Chapter Text
You hear footsteps from the other side of the rooftop, audible over the thrumming of the CORE behind you and the sound of your own heart ringing in your dubiously-existent ears.
Clover got your message. That was good! Even if you were about to commit high-level treason, that was... that was good, right? They listened, and are coming towards you. Hopefully they'll hear you out.
"Ah, you got my message," you greet, because of course you would.
Clover tips their hat. It feels in character for them.
"Ah, you got my message," you greet, because of course you would.
Clover nods in acknowledgement. It feels in character for them.
"So you found me..." you begin, because of course you would.
Clover just stares. It feels in character for them.
...you're pretty sure those other three didn't happen.
"Ah, you got my message! Great!" you greet, because of course you would.
Clover gives you a wave. It feels in character for them.
Their gaze stays on you for a few seconds, bright as ever, before turning to the CORE, and you turn to match. Ah, all of its wires, and pipes, and technical nonsense that you don't have the right credentials to understand...
Still, it's breathtaking! And not just because you probably shouldn't be inhaling straight ozone!
"What a view..." you say, resting your wings on the overhang in front of you. "That large facility in front of us is the CORE... the main source of power for the Underground. Behind that is New Home. The capital city..."
You trail off. Right. Yeah. The issue. You can't believe you almost let yourself get distracted.
"...King Asgore's castle."
You exhale a long sigh through your beak, turning to face Clover. Their brow is furrowed now, head moving slightly in what looks to be a solemn nod.
As ironic as it is considering how much you've willingly not told them, you can't help but fess up. Something about how their gaze pierces through you makes it impossible not to be.
"Look, I haven't been 100% honest with you..."
Clover's eyes widen. Does this look like a betrayal? Oh, Angel, you're totally looking like you're betraying them, aren't you? Crap, explain before they get the wrong idea!
"My whole life, I was taught that humans are the enemy."
Of course you were. Chujin was especially firm about it. He talked so vividly of the Snowdin Incident that you could almost see the dust on the wind yourself, even if you weren't there to witness it.
"And I'll admit, you're not shy about defending yourself."
You... suppose it's fair. It's hard to justify taking a few lives, even if Clover never really posed a threat to you. But everyone wanted to take their soul, and they were just a kid, and...
And it's kind of hard to ignore the way their gaze pierces through you.
"During our journey, I sensed an alarming aura in you."
"And... maybe they were right."
It feels like an admission to your own consciousness. That you were too naive to see the truth. Clover's hand never strayed too far from their holster, even if you don't think they were a threat to you specifically.
And sure, they're a kid, but... lives are lives, right? How many people won't ever see their families again? Just because Clover decided it should be that way?
Hadn't you already tried to warn them?
"I've been trying my best to act nice, but... for a while now I've sensed an alarming aura in you."
"And it looks like they were right."
You try not to think about how Clover's expression doesn't change at all, or how they're staring at you. You really want to see better in them, but they're... not making it easy.
You suppose it's good they've changed a little, you decide, trying to see at least one positive. You can see their eyes properly for the first time, even if they look far more tired than any kid's should.
You warned them. And it looks like they improved. Just a little. So...
"But even with that prejudice drilled into my mind, I think I... I sense better in you."
...no, that wasn't it.
You're staring at Clover here, and as their gaze scans you like they're trying to figure you out, you can't help but wonder. What pushed a kid to do cause a massacre years ago... how Clover could so firmly counteract years of your upbringing just by being alive... stuff like that.
"But you... you never really came across as such. Though..."
You trail off again. Because that's not wholly true either, is it? As much as you want to believe otherwise, you've seen the way their gaze flickers. The way they scan everything around them. Like they're weighing the pros and cons of every choice in their mind. Like they're weighing the cost of a life in their mind.
They always had the potential to be... different, you could say. But that sounds bad.
"During our journey, I did sense a faint, alarming aura in you," you say, because it's better than 'you look like you could kill someone'.
Clover's expression does something complicated in response. You decide to keep talking before they motivate you to drop the subject completely.
You rummage through your back pocket for the first evidence of your complete and utter treason, wing eventually wrapping around a small glass syringe. The liquid inside pulses in your grasp.
You hold it out for Clover to see, and they give it that same look. Like they're scanning it, and by extension you. You're not sure how you feel about that.
"I had this backup plan in case you started a rampage, but... thankfully, you never did."
"I had this plan to stop your violence if needed... I'm... not sure if I should..."
"I had this plan to stop your rampage, but... I'm not sure if I should..."
...
"I had this backup plan in case you started a rampage, but... you never did."
Because Clover wasn't bad. You realise that now. They were just... complicated. Like everyone else you knew was.
You sigh, holding the syringe to your chest for a moment before turning around and throwing it over the building's overhang. It plummets into the abyss below. There's no crash to herald the fact that no one can prove you did anything wrong now, but it feels like a weight off your shoulders all the same.
"Phew. That feels... liberating," you say, and Clover makes a sound you think is a laugh. "I'm so sorry for keeping that from you. You're a good kid."
You don't think about how Clover pauses at that. You most certainly do not press the subject, no matter how much you want to. You don't think it's your place to say.
But you can try to help them. You can try to give them a better future, can't you? Even if it means admitting the other truth to them.
"Even so, there's... another problem. I don't think Asgore would agree."
You gesture vaguely past the CORE. It kind of just looks like you're holding your wing out toward it. You really hope the intention lands.
"You see, he needs seven human souls to destroy the Barrier. So far he's collected five. And he might try for another."
Clover's hand reaches towards their holster. Maybe on habit. You bite down the rush of fear that sends through you, because you doubt they were really aiming at you.
Your wing drops to your side.
"Now that we're this close... I'm afraid there isn't a peaceful way of confronting him."
It feels like an admission to yourself, too. You really, really wish that it could've been that easy. Part of you still thought that if you just showed the King that Clover was good enough, he'd give them a pardon and things would be fine.
But there isn't.
Because six souls would make people happier than five.
"I'm sorry."
You slump against the overhang for a moment, staring down into the abyss below UG Apartments. Your brain, ever unwilling to keep you on-topic, briefly wonders why they built an apartment complex right next to a reactor.
You hear Clover take two steps closer, and you turn around. Right. You had an offer to make.
You clear your throat, holding your wings out to them.
"I know this isn't the path you intended, but... let's... put all of this behind us."
You smile, despite yourself. Clover didn't look offended, so... maybe they'd agree. Maybe you could make this work.
"You can come stay with me," you continue, kind of getting lost in your own daydreaming. "Live out a happy, violence-free childhood! I'll teach you craftsmanship... and you can teach me marksmanship!"
You're not sure wings lend themselves to shooting a gun, but it could be fun to try! Besides, it'd mean that... well...
...
"You've gone through so much. More than any child should."
"You don't deserve to die this young," you say, continuing to talk even despite the fact that you're fairly sure Clover's already sold on the idea. "What do you say?"
Clover looks at you, their gaze piercing.
Then they look back at the CORE.
With a lack of reluctance you think is startling, they nod.
"Sounds good," they agree.
Clover hesitates for a moment, but they nod.
"Wouldn't hurt," they agree.
The silence stretches on long and heavy between the two of you, until Clover finally nods.
"...Okay," they agree.
Clover just nods silently. They don't say anything.
You jolt back on instinct, feathers floofing up slightly. You guess a part of you still expected them to say no, or that you'd have to plead your case more, or that- well, you suppose it doesn't matter!
"Really???" you exclaim, far louder than intended. "Wow- we're gonna have so much fun! I promise this is the best outcome for both of us!"
You clap your wings together, and Clover smiles.
"Well, 'roommate', let's go to Snowdin!"
You step forward. Part of you thinks you're going to hug them. The other part just wants to head to Snowdin before someone realises that you're very much committing an act of treason for Clover's sake and calls someone with more authority than you. But it doesn't matter, 'cause you'll figure it out, and Clover's reaching out to you too, and-
A piercing pain erupts from your back, like a knife straight through your heart.
"W-what is this?"
It's all-consuming, spreading from your shoulder blades to your whole body. You can't tell if you're actually screaming or if that's just all of the pain signals in your body crying out at once. Maybe the latter, because you had to force speech to return to you.
"Clover..?"
You can't get yourself to look down. Not at the wound, nor at Clover, who just made some sound in response that your brain can't fully process.
"W-why would you..."
...
...
...no, you know what happened.
you were an idiot.
of course. chujin was right all along. of course he was. you shouldn't have let yourself believe.
you feel yourself lifted off the ground. which doesn't make sense, because the human in front of you almost certainly wouldn't have the strength.
you guess
you
were
wrong.
you die.
you die again.
you die again.
how long is the world going to let this cycle continue?
...
Of course that didn't happen.
Because you're staring down Clover right now. Their hand stays on the holster of their gun as you try to pull yourself together, and you think they're going to shoot you before you can even say anything, but...
They don't. In fact, they nod like they're giving you permission to speak.
You're surprised at the respect they're showing. The respect they didn't give anyone else.
"So you found me."
You glance around the overhang, taking in the silence that stretches through the Underground in lieu of any hints of livelihood. You've never been able to stand the quiet. It's too... well, quiet.
"Pretty easy when there's so few left."
A quarter of the population gone. The others evacuated somewhere. At least the Underground would survive.
Surprisingly, this makes Clover react. They whip out their gun, finger on the trigger. The action swirls the dust clinging to their jacket.
For a moment, it's so thick that it kind of looks like they've already killed you. The thought almost makes you laugh.
"Not wasting any time, huh?"
You take a deep breath. You really thought they'd give you more time to talk before escalating things. You thought you had more time.
"You know... my whole life..."
You trail off, eyes focusing on the dust on Clover's clothes again. Righteous fury bubbles within you, fierce and unforgiving. You force yourself to keep talking despite that.
"My whole life, I was taught that humans are the enemy."
It feels like an admission.
"The truth stared right at me but I chose to look away."
Chujin was right about all of them.
"I tried to see the good -- I wanted to believe it wasn't true. But you..."
There's no good in Clover. You can say that with confidence.
(Maybe there never was.)
"Any ounce of 'good' you ever had is six feet under."
Clover makes a derisive hand gesture, their other hand still firmly on the trigger of their revolver.
You're sure it's supposed to be threatening. You're sure that you could manage a retreat if you wanted to.
But no.
Not here. Not now.
Instead, it just pisses you off even more.
"I don't care if your motivation was 'noble'. I don't care if it was only your twisted idea of fun. Nothing can justify your sins."
The syringe in your pocket feels heavy. The guilt of your inaction feels heavier. You press on. You have to say this. You have to do this.
"I ran. Twice I could've done something different. Tried harder... prevented so many deaths. But I knew that chance was slim. I'm far too limited in my current state."
For a brief moment, Clover's expression flickers. You think they might be... curious? That or they're challenging you. They're probably challenging you.
"But now... this is my responsibility alone."
You take another deep breath, and take out the syringe in your pocket.
You are going to die. You let this fact sit in your mind. You're walking to your death. In the best case scenario, you will take Clover down with you.
In the worst, well... maybe Asgore will deal with them.
But no one else has to die. You'll make sure of it.
"You should've finished me when you had the chance."
Before your admittedly-limited sense of self-preservation can kick in,
you jam the needle
into your arm
and implode.
they die.
they die.
they die.
they die so many times. if only you knew.
but they get the upper hand. they see into your mind. they get angrier.
slowly but surely, you fall apart.
if only the last thing you remembered was anything but yourself, reaching out to them for help.
wishing
they
were
anyone
else.
...
You snap out of your thoughts at the sound of footsteps. Gosh, Clover being here is making you think a lot more than usual.
"You made it! Great!"
You turn around to face them, and pause for a moment. Their expression is... well... kind of sad. There are circles under their eyes like they've been here for far longer than a day, and they step back as you look towards them, as if on instinct.
You suppose what you saw in Ceroba's basement probably didn't... help, but...
Something in Clover's eyes suggests that it's more than that. Maybe the enthusiasm you've been treating them with will help..?
You lean against the overhang, looking up at the CORE. All that beautiful, techy nonsense that you didn't go to school to learn about.
(So what, you were mostly self-taught.)
"What a view... That large facility in front of us is the CORE... the main source of power for the Underground."
As you trail off, you hear more footsteps. Before you know it, Clover is by your side, huffing as they try to pull themself over the overhang just enough to take a look with you.
Their expression hasn't changed, but it's nice to know they're engaging with what you have to say. Maybe they're not "out of it" out of it.
...You're surprised how clean their outfit's stayed, despite multiple falls and the fact they've almost definitely been attacked at least thrice.
(Probably more.)
You wish those vibes reached their expression.
"Behind that is New Home. The capital city. I asked around and was told Ceroba and Starlo headed there."
One of your eyes narrows, and you cross your arms.
"Guess she ran the opposite way of the Lab to juke her pursuer? The two couldn't have gotten far! I'm positive we'll find them! We'll..."
You trail off, looking down at Clover. Their frown has deepened slightly.
You suppose in a way this is going to be goodbye. You'll go to Asgore after this, and... well, it'll be the last you see of them. And yet you still don't think that's what's bumming them out.
You sigh, wings dropping to your side again. Ugh. You're not a fan of this whole mess.
"Whew, it's all setting in now. This is like... super intimidating, right? Not just me?"
Clover huffs, but they don't smile. You...
Well, you'd always planned to talk to them. Maybe in better circumstances, but... well. Now is now, here is here.
"I don't know when I'll get another chance, so I'll say it now."
You nod, a smile coming to your beak before you can stop yourself.
"You are a kind soul. One of the best I've met."
Clover flinches, like they can't quite believe what you just told them, and that kind of breaks your heart. They stare up at you, eyes dulled but no less piercing.
Of course you mean it. In what world wouldn't you? The notion that you wouldn't almost makes you laugh.
"Left and right you've been beaten and bruised," you explain; like it's obvious, because it is, "but you stay vigilant. You defuse situations and mend relationships... a far cry from what I was taught growing up."
Clover just nods. You kind of feel like you're in a competition for who's going to break first.
"Royal Guards are told ad nauseum that humans are the enemy. I only ever heard stories of war and our underground imprisonment."
Considering how Clover's mission was, by their own admission, to find the other humans, you kind of wonder if the two of you aren't that different in this regard.
"But you're different. If you can change my mind on humans, I know you can change Asgore's! After we defuse the Ceroba situation, we'll march right up to that castle, you and me! And then..."
You look at Clover's face for a few seconds. You wonder what kind of home could raise someone so effortlessly good.
"Well, you'll be on your way."
Clover's brow furrows. They're probably worried about you. Of course they are.
"But don't worry about me!" you say, unsure if it's meant to reassure them or yourself. "When Monsterkind is freed, we'll meet again on the Surface!"
There's probably a very important step in there that you're missing, but... well, it'll make both of you feel better to think about!
"By then, you might be all grown up. Wouldn't that be funny? Heh..."
You trail off again. You wish it weren't so close to goodbye. You haven't even really gotten to figure out what's nagging on Clover. You haven't really known them for long, but... they've changed a lot of your worldview. Really quickly, at that.
You think you'll miss them.
"Point is, I'm... glad you hopped on my raft."
Even if it went as catastrophically as it did.
Or maybe it's for the best that things went wrong. Maybe you wouldn't have changed your mind on humanity as much if they hadn't.
...
"Okay. We need to get moving," you decide, with all the weight of inevitability. "That way. West New Home. The elevator downstairs should take us straight there. After that... I'm not sure. I'd call for backup in a scenario like this, but..."
You glance, very pointedly, at Clover's Very Human Looking Hat.
"We're on our own. Outlaws."
You give Clover a smile.
"So, 'partner in crime', you ready?"
You kneel to be on their eye level, and bump your wing against their fist.
And they actually smile, and you know it's just a momentary thing but you feel like you've won something by making them do that.
"Let's stop Ceroba!"
you couldn't save them.