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If Harvey is honest, it was that first pro bono case, the one he palmed off on to Mike, when he really contemplated the man before him.
Upon settling the case Mike's bravado softened and beaming he encased Nancy in a warm embrace.
For Mike, someone who had lost so much, someone who had been knocked down time and time again, he still cared and loved with every bit of himself. He invested in people. It was something Harvey couldn't understand, certainly couldn't do, but as he stood watching their interaction he wondered, what it would be like to be in receipt of those kind of affections, to be Mike's investment? He felt an overriding protectiveness over his naive protégé. Quite the revelation for someone so emotionally destitute he thought amused.
Harvey went out of his way to earn Mike's loyalty, he didn't realise he was doing it of course. He threatened Louis, rescued Trevor, lied to Jessica and was continually covering Mike's ass. Above all that, the most telling act was choosing Mike over his career. A career he loved.
Donna saw it for what it was but said nothing, she knew Harvey well enough to know that he wouldn't hear the truth. Not yet.
Harvey knew he was being protective of Mike, but he was his responsibility, not to mention an incredible asset that required his mentoring. He was just being a good employer wasn't he?
They were in sync, knocking case after case out of the ball park, there was mutual respect, push and pull, give and take. Hell, Harvey had even opened up about his parents.
Then Jessica threatened Mike, and Mike fearing he had no other choice, betrayed him. He was hurt. He was angry. In his mind he couldn't reconcile when he'd let himself get so emotional, he really shouldn't give a shit. But the hurt ran deep, reminding him of his own mother's betrayal.
When Mike confronted him, begging and pleading to be heard, Harvey exploded spewing venomous sentences about trust and loyalty as Mike stood frozen to the spot quite literally dumbstruck at the intensity of Harvey's rage.
Harvey turned away from Mike, hands shaking and vision blurring, he felt lost. It took 9 blocks before it clicked, the truth flashing in his mind like the Las Vegas strip. He stood gaping like a fish in the middle of rush hour traffic, "Jesus Christ, Harvey" he thought. He walked until his legs ached.
He was the best closer in New York, how did he not see this coming. He, Harvey Specter held a torch bigger than the Statue of Liberty for one Mike Ross. He was royally screwed.
There was too much at stake, their friendship not to mention work relationship. Although he was loathed to admit it, he couldn't see a way forward to Mike. Donna watched as he painfully struggled against the truth, silently praying that denial wouldn't win. Mike was seemingly oblivious. Harvey had dream after dream of Mike's rich laugh upon hearing Harvey was in love with him, 'good one Harvey' he would chuckle. No, he did the only thing he thought he could, acknowledge his feelings, put them all into a metaphorical box and throw it into the Hudson. Indefinitely.
He was wrong of course, Mike would never have laughed at him. It was when Mike got indicted for conspiracy to commit fraud, taking a deal and going to prison for him, that he finally realised.
