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Kacey woke with her hair in her face. Making a noise, she stuck out her tongue to dislodge the mess of curls that had lodged there, and rubbed her small fist into her eye to clear her vision. The sun danced through the tiny window of the bedroom and tried to make her squint. Mama didn’t usually let her sleep this late—but Mama hadn’t come home before Kacey had gone to bed last night, so maybe something was going on.
She scooted to the edge of the bed and then onto the floor, yawning as she pushed her hair out of her eyes and walked to the bedroom door. Out in the kitchen part of the small cabin, Daddy stood at the stove, baby brother hanging from his chest in a sling, the black wing on his arm flecked with flour. He was frowning, but Kacey smelled something good.
“Hey kid,” he said, glancing back. “Good thing you slept in. Breakfast is...late.”
“Where’s Mama?” Kacey asked, stomach growling as she climbed up onto a stool.
“Not here this morning,” Daddy answered, and flipped the grain-cake in the pan.
“Why?”
“She’s busy.” Her brother started wailing, and Daddy grabbed for the baby bottle, still poking at the pan.
“Why?” Out of the corner of her eye, Kacey noticed a bug crawling towards her on the table, and she frowned. Those were the kind that could bite.
“Mama Julie is in...they have her on a grown-up time-out,” Daddy said, pausing a while in the middle of the sentence. “Mama’s staying with her till she’s okay.”
“Why?” Kacey reached forward to grab the fork on the table, eyeing the one-inch bug suspiciously as it moved closer to her. She could almost hear its little legs scrabbling. She hated bugs, especially the biting kind.
“Mama Julie got upset last night with one of the Twos—she had bad memories.”
“No, why’s Mama gone?” The bug crossed the line, and with a grimace, Kacey stabbed it with the fork. It made a little squeak as well as a squishing noise, and twitched. Frowning, Kacey stabbed it harder. The tines of the fork stuck through the bug and into the table. Satisfied, Kacey left the fork standing upright, a flag she’d planted in her conquered enemy.
“Well, you know, baby, Mama sometimes has bad memories too, so she can help,” Daddy said. He turned around, feeding baby brother with the bottle in one hand as he carried the pan in the other. “Do you have a plate?”
Kacey glanced up and blinked.
Daddy stopped short and stared at the table, the fork still marking the bug carcass. “You need to clean that up,” he said firmly, and nodded towards the rag on the end of the table.
“I don’t like dead bugs,” Kacey protested, frowning, her stomach demanding the grain-cake whose scent tickled at her nostrils.
“You kill, you clean,” Daddy said with a straight look at her.
Grudgingly, Kacey grabbed the rag and swiped at the fork and the bug. They both toppled, and Kacey wiped them off the edge of the table so that they tinkled down to the floor.
“Kacey...” Daddy sighed. Baby brother lost grip of the bottle and made a complaint, dribbling milk all over Daddy’s shirt and the sling.
“I’m hungry,” Kacey said, grabbing a plate.
“You need to clean that up first.” Daddy readjusted the bottle for baby brother.
“Why?”
“Kacey.” Daddy’s strict eyes weren’t intimidating on their own, but the power of Mama’s support was behind them.
Kacey’s brow wrinkled as she put the fork on the table, picked up the rag with disdain in her thumb and forefinger, and ground the bug into the dirt floor with the leg of her chair. She stared up at Daddy expectantly. He looked from her to the floor and back again, twisted his mouth, and then sighed through his nose and said, “Grab a plate.”
With a wiggle that was as far as she could approximate a smirk, Kacey set up her breakfast station. Daddy served her the grain-cake, then sat across from the table. Pulling baby brother out of the sling, he returned to feeding him with the bottle.
Since the fork needed to be washed, Kacey just ripped the grain-cake into pieces to eat, stuffing it in her mouth as fast as she could. “Do I need to go to school without Mama?” she asked halfway through.
“Mmhmm,” said Daddy, as baby brother finished, and Daddy started bouncing him on his knee.
“Why?” She didn’t know why, after she asked, Daddy’s brief glance looked rather like he was annoyed.
“Uncle Helo took my first shift, which means I can take you to school and take care of Shawn until Mama comes back.”
“What’s a shift?” Kacey said through a mouthful of grain-cake.
“Work,” Daddy said shortly, as baby brother burped and got milk all over Daddy’s pant leg, making Daddy sigh.
“When’s Mama coming back?”
“I don’t know.”
“Why?”
“Because.”
Kacey looked from her food to Daddy. “Why?”
“Because.”
“Hey,” Kacey protested at his stalling technique.
“Finish your breakfast, Kacey.”
“Why?”
Daddy just rolled his eyes and stood up to get a towel for his now-stained sleep pants.
“Why?”
“Ask Mama.”
There were other wars to be fought, and so Kacey decided to switch tactics and hope Daddy was distracted enough. “Can I stay home if I don’t eat?”
But Daddy eyed her strangely instead. “No. Why don’t you want to go?”
“Don’t wanna see Hera,” Kacey mumbled.
“I thought you were friends,” Daddy said as he mopped up baby brother’s mess.
“She poked me with a stick yesterday,” Kacey said. “Hard.”
“Oh,” Daddy said, and frowned. “Did you tell Miss Dee?”
“No, I smacked Hera.” Kacey swallowed the last bite of her grain-cake.
“What? Kacey!”
“Miss Dee made me stay inside all day,” Kacey said darkly. “Then Mr. Todd Two had to put a bandaid where Hera poked me, because it was too small for Doctor Ishay to see. Why does Mama Julie get mad at Twos?”
Daddy’s eyebrows rose and fell, and he didn’t answer for a second. He looked like he had a lot of answers but didn’t know which one to choose. After yet another sigh, he tucked baby brother back into the sling. “One of them hurt Mama Julie a long time ago. That one’s not here, but sometimes she forgets which one.”
“Is that why she goes away, sometimes?” Kacey liked Mama and Daddy, but when Mama Julie was there with them too, it seemed happier. She never stayed for a long time, though.
“That’s an adult question,” Daddy said quietly, rocking baby brother as he gurgled and sucked his fist.
“Why?”
Daddy didn’t answer, just stared at nothing. After a moment he breathed in. “Wash your face and then get dressed.”
“Mama said I could wear my pajamas to school,” Kacey said as she hopped down from the chair.
“No, she didn’t.”
“Yes, she did,” Kacey protested, giving him a look. Mama had done it once, so there was no way Daddy could know that she hadn’t also done it yesterday. “You weren’t there, but she said it.”
“I know what mood Mama was in yesterday, and no, she didn’t.” Daddy stood and walked around the table, giving her a little push. “Come on, don’t dawdle.”
Kacey mumbled a protest, but grabbed her pants. “Will Mama be home tonight?”
“God only knows,” Daddy breathed out.
“If she’s not, can I put Shawn in his rocker chair?” Kacey asked as she pulled her shirt over her head. “I won’t rock him out this time.”
Daddy glanced down to baby brother, now sleeping, and looked hard at Kacey. “We’ll see if Miss Dee has anything to report about you today.”
Kacey made a grumbling noise, and plopped down on the bed to grab her shoes. “Hera was asking for it.”
“We don’t hit people, Kacey, no matter what they ask for,” Daddy said, tapping his foot as he waited for her.
“Mama does,” Kacey pointed out.
“Mama is Mama,” Daddy answered.
Kacey might be only four, but she knew how to recognize all kinds of non-answers. She frowned. “Why?”
“Because.”
“I don’t like that word,” Kacey pointed out, seeing the glazed-over look in Daddy’s eyes that said he was done with this morning.
“I do,” said Daddy. He grinned, then, more like usual-Daddy, and leaned down to kiss her head. “Come on, let’s go.”
Kacey smiled to herself as she realized Daddy hadn’t made her comb her hair, still sleep-mussed. Daddy was gonna be in big trouble with Miss Dee. Kicking up her heels in the grass as they walked out of the cabin, Kacey decided to count this morning as a win for her.