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“HARRY!”
Wow, Hermione was almost as loud as Mrs. Weasley who had been yelling the same thing for the past 20 minutes. Why did Hermione think Harry would listen to her instead? He had no idea.
“You need to fight! They are killing people and you are just sitting here! How can you do this to us?”
Wait for it.
“I knew you were a Dark wizard all along, traitor!” Right on time, they were so predictable.
“The prophecy…”
Harry heard enough, he silenced them both with a wave of his hand and continued to watch the battle. It was quite entertaining.
But, of course, Hermione wouldn’t be silenced. Well, she was but she didn’t like it, so she slapped him.
Harry didn’t even react, he sent them both to the Forbidden Forest. Since she was a big fan of sending people who annoyed her there, she might as well enjoy the same treatment.
“Are you going to send me away as well,” Someone behind him asked.
“Neville!” Harry said happily. “No, you can stay. Are you having fun?”
“Not really, but I’ve noticed no one on our side is dead, and only a very select few among the Death Eaters are dead. I don’t even know how you are picking them out with their mask on. Though, I guess Bellatrix was an easy one, so thank you for that one.
“I gave them a list and pictures,” Luna said as she sat next to them. “Colin had a lot of fun stalking them last summer.”
“Did I really see Fudge in there,” Draco sat next to Luna with the Greengrass sisters and Blaise Zabini at his side.
“Yes, you saw him,” Harry agreed, “but, I’m pretty sure Umbridge has some sort of proximity spell on him because I saw him try to walk away from her but he couldn’t.”
“Are we going to help him,” Astoria asked.
“She is on the list,” Luna assured her without explaining further, but Harry guessed they didn’t really need to, once she died Fudge would be free to do what he wanted.
“How did you get around the prophecy?” Someone finally asked.
“Ah, Dumbledore’s super secret power, Love.” Harry almost threw up. “He missed the spot there. To sacrifice everything in the name of Love, you have to actually LOVE the people you are fighting for. He has kept me isolated since that night. First, in the muggle world, then the Weasleys. That I’d manage to know what love was or to actually love anyone, was all very clear in his head. Not so straightforward in mine. I’ve only managed it three times. One of them is dead, and another one I’ve locked in a closet.”
“So, how are we going to win? Because, looking at the battle you’d swear they learned defence from the Weasley twins instead of during the DA,” Neville noticed.
“Oh, Voldy’s dead,” Harry brushed them off. “I killed him before they even got here. The prophecy said I was the only one who could do it, so I did. It didn’t say anything about the rest of them,” Harry shrugged.
Immediately Draco went to his sleeve to see if the mark disappeared. He didn’t feel anything. Taking it hurt like a Curtiatus Curse, no way was getting rid of it painless. His arm showed absolutely no sign of the awful mark.
“Now, I’m not heartless,” Harry assured them. “I’m not Voldy or Dumbles, I’m not going to let the “light” side drop dead just because they never learned you need to fight in a life or death duel. So, I hired people.”
“Yes, I met one of them. He was very charming,” Luna announced.
“Who did you meet,” Harry asked frowning, he didn’t exactly hire saints. “I thought you were in the castle.”
“He was kind of lost as to what to do, so I told him about the Giants in the forest,” She pointed out. “I think he is having fun now.”
“You remembered to tell him to avoid…”
“The green light,” Luna rolled her eyes. “Yes, I did.”
“Hum…” Blaise was at a loss.
“Giant green guy,” Harry pointed out. “He’s with us. Though I didn’t hire him. I think actual heroes heard about the fight and decided to be the “good guys”. Yep,” he pointed to another who just decapitated a Death Eater and “even heroes know you need to kill the enemy if they are trying to kill you.”
“So, which one did you hire,” Daphne asked.
“The dude in all red,” Harry told them as they turned to watch as Deadpool deflected a killing curse with his katana. “He prefers guns but I told him the battle would be over way too fast if he just shot everyone. He seems to enjoy himself.”
“How much did you have to pay,” Neville asked as they watched him decapitate someone else.
“I hope some of them are only partially decapitated or we are going to offend Nick,” Harry sighed.
“You didn’t answer,” Draco pointed out.
“Oh, he wanted a kiss,” Luna told them. “As Harry already has someone, I volunteered. He is a really good kisser.”
“You’re all even crazier than I thought,” another voice came from behind them.
“I thought I left you in the closet,” Harry looked at him with a grin.
“Trust me, we’ll get back to that,” the man told him. “I’m gonna go and have fun first.” With that, the man jumped into the fray.
The others watched as he already killed 3 Death Eaters before he got to the front line, then turned to Harry, who was watching his man fight with heart in his eyes.
“Annnnnnnd,” Luna stretched out, “we lost him.”
“Do you know who else he hired?”
“I don’t know their names but yes,” Luna admitted. “He hired the guy in red, the man with the ridiculous helmet, he can control metal, we told him our weapons are made of wood, but he didn’t seem to care. He brought friends.”
“Is this one conjuring flames?”
“Oh, no, he can’t conjure them, but if there is a spark he can change it into a big fire, It’s fascinating.”
Neville shook his head at what Luna found fascinating. “Go on,” he told her.
“The one in the black bathrobe with red clouds…” Daphne interrupted, “It’s called an Akastuki coat.”
“It’s clothes,” Luna waved her hand in dismissal. “None of the archers wanted to get paid, not even the villains. I think some of them think they are in some kind of twisted championship. For sure, the Elf and the Dwarf are using it as some kind of foreplay."
“Are they all villains,” Astoria asked.
“Oh, no, when the heroes heard Harry was hiring the villains and anti-heroes to fight bad guys, they showed up too. Technically, the archer in all black is a villain. I think the others are all heroes, but I’m not sure, I wasn’t introduced to everyone.”
“Is that why the archer in green is staying close to him?”
“Oh yes,” Harry, who finally shook himself off, told them. “That’s Oliver Queen and Malcom Merlyn. There is a woman running around here with a red and dark brown outfit with a hood, she is Oliver’s little sister but Merlyn’s daughter. It’s complicated.”
“Okay.” They all nodded, none of them were stranger to complicated, or minding their own business.
“Keep going then, I think it’s going to last a while still,” Neville told them.
“Where are all these people coming from? There is no way the Dark Lord had this many followers,” Draco complained.
“They are entertaining,” Harry shrugged.
“Probably the villains Harry didn’t hire who wanted to fight the heroes,” Daphne explained.
“How is everyone seeing the castle?”
“Oh, I lowered the wards,” Harry told them as if it was normal. “Hogwarts needed the energy to keep the younger year inside and safe.”
“You did what?” The Slytherins cried out in unison.
“It’s not as if anyone not present will know. As soon as it’s over, I close them back. But, the castle and the village are an hour from every muggle town, we’re fine.”
“The archers are way too fast and accurate,” Blaise commented. “It’s kind of sexy.”
“I know,” everyone told him.
“Who’s the guy in the funny colored outfit?”
Harry looked at Astoria with wide eyes, “How sheltered are the Pureblood from the Muggle world? Because that,” he turned to point at the man, “is the American flag.”
They all shut up not knowing what else to say.
“He is Captain America, he’s on the good side, but as you see, killing bad guys is still a thing for him, unless he can incapacitate them.”
“Are there bad guys on our side who come from his fights against villains?”
“I guess Magneto would count, Deadpool too, but they are more anti- hero than villains,” Harry admitted.
“What about the ones using magic?”
“Hum, the woman all in red is on the ambivalent side,” Harry admitted, “she is on the good side as long as no one goes after the people she loves. The one who's been offending Draco with his Slytherin/Gryffindor outfit…” Draco protested but he still glared at the man, “is actually a villain who turned hero, he is also a God of Magic. Ah suddenly, his outfit isn’t all that offending,” Harry laughed at Draco.
“The hunk next to him, conjuring elect…” Harry stopped remembering his audience, “lightning, is his big brother, also a God. He’ll tell you he is the God of Thunder but really he doesn’t make a sound just lightning.”
Harry's breath became cold. “Argh, I thought killing Voldy would keep them away. I’ll be right back.”
“Where did he go,” Astoria asked.
“Dementors,” they all answered.
Harry cast a sonorus on himself; “Vixen cover the muggles helping us from the Dementors. No one without a magical core is getting close to them. Strange if you open a portal, I will hang you by your cloak at the top of the quidditch post.”
Someone yelled about him finally getting off his ass. But, he didn’t care, he didn’t like the Dementors and he didn’t want the Muggles helping to get kissed.
Finally he made it to the limit and saw even some of the Dark supporters came to help with the Dementors, not that Harry needed them. As everyone cast their Expecto Patronum, Harry shook his head and changed into his Animagus. It’s wonderful what you can do when you really don’t like Dementors.
Harry’s Animagus wasn’t any animal, no Harry was Prongs, his Prongs, a giant opalescent stag who rushed to the Dementors parting them easily, and killing the ones who were stupid enough to not fly away fast enough.
When he changed back he ignored everyone and went back to sit on the stairs.
“I feel like we missed something,” Draco said, his voice showing his little panic.
Luna shook her head, she will hex anyone who asked.
“Who is Strange,” Daphne decided to change the subject.
“Sorcerer Supreme, he is supposed to supervise and fight every threat to Earth,” Harry explained, “We’ve been having words about what he’s been doing for the last 7 years. Technically, as Voldy is dead he should be gone,” Harry pointed at a man wearing a blue outfit like nothing they saw before and a red cloak which seemed to do its own thing. “I guess he still feels a tiny bit guilty.”
“With how you went after him, I don’t think he will leave any time soon,” Luna laughed.
“This is getting tedious,” Harry sighed. “Are they ever going to give up? Draco, I think your father is in a bit of tight spot,” Harry informed his friend.
“Is the guy fighting him a hero or a villain?”
Harry turned to look.
“You need glasses, and a feminist class” Harry told him. “She’s not a guy. And, she is one of the heroes.”
“I think it would be ironic if he was taken down by a villain,” Draco sighed.
“That can be done,” Harry smiled at him, casting another sonorus. “Widow, stand down. I have a special request for him.” They all could see Lucius feeling relieved until Harry finished speaking. “Drag him off to one of the true villains.”
Harry smirked at Lucius.
“Is this one drinking people,” Blaize asked.
Harry nodded, “ Vampires. They come from the USA too.”
“But, it’s daylight, extremely sunny even,” Draco pointed out.
“And?”
They knew when to stop asking him questions.
“Are they making out? Please tell me they aren’t going to have sex in the middle of a blood bath,” Daphne said, turning Astoria’s head.
Apparently gore and death was fine, but they needed to protect Astoria - who was 17 and an adult- from sex.
Harry observed them, “Hum…” he thought about it, “Probably not these two, no. They are good little vampires. But, I wouldn’t turn your sister’s head the side you did.”
“Did you hire crazy people only?”
“To be honest, I only hired maybe 15 of them, the others came totally uninvited,” Harry informed them. “I’m just glad they aren’t disturbing my afternoon by being all good and trying to reign in the villains.”
“Are you a crazy people?”
“Jury’s out on this one,” Harry nodded. “Oh, that’s the best gift ever! My man is so good to me.”
He could see the others looking at him sideways.
“What did he do?”
“He just killed Umbridge for me!! I love him so much.”
They decided to let it go.
“How are you keeping the heroes and villains from fighting,” Draco asked. He didn’t even look at his father since he was dragged away.
“That is a problem for after the battle,” Harry admitted. “To be fair, I did not invite the Heroes. Maybe a stunning spell at everyone still alive, send them away one after the other?
“If you want to do that now,” They heard from the side, “I think we’re done.”
“Some of the Death Eaters are still moving,” Harry complained.
“They were fed vampire’s blood, killed then bitten by a werewolf,” he explained. “They were on the list.”
“Wait, isn’t that Greyback?” Draco nodded to the side.
“Yes, Klaus had a lot of fun biting this one.
“What about Lupin,” Harry asked.
“I think he went after Granger and Weasley,” Neville admitted.
Harry brushed him off, “I knew he would. I want to know if he’s dead.”
“You know? We didn’t check the “light side” list, we just assumed the Death Eaters would take care of them.” He turned to see the other supernatural listening to them and nodding. “They are on it. Come on, stun everyone else,” he said, sitting next to them but cuddling Harry to his side. “I did not appreciate waking up in a closet,” he whispered to Harry.
“I did not appreciate your presence when I told you not to come,” Harry retorted.
“I was safe,” Damon assured him.
“Yes, because you’re a vampire and Elijah has been trailing you all afternoon,” Harry pointed out.
“He was doing…” Damon looked up at the shadow who fell on them.
“Yes, I was,” Elijah confirmed. “You were reckless.”
“Where are your family members,” he tried to change the subject.
“Magical blood got the baby vampires drunk.” Elijah answered, getting Harry up, sitting on the stairs elegantly before getting Harry back down on his lap.
“So, Klaus is on blondie security,” Harry asked.
Elijah nodded. “Stephan is rounding up the rest.”
Astoria finally stopped gapping at them. “Why was only one of them in the closet?”
Damon grumbled darkly but neither of his mates paid attention to him.
“I am immortal,” Elijah answered her.
“Okay,” she nodded. She was smart enough to know they would not have more explanation.
“Wade!” Luna cried out running to the man wearing all red with katanas on his back. She threw herself at him and he caught her easily.
“Just so you know,” Harry told the others, “he is crazy.”
“He is also covered in blood!” Daphne shrieked, though it seemed to be more at the future state of Luna’s summer dress.
“We all wash,” Damon looked at her with a raised eyebrow.
“Except Elijah,” Harry nodded.
“He doesn’t take a shower,” Blaise asked, uncomfortable with the pure power coming from the man.
“He doesn’t get dirty,” Damon and Harry answered together.
Draco began to laugh so hard he fell from the stairs.
“You’re an adult, Draco,” Daphne scowled at him. “And, I’m sure Harry and Damon know how to get him dirty, but it is a nice suit.”
“Sometimes we make him keep the suit on,” Harry grinned.
“Oh, no!” Astoria said, trying to hide behind Neville. “The Weasleys are coming!”
“You’re a witch, honey,” Daphne reminded her, before stunning them all in rapid succession.
“Oh, yeah,” Astoria sat back in her spot, smoothing imaginary wrinkles on her skirt. “I knew that. I just wanted to give you a chance to use your wand.”
Draco only laughed louder.
When all was said and done, most of the light side was either in the hands of the Goblins or at St Mungos, the Dark Side was either dead, dying, or in Azkaban. Harry wasn’t happy about the last one but he knew how easy it would be for them to get out of the ministry’s cells with how many people they bribed over the years.
Harry decided to move to the USA to be with his mates. Neville stayed at Hogwarts to do his apprenticeship with Professor Sprout. Draco and Astoria married and she was already pregnant. It was an arranged wedding, they could have cancelled it after the war, but they fell in love while running around being friends with Harry without anyone knowing. Luna met Scamander’s grandson, but told him “Wade was weird and non-negotiable because he needed love too”, a direct quote which Rolf shrugged off and the rest is not for young ears, Luna always commented no matter how old they got. Blaise found love in his travels. A nice little witch named Flora who liked working with Neville. Daphne refused to marry anyone, no matter how many times her parents tried to sell her off to a “respectable” family. Married or not, she had no interest in getting intimate with anyone. If they wanted an heir, they better hope Astoria had more than one child.