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Don’t Encourage the Farmer

Summary:

The New Farmer gets around. (Or: the bachelors of Stardew Valley, and their very intensive sexual escapades with the new eldritch farmer on the hilltop.)

Mind the tags, dead dove do not eat.

Notes:

➞ 1 Chapter per Bachelor
➞ Specific warnings for each ship in notes of every chapter
➞ If there are any tags I missed, please tell me

Chapter 1: The Farmer on the Hilltop

Chapter Text

The new farmer is eccentric— and that’s putting it lightly. The farmer convenes with the forest spirits and connects with the shadow people of the sewers— from conquering the Mines to rebuilding the Community Center, the farmer’s the only reason Pelican Town’s economy isn’t in shambles.

Everyone appreciates his efforts, praises his name— even if they can’t quite remember how his face looked. Or how his voice sounded.

Which was odd. They’ve definitely had conversations with him before. They saw him very often, too— but like the incomprehensible nature of his strength, stamina, and magic— it just never stuck. 

Some could swear the farmer was more beast than man. Others wondered if he were a vampire, never remembering the presence of a mirror in that farmhouse, a shadow in the sunset, or a reflection in the waters. There were rumours, at some point, of him being one of the sewer people he always stood up for, and yet, no one’s come to a conclusion just yet. Nothing could be proven, and the dwarf in the Mines was too amicable for that to be true.

The adults would say that old Grandpa was like that too, with a body hardened from farmwork and yet the gentleness of animal husbandry ingrained in his very veins. The farmer was charming, passionate, and irresistible in every generation.

And for the bachelors of the valley, curiosity won over.