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You run so fast that you dismiss the person who was in front of you outside of FF ship.
Absolutely dismiss the fact that you are still wearing FF uniform and because of it you drive attention to yourself.Lot civilians see FF soldiers as calm,cold and serious people but you?
Your face is showing heartbreaking sadness,your tears can't stop falling down and your eyes despite looking front,they don´t notice anything around you.Your body go into autopilot and your legs taking you to place you could take break and take deep breaths.Somewhere away from this pain…from HIM.
You look like a mess but the thing is you don't want to even think about it.
You finally notice your favorite coffee restaurant,you go in cuz is more near then your home right now.You shut your life or work for now.Totally ignore fact that you will be probably fired.You join to FF to be with him so there is no lost anyway if you lose this job.It was hard to get that job but you manage it do it just for Caleb…
You did everything you could with him and this happened.
Long and heavy sigh coming from your mouth and you find perfect spot near to window to sit and rest.I guess in this misery day you find some luck cuz this was only free spot to sit.One table and two chairs but when you sit down with FF uniform and your state,who would even dare to sit next to you?
Your legs find finally rest after you sit on chair,your hands covering your face and you notice that you stopped crying.After killshot what your heart took,your brain took charge on your body and realize that if Caleb won´t be with you,all things you did and sacrifice are for nothing.
(What now?I am stuck in this world and I will probably never fall in love!I probably will lose my job as well and I can't go back to my real life!I am stuck here forever!)
You take a quick look on the window and see what a broken woman you become just for 5 minutes.Looking on table to find some tissue to wipe your face from tears but there is none.Not just that but as well no salt,pepper or anything that normally should be on any table in any restaurant.
,,Now I see why nobody took this table…,,you say with a low voice that nobody can hear you and try to find some in your pockets.Unfortunately there is none to find in your uniform so after a quick check you just gave up.
(Maybe I should just forget about everything and just start a new life?What else can I do,right?)
,,Maybe find new goal or something…what else I have left to do here?,,you sigh again and let your head rest on your left hand looking on window,with your mind be somewhere else and didn't even notice person standing front of you.
,,Sorry,is this seat free?,,you hear a sweet male voice asking you when you are in the middle of mind storm.
You look up to him and you realize who is talking to you.Man maybe your age but with a military uniform but not the same as yours.
Is this DDA uniform?
,,Is it ok if I sit here?I mean,every other place to sit is filled with people.This is only free.Or…is it too much to bother?Should I rather go?,,he asked again.
You finally realize what he is asking you.You were distracted by what just happened minutes ago that you forget where you are.
,,No,no,NO!You can sit here!I just…I was paying attention,I was…in deep thoughts,sorry.,,
with your hand you show he can sit in front of you and try to get back to this reality.
He takes a seat and says quickly ,,thank you,, and takes a little look.It seems he notices your screwed face.
,,You alright?Your face is-.,,he asks with a concerned voice but you cut him off.
,,YES!Yes…I am…is just.Is not tissues here and I can´t wipe my face so…,,you try make no such big deal and look away but he immediately search on his uniform something.
,,Here,use it.,,it seems he found tissue and give it to you.
You take it with a little smile,thank him for it and wipe your face and tears with it.
,,Rough day?Your uniform is the same as my old friend...I miss him,,he says with a forced smile and sad eyes looking down on the table.
You finally notice who is front of you.That face…you know you saw him before.Is that Caleb´s-
,,You know it is pretty weird to see other FF soldiers here just sitting in the cafeteria. Normally you all hide in that ship…ahem ..no offense.,,he cut your thoughts.
Is true.Is rare to see FF soldiers in civil or cafeteria like this one.FF soldiers are well known for cold and serious facade they put.If there are in civil,it is only for missions or guard…not wanted drink coffee like you doing just now.
,,You know,I gonna be honest…I wanted normally just took coffee and leave but…you work in FF,right?I didn't came here just enjoy drink but I have some bad motives cuz I just...iI really miss my friend…I just want to know if he is ok…that´s all.,,he say with obvious guilt in his eyes.
(Oh right...he is the only one who knows that Caleb is still alive.It was a painful signal,right?)
But think is,you dont feel offended or something like that cuz this is Gideon.He is not man who would use people for his benefits,opposite is true.He is TOO good-hearted for this world.And knowing his situation and how much Caleb meant to him,you can't be even angry if he wants just know if his friend is ok.Caleb´s fake death took lot emotion of Gideon.He truly cared about Caleb more then Caleb thinks…I mean,you cared about Caleb same way,right?He always had the power to get people around his finger…like you.
But be honest,you still feel little pain in your heart cuz you came in this place to forget about Caleb and not think of him again.You mentally sigh,in that moment waitress come to give you and him menu to choose what you will drinking.You feel very depressed from all this,so you choose everything what your eyes desire.Ice cream,hot chocolate and cheesecake.Gideon choose only macchiato but you can't unseen his surprised look when he hear your order but you don't care.You just need some distraction and satisfaction after all this drama and pain.
(Let´s get over with.I will answer his questions,eat my order and get hell out of here!Maybe a nice nap will refresh my brain and I will start with a new plan for starting a new life.Yeah,I definitely need a nap.)
,,So…you said your friend works in FF.Tell me the name of him,maybe I know him and I can tell you if he is fine.,,you take deep breath to mentally prepare for it.
,,You would do it for me?,,you can hear his excitement through his voice and eyes.
,,Yeah,no problem…,,oh,this will hurt…
,,Hi name is Caleb-,,before he finishes you cut him.
After all,you still need pretend that you have no idea who Gideon is.It is pain of ass,lying and pretend that people you meet are strangers to you even you know more about them then they know about you but what can you do?Tell truth?Yeah,like somebody would believe their world is just gameand you came from other universe just to get guy!And if they would believe it,do you get what existentional crisis they would have?Nah,lying is better to avoid any problems…or crazy stares.
,,-The Colonel?Oh right,I know him…unfortunately.He is fine,he has a girlfriend now as well…sigh…good for him.,,waitress just came to give you your orders and take the menus from the table.
You pick ice cream as first thing.Maybe that coldness will freeze your heart and you won´t feel such pain…you wish,but only thing it does to you is just taste pretty good.Man front of you can clearly see your discomfort after answering this question.He wonders why though.If it is his fault or if question was too uncomfortable to ask.
,,That´s good to hear,he is alright…You know,let me treat you.This all is on me.,,relief comes to his soul as well. He wants to show gratitude for this information.
,,You…you really don´t need to!I just answer one question,that´s all.,,you show that it is not necessary but it seems he wont have it.
,,Nah,I had a rough day too.it feels less heavy and lonely if I share...if it is ok with you,of course.I don't plan to have a date with you or anything,I swear!,,you know he wouldn't do it.
Gideon doesn't seem like that type of guy.And after having conversation with him,you can clearly see he is TOO honest.Wouldn´t hurt him lie little.You give in and accept his offer.You eating and enjoy ice cream,now for free but curiosity hit you as well then him.So you gonna ask question.You answer on his,so let's kill time and give little interrogation.
,,You said it was a rough day for you…what happend.I mean-If I can ask…,,you take another spoon of ice cream and look at him.
,,Sure ..I just...have some beef with my boss ..heh.,,he says that and is visible to see it was pretty bad.
,,I am sorry to hear it.,,you kinda have the urge to apologize.
,,Why you sorry?Is it not your fault,you know?,,is true,is not.
But whatever it was,you feel Gideon didn´t deserve it.Even you don't know too much about him.Something tells you it was not his fault.He just doesn't seems be to guy who would do something stupid and be scolded by his boss.
,,I know it's just...I feel sorry.,,is true,you feel sorry.
,,Is alright.It was more stressful then big of a deal anyway so…,,he took a sip of machiato he ordered.
,,So…if I may ask ...what happened to you?Did you have beef with your boss too?,,Gideon looks at you with concern and stares.
(Oh boy…Should I tell him or not that his friend is the reason why you are in this situation?Nah,I explain it but dismiss the fact that it is Caleb.)
You take a deep breath,your hands start to tremble but you try to ignore it.
,,Um...kinda...i mean,he...I...I was dumb...I was...I had...crush on him.Kinda believed we are meant to be forever...it was just my illusion in my head.He love somebody else...I just...I really thought I will be one who he will love-Ah,shit!,,you stop explain after your notice your vision get blurry.
Tears appear in your eyes,you try to wipe them but it is impossible.They keep falling regardless of your mind telling them to stop.He notices your sadness and realizes your big appetite you had for your order.It wasn't to satisfy your hunger but try to vanish to pain in your heart.
,,Oh,that...must be awful...I am so sorry,,is the only words Gideon can say.
You try to give lame smile even though your eyes still didn't stop crying.The conversation keeps being too similar.
,,Heh…why?Is it not your fault.,,still trying to smile and look at him.
,,Ah...I just feel sorry.,,he spit out and then realized what he just did.
You look at each other and start to laugh.
,,HAHAHAHAHAHA.,,is shouldn't be that funny that you just repeat same conversation but…it seems after both having depressing moments,your souls need little laugh.
,,Feel better?,,he ask you.
,,Kinda…,,you answer him and realize your tears finally stop falling.
,,Is it your favorite?,,he points at your almost eaten vanilla ice cream.
,,Yes,I come here often.,,you finish the last spoon of it and start eating cheesecake.
Then you look at him and mischievous ideas come to your mind.
,,Hey,wanna try it?This cheesecake tastes amazing!I mean,after all you pay for it,a quick taste test should be welcome,right?,,you took a spoon and took a little cheesecake pointing to his mouth.
Gideon starts blushing.You find it cute how such a big guy like he is so easily to be blashfull.
,,You don't need to-,,he wants to reject your offer but you won´t give up so easily.
,,Please,pretty boy?,,oh god…
(I am starting flirting with him?I hope I don´t make him uncomfortable!But…hell with it!If I should start new life,I need to take some risk as well!)
He starts to blush even more.He looks like a red tomato.With an open mouth he wants to say something but he stops himself sigh and takes defeat smile.
,,How can I reject that?,,he touched your hand and took your piece of cake.
Now you starting blush.Not gonna lie but Gideon has nice voice and face.He is pretty handsome,is waste his wasnt LI he is such sweet guy.He compliment to taste of cake and start laugh.Gideon find full situation funny and embarrassing and you feel same.
His sweet laugh makes you melt.Is like you are in heaven with him.He is so blushfull like a little puppy.You cant stop but admire his cuteness.
Who thought that will be Caleb's best friend who will make you forget about Caleb,right?But you don't want feel pain of heartbreak and you rather take this moment and feel bliss and happiness.It seems like little piece of heaven fall in this place and you stop caring about world around you.About what will be next…you just want keep dreaming this daydream for little longer with HIM.