Archive of Our Own

He and Satoru Gojo had a big fight during the second year of high school. They were both in a private, prestigious school. Gojo because he’s a Gojo and Getou because of his scholarship. Besides having their big fight, Suguru was depressed as fuck at that time and his academic outcome got so bad, that he got kicked out of that fancy school and was sent to most normal high school. Maybe the fight with Satoru didn’t help with anything, but it wasn’t the reason why he was depressed. It started earlier. He was disappointed with the whole world, he couldn't stand all the conservative bullshit and the general corruption of society. He felt anger, that he, like everyone else probably, growing up, believed that he would be able to achieve his dreams, if he’ll just work hard enough. In reality, however, the only thing awaiting him was working more than humanly possible, barely being able to afford survival and living in some broom closet called a micro-apartment. As he changed schools, he and Gojo lost all contact with each other.

After high school, Suguru was so numb from all the antidepressants, he knew he wouldn't make it to uni, or even if he did, he would probably just hang himself honestly, he was so tired. He found some shitty job, still lived with his parents so he could save some money. After he had saved up a bit, he took a course to become a personal trainer, because the gym was the only place where his suicidal thoughts were leaving him alone. In the meantime, he felt like his nerdy side suffered a lot, because most of his semi-friends were just people from the gym and they weren’t much into any other hobbies. Especially gaming. So, having some weird outbursts of energy he made a Twitch account and started streaming the same night. He had a camera for video calls connected to his PC, so he added face-cam to his stream, as he played some indie games. He got a good amount of subscribers, probably because of that face-cam. His chat was mostly flooded with questions about whether he was a girl or a guy or comments stating he was a fem-boy, until he sighed and showed off his flexed biceps. Then the chat always  turns into a completely degenerated state. But as long as he gets subs with compliments, he doesn't care. After becoming an official training coach, he quickly gained clients, probably, again, mostly because of his looks, to be completely honest. He moved out of his parents' house six months after starting to coach, renting a small place in Adachi. He worked all the next year, because he wanted to go to uni the year after that. He did. Four years after graduating from high school, he finally went to uni. Now he studies at the University of Tokyo, Japanese Culture, that’s what he chose, but he wasn’t certain if he won’t change the course to something completely different next year.

The school year started, everything was going smoothly, he actually felt less depressed than usual. He was now training only two people to have time for uni, he was also making some extra money by streaming whenever he had a free moment. One evening he was talking to the camera a little more than usual, as his loyal subscribers who had been with him for over a year, were asking what he was up to in the chat. He said something about starting uni, and since those who watch him regularly know he lives in Tokyo, it wasn't hard to guess where.

That's when someone in the chat asked: "So you study on the same campus that Six Eyes does?"

Suguru fell silent, blinking at the chat window. Six Eyes. That was Satoru's stupid nickname in every multiplier game they played, before their big fight of course. He opened a new window, entered the nickname in the Twitch search bar. The profile popped up, with Satoru's kawaii selfie as pfp and baby blue background. Over twenty thousand followers and over a thousand subscribers. Suguru quickly finished his own stream with some sloppy excuse. He made sure he wasn’t streaming any longer three times, before he let himself react. He started at the pfp for a full minute, then quickly found links to Satoru's socials. He totally was a small celebrity. People loves him. Suguru's heart was hammering against his ribs with a frantic rhythm that matched the chaos in his mind. Four years of radio silence, and now Satoru was just here. A digital ghost haunting the campus Suguru had just started to feel a semblance of peace at. He clicked the follow button only after logging into his private account. The action felt monumental, like a betrayal of his own survival instinct.

He didn't sleep that night. Instead, he fell down the rabbit hole of Satoru's online presence. It was a meticulously curated empire of charm. His Twitter was a constant stream of high-energy shitposting, interactions with fans, and photos. So many photos. Satoru, grinning on a beach in Okinawa. Satoru, making a stupid face while eating ramen. Satoru, draped over a gaming chair, that looked more like a throne. He was everywhere, and he looked happy. Gut-wrenchingly, blindingly happy. A bitter taste filled Suguru's mouth at the thought.

The next few days were a strange form of self-torture. Suguru found himself watching Satoru's streams, lurking in the thousands-strong chat, completely anonymous. He watched him play the same shooters they used to dominate, his movements fluid and his commentary a constant, confident stream of trash talk and laughter. It was the same Satoru, but amplified, sharper, more polished.

The only thing they didn’t block each other on was Steam. Suguru stared at the little direct message window. Last message from over five years ago, because honestly, who uses that and not Discord, at least back then. Satoru was sending him smiley faces after Suguru rage quit from some game. He sighed, he missed that dumbass. After him, he hadn’t had another best friend like Gojo. Sure, he has friends, but nothing got close to what he had with Satoru. Besides, now he barley remembers what their fight was even about, it felt so fucking stupid. Suguru's fingers hovered over the keyboard, a storm of conflicting emotions warring inside him. What could he even type?

"Hey, saw you're a famous streamer, what's up?" pathetic.

"Remember me?" humiliating.

He closed the window with a sharp click of his mouse. He was being a coward. He knew it. He'd clawed his way out of a depressive spiral that had nearly swallowed him whole, but the thought of typing a few words to Satoru Gojo had him breaking into a cold sweat. It was ridiculous.

His own stream the next day felt off. His chat, usually a source of ease and comfort, even if somewhat perverted at times, now felt like a chore. He was distracted, his responses delayed, his gameplay sloppy.

"Boss, you good tonight?" a regular named Gymfreak_99 typed.

„Just tired” Suguru murmured into the mic, forcing an easy smile. „Late night studying” he justified.

He finished the stream early, citing a headache. As he stared at his own reflection in the dark monitor, a different kind of resolve began to harden within him. He was tired of being haunted. Tired of lurking in the shadows of a life he was no longer a part of. He opened Steam again, then the old chat. The stupid smiley faces seemed to mock him now, a reminder of a time when things were simple, when their biggest problem was a lost match in some stupid game. Gojo was online, but he wasn’t streaming.

He took a deep breath. His fingers, now steady, typed out a simple message. "Hey"

He stared at it, his heart already hammering. It was too blunt. Too forward. He was about to delete it but quickly decided, fuck it, you only live once, right? He hit enter. It was sent. He looked at it for a moment. He hadn’t expected an immediate response. He closed Steam and decided to shower to kill some time and maybe to calm down a bit.

The shower took him longer than usual. He sat there, thinking about his life choices. Remembering the time when he and Satoru spent every moment together. They even slept together sometimes. Just slept, to be clear. When they left their homework to the last possible moment, they divided it in half, Gojo did math, physics, chemistry and English, Getou did the rest and when they finished they copied the other half from the other one. After that, the one who was a guest in the other's room didn’t even bother to go back to his own dorm. They just shared a bed. Suguru's hair only reached his collarbones then. Now, as he was sitting hunched over, his hair touched and twisted like ink on the shower's floor. After he got kicked out from that fancy high school, he saw some post about hair holding memories on tumblr and took it a bit too seriously. He doesn’t cut his hair, he doesn’t waste money at the hair salon. Only his mom forced him to cut his dead ends like four times maybe. And having to deal with his depressed ass, she still cut only literally a centimeter, because she knew he would get hysterical if she would cut more than that.

Stepping out of the shower, Suguru wrapped a towel around his waist. He caught his reflection in the foggy mirror, he looked tired. The resolve he'd felt earlier had curdled into a weary resignation. He'd sent the message. The ball was in Satoru's court. There was nothing left to do but wait. He dried himself, pulled on a pair of worn sweats, and went back to his computer. He hesitated before sitting down, taking a deep breath that did little to calm the fluttering in his chest. He told himself it didn't matter. If Satoru won’t reply, or will with something dismissive, it was fine. He had survived worse. He moved the mouse, clicked the Steam icon, when it loaded there was a new message.

"no fucking way" and "Hey????? sooooo….. what’s up?" under it.

Suguru replied immediately: "Long story short, I stream a little, and I was talking about how I started uni in Tokyo and someone on the chat said, like Six Eyes? And that’s how I found your profile. So yeah…"

His explanation hung in the digital air, pathetically mundane in the face of their explosive history. He'd just laid four years of silence and turmoil at Satoru's feet with a sentence that sounded like a bad pickup line. He cringed, already anticipating a sarcastic reply, something that would finally slam the door on this whole disastrous attempt at reconnecting. Instead, the typing indicator appeared almost instantly.

"YOU FOUND ME BECAUSE MY FAN MENTIONED ME? OH MY GOD" the message popped up.

Suguru stared, bewildered. That was not the reaction he'd expected.

"Dude, that's fucking hilarious" the next message continued before Suguru could even process the first. "Of all the things. I can't believe it. You're a streamer too?"

"Yeah, not as big as you tho" he typed back.

"so you just, what? decided to start streaming? what do you play? do you have a face-cam? holy shit, do you have a fan-base? are they as thirsty as mine?" Satoru replied.

The rapid fire questions were overwhelming, a dizzying whirlwind of Satoru's energy, that Suguru hadn't realized how much he'd missed.

"Slow down" he typed, feeling a smile tug at his lips despite himself. "It's not a big deal. I just play some indie stuff. And yeah, I have a face-cam. The rest, you have to judge yourself, I guess."

"sooooo you gonna send me a link or something?????" Gojo replied.

Getou sighed, not knowing if he was ready for this, but he sent Satoru a link to his Twitch channel and his Twitter profile, it was his only social besides Twitch. Sometimes he posted some after workout pic or something. But mostly he just retweeted things, or posted streams announcements.

After a minute came the reply: "oh, they are. well, i’m not surprised ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)"

Suguru rolled his eyes "Well, I do it mostly for cash. I’m also a personal trainer, but can’t have as many clients now. I’m trying to focus on studying."

"A PERSONAL TRAINER?! OF COURSE YOU ARE. I CAN PICTURE IT NOW. ALL THE GYM BROS AND SOCCER MOMS CLAMORING FOR SUGURU-SENPAI'S SPECIAL TRAINING SESSION."

Despite himself, Suguru let out a quiet laugh. It felt rusty. "Something like that."

"So… you wanna meet or something? Or is it supposed to be just, through the screen thing?" Satoru typed properly, so it had to be serious.

"Only if it’s okay with you" Suguru confirmed.

„Of course it is! I missed you! When are you free? Mine Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays are usually booked, but I can cancel the stream for you, every Monday, Wednesday and Sunday evenings. I’m also free the rest of the Sunday" the answer came super quick.

Suguru almost wanted to argue that Satoru shouldn't be so okay with it. Now, when he was thinking about it, their fight was getting clearer and clearer in his memory. How obviously it was his fault, was clear as well. However, telling Satoru what he should feel, would just be starting this drama once again. So, Getou decided to not mention it.

"Sunday noon would be alright?" that was all he offered.

"Sunday noon it is. Perfect. Where?"

Suguru's mind raced. A public place. Neutral ground. Somewhere they couldn't make a scene. "There's a coffee shop across the street from the library building."

"I'll be there ;)" Satoru typed, a winky face emoji that did little to soothe the fluttering in Suguru's chest.

"See you" Suguru sent, and then, because it felt necessary, he logged off Steam.

The next two days Suguru spent thinking only about the upcoming meeting. He went through the motions of his life, gym, training his remaining client, sitting through his lectures, studying, but his mind was a constant loop of Sunday at noon. What would they talk about? What would Satoru think of him now?

On Sunday morning, he stood in front of his closet for an inordinate amount of time. His streamer persona, the one his chat called 'boss' and complimented relentlessly, felt like a costume. He didn't want to be the depressed kid from high school either. He settled on a simple black long-sleeve, dark wide pants and a few steel rings.

The bell above the door rang, as he arrived at the coffee shop ten minutes early, his hands shoved deep in his pockets. The smell of roasted coffee beans was strong and nice. He ordered an Americano and found a small table in the back with the view of the entrance. His knee bounced under the table. He scrolled through his phone, not really seeing anything, just needing something to do with his hands.

The bell above the door rang once more, as the door swung open. Satoru was there. He wasn't the teen from Suguru's memories, nor was he the curated online personality. He was a fusion of both, and something more. He was even taller now, broader, the lazy grace of their teenage years replaced with a confident, easy stance. His hair was still that shocking white, with the undercut on the back and the bangs reaching into his eyes. He was wearing an oversized black shirt and simple black slacks, round sunglasses, clean black converse, and the baby pink headphones looped around his neck. He pushed the sunglasses into his hair, scanning the room, and when his eyes, those impossible, vibrant azure eyes, landed on Suguru, his face broke into a grin so wide and so genuine it made Suguru's chest ache. He felt as if he was just shoot with a gun. 

Gojo wove through the tables with an unnerving grace, and suddenly he was there, standing right in front of Getou.

„Suguru” he said, his voice was still a low, familiar rumble that sent a jolt straight through Suguru's system. „You're really here.”

Suguru's mouth suddenly felt dry. „Hey, Satoru.”

Satoru laughed, it was a bright, unselfconscious sound that turned a few heads. He dropped into the chair opposite Suguru, throwing his phone and the headphones on the table, leaning forward on his elbows, his whole attention focused on the man in front of him. „I can't believe this. It’s been so long. You look… good. Really good.”

„You too” Suguru managed, his voice barely left his throat.

„For real?” Satoru grinned, his eyes crinkling at the corners. „I mostly run on caffeine and the sheer force of will” he gestured to Suguru's hair. „I see you went for the cult leader look. It suits you.”

Suguru self-consciously tucked a strand of his hair behind his ear. „It just kind of happened.”

„I like it” Satoru said, his gaze softening for a moment. „I really, really like it.”

Suguru looked down at his coffee, at the ripples his trembling hand was creating on the surface. He was completely, utterly screwed. Once again he wanted to lecture Gojo about the fact that he shouldn't be so nice to him. That it was him who was at fault back then but he couldn’t. He couldn’t ruin this smile on the other's face.

„So, you’re famous now” was all he managed to say, it sounded cheap. Like he’s here because of that. He hated saying that, as soon as he said that out loud.

Satoru shrugged. „Just a little” he leaned back in his chair. A smirk playing on his lips. „It's not that big of a deal. It's just talking to people and playing games. Turns out, being annoying is a marketable skill.”

Suguru huffed a quiet laugh, the tension in his shoulders easing.

„Charmingly annoying I mean. Besides-” Gojo's tone shifted slightly, becoming more earnest „-turned out, finding friends is difficult. Pretty much everyone in real life tells me, I’m too much. Yapping too much, too much energy, too loud. On the internet it’s different.”

The sincerity in his voice caught Suguru off guard. He had expected Satoru to be flippant, to brush it off as another one of his easy victories.

„I watched a few of your streams” Suguru admitted, the words feeling clumsy on his tongue. „You're good at it. People love you.”

„They do” Satoru agreed, his grin returning full force. „They're a great bunch. Mostly. You get some weirdos” he paused, his eyes narrowing playfully at Getou. „Speaking of which, I checked out your channel too. I was right. Your chat is thirsty. Super thirsty I must say.”

Heat crept up Suguru's neck. „They're not that bad” he mumbled, looking back down at his coffee.

„You like it as much as I do, huh?” Satoru's grin turned into a smirk.

Suguru couldn't help the small, proud smile that tugged at his lips. „It brings in subscribers.”

The easy banter felt so natural, like no time had passed at all. They were just two teenagers again, sitting in their dorm room, teasing each other about nonsense. But then Satoru's smile softened, the playful glint in his eyes replaced by something deeper, more searching.

„It's good to see you, Suguru” he said, his voice quiet but firm, cutting through the comfortable haze of nostalgia. „I mean it. When they kicked you off, I…” he trailed off, shaking his head slightly as if to clear the thought. „I'm just glad you're here. And that you're doing okay.”

The weight of those unspoken years settled between them. Suguru's defenses wavered. He wanted to tell him everything. The depression, the medication, the slow, painful climb back to something resembling normalcy. Most importantly he wanted to apologize. But the words were stuck in his throat, heavy and suffocating. How could he possibly explain the abyss he'd fallen into without tainting this bright, happy moment?

He settled for a partial truth, his voice low. „It's been a journey."

„I bet” Satoru said softly, his understanding was a palpable thing in the space between them. He didn't push. He didn't pry.

Suguru took a shaky breath and forced a change of subject, his gaze landing on the pink headphones on the table. „So, baby pink, huh? I thought your brand color was blue.”

Satoru's face lit up, the momentary solemnity vanishing as quickly as it had arrived. „Pink looks good with blue, you know. Oh, right. I'm gonna buy myself some coffee” he stood up, stretching his arms over his head with a languid grace that drew a few more stares. „Be right back. Don't go anywhere” he said, pointing a finger at Suguru with playful seriousness. „I'm not done interrogating you yet.”

Suguru just watched him go, his gaze following Satoru's confident stride to the counter. He took the opportunity to breathe, to try and settle the frantic rhythm of his heart. It was overwhelming. Satoru was a force of nature, all bright energy and unfiltered sincerity, and he was acting like the last four years were just a minor inconvenience. It was both a relief and a source of profound anxiety.

He came back a moment later with a ridiculously elaborate frappuccino, topped with a mountain of whipped cream and a generous dusting of cocoa powder. He slid back into his seat, taking a loud, obnoxious sip through the straw.

„Okay” he set the glass down. „Where were we? Right, we're supposed to be catching up. Tell me something scandalous. Are you seeing anyone? Someone from uni maybe? I totally could picture you with Professor Nakamura. You know she was the model for Yohji Yamamoto before she started teaching. She’s so…” he moved his hand vaguely. „Alluring, I don’t know… I’m-” he bent his wrist characteristically „-you know.”

That was certainly a development. Sixteen-year-old Gojo definitely either didn’t know that about himself, or kept it a secret from Suguru, which Getou found hard to believe in.

„Well, I don’t know in which category you exactly fall into, but I’m not straight either.”

Satoru’s eyes widened. „Really?”

„I mean, I don’t really think about it that much. I don’t feel the need to fall into any category, Bi? Pan? I don’t know, but I’m definitely not straight.”

Satoru looked surprised but positively.

„I’m just gay. And I'm a little surprised you didn’t get to that part of my streams. I feel like I’m talking about my hook-ups all the time. So, apparently it’s not that bad yet. Good” the taller man said.

Suguru blinked, processing the information. It was so brazen, so public, a stark contrast to the guarded and messy way they had both navigated their teenage years.

„I guess I've only watched the gaming VODs. I'll be sure to tune in to your dating advice segments from now on.”

„Don't” Satoru said with a dramatic shudder. „It's mostly just me complaining that guys are either intimidated by me or only want me for my clout. It's a tragedy, truly” he took another loud sip of his frappuccino.

„I’m not into dating anyway” Suguru said, taking a sip of his own coffee.

Satoru frowned. „What does it mean? Some monk lifestyle?”

Getou let out a laugh. „No. I’m just not interested in relationships. Not my cup of tea, I guess.”

It was true. He didn’t see the allure. Heaving someone so close. He didn’t even know if he was capable of feeling this way. Sometimes he wonders if he's aromantic.With people he sleeps with, it's just attraction. He doesn’t desire spending time with them, other than having sex. His time is either spent at the gym, gaming, studying or rotting in his bed, he doesn’t need a companion for that. He doesn’t want to explain to anyone why he doesn’t want to go on some stupid date, why he doesn’t feel like talking or anything like that. That’s why he usually sleeps with some gym guys, or home wives, that go to the gym mostly because they wanna be dicked down by someone younger and buff and attractive. Both aren’t interested in any relationship besides that, and that’s what Suguru likes.

„Ah, I get it” Gojo nodded. „Not the cuddling after type.”

After that they talked about everything and nothing. Gojo mentioned that he’s studying Astrophysics, it suited him. Stars, galaxies and space. They mostly talked about uni. Satoru told him, that Shoko actually studies there too. Medicine obviously. That it’s hard to find free time to meet, but Satoru tries to see her at least once a month. Suguru's contact with Shoko fell apart after he got kicked out. He was pretty sure she wouldn't be so forgiving as Satoru about that.

After another few topics, Satoru's phone rang, he frowned and sent some messages to whoever was calling instead of answering.

„Ugh, my manager. Oh, it’s almost three past morning already? Times fly by with good company. I guess I must go, but I’m not leaving till I get your number. You won’t disappear on me again” he handed his phone to Suguru, a new contact named "Sugu" already created on the screen. All that was left to do was to add the number.

He sighed, entering his phone number. „I’m sorry about before, Satoru” the smaller streamer finally said, handing Gojo his phone back but not meeting his eyes.

„Don’t, it was a long time ago. We were stupid teenagers. All that matters is now” he replied quickly.

They agreed to meet for lunch the next day in between their lectures. They parted in front of the cafe, Suguru went straight from there to the gym. He's there often enough that he has clean clothes in his locker, a spare towel, and stuff like that. Training was good, but as soon as he was in the gym's shower after it, his mind was back on Satoru only. Replaying his voice, just slightly different than that from the years back. Seeing his eyes, his smile every time he closed his eyes. And there was guilt again, He didn’t deserve any of it.

Suguru got back home, washed his hair and what did he did? Opened Satoru's stream, he was live for half an hour. Gojo was talking about some collab coming soon, and after some other announcements, he turned the new Tomodachi Life on.

„Look what I finally got” Satoru said and showed a stylus to the camera. „I finally can add some sex toys for those miis.”

After that he attempted to draw a dildo in the creation section of the game. After some time it even resembled dick with its shape, Satoru made it blue with little, colorful hearts all over it.

„Seriously, I have no idea why Nintendo hasn’t sent me any cooperation offers yet” Satoru snorted at his own words.

Suguru stared at the screen with a strange mix of exasperation and reluctant amusement warring inside him. Of course Satoru's first act with his new stylus was to deface a family-friendly game with a dildo. He felt a smile tugging at his lips despite guilt that had settled over him past his shower at the gym. He didn't deserve this easy camaraderie. He didn't deserve to watch Satoru make his thousands of fans laugh, feeling the phantom warmth of their shared coffee. He was a fraud, soaking up Satoru's light like a parasite, all while the ugly truth of their last fight rotted away inside him.

Satoru was in his element, his commentary a constant, confident stream of nonsense. „Okay, now we just gotta... name it. What should we call this magnificent blue beast? Chat, give me your best suggestions.”

The suggestions flooded in, ranging from the crude to the absurd. Suguru found himself typing before he could stop himself.

"Call it The Six Inches."

He hit enter. It was a stupid joke, a throwaway line, but it felt like a little test. A way to see if Satoru would even notice, or if his message would just be another drop in the ocean of the chat. Suguru's username on his private Twitch account was his old game-tag, Satoru should rather remember it. It was stupid and very teenage emo like.

Gojo, stopped talking mid sentence. His eyes, magnified on the stream, flickered to the side, reading the chat overlay. A slow, wicked grin spread across his face.

„Alright, alright, settle down, chat” he said. „I think we have a winner” he leaned closer to the mic. „CurseEater, thank you for the suggestion” he said and typed "Six Inches" as the creation name, winking at the camera.

After that everything went rather quickly. Or at least in Suguru's mind it seems quick, his depressed brain sometimes cuts time out. He and Satoru started seeing each other almost every other day, it was almost like no time had passed at all since they were in high school. Lunch together, dinner together at some cheap place, studying sessions together. Satoru invited Suguru over under various excuses. Wanna show you my setup, wanna watch the new episode of this show with you, need help doing some pseudo-photo shoot. The offer to stream together came just as quickly. Suguru defended himself against it as best he could, it worked for a few weeks. "I don’t want you to think that I’m around, because I want your clout." he was saying. Satoru didn’t give a damn about his pathetic excuses. "Come on, you fit so well into my streams. And I just wanna play with you, I don’t have time for that besides streams." So, obviously they streamed together.

„Man, I wanted to play Lethal Company, for ages. I not even scared, just excited” Satoru said as the level was loading.

„You gonna shit your panties anyway” Suguru just muttered.

„How do you know I'm wearing panties?” Satoru giggled stupidly. „Btw, chat, I remind you that I have a Fansly account, all the income from which goes to charity” he added.

Suguru brain lagged. Satoru was already talking about the planet they landed into in the game. They characters made it out from the spaceship, a moment passed, Suguru's chat pointed out that he seemed to have had a stroke.

„Fansly?” he spoke up finally.

He had Satoru's face-cam in the corner of his own screen, so he could see him react. As well as Satoru probably had his face-cam pulled on one of his screens.

Gojo just smirked. „Yeah, but I’m not exactly cheap. It’s not porn or some other not safe for work staff. It’s just some aesthetic soft-core.”

Suguru blinked, his character walking into the tree. „So like… shirtless pics?” he tried to sound casual. Like a normal friend. A normal, curious fellow streamer.

„Not exactly, I wear things… pretty things. Making suggestive poses, that’s all. I’m slut for praises, this way at least the money of my thirsty viewers goes to a good cause and they get hot pics of me in return. It’s a win-win.”

Suguru somehow played it off, saying that’s a cool way to go about it and then quickly changing the subject. But of course that became a new constant thorn in his mind. He knew services like that probably showed names from the cards of the subscribers to the owners of the creators accounts. He didn’t have the balls to subscribe to the Six Eyes' account, but he did want to see it. It was… somehow an uncomfortable thought. He was pretty sure he shouldn’t think about Satoru like that, but he did. He knew Satoru is a regular at the gym by now. Getou saw the tight muscles under Gojo skin, he still was somehow leaner than Suguru, but he certainly had trained muscles. Suguru wanted to see more of them. And pretty thing, he couldn’t even guess what that meant. His mind was completely blank in that regard.

Then there was this time they went to the club together with some people they both knew from uni. After arriving in the club, Suguru pretty quickly got reminded he hates it. Random music, too many sweaty bodies too close and all that. Additionally, he saw some girl hitting on Satoru, which got Getou into a weird, shitty mood. So, he quickly decided to kill himself and do it through alcohol poisoning. Gojo found him before he could poison himself, of course. That night, Suguru found out that those muscles of Satoru weren’t just for aesthetics. Satoru easily carried most of Suguru's weight on the way home. He obviously took him to his place, as it was closer and also had an elevator.

„You should leave me there” the shorter one regained the ability to speak somehow clearly, only after being sat down on Gojo's bed.

„That’s not what friends are for” Satoru replied, as if it wasn’t annoying, taking care of his stupid ex-best friend. He casually knelt on the floor and took off Suguru's shoes. „Do you need anything in case you throw up?” he just asked, not even sounding angry at the situation.

Suguru shook his head lightly.

„Okay. You're gonna sleep here till you feel better. I'm gonna be on the couch if you need anything. You can also use this bathroom” he pointed to the door on one of the walls. Not the one they entered the room through.

So, Satoru's place had more than one bathroom. Yeah, that sounded pretty obvious. And when Suguru was thinking about it, he was pretty sure he hadn't even seen Satoru's bedroom before. Couldn,t admire it much now, tho, the lights were off.

As Satoru was about to leave the room, Suguru managed to grab him by the hand. „Don’t be stupid… we sleep together so many times. I gonna feel bad… taking your bed… when you’ll be on the couch.”

Suguru couldn’t exactly say how Satoru reacted at that, he was too drunk to analize the other guy's face. But soon enough, Gojo threw some of his clothing off and joined him in the bed.

He had his back turned to Getou. „Sleep, Sugu’.”

The other just muttered something unintelligible in response and closed his eyes.

When Suguru woke up in the morning, Satoru was gone. Getou's phone was connected to the charger, the glass of water was waiting for him on the nightstand.

„Satoru?” he called as he sat up, but only silence answered him.

He reached for his phone, noticing that next to it was a note on a little piece of paper.

"I have things to do, I can’t stay. But don’t leave too soon! Eat something, take a shower, you stink like a bum! I left spare keys by the door, please lock it if you’ll leave. You can stay too. Play some games, take a bath, relax. I bet my place is nicer than yours, so be my gust <3" was written on it.

The little heart at the end felt like a tiny, paper cut on Suguru's soul. He was alone in Satoru Gojo's bed. The sheets smelled faintly of him, just a little like whatever cologne he uses, a clean laundry mixed with something uniquely Satoru. It was an intimacy he hadn't earned, and it made his stomach clench with a mixture of longing and self-loathing. His head was throbbing dully. Eating something sounded good. He wandered out of the bedroom. Floor-to-ceiling windows overlooked Minato, the furniture were all sleek lines and neutral tones, and the technology was seamlessly integrated. There were little bits of Satoru every way but not in the obvious way. Telescope by the window. Those fluorescent stars stuck in all sorts of weird places. His streaming setup looking like something pulled out of cyberpunk. A room screen that looked like it was stolen from the imperial palace. A plushies of the sun and moon on the couch. The open kitchen looked like it wasn’t used much. Suguru opened the massive refrigerator, a carton of eggs, some milk, a half-eaten cup of yogurt. And, sitting in front and center on the bottom shelf, a brand new, six-pack of Suguru's favorite brand of green tea. He stared at it. He'd mentioned it once, in passing. He'd said he was having trouble finding it near his apartment. Satoru had been scrolling through his phone at the time, seemingly paying no attention, but he had heard apparently. He'd remembered and he'd bought it for him. The gesture was so small, so simple, yet it hit him like a train. Unearned, undeserved kindness. It was Satoru thinking of him, not because he had to, but because he wanted to, and the thought alone was agonizing. Suguru made himself a simple breakfast of scrambled eggs and toast, his movements stiff and robotic. He took one of the bottles of the green tea, the familiar, grassy aroma doing little to calm the storm raging inside him. He ate standing at the counter, looking out at the city, feeling like an intruder in someone else's life. After he ate, he took Satoru's advice. Still, he chose the other bathroom, not the one connected to Satoru's bedroom. There was a shower, not a tub, but it was a dream anyway, a glass enclosure with a rainfall shower head that felt like standing under a warm waterfall. He used Satoru's body-wash, a citrus scent that clung to his skin. He felt clean, but the stain of his presence here remained. Getting his clothes back on, he noticed a stain on his shirt. Ironic. Obviously, once he wasn’t wearing black, he spilled something on himself. It was yellowish. What even was that? Well, he could buy some basic shirt in Family Mart, but why would he spend his money on that? Satoru had a lot of oversized clothes. So, he made his way to the walk-in closet in Satoru's bedroom, that he noticed earlier. The light turned on automatically as he pushed the door open and walked in. He quickly froze, seeing racks of… not clothes, these weren't the hoodies and sneakers he'd seen Satoru wear. These were the "pretty things." Delicate lace, that looked like it would disintegrate if he breathed on it too hard. Baby-pink leather straps straight from the dream. There were fabrics he couldn't even name, in shades of black, white, and deep, sapphire-toned blue. On the hanger next to the mirror was a partially assembled outfit.. underfit? Whatever. Suguru had no idea what these pieces of underwear were even called. White lace panties, white corset made with lace and satin with the straps to hold over-the-knee socks. And a loose-fitting baby pink robe. It was elegant. It was angelic. It was breathtaking. Suguru's blood ran cold. He shouldn't be looking at this. This was the inner sanctum. This was the source of the thorn in his mind. He felt like a voyeur, a trespasser. He should turn around, walk out, and pretend he never saw any of it. But he couldn't. He was rooted to the spot, his eyes fixed on the clothes, on the evidence of a side of Satoru he was never meant to see. A side that was beautiful, and vulnerable, and completely, terrifyingly out of his reach. Getou's mind treacherously imagined Satoru in this. Not the loud, obnoxious Satoru he knew, but a softer, ethereal version. He pictured the stark white of the corset against Satoru's porcelain skin. He imagined the baby-pink robe, the color so at odds with Satoru's usual monochrome, hanging off his shoulders. It wasn't exactly sexual. At least not in the simple, transactional way Suguru was used to. It was something else entirely. It was art, reverence. It was a form of worship, and Satoru was both the deity and the offering. The thought was so powerful, so intimate, he stumbled back a step, his hand flying to his mouth as if to stifle a gasp. This was the soft-core. It wasn't about being cheap or easy, it was about being adored. It was about being seen as something beautiful. And now Suguru had seen it. Without paying. Without an invitation. Cold and sharp panic, lanced through him. He spun around, fumbling for the door, his heart hammering against his ribs like a trapped bird. He had to get out. He couldn't take a shirt. He couldn't touch anything. He had to erase his presence from this room as if it had never been there. He fled back to the bedroom. The faint yellow stain on his shirt was a badge of his own clumsiness, a stark contrast to the ethereal perfection he'd just witnessed. He couldn't stay. He couldn't relax. He couldn't play fucking games. He had to get out of this perfect apartment before he tainted it any further with his grubby, unworthy existence. He found the spare keys by the door, just as the note said. He locked the door behind him, the click of the mechanism echoing in the silent hallway like a gunshot.

The trip back home was a blur. All he could see, all he could think about, was the image of white lace and baby-pink robe. It was burned into the back of his eyelids. He got back to his own small, cramped apartment. The silence that greeted him was no longer comforting, it was suffocating. It was loud with the phantom scent of Satoru's body wash, with the vision of him in that closet, an angel in a room full of beautiful things. Suguru sank onto his own bed, burying his face in his hands. He was a fraud. A thief. He had stolen a glimpse of something pure and beautiful, and now he was cursed to carry it with him. The thorn in his mind was no longer just a thorn. It was a whole damn rose bush, and he was stuck in it. He closed his eyes and immediately, with the eyes of his imagination, he saw Satoru straddling his hips, pushing the panties to the side and taking his cock, smiling and biting his lower lip. Suguru, after all, was a fucking pervert. Of course he had to stain this angelic image just like his shirt. In his imagination, Gojo immediately started bouncing on his cock like a pro. Suguru was hard in seconds. Guilty and disgusted with himself, Getou pushed his hand into his pants without opening his eyes. Started stroking himself, imagining Satoru slowing down, to match his pace. In his mind the divine image from the closet shattered, replaced by something raw. The lace wasn't delicate anymore, it was just a restraint. Suguru's hand moved faster, twisted, the rough friction of his own palm a stark contrast to the imagined softness of Satoru's skin. He pictured Satoru's head thrown back, his throat exposed, a string of curses falling from his lips instead of his usual confident chatter. He imagined the weight of him on his hips, the heat of his body, the way his muscles would clench as he moved. Satoru, messy, and desperate, and wanting Suguru with a hunger that mirrored his own. A choked groan escaped Suguru's lips. The guilt was still there, a sour taste in the back of his throat, but it was being drowned out by lust. This was wrong. This was a violation. He was taking the most vulnerable part of Satoru, the part he kept locked away and sold for charity, and he was defiling it with his own pathetic, selfish desires. He knew that, and he couldn’t stop anyway. The pace of his hand quickened, the imaginary Satoru meeting him thrust for thrust, his blue eyes dark with need, his smirk replaced by a breathless, open-mouthed plea. "Sugu" Satoru would moan, his voice wrecked. "Sugu, please..." Could Gojo even say "please" like that? Maybe not, he’s probably more bratty in bed. If Suguru would let him ride him, he would probably take whatever he wanted, however he wanted. Leaving Suguru with the option of just meeting him halfway, or stroking his dick, freeing it from the lace or maybe through it. The thought shifted the fantasy, twisting it into something sharper. The desperate, pleading Satoru dissolved. In his place was the arrogant, demanding Satoru, utterly in control, even when he was the one being impaled. This version wouldn't beg. He'd command. Getou imagined Satoru's hands braced on his chest, nails digging into his skin. The smirk would still be there, but it would be different, wicked, triumphant. He wouldn't be matching Suguru's pace, he'd be setting it, a torturous, maddening rhythm designed to drive him insane. Gojo'd use Suguru's body for his own pleasure, chasing his own high with a focus that was both infuriating and intoxicating. Suguru's hand faltered, his strokes becoming erratic. The image was too powerful. He pictured Satoru leaning down, his lips would brush against Suguru's ear, his voice would be a low, taunting whisper. "Is that all you've got? Thought you were supposed to be the strong one." The humiliation was like a spark to his arousal. Suguru groaned, his hips bucking up into his own fist. He would be helpless, pinned down, forced to take whatever Satoru dished out. His role would be to provide the cock, to be the foundation for Satoru's performance. And he would love it. He would absolutely love it. He would be reduced to just his thick and nice cock, just like with all those middle aged women from the gym, for whom he was just a distraction from their boring husbands, or all the gym bros, for whom sex with him just just extension of the training, mixed with pleasure, but it would be better, because it would be Satoru.

Satoru.

His Satoru.

He imagined his free hand sliding up Satoru's thigh, feeling the taut muscle, the delicate strap of the sock garter digging into his skin. He'd find Satoru's cock, hard and leaking against the delicate lace. He wouldn't pull it out. He'd stroke him through the fabric, the rough texture of the lace a delicious friction against Satoru's sensitive skin. Still, Suguru couldn't come like that, he could thank his antidepressants for that. He lay there for a long time, panting, the sweat cooling on his skin. All of it only brought him only a profound, bone-deep sense of shame. He had just masturbated to the thought of his best friend being a bratty, dominant power bottom. He had taken the one, private thing he knew about Satoru and twisted it into his own personal pornographic script. He hadn't just violated him, he had rewritten him. He had crossed a line from which there was no return. He could never look Satoru in the eye again. Every time he’ll see that confident smirk, he will remember this. Every time he would see those bright blue eyes, he would picture them dark with lust. He had taken their friendship, this fragile, precious thing that Satoru had so generously rebuilt from the ashes, and he had defiled it for a few moments of cheap, selfish gratification. He didn’t know if he should laugh or cry. He was such a pathetic fucking pervert

He took another shower, because he felt dirty. He scrubbed the remaining scent of Satoru's body-wash. When he got out of the shower, traces of his nails left red, angry marks all over his skin everywhere he could reach. They would probably be gone in half an hour, Suguru wished they could mark him longer.

Obviously he continued seeing and spending his time with Satoru. He couldn’t just disappear or tell him "You’re doing things to my perverted mind." Although, he definitely felt more awkward around the taller guy. He tried not to show it. They still streamed together. Chat loved whenever Suguru appeared on Gojo's stream, and obviously some of Satoru's fans started following him too. Maybe two weeks after Suguru seeing the inside of that walk-in closet, Satoru invited him over to play some board game on stream. Getou obviously agreed, at this point he would agree to anything Gojo asked him for. The stream was good, tho. At the end they played chess, because Suguru's viewers know he plays online chess all the time and asked for it on the Six Eyes' chat. For a not digital version at least. He obviously obliterated Satoru, even though he wasn’t half bad. Almost immediately after the stream ended, the apartment's intercom rang.

„Oh, that’s my manager” Gojo said, before letting whoever was calling without checking into the apartment building.

Suguru grabbed his hoodie. „I’ll be going then.”

„What? No, you can stay. I actually wanted to order something for late dinner. You hadn’t ate anything either, right?” Satoru replied quickly. „Maybe you’ll even like him. He’s goes crazy on the gym too”

This intrigued Getou a bit, and besides, a free dinner didn't sound bad either. He sighed and went to the fridge to take a bottle of his favorite green tea. Damn, he was starting to feel too comfortable in Satoru's place. Maybe he should go back to his own place. Before he could decide, however, the doorbell rang. Satoru went to open the door.

„Suku’” Suguru heard Satoru say.

„Gojo” the other voice grunted.

Then the manger walked over to the table. Huge, pink-haired, tattooed man. Like… HUGE. He was even a bit taller than Satoru and pretty damn muscular. Suguru could see that even through his clothes. He had a tattoo in between, but slightly above his eyebrows. As he placed a bag at the table, Suguru also noticed, so at odds with the rest of man, long, sharp, black nails. If not the nails, Suguru would thought, that he was obviously a yakuza.

The huge man looked him up and down. „That’s this childhood friend of yours?” he asked, sounding and looking unimpressed.

Satoru appeared the table too. „More like teenage-hood, but yeah. Sukuna, that's Suguru Getou. Suguru, that’s Sukuna, my manager” he introduced them to each other.

Weird name but whatever. „Nice to meet y-” Suguru started but couldn’t finish.

„I have prototypes. You want him to see it?” Sukuna asked the bigger streamer.

Satoru shook his head lightly. „Were you raised by wolves? You didn’t even let Getou finish the sentence. At least let me warn him, what he’s about to see. Yeah?”

Suguru grimaced slightly, because what was he about to see, that needed a warning?

„Do you remember how I mentioned that I will soon have a new collab with some brand?” Satoru turned to the other uni student.

Satoru talked a lot, but Suguru felt like he remembered most of it. „Yeah.”

„It’s a sex toys brand” Gojo added simply.

The words hung in the air, utterly devoid of shame. Suguru blinked, sure he'd misheard. A sex toys brand. Of course. Why wouldn't the man who sold soft-core pictures of himself in lace panties also be collaborating with a sex toys brand? It was a perfectly logical, completely insane progression.

Sukuna, seemed utterly bored by the entire exchange. He rolled his eyes. „You want him to see those or not? I have other shit to do.”

„Patience is a virtue, Sukuna” Satoru chided, though there was no real reprimand in his voice. He turned back to Suguru, his expression a mixture of apology and barely contained excitement. „So, yeah. Apparently the prototypes are ready. You wanna see them with me? I totally get it, if you don’t feel like looking at sex toys right now”

Suguru wasn’t sure. It will probably stay in his head just like that outfit from Satoru's closet. But… he's gonna see them on his feed, if that’s a product of Six Eyes' next collab, anyway. Maybe it'll be better, if he’ll be ready for this.

Suguru tried to sound casual. „You got me curious now.”

„Alright. But be gentle, Suku'. Suguru's delicate sensibilities might not be able to handle it.” Gojo smiled stupidly.

Suguru wanted to argue that his sensibilities were far from delicate, especially after the last few weeks, but he kept his mouth shut. He just watched, frozen in place, as Sukuna reached into the bag he'd placed on the table and pulled out a simple, cardboard box.

„Don’t fucking call me that, you damn brat” Sukuna muttered.

„They haven't made the packaging yet?” Satoru ignored his words.

„No, in case you will want to change something in the products sizes” his manager replied.

Satoru grabbed the box and opened it, Suguru blinked repeatedly, as the other pulled the item out. It was super realistic.

„It’s Banana Split” Gojo said, admiring it with a smile. „I came up with it. What do you think, Sugu’?” Gojo held it proudly by the suction cup.

It was a dildo. The shaft looked like a banana with its texture, topped with chocolate sauce, flowing slowly down the shaft. Where a normal dildo would have imitation balls, it had whipped cream with cherry on top. It was probably bigger than normal bananas get.

Suguru was speechless.

„Looks like a real thing, huh?” Satoru said proudly. „They're made of a platinum-cured, body-safe silicone” he handled it with the same casual ease he'd handle a video game controller. „We're launching in a month. I'm doing a whole unboxing and review stream. It's going to be... educational.”

Sukuna snorted. Suguru's mouth opened, but no sound came out. What was he supposed to say to that? "Yes, Satoru, it's a remarkably lifelike representation of a banana dessert, I'm sure the texture is very authentic?" He felt like he was hallucinating on fucking acid.

Suguru finally found his voice, though it came out as a strangled croak. „You came up with this?”

„I did!” Satoru beamed, his pride radiating off him. „Isn't it genius? It's funny, it's thematic, it's a snack. So, what do you think?” Satoru pressed, holding the "Banana Split" closer to the other streamer, as if offering him a bite. „Be honest.”

Suguru looked from the dildo to Satoru's earnest, excited face, and then to Sukuna's bored, unimpressed one. He was trapped. He was in a nightmare. A brightly lit, high-end nightmare.

„It’s original. I’ve never seen anything like it” he replied, feeling his face heating.

Satoru smiled wider, Sukuna was already pulling another box. Gojo quickly made the dildo stick to the table top and took the next box from his manager's hands. A vibrating egg, a charging cable and a remote fell on the table, after he opened it. It wasn’t that realistic but it resembled a strawberry, the leaves-lookalike at the top were more rounded than pointy.

„This one is called Sweet Strawberry. Is it charged?” Satoru asked.

„The lady, who gave it to me in their office, said it is.” Sukuna answered.

Satoru pressed the remote and the light ring inside the toy lit up. He pressed something again and it started vibrating.

„It’s quite, good” Gojo stated.

Suguru couldn’t hear anything over how loud his heart was beating.

Satoru pressed the "Sweet Strawberry" to his hand, probably to feel vibrations better. „Should have six speeds” he murmured, clicking the remote. „Pulsation, escalation and distinct rotating.”

Rotating? Suguru thought he might be behind the times, when it comes to sex toy technology.

„Where’s the plug?” Satoru asked his manager.

The tallest man handed him another box. Gojo turned the egg off, before grabbing another box. Once again he opened it quickly and grabbed a baby-blue silicone butt plug. The base was heart shaped and had "FILL ME UP" text carved into it.

„It’s from their already existing heart candy line. We just adding my signature color with this text” Satoru explained. „It vibrates too. It even has its own app.”

Suguru just nodded, because again, what could he say?

Next thing was a edible lubricant. Both Satoru and Sukuna tried it. Gojo liked it. For Sukuna it was too sweet. Thank God, they didn’t ask Getou to try it.

Another box, this time it was a masturbation cup. In the same color like the butt plug, but it had a design as if it was covered with a few stickers. All of which were emotes in Six Eyes' chat. With a cover on, it almost looked like some coffee thermos or food container. This effect was probably intentional.

Satoru threw it to Suguru, from shock the shorter man barely managed to catch it.

„You can test it back at your place and give me some feedback. I don’t use those” Satoru simply said, but his smirk was a bit wicked.

Suguru's entire body went rigid. His blood ran cold, then hot. He felt like he was holding a grenade without a pin.

„I... what?” the words were a choked whisper, a puff of air.

„Feedback” Satoru repeated. „Is the texture good? Is it easy to clean? Does the cover holds? You're the target demographic, more or less. Well, the part of the demographic that actually uses their dick.”

Sukuna watched the whole exchange with an expression of profound, cosmic boredom. „It’s all. I’m getting out of here. I've seen you traumatize your friend enough for one day. They want feedback up to three days” he said before leaving unceremoniously.

„This isn't trauma, this is market research” Satoru waved a dismissive hand at him, although Sukuna had already left. „So? You'll be my chief quality assurance tester? Please” he looked at Suguru, batting those white eyelashes of his at Suguru.

Getou couldn’t speak. His throat was closed up, his lungs seized. He could only stare at the object in his hands. It was a joke. A cruel, insane, perfectly Satoru's style joke, but the look in Satoru's eyes was dead serious. He genuinely expected Suguru to take this thing home and... test it.

Getou imagined it. He imagined himself, alone, squeezing some lube inside. He imagined putting his dick in it. The shame was absolute, so all consuming. He was being exposed. Not as a pervert who had fantasized about his friend, but as a pervert who was now being handed the tools to act on those fantasies by the friend himself. It was a cosmic joke of the cruelest order. It was his punishment for violating Satoru. For using his image, his voice and his clothes in his dirty fantasies.

„If you insist” Suguru muttered. He wasn’t about to run away from the punishment, he could grow some spine. Maybe at least he’ll be a bit less pathetic.

„It’ll be great, I promise” Satoru beamed. „Now let’s order something, all of this made me so hungry.”

Thankfully, Satoru dropped the topic of sex toys completely. He chose some place and let Suguru choose whatever food he wanted. He chose some ramen, that’s all. Satoru wanted to watch something on youtube as they waited. He turned it on on the console connected to his TV. They dropped on the couch. Satoru grabbed the moon plushie, held it on his lap. The video was an essay about some game. Suguru heard nothing of it, he didn’t even hear Satoru's chatter.

„You’re quite… Was I too much earlier?” Satoru's tone changed suddenly. There was not a single drop of his usual confidence in it.

„No, no… I’m just beat after the stream. I’ve been on the gym earlier too. Actually, I started taking boxing classes” it wasn’t a lie. He did, in hope it’ll help with something. Make him too tired to jerk off or something.

„Boxing? Your biceps already look good enough” Satoru said, side-eyeing him.

„I want to know how to use it well too” Getou replied.

Gojo hummed. „What exercises would you recommend for me?”

„Stretching” why the fuck did he said that? His brain is stopping working.

„Stretching?”

Fuck, he needs to get out of this. „Stretching is important, can’t skip that. Watch exercises on the ball. Should keep your ADHD in check.”

Satoru laughed at that. „Whatever the trainer Sugu’ say.”

Getou halfly passed out after that. Woken up for the food and went home after that. After arriving, he passed out immediately.

The next morning Suguru refused to acknowledge whatever he dreamed about.

A day later, he was training his client earlier during the day and then went to boxing classes again. Came home, studied, when evening struck, he already crawled to his bed. There was this thing from Satoru in his backpack, dropped just by the bed. He reached for it, took it out along the lube that he always keeps in whatever bag or backpack he was carrying around. He also turned on the bedside light, it cast a circle of illumination on his messy bedsheets. There it was, the baby-blue cup, sitting innocently on his duvet like a forgotten food container or whatever. "FILL ME UP" the heart-shaped base of the plug from his memory seemed to whisper, a phantom echo of Satoru's voice. Does Satoru like it? Is he into that? Does he likes to be fucked raw and whatever guys he sleeps with, to finish inside him? Fuck, Suguru rubbed his face. He was tired. The boxing classes were supposed to help with that, to exhaust his body into a state of numb compliance, but it wasn't working. He looked at the cup, then at the bottle of lube in his other hand. He had promised, he had agreed to be the tester. This wasn't just punishment anymore, it was a job. A fucked up, insane job, but a job nonetheless. He was a man of his word. Even when his word was a pact with the incubus. With a sigh that felt like it was dragging his soul out of his body, he unscrewed the cap of the lube. He squeezed a small amount onto his fingers, the cool gel a stark contrast to his overheated skin. He opened the toy and pushed his fingers inside. The silicone was soft, pliable, but with a firm core. The texture was interesting. A series of ridges and bumps, a complex internal landscape that his fingers mapped out with clinical detachment. It was designed for pleasure, but in his hand, it felt like a medical instrument. He was just testing, probing, gathering data. He set the cup down on the nightstand and wiped his hand against his hip. He reached for his own cock, which was, to his immense shame, already half-hard. The simple act of touching the thing, of anticipating its use, was enough. Maybe thinking about filling Satoru helped with that too. He was so pathetic. Suguru stroked himself slowly, trying to maintain that veneer of clinical detachment. He was just preparing the subject. The tester, that's all he was. He closed his eyes, but the image of Satoru holding the "Sweet Strawberry" was already on the back of his eyelids. He couldn't do this while thinking of Satoru. It was too much. He needed something else. He tried to think of the women from the gym, of their hourglass bodies and their wandering hands. He tried to think of the faceless men from the club, of the fleeting, empty encounters. Nothing worked. His body only responded to one stimulus now. He gave up, too easily probably. He let the fantasy in. He wasn't in his own place anymore, he was back in Satoru's. On the couch, the moon plushie squished beside him. Satoru was there, leaning over him. He was holding the blue cup.

„Let me help you with the test, Sugu’” the fantasy Satoru whispered, his voice a low, teasing hum. „I need to make sure my fans will be satisfied.”

The image was so vivid, so real, it sent a jolt straight through him. He groaned, his strokes quickening, his detachment completely shattered. He was no longer a tester. No, no, he was just a man, jerking off, using a toy designed by the person he was fantasizing about. He fumbled for the cup, lined himself up and pushed inside. The sensation was immediate and overwhelming. It gripped him with a perfect pressure. The internal ridges and bumps, which had felt clinical to his fingers, were now a symphony of texture against his sensitive skin. It was good. It was terrifyingly good. His hips bucked, he was fucking the toy, squeezing his hand around it. The fantasy Satoru was holding it for him, sitting comfortably in between his legs. The taller one was coaching him, his voice a filthy stream of encouragement.

„That's it, Sugu’. Just like that. Feel it? Feel how good I made it for you?”

Suguru whined, in his mind, not aloud, he asked, breathily „Me?”

„You’re one of my fans, aren’t you?” Satoru smirked.

The orgasm was brutal, leaving him gasping and shaking, his vision whiting out. His chest was heaving, the toy still clutched in his hand and around his dick. He lay there for a long time, the aftershocks trembling through his body. The shame was back, heavier and more suffocating than ever before. He had done it, he had failed the test, because the only result he had to report was that he was a pathetic, perverted mess who was hopelessly, irredeemably in love with his best friend. He slowly pulled the toy off, the wet, sucking sound was a final evidence to his sin. He placed it on the nightstand, next to the lube and the lamp. It looked innocent again. Just a blue cup with stickers. He closed his eyes, but he couldn't escape. He was trapped in his own personal hell, and the devil, wrapped in lace, was waiting for his report. Suguru pulled his pajama pants and curled on his side. He's gonna clean the toy later, he’s too tired. He grabbed one of his pillows and hugged it tightly. He came. It doesn’t happens often, even when he’s with other people. Antidepressants are doing their job, numbing him out, making it harder as fuck to come. Not now apparently, not with Satoru in his mind. 

„What have you done to me ‘Toru?” he murmured, falling asleep.

The next day, when Suguru was at his afternoon lecture, Satoru texted him: "What time are you done with uni stuff today?"

"In around 1,5 h. I don’t feel like streaming today, though."

"It’s not about that. I just need to talk to someone, you, preferably. I can meet you somewhere, or you can come to my place, or I can come to yours. It won’t take long. I just need some advice."

Hm, periods and big letters. Gojo was being serious.

"I drop by your place after I’m done with uni. Ok?" Getou texted back.

„Sure! Thank you :D"

Suguru just hoped it’s not about the toys. He preferred to send Gojo his fuck-ass review over a text, he didn’t want to be interrogated about it.

After his lecture, he took the train to Minato. He didn’t register his way there. He was on autopilot.

„Hey” the white-haired one smiled softly, opening the door. He let Suguru inside, locked the door behind him. „You want anything to drink?”

Getou shook his head. „What’s up?”

„Come, sit down” Satoru said, walking to and dropping on the couch. This time grabbing the sun plushie, but Suguru could say his hold on it was clearly nervous. 

„What’s happening? I’m getting nervous.”

„Don’t, it’s stupid. I’m just having second thoughts about the whole collab thing.” Satoru replied.

„Why?” the smaller streamer frowned slightly, surprised by the admission.

„You probably noticed that I’m always busy on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays.”

Suguru nodded, having no idea where it was going.

„Where to start?” Gojo rubbed the back of his neck. „After… they kicked you out, I took my anger out at that one guy in first year. I was really cruel to him, verbally. Yaga told me I have to fix my behavior somehow, if not, it gonna fuck up my diploma. So, I decided to try math tutoring for free. I thought no one was gonna call, because that sounds suspicious. Who does tutoring for free, but one guy called, his older kid needed it, a nine year old girl.”

The fuck was it going? How was it related to the collab?

„So, I started to tutor this girl, Tsumiki, helped her one year younger brother with homework too when I was already there. Something was off with their dad, I couldn’t quite put my finger on it.”

Where the fuck was it going!?

„One time I got there and the dad was gone. Tsumiki opened the door, let me inside. I asked them, are they often left alone? For how long? And Tsumiki told me, their dad, kind of, forgets sometimes. I was like, what? She explained to me that he just sometimes forgets that they exist. He disappears for a few days and comes back when he remembers. I didn’t believe that. I thought he just fucks off and that’s it, that he’s just irresponsible single father, who doesn’t care. So, I stayed with them, ordered some food. I half expected their father not to come back at all, but I didn't want to call social services or anything right away, because those kids didn’t seem to hate him or anything. So, I slept on the couch and next morning, I got quite the confirmation that this guy, in fact forgets things” Satoru let out a short laugh. „So I wake up, hearing him growling how he is about to kill me, and sure enough he is swinging a knife at me. I obviously told him that I am me, that he left his kids alone, that I couldn’t leave them on their own too. He wasn’t having any of that. He thought I was some creep. He stabbed me twice. Then only his son, Megumi, crying and beating him with his little fist, managed to tell him, that he does know me, and that he left them and all-“

Suguru was looking at Satoru with wide eyes, raised eyebrows and slightly opened mouth in shock. „You got stabbed when we were seventeen?”

Gojo smiled nervously and looked away. „Yeah, but that’s not the point. Nothing life threatening. I ordered a taxi to the hospital. The point is, their dad really has some crazy kind of amnesia, and as he was on his own, because Tsumiki mom left him and ran away with some other guy, ah, the kids aren’t related. Megumi is his son and Megumi's mom died when he was a baby. He later married Tsumiki's mom and she ran away, leaving Tsumiki with him. So, as he didn’t had anyone, I proposed that I can help him with the kids. I really liked them, after you blocked me everywhere I… was a bit lonely. So, I kinda started co-parenting them, the guy was also broke as hell, because of his gambling addiction. So, I took them to all the cool places and all. And I see them every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday. I make sure everything is all right and all.”

„Some guy stabbed you two times and you started raising his children?” Suguru said, his voice flat, devoid of emotion, because his brain was still trying to process it.

„Yeah, but what I wanted to say. They don’t have internet access. Their dad is old fashioned, they all have flip-phones. But I still kinda worry that somehow they're gonna find out about my streams. Or worse, if their dad would find out and stated he doesn’t want some cam boy collaborating with sex toys company, anywhere near his kids. I… I don’t think I would survive that. They are like little siblings to me. Like the only family I ever had. My clan officially disowned me, when I publicly announced that I’m not straight. Not that it ever was much of a family.”

The world tilted on its axis. The sex toys, the shame, the pathetic fantasies, the blue cup on Suguru's nightstand, it all evaporated, blown away like dust in a hurricane. In its place was this. This impossible, insane story. He was staring at his friend, seeing him for the first time in weeks. Not the object of his twisted desires, not the confident streamer, not the teasing brat. He was looking at a man who had been stabbed, and whose first thought wasn't for himself, but for two kids left behind by a man with a broken brain. He was looking at a man who had been disowned by his entire family for the simple crime of being himself, and had gone out and built a new, makeshift one from the scraps of someone else's broken home. The shame Suguru had been drowning in suddenly felt shallow and self-indulgent. He was worried about his dirty little fantasies, while Satoru was worried about his relationship with the only family he had.

„And it sounds worse than it ever was, when you say it like that” Satoru mumbled, picking at a loose thread on the sun plushie. He looked small suddenly, younger than his twenty-two. The confident mask was completely gone, replaced by an anxiety that Suguru had never seen on him before.

„It sounds bad because it is bad, you idiot” Suguru said, the words coming out sharper than he intended. „Why didn't you tell me?”

„What was I supposed to say?” Satoru shot back, a flicker of his usual defensiveness returning. „Hey, Suguru, remember how you told me to never talk to you again and then blocked my number? Well, funny story, I got stabbed and adopted two kids. Wanna catch up over coffee?"

The guilt was a physical blow. Satoru was right. Suguru had abandoned him. He had left him to deal with... all of this. Alone.

„I'm sorry” Suguru said, and the words felt inadequate, but they were all he had. „I'm so sorry.”

Satoru just shrugged, his gaze fixed on the plushie in his lap. „It's in the past. The point is... Megumi and Tsumiki... they're the only thing that matters. If I lose them because of this... this stupid, greedy collab...” he trailed off, his voice thick with an emotion Suguru couldn't quite place.

Suguru's mind, finally clear of its own filth, started working. „Okay… Maybe you should just… tell the father what you do, how your work looks like, explain everything. He would see that’s not a big deal. You’re not doing porn or sell nudes or anything like that” Suguru proposed.

Satoru's head snapped up. „What? Telling him exactly what I do is the last thing that I want.”

„You’re not doing anything that crazy. You won’t show how to use those toys of yours. You talk about sex on your stream a lot already. Your streams are also marked as only for adults anyway, right? You don’t have an underage audience” Getou added.

Satoru stared at him, his expression a mixture of disbelief and horror, as if Suguru had just suggested he try to reason with the knife that had stabbed him. „You're not serious.”

„I am. This guy, he's a sick man with a gambling problem. He let you, a complete stranger, into his house to take care of his kids. He trusts you. On some level, he trusts you.”

„He trusts me to tutor his kids and not steal his shit” Satoru shot back, his voice rising with agitation. „He doesn't trust me to be a... a pornographer in his kids' lives!”

„You're not a pornographer!” Suguru countered, frustrated. „You're an entertainer. An adult entertainer. There's a difference. You're smart, you're responsible. You can frame it. You go to him, you sit him down, and you tell him you got a business proposition. You tell him you've built a brand, a following. You explain that this collaboration is a major financial opportunity for you or something. Someone with gambling problem should understand the language of money.”

„Financial opportunity?” Satoru let out a short, bitter laugh. „Suguru, the man thinks a pachinko machine is a financial opportunity. He has no concept of what I do. He probably thinks I sell things on eBay.”

„Then you make him understand!” Suguru's voice was firm now, cutting through Satoru's panic. „You show him. You don't have to show him the streams. You show him the numbers. You show him the contracts. You show him that this is a legitimate business. You tell him that your work is adult-themed, yes, but that you are meticulous about keeping it separate from your home life, from their lives“ he paused, letting the words hang in the air. „This guy is broke. You're helping him, you're taking care of his kids, you're a stable presence in their lives. Are you telling me he'd throw all that away because you have a side hustle selling sex toys? A side hustle that could potentially make you enough money to help support them even more?”

Satoru was quiet, his gaze fixed on the sun plushie he was crushing in his lap. Suguru could see the gears turning, the fear warring with a sliver of logic.

„When he's on, he's fine. But when he's off... he's not there. He doesn't remember. What if I tell him, and he forgets? What if he finds out later, from someone else, and it's like the first time he's ever hearing it? What if he thinks I lied to him? Funny story, well… not exactly. I was once helping him with some documents. I found a marriage certificate with his previous wife, Megumi's mother. The dad's family name is Zenin.”

„Zenin?” Getou was pretty sure he heard that name before.

„The clan that has historical beef with Gojo clan. I checked and there's zero mention about this guy. All I managed to find is that they never showed around with a younger son of the clan's previous head. I heard about this… "method" back home. When clans want someone trustworthy to do their dirty business, From birth, they keep a family member private, so that when they grow up, they can be like a shadow. I was suspecting that Toji, that is the dad's name, maybe he wasn’t meeting Zenins' expectations and that’s why he forgets now.”

„What do you mean?” Suguru frowned.

„They tried to off him!” Satoru ran his thumb across his neck. „What I was trying to say, he keeps forgetting. And he’s not playing about his kids. At least when he remembers about them. Zenins probably trained him to off people. If he forgets and gets really angry, he's gonna turn me into a vegetable.”

„Then you get it in writing, if you have to. You just tell him the truth, Satoru. The whole truth. That you're a young man trying to build a life, that you love his kids, that you would never do anything to hurt them, and that this is your job. A weird job, yeah, but a job.” Suguru said simply. „You’re overthinking this.”

He looked at Satoru, at the worry still etched onto his face. Suguru shifted and reached out, his hand covering Satoru's where it was gripping the plushie.

„Look at me” he said, his voice soft but commanding. Satoru's azure eyes met his. „You're a guy who takes care of two kids because it's the right thing to do. You're a good person, Satoru. A good person with a weird job. Any father would be lucky to have you in his kids' lives, even a fucked-up father like this Toji. He just needs to see that.”

A single, stubborn tear welled up in Satoru's eye and spilled over, tracing a path down his cheek. He didn't bother to wipe it away, so Suguru did it for him.

„You really think he'd... understand?” Gojo asked, his voice thick with hope and fear.

„I think he'd be an idiot not to” Suguru said, his thumb stroking Satoru's cheek. „And you're going to make him see that. You're not going to lose them.”

A slow, shaky smile touched Suguru's lips, it was a fragile and uncertain thing. And just like that, the shame was back. How Suguru could be the recipient of that smile, when he was the guy who violates Satoru in his fantasies.

He sighed, pulling his hands away from the other man. „I need to tell you something.”

„Hm?” Satoru raised his eyebrows slightly.

„You remember when I slept here after we’ve been in the club?”

The taller one nodded, clearly not knowing why Getou changed the subject so suddenly. „I was taking Megumi and Tsumiki to capybara and cats cafe. They loved it. Megumi is the kind of kid who likes animals more than people.”

God, this all started when Satoru was busy taking care of some poor, traumatized children.

Suguru covered his face with his hands. „I wanted to borrow some T-shirt, because there was a stain on mine. And I… walked to that closet in your bedroom…”

Satoru let out a snort. „Oh, you saw the lingerie. What about it?”

„Since then, I’ve been having some… lewd thoughts… about you. I’m a perv. I’m sorry.”

Satoru was quiet for a long moment. Suguru couldn’t look at him, so he kept his face hidden behind his hands.

„I don’t understand. We’re not some altar boys. I don’t care. You were my gay awakening. You think I never thought of you, while jerking off? I probably thought of you when I tried anal for the first time.”

Suguru lowered his hands slowly and looked at Satoru. Getou was shocked how casual Gojo was about it.

„You… like me like that?”

Satoru let out a nervous laugh, but didn’t look away from his eyes. „I thought it’s obvious. I have had a crush on you since we were sixteen.”

„Why aren’t we together then!?” Suguru almost yelled.

„Well, back then I tried to help. Maybe I was being annoying but I didn’t know what to do, when you just…” Satoru shrugged. „I know it’s an illness, I know I wasn’t the help that you needed, but it still hurt when you shut me out. And then we had this screaming match, then they kicked you out, and when I tried to call, you already blocked my number. Sure, it pissed me off, I blocked you everywhere, but I wanted you… to see that I was just trying to help. And now, now you’re not interested in relationships and I can’t do casual. Obviously I want to sleep with you, but creating some situationship between us would literally kill me. I want an official thing. I want everyone to know that I have a boyfriend, and I don’t want you to be a secret. I want to spend most of the time together, I wanna fall asleep and wake up together. I wanna do all this couple stuff together. And I want to be one and only for my boyfriend. No triangles or some cheating bullshit.”

Suguru literally dropped on his knees, sliding off the couch.

„You’re not like others, Satoru. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me. If you would fly me to some country where we could get married, I would do it, right now. I want to be your boyfriend so bad” he was basically in the position of praying to Satoru at this point. He must look pathetic.

 Satoru stared down at him, his blue eyes wide, his mouth slightly agape. The fragile smile from moments before had vanished, replaced by a look of unadulterated shock. He looked like he'd just seen a ghost. A very pathetic, kneeling, praying ghost. A beat of silence stretched into two, then three. Suguru's heart hammered against his ribs, each beat was a frantic prayer of its own. He'd laid it all bare. Every pathetic, desperate, hopeful inch of himself. He was professing his love after admitting he was a pervert who fantasized about his crush in lingerie. It was the most ridiculous, but also the most honest moment of his entire life.

A low, rumbling chuckle that built and built until it was a joyous laugh. The sound filled the room, washing over Suguru, chasing away the last of his fear. It wasn't a mocking laugh. It was the sound of pure happiness. „Oh my god” Satoru gasped, wiping tears from his eyes. „Suguru, you are the most dramatic idiot I have ever met in my entire life” he slid off the couch, mirroring Suguru's position on the floor. He reached out, his hands gently cupping Suguru's face, his thumbs stroking his cheekbones. „Fly you to another country to get married?„ he repeated, his voice soft with wonder. „You really would, wouldn't you?”

Suguru could only nod, his throat too tight to speak.

Satoru leaned in, his forehead resting against Suguru's. And then he closed the distance between them. The kiss was nothing like Suguru had ever imagined. It wasn't frantic or desperate or fueled by shame. It was gentle. It was soft. It was like a quiet, certain promise. It tasted like relief. Satoru's lips were warm and sure against his, moving with a tenderness that made Suguru's heart ache.

When they finally pulled apart, they were both breathless. Satoru rested his forehead against Suguru's again, a slow, brilliant smile spreading across his face. „So, boyfriends?”

„Boyfriends” Suguru breathed, the word feeling like the most natural thing in the world to say.

„Good” Satoru said, his smile widening even more. „Because now that that's settled, we have a problem.”

„What?” Suguru frowned, a flicker of anxiety returning.

„I have a very specific idea of what I want to do with my new boyfriend” Satoru pointed out, his eyes twinkling with mischief. He stood up, pulling Suguru with him, lacing their fingers together. „Bedroom” he said, his voice leaving no room for argument. „Now.”

Suguru laughed, it was a real, genuine laugh. Satoru turned to face Suguru in front of his bed. He grabbed Getou's hoodie as he kissed him and dropped on the mattress, pulling the shorter man with him, right on top of him. Not stopping the kiss, Gojo guided one of Getou's hands under his T-shirt. Up, up, up till it touched the material on his pecs.

„Wanna see my pretty thighs?” Satoru smirked against Suguru's lips.

„Please” Suguru already begged.

Satoru quickly took his T-shirt off. He was wearing a bra, which was clearly made to fit a man. Lower it was made from some material and higher from lace, both in wisteria's color. There was a scar below his shoulder. Getou kissed it first, then pressed his face to the middle of Satoru's pecs and inhaled. He smelt like chocolate. Does he change his body-wash? Gojo's fingers ran through Suguru's long hair. His eyes rolled back, it felt so good. The scent was dizzying, it enveloped Suguru's senses. It was so incongruous, but so Satoru to smell like a dessert in the middle of something so intimate. Suguru's lips brushed against the lace, feeling the firm muscle beneath it. Satoru's fingers in his hair were a gentle, repetitive motion that was both soothing and maddening. A low groan rumbled in his chest as Satoru's nails scraped lightly against his scalp. Suguru lifted his head, his gaze immediately drawn to the smirk playing on Satoru's lips. His eyes were dark, hooded with lust, and they were fixed on Suguru.

„You like it?” Satoru murmured. He hooked a finger under the strap of the bra, pulled, then let go, making it snap against his skin.

Suguru didn't answer with words. He leaned down, his lips tracing the path Satoru's finger had just taken. He pressed a soft, open-mouthed kiss to the lace, then to the warm skin of his shoulder. He could feel Satoru's heart beating against his ribs.

„I didn’t know I had a touch about lingering, till I walked to those closest of yours” Getou murmured against Gojo's skin. „Are you always wearing this?”

„Not always, but often enough” Satoru breathed, his head falling back against the pillows, exposing the pale line of his throat. „I like having a lil secret underneath my clothes.”

„You’re so fucking hot” Suguru said, pulling the right strap of the bra off Satoru's shoulder. He pulled the side of the bra away. Satoru's nipple already peaked. Suguru's mouth watered. He lowered his head again, this time capturing this tight buds between his lips. He sucked gently, his tongue flicking over the sensitive nub. Satoru gasped, his back arching off the bed, his hands tightening in Suguru's hair, holding him in place.

„Fuck, Suguru” he moaned, his voice ragged.

Suguru moved to his neck, his teeth scraping lightly, just enough to make Satoru whimper. He could feel the hard line of Satoru's cock pressing against his thigh through their pants. It was intoxicating, knowing he was the one causing this reaction. He pulled back, his eyes roaming over Satoru's body, taking in the flush on his cheeks, the desperate, needy look in his eyes. He was beautiful. He was perfect.

„Your turn” Satoru said, his voice husky. He reached for the hem of Suguru's hoodie, his fingers brushing against the sliver of skin above his waistband. „Off. Now.”

Suguru let him pull the hoodie over his head, tossing it onto the floor. Satoru's hands were on him immediately, his palms flat against Suguru's chest, his thumbs stroking his nipples. Suguru shuddered, his hips rocking forward instinctively.

„God, you're so hot yourself” Satoru breathed, his eyes wide with wonder. „I've wanted to see you like this for so long.”

He pulled Suguru down for another kiss, this one deeper, more demanding. Their tongues slid together, Suguru could feel the last of his inhibitions melting away, replaced by a primal need. He wanted this. He wanted him. More than he'd ever wanted anything in his life.

He broke the kiss, panting, his forehead resting against Satoru's. „Where do you have this strawberry thing and your new lube?” he asked, his voice thick with desire.

Satoru pointed to the bedside table. „First drawer.”

Suguru reached to it, staying above the taller one. As he opened the drawer, he saw many similar toys. Vibrating eggs and several butt plugs. There was even one with a fluffy, white bunny tail. Also a few different edible lubes, as well as this new one, from Six Eyes' upcoming collab.

„I was doing research, okay?” Satoru breathed, one of his fingers, wrapping a lock of Suguru's hair around itself.

„No judgment here, bunny” Getou smirked, taking out what he planned. He let it drop on the sheets. His eyes met Suguru's blue ones again and he hooked his fingers in the waistband of Gojo's sweats. „Can I?”

A slow, wicked smile spread across Satoru's face. „You don’t have to ask, handsome.”

„Consent is sexy” Suguru murmured, pulling the other's sweats off and throwing them to the growing pile of their clothes on the floor.

His eyes were met with panties that matched the bra, mostly made of a delicate material that held everything in its place, only the waistband was decorated with lace. Then his eyes focused on a long scar on Gojo's thigh. Suguru quickly shifted lower and started kissing Satoru's thighs all over.

„Those panties look lovely, but they have to go” the shorter man said.

„No protest here.” Satoru was already breathing heavily.

Suguru took them off his best friend and pressed them into his nose, inhaling deeply, before throwing them behind his shoulder. Satoru let out a chuckle at that. Getou absolutely loved that sound.

„Can you turn around for me baby and raise those hips?” Suguru asked and Gojo obeyed immediately, presenting his ass. The shorter man made himself comfortable between Satoru's long legs. „Gonna eat you out and use this thing” he moved the toy, its remote and the lubricant closer to himself. „You gonna tell me, if you want me to slow down or anything. Right, Satoru?” he could see how the Six Eyes' cock twitched, when he said his name.

Gojo nodded. „Of course.”

Suguru spread Satoru's ass-cheeks and went down like a starving man. Gojo's entire body quavered as Getou's tongue touched his rim. Suguru groaned against him, the sound vibrating through Satoru's body. His tongue swirling and probing, mapping every sensitive inch of the taller one. Satoru was already pliant, already whimpering, his hips pushing back against Suguru's face, seeking more.

„Fuck, Sugu', you’re so good in this” Satoru choked out, his fingers clutching at the sheets.

Suguru pulled back for a moment, just long enough to grab the lube. He squeezed a generous amount onto his fingers. He pressed his forefinger against Satoru's entrance. He didn't push inside yet, just circled the tight ring of muscle.

„Relax for me, baby” he murmured, his voice low and soothing. He leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to the small of Satoru's back, before getting his mouth back to work, along his finger. Satoru took a deep breath, and Suguru felt the tension ease just enough. He slowly pushed his finger inside, sinking into the tight heat. Satoru let out a low moan, his body arching like a bow. Suguru was slow and careful with it. Pushing his finger till the first knuckle, moving it, kissing and licking the rim thoroughly, only after that pushing his finger deeper, till the next knuckle. Working his finger deeper this way, Suguru kissed the back of Satoru's thighs, the curve of his ass, the sensitive skin just behind his balls. He was lost in it, lost in the taste and feel of him, in the sounds he was making. The lube indeed added some sweet taste to all of it. 

When he felt Satoru was ready, he pulled his fingers away, earning a disappointed whimper. „Shh, I've got you” he soothed. He grabbed the "Sweet Strawberry" egg and the remote. He coated the toy in a generous layer of lube, making it glisten in the soft light of the room.

„You ready for this, ’Toru?” he asked.

„God, yes” Satoru breathed, his hips still raised in offering.

Suguru picked up the remote, his finger hovering over the button. He looked at Satoru, at his cock, hard and leaking against his stomach. He was a vision. He was his. Suguru pressed the button. The vibrations were a constant, deep thrum, a steady pulse. He pressed the toy against Gojo's entrance, pushing it in slowly, the smooth, firm silicone slid in easily. Satoru let out a low moan as it settled inside him, his body clenching around it. Suguru held its widest part keeping Satoru's hole stretched, not letting it move deeper. Gojo whined, tried to move his hips and squeezed around it to push the toy deeper, but Getou kept it in place, holding it by… the vibrating egg's… tail… is that how it’s called? He pressed mouth to Satoru's ass once more, and pushed it deeper with his tongue, just to pull it right back, stretching the Six Eyes' entrance. Satoru let out high pitched moans and shook a lot, his dick twitched like crazy. Suguru could feel his own cock throbbing in his pants, but he ignored it for now. This was about Satoru. This was about giving him everything he'd ever wanted. He finally pushed the toy all the way in, letting it settle deep inside him. Satoru let out a long, shuddering sigh, his body going limp with relief, but the shorter one held his hips firmly.

„Atta boy, so responsive for me” Suguru praised.

He picked up the remote, his finger hovering over the button. Satoru rocked his hips in a silent, desperate plea. Suguru pressed the button, increasing the intensity of vibrations, making them stronger. Satoru cried out, his body arching. He moaned, whimpered, whined, all of it. Suguru clicked the button again, and the vibrations changed to a rhythmic, pulsing pattern. Satoru let out a choked sob, his body convulsing with pleasure. Suguru leaned down and bit down on the curve of Satoru's ass, his teeth sinking into the firm muscle.

Satoru yelped, his body jerking, his cock twitching. „Oh, fuck! Sugu’, I'm gonna...”

„Hold it for a moment” the shorter one commended, already rolling Satoru into his back.

When Gojo's back pressed into the mattress, Suguru without another word took that nice, twitching dick into his mouth, sucking and pressing his face against the white pubes. He looked up at Satoru's face. Tears were running down his cheeks but he looked absolutely blessed. He trusted his hips into Suguru's mouth uncontrollably, Getou let him. Satoru came inside his mouth with a loud cry, clinching his fist in black, long hair. Suguru swallowed greedily, Satoru was delicious. When he took his mouth off Gojo after a few moments, he showered his lower abdomen with kisses. The toy was still trimming inside Satoru's hole.

„How was it?” Suguru asked in between kisses, looking up.

Satoru's bangs were already sticking to his forehead. „It was perfect. You were so good to me” he breathed heavily with a gentle smile on his lips. „I can go again. I can go all day with you.”

Suguru's hips rutted against the bed. He was so fucking hard. „Before we go, I need to tell you something.”

Satoru's expression immediately turned into worry. „What is it?”

„I’m on antidepressants. I mentioned that before, I guess.”

Six Eyes nodded.

„Sometimes… well, most times. No matter how I feel… I can’t… reach orgasm” Getou confessed, his finger making a little shapes along Gojo's hipbone.

The worry in Satoru's eyes has been replaced with warmth. He reached down, his fingers gently carding through Suguru's hair, pushing a stray strand away from his face.

„Okay” he said, his voice quiet, steady. A single word that held no judgment, no shock, no pity. Just acceptance.

Suguru braced himself for a reaction, for confusion, for disappointment, for a thousand other negative possibilities. He hadn't braced for simple okay.

„Okay?” Suguru repeated, his voice was barely a whisper.

„As long as you’ll enjoy it, I guess” Satoru shifted, propping himself up on his elbows so he could look Suguru in the eyes. „I just had the best orgasm of my life. You did that. You. The fact that you can't always finish doesn't change a thing. It doesn't change how I feel about you. It doesn't change how much I want you.”

He pulled Getou closer, pressing a soft kiss to Suguru's lips when he moved. It was chaste and sweet, a stark contrast to the raw intensity of their previous actions.

„We'll figure it out” Satoru murmured against his mouth. „We have all the time in the world. We can try everything. We can do whatever you want. Or we don't have to do anything at all. I just want to be with you. That's all that matters to me.”

Suguru felt a lump form in his throat, an overwhelming wave of emotion washing over him. He buried his face in Satoru's neck, his arms wrapping tightly around him. He felt like he was going to cry, like he was going to break apart into a million pieces.

„Hey, hey” Satoru said softly, holding him close. „It's okay. It's more than okay.”

Suguru took a deep, shuddering breath, trying to compose himself. He felt Satoru's hand move down his back, tracing the line of his spine, it was such a comforting touch.

„I want to say something too, actually” Gojo added.

„Yeah?” Suguru looked into his eyes, as he grabbed Satoru's hand and pressed a few kisses to his knuckles.

„Promise me, that you never leave like back then again. Even if… this doesn’t work out or something. That you won’t just ghost me. I won’t survive it again” Satoru pleaded.

„I promise, I promise you that” the words were a vow. He saw the flicker of old pain in Satoru's eyes, the ghost of a seventeen-year-old boy abandoned by the person he trusted most. It seemed like a wound that had never fully healed, and Suguru had been the one to inflict it.

He tightened his grip on Satoru's hand, bringing it to his chest, right over his heart. „I promise” he repeated. „I swear it, Satoru. I'm not going anywhere. Not ever again. Even if... even if the worst happens, I will talk to you. I will face it with you. No more disappearing. No more silence. You have my word.”

Satoru watched him, his gaze searching, looking for any hint of insincerity. He found none. A shaky breath escaped him, and the tension in his shoulders seemed to ease, just a little. 

„Okay” he whispered. „Okay.”

Satoru shifted, a mischievous glint returning to his eyes. He rolled his hips, grinding against Suguru's hard, still trapped cock. It made a low groan rumble in Suguru's chest.

„Now” Satoru murmured, his lips brushing against Suguru's ear, his voice was a teasing purr. „Where were we?”

Suguru's mind, which had been consumed by emotion, snapped back to the present, to the overwhelming arousal that had been temporarily sidelined. He was still painfully hard, aching with a need that was both physical and emotional. He wanted Satoru. He wanted to be close to him, to feel him, to lose himself in him.

„Come on, show me” Satoru murmured, his hand moving to Suguru's crotch.

The shorter one shifted to take off his jeans and boxers, finally freeing his cock.

„Oh, you’re big” Satoru’s expression immediately turned into stupid smile. „I need you to take the Strawberry out of me. I don’t feel like going into the ER with something stuck in my ass today.”

Suguru couldn’t help but smile at the joke too, still he grabbed the remote and held the button to turn the egg off. After that he slowly pulled it out of the bigger streamer. Satoru let out a tiny gasp. Suguru tossed the slick toy onto the bedside table, his eyes never leaving Satoru's. He settled back between Gojo's spread legs, his gaze sweeping over him. He was a masterpiece, absolutely beautiful.

„Let’s take it of” Suguru whispered, pushing his hands underneath Satoru's back, and unhooking the bra, which quickly landed on the pail of all of their other clothes.

„Please, I can’t wait anymore, Sugu‘” Satoru begged.

„Patience” Suguru murmured, though his own was wearing thin. He reached down with his free hand, wrapping it around Satoru's cock. He stroked him slowly, from base to tip, his thumb smearing the bead of left over cum, from his previous orgasm. „I want to remember this. The first time.”

Satoru's breath hitched. „Me too” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. „Now, please.”

That was all the encouragement Suguru needed. He lubed his cock, positioned it against Satoru's entrance and pushed inside. The taller man wrapped his legs and hands around Getou immediately, arching his back as well. The heat was overwhelming. Satoru's legs wrapped around his waist were a vice, pulling him deeper, holding him captive, and he never wanted to be free. He stayed still for a moment, savoring the feeling. It was a dream he'd been too ashamed to even admit to having before, and now it was real.

Satoru's hips rolled slightly. „Move” he demanded, his voice was a ragged, breathless whisper.

Suguru obeyed. He started slow with a shallow thrusts, kissing Gojo's lips at the same time. Satoru was letting out too many noises to be really able to kiss him back, he just moaned right into Getou's mouth. He also was doing that thing, squeezing his insides around Suguru's cock and then relaxing, squeezing and relaxing, over and over again. It made Suguru unable to kiss him any longer pretty quickly. The shorter man groaned, as his eyes rolled back. He adjusted his hold on Satoru and started fucking him harder and faster. Satoru cried out in pleasure, his head falling back. Suguru leaned down and bit him, right where his neck met his shoulder, marking him. Satoru was his.

„Fuck, handsome, you feel so good” Satoru babbled, his hands roaming over Suguru's back, his hips rising to meet every thrust. „So big, so deep…”

„You think you can come from my cock alone, princess?” Getou asked, licking the spot that he bit.

Satoru was already fucked stupid. „On this big, thick cock? Of course, I can.”

„That's my boy” Suguru praised.

His hands moved again, gripping Gojo's narrow hips.

„Don’t hold back on me. Yeah? Please? Manhandle me if you want, I can handle it” Satoru smirked.

Those words were like adding gasoline to the fire. Suguru felt like some fucking animal, which pupils dilated before jumping on and tearing his prey to shreds. But still, his first time with Satoru meant too much for him, to let go of the reins at once. He knew how much of a freak he can be, and even with Satoru's lingerie and sex toys company collab, he wasn’t sure if he was ready for it.

„You tell me to stop, if it’s gonna be too much. You understand?” Suguru said, not stopping the movement of his hips.

Satoru moaned.

„Tell me that you understand” Suguru repeated, one of his hands moving to squeeze Satoru's chin between his thumb and the rest of his fingers.

Gojo nodded, looking him in the eyes. „I’ll tell you to stop, if it’ll be too much.”

In one fluid, powerful motion, Suguru pulled out, flipped Satoru onto his stomach, and yanked his hips slightly up. Satoru barely had time to gasp before Suguru was back inside him, sinking into his heat in one deep thrust. The angle was brutal, perfect, hitting Satoru so deep he saw stars.

„Fuck!” Satoru cried out, his fingers scrabbling for purchase on the sheets.

Suguru didn't give him a moment to adjust. He set a fast pace, his hips snapping forward. His hands were close to Satoru's elbows, pressing into the mattress, holding himself up, so Suguru could have a nice view on Satoru's sculpted back and how his muscles moved, reacting on every deep thrust. Satoru bent his knees and his heels kicked Getou's ass-cheeks, Gojo's back arched more, his hips lifted a little more.

„Oh, Fuck!” Satoru moaned. „You like that, hm?” he whimpered into the pillow and then raised his head slightly, so his voice could be heard more clearly. „I’m your slut, ugh fuck- fuck yeah-” after that he let out such a nice broken moans.

The wet sound of the lube could be heard as well, as it squeezed out of his hole, as he clinched around Suguru so fucking hard.

„Is this what you wanted?” Suguru snarled, his voice a low, dominant rasp. „To be fucked like a toy?”

„Yes!” Satoru sobbed, his face buried back in the pillows. „God, yes, harder!”

Suguru obliged. He drove into him harder, faster, his movements fueled by a desperate, possessive need. He wanted to own him, to mark him, to make him so full of him that he'd never be able to forget this moment, forget him. Getou could be rough. He could be demanding. Satoru wanted it. He wanted him. He wanted to imprint himself on Satoru, to fuck him so thoroughly that he'd feel him for days. The bed frame creaked in protest, the headboard slamming against the wall with a rhythmic, violent thud.

„Taking it so well. My perfect fucking slut” Suguru grunted.

The praise only seemed to spur Satoru on. He pushed back against him, meeting every thrust with a desperate, hungry need of his own. The sounds he was making were inhuman, a series of high pitched moans and whimpers that were music to Suguru's ears. Satoru came again without a warning, but when it started his body started literally spasming and he cried out Suguru's name. Maybe it was a sign that they are meant for each other, because it made Getou come as well. He pressed his chest to Satoru's back and bit his shoulder, one hand pressing against Gojo's abdomen, so he could feel how Suguru was filling him up even more. The shorter man's hips were jerking as he emptied himself deep inside Satoru. His body went slack, his full weight pressing Satoru into the mattress. He could feel the frantic beat of Satoru's heart. For a long moment, the only sound in the room was their desperate gasps for air. There were only the two of them, tangled together, slick with sweat and release, the air thick with the scent of sex and chocolate. Suguru was the first to move. He lifted his head, pressing a soft, reverent kiss to the back of Satoru's nepe, right under his hairline. He then shifted, carefully pulling out and rolling onto his sides. Satoru slowly rolled on his side too, they were facing each other. Suguru quickly tucked Satoru against his chest, his arms wrapped around him. Satoru was boneless, his breathing was still ragged, but it was starting to even out. He made a soft, sleepy sound, snuggling against Suguru's chest, seeking more contact.

„Wow” Satoru breathed, his voice hoarse after being so loud.

Suguru hummed in agreement, his face buried in Satoru's hair. He tightened his hold, pressing a kiss to the crown of his head. „You okay?” he asked.

Satoru let out a weak, breathless laugh. „Okay doesn't even begin to cover it. I think... I think you broke me.”

A surge of satisfaction, mixed with a flicker of concern, shot through Suguru. He propped himself up on one elbow, gently turning Satoru's face towards him with his other hand. He needed to see his eyes.

Satoru's eyes were heavy-lidded, his pupils blown wide with pleasure, but they were clear. A slow, lazy, utterly contented smile was playing on his lips. There was no pain, no regret, only a sated bliss.

„Good broken or bad broken?” Suguru asked, his thumb stroking Satoru's cheekbone.

„The best kind of broken” Satoru murmured, leaning into his touch. He reached up, his fingers tracing the line of Suguru's jaw. „I can't feel my legs, and I'm pretty sure I'm going to have your hand print bruised on my hip for a week.”

Suguru's gaze flickered down to where he'd been gripping Satoru, his stomach clenching with a mix of guilt and satisfaction. „I'm sorry, I-”

„Don't you dare apologize” Satoru cut him off, his voice firm despite its tiredness. „I asked for it. I loved every second of it. Every bruise, every ache... it's a reminder. That I'm yours and I love it” he pointed at himself. „Freak-” then he pointed at Suguru „-for freak.”

The words settled somewhere in Suguru's chest. He leaned down and captured Satoru's lips in a slow and soft kiss. It wasn't hungry or demanding, it was tender, full of a love and affection that went far beyond the act they had just shared.

When he pulled back, Satoru's eyes were shining. „I love you” he whispered, the words simple, sincere, and more meaningful than anything else that had been said that afternoon.

„I love you too” Suguru replied. „More than you know.”

He settled back down, pulling Satoru flush against him. He draped a leg over Satoru's, tangling them together. He was never letting him go again.

„Stay” Satoru murmured. „Don't leave.”

„I'm not going anywhere” Suguru promised, his lips pressing against Satoru's hair.

„One more thing” Gojo said and Getou could feel his smirk against his skin. „You can call me slut only when we fuck. You call me that any other time, I’m beating you up.”

Suguru nodded vigorously.

Later that day, after they both took a shower to wash every dried fluid off their bodies, Suguru went back to his place, while Satoru was streaming. When back in his small flat, he threw all the most necessary things in his bag that he usually was taking to the gym. Toothbrush, shampoo, hairbrush, hair bands, deodorant, some clothes, underwear, laptop, phone charger and such. He went right back to Satoru's apartment. Gojo wanted him to stay over for a couple days, Suguru wanted that too. He grabbed some food on his way back. Satoru already shared with him a code to get into his apartment building, and Suguru still had this extra key to his place. 

As he entered the apartment, he heard Satoru talking to his chat. „-I think that’s the one this time. I want to marry him already” he let out a laugh at himself.

A few seconds of silence.

„Yeah, we are together since today's afternoon, but I can tell this one is different.”

Another few seconds of silence, while he was reading the chat probably.

„I won’t wait till this country becomes less conservative. I’ll marry him somewhere else, obviously. Though, I would like to have some rights here.”

Once again a few seconds of quiet.

„I would take his name obviously. Why would I want to keep the name of some homophonic clan.”

Suguru felt warmth traveling to his cheeks. He stood frozen in the entryway, the bag of food in his hand suddenly feeling incredibly heavy. He cleared his throat to get Satoru's attention.

Six Eyes turned around on his gaming chair and smiled at him. When he turned back to the camera, his hand quickly fell on the mouse.

„And now I'm gonna eat dinner with my future husband, so we’ll finish early today. Next time I'll play something until the middle of the night to make it up to you, but for now, see ya.”

Suguru watched as Satoru efficiently shut down his stream. When the camera was covered and the mic unplugged, Satoru spun around in his chair once again, an unapologetic grin spreading across his face.

„Future husband?" Suguru managed, his voice a little rough. He took a few steps into the room, placing the bag of takeout on the coffee table.

Satoru's grin didn't falter, if anything, it grew wider. He stood up and closed the distance between them, wrapping his arms around Suguru's neck and leaning down for a quick kiss.

„You heard me” he said, his eyes sparkling with mischief and something deeper. „Got a problem with that?”

„No” Suguru breathed, his hands finding their way to Satoru's waist, pulling him closer. „No problem at all. Just... we went from confessions of feelings to wedding planning in the span of a few hours.”

„What can I say? You're a life changing lay” Satoru teased, but his expression softened. „I mean it, you know. Every word.”

Suguru did know. He could see it in Satoru's eyes, feel it in the way he held him. It was terrifying and exciting at the same time. „You're insane, I like it” he said, kissing Satoru's jaw.

„Completely” the taller one agreed cheerfully. He pulled back and gestured towards the food. „Now, feed me. I'm starving. All that life changing sex really works up an appetite.”

Suguru unpacked the containers of food, they sat by the table. Suguru sat down first and Satoru sat right next to him, not opposite him. The earlier intensity got replaced by a warm, domestic bliss. Suguru found himself watching Satoru, the way his eyes lit up when he talked about a particularly funny comment in his chat, the way he licked sauce off his thumb, the easy, open way he existed in his own space.

„What?” Satoru asked, noticing the stare. He swallowed his mouthful of noodles. „Do I have sauce on my face?”

„No” Suguru smiled, reaching out to tuck a stray strand of white hair behind Satoru's ear. „I just like looking at my boyfriend and I like listening to you. You got me whipped.”

Satoru leaned over and kissed him, a taste of soy sauce lingering on his mouth. „Shut up” he said as he pulled away, but his ears already turned pink.

They finished their meal, and Suguru started to clean up, but Satoru stopped him, taking the containers from his hands. „I got it. You're the guest. Well, for tonight. Tomorrow you're just the guy who almost lives here and does the dishes.”

Suguru laughed. „Moving fast, aren't we?”

„I told you. Insane” Satoru winked.

When he came back from the kitchen, he plopped down on the couch next to Suguru, curling into his side.

„So” he began, his tone casual. „About the name thing. Getou Satoru. Has a nice ring to it, don't you think?”

Suguru wrapped his arm around Satoru's shoulders. „It does” he said.

Next morning, Suguru was enjoying his free day, no uni, no work, no studying, and being Satoru's new boyfriend. Which included lying in his bed and rubbing his face in Gojo's sheets. He also took a long relaxing bath in Satoru's big tub. Satoru left around noon, to pick Megumi and Tsumiki from their school and take them for a bubble tea. After that he was supposed to take them home, help them with their homework or any school stuff and talk to their dad before leaving.

After playing something on Satoru's playstation 5, Suguru took a nap in his boyfriend's bed. He already loved that bed. It was so nice. He woke up when Gojo got back, already slipping under the covers and cuddling up to him.

„Hi, boyfriend” Suguru murmured, still half asleep, wrapping his arms around the taller man.

„Hi, boyfriend. You won’t believe what my kiddos' dad said.”

Suguru rubbed his face against the side of Satoru's head. „The crazy one, you mean?” his brain was still waking up, that was a good nap he had.

„Yeah. So… I was telling him how my work looks like, just like you advised. After I told him about streaming and stuff, he asked me what’s the deal about then. I asked him, what he meant, did I need to repeat anything and he just said. "You can be an escort or a porn star for all I care. As long as you don’t get my kids involved in it, I don’t care."”

Suguru's sleepy brain took a moment to process the words, but when they clicked, his eyes shot open. He pulled back slightly, just enough to look at Satoru's face.

„He said what?” he asked, his voice laced with a bit of disbelief.

Satoru snuggled closer. „You heard me. "You can be an escort or a porn star for all I care." Exact words. The man is a menace, but apparently, surprisingly open minded.”

A grin spread across Suguru's face. He buried his face into Satoru's shoulder, breathing him in. „Well, I'll be damned. So all that worrying for nothing? He really doesn't care?”

„Apparently not” Satoru laughed. „He just cares that the kids are safe and happy and not exposed to anything they shouldn't be.”

„That's such great news, 'Toru. Seriously” Suguru said, his voice muffled by Satoru's shirt. He tightened his hold on him, pressing a kiss to his neck. „So you're officially free to be a degenerate streamer without any family drama.”

„Officially” Satoru confirmed, shifting in his arms to look at him. "And I have my amazing, supportive boyfriend to thank for it. Your advice worked.”

„Of course it did” Suguru smirked, feeling a surge of pride.

Satoru rolled his eyes, but he was smiling. „Yeah, yeah, don't get a big head about it.”