Work Text:
Yuuta would like to think he's gotten pretty good at understanding Inumaki Toge. He did have a consistent set of words he used over and over, with the same meanings—sha-ke, tuna, kombu, mentaiko. That, everyone knew. And lately, Yuuta's just found it easier to figure it out, when the meaning's a little more complex.
But every now and then, Toge will drop a new word.
"Tarako," he murmurs, soft and dry, when Yuuta handed over a vial of throat medicine without being asked. (Their hands brushed, and his heart skipped a happy beat.)
Yuuta blinks for a long moment. It sounds like a thank you, but usually—usually Inumaki never says thank you. He just nods. This is like getting a full formal Domo Arigatou and a bow down to the floor. What the hell.
"You're welcome," he manages. His voice sounds even worse than Inumaki's, it's embarrassing. He thinks he maybe sees a tiny crinkle of a grin at the corners of his eyes.
💕
Okkotsu Yuuta had known he was fucked, romantically speaking, from the start. Even before Rika's death, the other boys his age thought their relationship was weird and stupid, and Yuuta had just flat out ignored them. Being in love with Rika made him feel good, and he liked it. He liked it when they talked about the dates they'd go on someday. He already knew he wanted to get a good job so he could afford to spoil the girl of his dreams. So what if other boys were playing sports and beating each other up? He had something better.
And once she died… of course, he'd never stopped loving her. Not a single drop less. Not when she brutally inconvenienced anyone who even thought about being mean to him. Not when he found out she was a curse, meant to be exorcised. Not when he finally freed her and she went on her way… only to return, heartfelt, as a shikigami to fight at his side.
Yuuta really doesn't think he'd ever be able to love her any less. How could he? Love wasn't something so fickle that it would change just because her body did. She was still Rika, and he loved her.
He comes to realize, that may just be part of who he is.
He has more than just Rika, now. He has friends, and he'd barely met them before he realized that feeling was welling up from within. His heart fluttering, stomach squirming, delight and terror and overwhelming fondness all at once.
He was falling for them. Individually, but also sort of together. They were the first friends he'd made since Rika, and it seemed his heart didn't see any difference.
Panda, of course, is the one that clocks it. He gets Yuuta alone, not long after Rika's return as a shikigami, while they were still adjusting.
"So… not to alarm, uh, her," his voice gets a bit hushed, still not entirely comfortable with how to address Rika, "but… it seems like you and Maki are getting…"
Well, Yuuta thinks, it must be pretty obvious. There was no point in keeping it a secret. "Yeah, I have a crush on her," he admits easily. "She's so fierce and strong and dedicated, I'd follow her anywhere." He sighs, a big dumb grin on his face.
But before Panda can get the wrong idea, he continues.
"…I have a crush on Inumaki-kun, too. That one's more… I want to take care of him. Give him everything. I mean I want to take care of Maki, too. I want her to let me. But I want to kiss Toge on his pretty mouth and—"
Panda's looking a little alarmed at this point.
"…I have a crush on you, too, for what it's worth, but it's different. I… want to be someone you want to spend time with. I think you'd give amazing hugs. I want you to know you're loved, despite everything. I do not want to kiss you on the mouth."
"Oh thank god," Panda mutters.
"Not that I don't think you deserve to get laid. And someone out there definitely wants to. But, I'm not that much of a furry, sorry."
"Don't be sorry!" Panda rubs his face with his paws, definitely regretting this entire conversation. "I don't… think I would like anyone like that, I'm just a cursed panda. Wait, how does that work? You liking… all of us? Them. It's not a… conflict of interest?"
Yuuta's brows furrow. "…No? Maki is Maki and Toge is Toge and you're you. I don't want to date you if you're not into it, but I'd love to date the others."
"I've heard you call Rika your girlfriend a few times."
"Well, yeah. I mean technically she's my fiancée but I don't think we can legally get married anymore, so. Girlfriend is fine. Right, Rika?"
"I like girlfriend!" the eldritch screech from over his shoulder confirms.
"Yeah, see, she likes it. I don't know, I don't think I'm capable of liking people normally. Even if they don't feel the same I'll still probably be in love with them. Like you," and he reaches up to ruffle the fur on Panda's head, then rub his ear a few times, sweetly.
Panda doesn't know what to say to that, but from then on, he didn't try and stop Yuuta from being physically affectionate when he could—head pets, ear rubs, tucking under his furry arm for a big hug. It made Yuuta so happy, and he started to notice something peculiar—the more giddy the crush butterflies made him, the easier it was to access his cursed energy.
"Well, that makes a lot of sense," Gojo points out. "After all, the initial curse you put on Rika-chan was strong because your feelings for her were so strong. She's always been sensitive to romance, growing more powerful the more you express those concepts—putting on the ring, kissing her, that sort of thing."
Yuuta blinks. He genuinely didn't think about it like that, he wasn't trying to do things to make her more powerful. He just… trusted her entirely to be what he needed, and the romantic aspects… well, that's just what he did? That's how he wanted to treat someone he loved. As sweetly as possible.
"Some people, when their cursed energy awakens through a traumatic incident, the energy gets hard-coded into that emotion. That can make things more difficult, since you end up needing to re-experience the emotion to engage your power, but… there's also the chance that you can grow beyond your limits on the strength of emotion alone. Hakari-kun is one of those, I'll set up a date with the second-years. Sound good?"
Yuuta nods, head bobbing up and down. "Has… has this ever happened before? A sorcerer empowered by romantic love?"
Gojo gives him a wide, slightly lopsided grin. "Welcome to being a Special Grade, Okkotsu. There's no one like you at all."
💕
He's exhausted. His eyes feel gritty and heavy, like they're full of sand, but his heart's going a mile a minute and he can't sleep.
This ‘training camp' that Gojo-sensei dragged them on is even deeper in the mountains, ostensibly to strengthen their skills as a team on unfamiliar terrain. When really, all they've been doing is beating the shit out of Rika to test her limits.
So yeah, sue him, Yuuta's tired. He can't feel his arms or legs, his vision's swimming, and yet he can't fucking sleep because Panda's a warm soft pillow to one side, and Toge—
Toge's staring at him. His expression is… unreadable, but he's down to just a t-shirt and shorts and his mouth is fully visible. Yuuta's eyes flick down and back up, fighting a guilty blush.
They don't stay up for long. He notices, because he's staring right at those lips when they move.
"Tofu?" he murmurs.
Yuuta blinks. That's a new word, for sure. He tries to figure it out, definitely a question, but what would he be asking…?
Toge taps right under his eyes. Oh.
"…Yeah, I'm tired," Yuuta says. "Just can't sleep."
Toge sighs. He leans a little closer, close enough that surely he can hear Yuuta's heart, pounding and pounding away. He grips the blanket of his futon, Rika's ring digging into his finger.
"Tofu?" he asks again. This time, he taps his own lips.
Oh. Wait. Wait, was he asking…
Yuuta nods, so frantically they almost bang their heads together in the dark. "Yes, yes… please. You can… you can say whatever you want to me."
Toge lets out a breathless, silent little laugh. When he smiles, the marks on his mouth stretch out.
He leans right in to Yuuta's ear. "Sleep," he whispers—commands—and that's the last thing Yuuta hears until morning.
💕
"What do you mean he has a crush on me?!" Maki's voice bangs down the hall, and Yuuta flattens himself against the wall by the door, heart thumping with adrenaline. He's not surprised that Panda's telling her, to be honest. They all know each other so well, he's the new guy here. And besides, he's not really trying to keep it a secret.
"He said he had a crush on all of us," Panda explains. "But, different. He's in love with each of us a little different."
That pretty much summed it up, yeah. No complaints there.
Maki lets out a sharp sigh. "Why are you telling me this."
"Well, you've never liked anyone before, so…"
"I don't like anyone! Not even him! I'm aromantic, I told you—"
"I don't mean you have a crush, Maki-chan. I mean you like him as a person. You want him to stick around. And, maybe, you wouldn't mind being loved, if it was someone like that, and they didn't care if you reciprocated."
There's a long, long silence after that. Yuuta tries not to breathe.
"…I'll think about it, Panda. And when I do, the one I talk to will be him, okay? So just leave it alone for now and stop trying to sniff out my emotions like a bloodhound." She doesn't sound terribly upset about, just resigned, and Panda's quick to agree. Yuuta just barely manages to hide behind the door before Maki comes marching out, heading back to her room.
"Sorry, Okkotsu-kun," Panda says, after leaning out of the doorway to make sure she's gone.
Yuuta sighs. "It's fine. I'm glad she knows, and she didn't immediately want to murder me, so I think overall that went pretty well." He smiles, then leans on tiptoe and rubs his face into Panda's furry cheek. "Thanks, love."
He can hear the fluster in his voice when he responds. "You—uh. You should. That's."
Yuuta waits, to see if he's actually objecting or just embarrassed. It takes a second, but Panda finally sighs, leaning over to lick Yuuta's forehead in return, sparking a delighted laugh from his lips.
"And, Panda? …You can call me Yuuta, you know."
💕
Yuuta isn't expecting to be able to contact home all that much from Kenya. However, Miguel's place has great wifi, and before long he's chatting away on LINE with his friends like he's not halfway across the world.
Panda finds texting difficult, but has no problem leaving voice messages or hopping on a call. Maki doesn't say much in return, but if Yuuta doesn't check in every few hours, sure enough she'll call to make sure he's alive. And Toge—well.
Toge has a lot to say.
Gojo has unlimited data, right? Sure. Yuuta's glued to his phone, even as they strike out further from city centers. He's learning so much about his friend that he's not sure anyone else has ever heard.
Yuuta stares at his phone, trying to figure out if this was a confession or if—
Oh my god. Oh my god.
Toge, do you like me?
im not answering that over text yuta
Oh my god.
💕
Toge sends him a sound file one day. No context.
Usually, he has Toge's facial expressions, the context, literally anything more than the sound of the word. He hits play, not expecting anything.
"Miso." Toge's voice is soft and aching, a little lost, a lot yearning. "…Negimiso. Yuuta."
It takes his breath away, leaves him shaking and unsteady. It's still early evening for him, but back in Tokyo, it's already past midnight. Toge must still be awake, turning this over in his head. In his bed. In his empty bed.
Yuuta calls him.
"…You miss me?" he guesses.
"Sha-ke." Toge sounds a bit mulish, stubborn and cute in that way Yuuta couldn't help but love.
"You miss me a lot."
"Sha-ke."
"Toge, I…"
His voice freezes up. The sound from the other line goes still, too. They're both holding their breath, waiting.
Yuuta swallows thickly. "…When I get home, I'm going to confess in person," he states. "I'll find some cherry blossoms, it'll be very romantic."
His phone dings in his ear, so he puts it on speaker and opens his texts.
i dont need that i just need you
The noise he makes is. A kind of helpless, stuttered laugh, followed by a sniff because Toge's definitely not the only one yearning here. He wants his friends, he wants his people, but he knows how important this mission is. He can wait.
Somehow, that's what his brain keeps looping over and over again. This isn't like the Night Parade, where he was at least there.
Just… one day, everything was normal. The next, Japan was getting swallowed up by a black hole of cursed energy.
Miguel drops him at the airport. The news has spread enough that the seats are practically empty; no one wants to fly into Japan now. The airport's packed with people trying to leave, their whole lives stuffed into a carry-on. Yuuta walks against the tide, hanging on to his sword.
It takes longer than usual to get to the Academy. Buses are running whenever they feel like it, and trains are simply abandoned. Understandable, given… what happened.
On his way, Yuuta reads both the official jujutsu sorcerer report and the one Principal Yaga compiled. The most important difference was, the second started with updates on his friends.
Panda had been taken by Headquarters, probably as a way to lure Yaga out. Probably, it would work. But it meant he was still alive, at least.
Maki was… severely injured, in critical condition, but Yuki was working on healing her and she was expected to recover.
Toge, though. Toge… had lost an arm.
It was his left arm, at least. At least. Yuuta thinks of all the JSL signs he's been memorizing, how he wanted to surprise him with—
Well. Never mind. From the looks of it, it's a miracle they all survived to begin with.
The official report makes his stomach turn, so he glances at the end to confirm he's being summoned and stuffs the pages in his sword case. They probably want him to kill someone important, someone only a Special Grade could handle—oh.
Itadori Yuuji. Hm. Yeah, that sounded about right.
Well, obviously he wasn't going to do that, so he spends the rest of his journey thinking about it, figuring out whatever loophole he can manage. And if he can't think of anything… he's sure someone else will be able to help.
The door to the dorms creaks a little when it opens. It always has. Yuuta has to remind himself to head upstairs, that they were technically second-years now, though with the world falling apart that probably didn't matter. Still, his room is… how he left it.
He didn't remotely think this was how he would be coming home.
There's a knock on the doorframe, and Yuuta knows who it is before he even turns around. Well, that and, with Maki in a sterile room for healing and Panda incarcerated somewhere… there really was only one other person who would be around.
"Hey, Toge," Yuuta says, trying his best to smile. His best, because… Toge did not look good. His lips were cracked and split, his skin ashy with blood loss, and… well. What was left of his arm was wrapped in bandages and seals, visible around the loose-necked tee he had on. A sweatshirt with a high collar was pulled over one shoulder, but he'd left it open, his mouth in full view.
It wasn't on purpose. Not anymore. He just didn't have anything left to hide.
Yuuta's sword clatters to the ground. He's there in two steps, then… his arms snake around Toge's chest and he hugs him close, burying his face in the crook of his neck.
"I heard Maki-san's getting healed… she was hurt pretty bad?" Toge nods. He's hugging back, tight enough that Yuuta can barely breathe. "…And Panda…"
"…Takana."
Yuuta presses a kiss to the side of his blond head. "And you. What are you doing, getting arms cut off?"
"Mentaiko."
"How are you feeling? Does it still hurt? Wait, should you even be up and about, it's…" Yuuta checks his watch. "It's barely even been a day. Shouldn't you be asleep??"
Toge shakes his head, still pressed tight to Yuuta's shoulder, leaning on him. "Okaka tofu."
"You won't sleep, or you don't want to?" Those are very different things." Honestly, Yuuta's been on planes for the past 20hrs, he's pretty sure he's been using cursed energy to stay upright for a while. He steps backward, towards his pristine bed, so he can keep Toge in a vice grip like this.
With his free hand—his only hand—Toge puts up his pointer finger and moves his fist up and down. It's not perfect without the other half, but Yuuta recognises the sign anyway—‘either or'.
He lets out a little laugh. "How did you know I was learning? I tried to keep it a secret." He gets his butt down to the bed and leans back, pulling Toge down on top of him. They squirm and wriggle until they find a comfortable position, before he gets a reply.
"I know you," Toge signs, pointing at Yuuta then pushing his hand outward, palm facing in.
Yuuta flushes at that. "So when I said I'd learn it, you knew I was going to start right away…?"
Toge pinches his thumb and forefinger together twice. "That's right." He follows up out loud, just to reinforce it. "Sha-ke."
Yuuta swallows. His heart feels… too big for his chest, his throat tight with emotion and tears pricking the corner of his eyes. He wanted to do it right, okay? But it was too late now. He'd wasted too much time. "I love you," he murmurs, voice trembling and uneven. "I love you… so much, Toge, if you'd died back there and I never got to—"
"Umeboshi," Toge says.
Yuuta's eyes fly all the way open and for once, he knows exactly what it means, right away. He can practically hear it—the four syllables hit the same beats, so closely that it takes a second to realize what word he actually said. Because, all Yuuta could hear was ai shiteru.
It would be a difficult one to sign, Yuuta thinks, in some corner of his head that never stops processing. You have to make a fist with one hand, and the other goes flat on top of it and moves in a circle. Signing either part alone would just be confusing.
But Toge already has a language, and Yuuta knows he has the unique privilege of being the only one with an… expanded lexicon.
He leans in and slots their lips together, though he keeps it brief, and sweet. Toge's mouth is clearly still healing from the fight. "I think things are about to get so much worse," he murmurs. "But at least we have each other, and Maki, and we'll get Panda back too. I'm sorry I left. It was important, but… I'm sorry anyway." Another smooch, this time right on the cursed speech marks at the corners of his mouth. "Love you, Toge. I always have."
"I know," Toge signs again, pointedly. But he turns his face so Yuuta can kiss the other side. "Ume," he says. "Umeboshi. Yuuta."