about all the time. He said it was an ancient myth passed down from generations, and it resembles a fierce Water Tribe warrior with a hefty spear, ready to attack. The warrior was unnamed, but I always thought it resembled him in a way."
Hearing Sokka speak so positively about his own Father stung a nerve in Zuko's chest, but it was refreshing to hear nonetheless. Sokka went on about numerous other star collections, but he wasn't really listening to the stories and rather Sokka's voice itself. He was also more focused on how nice Sokka's mild touches and little quirks were.
No one had ever been as gentle as Sokka was with him. Sure, they had kind of a rocky, grisly past, but that was way behind them by now. He almost thought that Sokka was… Kind of cute. Even from the very start. He admired how passionate he was about everything he loved and his impeccable drive to succeed at everything he did, no matter the cost. He thought he was a little dramatic at times, sure, but he likely wouldn't think he was so funny or so incredibly intelligent and talented if he wasn't. He managed to make Zuko laugh a few times, which is something no one had done in a long time. Not even Uncle Iroh.
"S— Sokka, can I ask you something?" Zuko faced Sokka, politely cutting him off from what he was on about.
"Uh… Sure, what's up?" Sokka questioned.
Zuko hesitated, but continued. "Do you think it'd be wrong for a man to… Love, another man in the way he would love a woman? And vice versa, of course."
Sokka blinked, looking back into the water and rubbing the back of his head. "Well, I— I, uh, I guess I never really thought about it like that. I don't think I ever considered that as an option, honestly."
"I… Didn't either. I mean, my family never said anything against it, but… It was never an issue. Well, not— Not an issue, but… Hopefully you get what I mean." Zuko lightly shrugged his shoulders.
Sokka thought about it a bit more, and suddenly his cheeks started to feel really warm. The first thing that came to his mind was Zuko, as he was sitting there right beside him with their hands intertwined, sharing the same mutual energy.
Why have I never thought of something like that before? And especially with him… Sokka's cheeks flushed ever so slightly more at his own thoughts.
Zuko nervously stared back into the water. "I'm not sure why. I just— I've never had very strong feelings for the women I've met. At least, not in that category. Most of the time I would pretend so I wouldn't get bullied because I didn't have a 'girlfriend' like all the other kids did. I always assumed there was something wrong with me."
"It was very rare that I did find interest, like Mai. I don't know, it might be because every time I talk to a woman, all I can think of is my Mother or Azula. It sounds incredibly idiotic out loud, but it's true. They were the only female figures I grew up around when I was younger, and whomst I tolerated for that matter."
Zuko paused, blinking. He could feel the heat in his face slowly creeping up on him. "A-And, I know this might sound ridiculous, but—"
"I think you're the reason why I keep thinking about it."
Sokka blinked, suddenly feeling very flustered. "… Me?"
"Yeah. I—I don't know. Sorry, that was stupid—"
Sokka squeezed Zuko's hand, guiding his face back to his own. "No, I'm intrigued. Tell me more."
"I guess I'm just… Confused? It's like a whole new world was opened up to me, but I can't describe how it feels. I was afraid of telling anyone because I didn't want to feel any more alone than I already do."
"Well… You've got me on this journey with you, now." Sokka grinned, lightly stroking his thumb over Zuko's knuckles. "I don't think it sounds ridiculous at all. I'm open to try it."
"Try it?" Zuko raised his singular brow.
Sokka's cheeks flushed redder than they were, looking away. "I-I mean— Not like that! I just, uh… Actually, I'm not really sure. I'm also a little lost."
Zuko bashfully grinned. "I suppose we can find out together."
"Yeah."
The two met a gaze like no other that they shared before. It felt different this time. Zuko grinned slightly more at the intense blush all over Sokka's face. The moment started to intensify, until…
"Why don't you two lovebirds come and get some grub before it gets cold?" Toph mockingly yelled from the opposing end of the dock.
Panicked, the two looked at her as Sokka jumped so frantically he nearly took a dip into the deep blue beneath them. He then loudly groaned, facepalming. Zuko managed a light chuckle, covering his mouth.
"In a minute!" Sokka barked, watching Toph smugly strode away, waving a hand over her shoulder.
Sokka turned back to Zuko, standing up and lifting Zuko with him. He didn't want to waste the moment, hesitating slightly before reaching up to give Zuko a very light peck on his cheek. Zuko blinked, the slightest bit of steam escaping his nose.
"Come on. Toph is right." Sokka winked, leading a now very flustered and definitely more confused Zuko behind him, hand in hand.