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Theon can swear that it started with Grey Wind. Everyone else keeps on telling him that they had been that bad even since before, but that’s the first time that Theon is actually aware of the ridiculousness of the moment, and so that’s the first as far as he’s concerned.
1.
It’s a ridiculously cold day in November when they find the dog.
Or better: it’s a ridiculously cold day in November of their last year of high school when they’re heading for Robb’s house after some entirely miserable eight hours of school (fuck the extra credit) and Robb rescues it, with Theon more or less tagging along. It’s dark and cold and Theon could bet that it’s going to rain soon and they’re both hurrying when they hear the barking.
Well, more than barking it’s pitiful wailing.
“Did you hear that?” Robb asks, his tone going straight to concerned.
“What? That? Might have been the wind.”
“No, I don’t think so.”
On cue, they hear another wail.
“It was there, I think,” Robb says, and goes straight for the back alley they just walked past.
Theon sighs and goes with him - he might as well check it out. There’s nothing when they get there though - or better, unless whatever it was makes that sound again they’ll never find it. The alley is dark, there’s no source of lightening whatsoever and there are at least four dumpsters in it - the smell of trash trumps any other.
“Damn,” Robb sighs. “I was sure it was coming from here.”
He goes to check behind the first dumpster, but nothing’s there. Theon isn’t even putting any effort in checking behind the third when he hears some weird noise coming from inside it.
“Stark, get over here. I think I heard something.”
Robb does and Theon grabs his cellphone, presses a couple of random buttons so that the screen lights up and turns it to the inside of the dumpster.
Fuck him, he was right. In front of them there’s what looks like a gray German Shepherd puppy, can’t be older than a couple of weeks at most, staring up at the two of them with dark gray eyes and - well, Theon will forever say that it looked pathetic, but he has to admit it to himself. The thing is kind of adorable, if you get past the part where it’s half-covered in trash and someone most probably left it there.
Then he looks at Robb, who - well. Robb looks so utterly bloody smitten with it that Theon knows already how it’s going to end.
“I can’t believe they left him here,” Robb says with outrage as he reaches out for it - it doesn’t protest or growl or anything and lets Robb take him from the dumpster without a protest. “Look at it.”
“Just hope that your mother lets you keep it,” Theon sighs, not even believing that this is happening. They’re rescuing a fucking puppy - that stuff only happens in Disney movies by now.
“What? I didn’t -”
“You want me to think you’ll try to find the owner or give it away to some shelter? Please. I haven’t known you since first grade for nothing, you want to keep it.”
Robb had kind of flushed at that and Theon had figured that at this point he might as well have gone with it. “You don’t have to convince me. And let’s go, the smell of trash is going to make me gag in a moment.”
Robb does agree on that at least, and totally cradles the dog to his chest even if it’s not exactly smelling heavenly.
Robb’s parents do make a valiant attempt to convince Robb that maybe it’s not the case, but when every other Stark in existence sees the puppy it’s obvious that it’s a lost cause and it stays. Theon still can’t even believe it happened.
Robb names it Grey Wind - at least it’s not lame - and there’s all there is to it until Christmas. Theon spends it with Robb as he’s always done since his mother died years ago and no one else in the family seemed to be bothered with it, let alone buying presents, let alone going through the hassle.
The last thing he expects on the 24th when he goes into Robb’s room to put away his backpack with his clothes for the next couple of days is a slightly larger bundle of gray fur slamming into his leg and looking very happy to see him.
“Woah, it got bigger,” Theon says as he kneels down and scratches it behind the ears, figuring that it’s going to make it happy.
“He also was malnourished when we found him,” Robb says grinning as he takes Theon’s bag.
“Well, looks like it was someone’s lucky day.” Grey Wind does seem ridiculously happy with the scratching. Figures. Theon doesn’t even know what you’re supposed to do with dogs, he never had one (or a cat or even a fucking goldfish for that matter), so he just keeps on doing that since it works. Robb kneels in front of them a minute later, his palm running over Grey Wind’s back.
“Probably. Hey, pick him up.”
“What?”
“Come on, do it. He’s not going to bite you.”
“I should hope. But why?”
“Just do it,” Robb prompts, and Theon figures that there’s no harm in it. So he does, hoping that he’s doing it carefully enough -
Just in time for Grey Wind to lick at his cheek.
“You knew that,” Theon says trying to glare at Robb, but he’s sure it’s not effective. Not when he still has the damned dog held in between his hands and it’s nuzzling against his cheek.
“Of course I did,” Robb answers before reaching out with one hand and scratching behind Grey Wind’s ears as well.
Theon can’t fucking believe that this is his life, right now, but he can’t deny that he’s kind of liking this, and so he lets that go.
It doesn’t change that it’s still something that seems out of a stupid romantic movie.
—
That was just the first time. Theon is pretty sure that the following was the one concerning his uncle, and fuck if that one wasn’t just out of a book. The more he thinks about it the more he’s sure he hallucinated it, but Asha remembers that, too, so he’ll have to come to terms with it - it happened.
—
2.
They have three months of high school left when Theon’s uncle Rodrik visits for the first time in years. Thankfully it’s his mother’s brother, not any of his father’s, and he’s not been around in ages because he never liked Theon’s dad much (and Theon tends to agree with him, but it’s not like he can voice it out loud). So, since his dad and his brothers conveniently go out of town for business during that week, Theon almost can’t believe that he can actually invite Robb over a couple of times for a change instead of always having to crash at Robb’s. Not that they do much other than homework, but Robb stays for dinner those couple of times and Asha is only too glad to let him, since he offers to cook and he’s nowhere near bad at it.
He’s also perfectly polite and at times him and his uncle actually engage in conversation - mostly book-related things, and it’s his luck that apparently his uncle and his best friend share book tastes, and seeing that his uncle actually appreciates it at least makes Theon feel slightly better about his relatives - at least someone other than Asha doesn’t hate Robb on principle.
That’s not the fucking unbelievable thing.
The fucking unbelievable thing is that the day before he leaves, his uncle asks Theon if they can have a word.
“That’d be about that best friend of yours.”
“Oh. What about him?”
“Stop being an idiot and spill.”
For a moment, Theon honestly doesn’t get it.
“Sorry?”
“It’s completely and utterly obvious that the two of you would like to bring the whole best friends thing to the next level, so you might as well do it. Other than that, you’d be an idiot if you didn’t.”
“… And why would that be?”
“He likes you, he can cook more than decently, he’s actually not an ass like your two brothers - and you can stop pretending that you don’t share my opinion -, and on top of that he’s a sight for sore eyes, why the hell wouldn’t you go for it?”
Theon is too busy gaping to answer properly.
It can’t have just happened, except that it has, and the thing is that his uncle is right at least about Theon’s feelings in this entire matter, so he can’t even contradict him.
—
From that point on, Theon remembers, it just escalated. And escalated. The third time, which was three days before their last day of high school ever, was already an entirely different league of unbelievable.
—
3.
“What happened to you?”
Right. Of course Robb wouldn’t even say hi before asking.
“Nothing.”
“Theon. You have two black eyes and your cheek is fucking purple. Nothing my ass.”
Theon sighs and wishes he had more ice. There’s not enough ice in the world for this.
“Just promise you won’t make a big deal about it.”
“Theon, spill or I’ll make you.”
Theon supposes that the fifteen minutes of recess they have left will do. “All right. So uhm, yesterday evening, I went out. Just to distract myself a bit.” He doesn’t add also because I need to get laid so that I stop thinking about you in that sense. “And I went to this club. And - well, I didn’t get drunk, but I wasn’t entirely sober either.”
“Okay. And?”
“And Bolton was there. The one in the class before ours.”
“I know,” Robb says, not sounding happy about this at all.
“And - uhm, he came on to me. And I said no. And I tried to leave, but he apparently wasn’t expecting a no.”
“Wait - he did that?”
“Yeah, before someone from the staff there noticed and threw him out. But it’s fine, it’s just that.”
“Just - just that? Christ, are you even hearing yourself?”
“It’s done with, Robb. Just leave it, it’s not worth it to get your first detention three days before school is done.”
“You wish,” Robb hisses, but he doesn’t do anything for the moment.
But when they’re done with classes and outside school ground, Theon doesn’t manage to stop Robb before he stalks away and goes straight to Ramsay Bolton’s side - he’s talking with some idiotic friends of his and Theon just wishes that Robb would fucking not get involved.
“Bolton?” Robb asks, his voice strangely calm.
“What do you want?”
“Just to explain you that when someone tells you no, it’s a fucking no.”
And then Robb punches Ramsay Bolton in the nose, so hard that he bleeds from it.
Later, Theon learns that he broke it and he’ll have no clue of how Robb doesn’t end up being grounded for an entire year after that, but for the moment he just can’t fucking believe his own eyes. And at the same time he’s kind of feeling… well, not exactly pleased at it, but knowing that Robb would do that kind of thing when he completely and utterly loathes it just because of him makes him feel all kinds of warm, and -
That’s just not something that he should be thinking.
Also, that was just completely unfuckingbelievable.
—
Then there’s the part where they actually did fess up.
Theon has no clue if it’s just embarrassing or the most ridiculous sequence of events that ever happened in human history.
—
4.
The first time they argue is during the summer holidays.
Incidentally, it’s about Theon’s father - not anything new, except that this time Robb is furious.
“What do you mean with I’m going to Germany for the next two years?”
“I mean that I don’t have much of a choice.”
“Yeah, sure, to learn about all the ways to run fucking fishing boats when I’ve known for years that you can’t care less.”
“Well, fuck you very much, what else do I do? He’s not going to help me through school and he sure as fuck isn’t going to help me find some place to live while I attend, and I can’t touch my mother’s trust fund until I’m twenty-one, explain me what the hell I should do!”
“Maybe stand up to him for once instead of just doing what he wants and letting him ruin your life?”
The thing is that Robb is perfectly right about all of this, but Theon isn’t going to hear it and so he leaves slamming the door, and they don’t hear from each other in the next two weeks.
Incidentally, when he’s supposed to take his plane to Hamburg. His phone has no new texts or incoming calls - awesome. He had thought that he’d spend those stupid two weeks with Robb instead of sulking in his room and listening to his brothers and his father commenting on how happy they are that finally he’s done a sensible thing and stopped seeing Stark. If only they knew. At times he’s tempted to call and beg for forgiveness, but he never does - he knew he’d fuck it up at some point, so why even bother?
Asha looks at him with sympathy but it’s the end of it.
Then he has to go take his plane. He packs lightly, he can always go buy clothes there. He thinks that he and Robb were supposed to go to France for a couple of weeks later in the summer and he wants to punch through his suitcase, then he stops himself from doing it and lets Asha drive him to the airport in silence. Walking from the entrance to the check-in to his gate feels miserable - he feels like the stupid guy in those romantic comedies who is dumped thirty minutes from the ending and then there’s the ridiculous montage with the sad song running in the background and he walks alone around the city or his house for five minutes or so.
He sighs and opens his backpack as he sits at the gate - he has another two hours to go - and almost curses out loud when he sees that the only book he hasn’t put in his luggage currently headed for the plane is one that Robb had lent him.
He’s pretty sure that no one should ever find Nick Hornby depressing, but the more he goes through A Long Way Down the more he wants to have a nervous breakdown, because the more he reads the more he understands why Robb would like it and why he thought Theon would, and he gives up one quarter into it because he can’t take it anymore.
His cellphone is still free of text or incoming calls. He shuts it off and waits out the last hour he has in front of him. When they call his flight and the stewardesses appear behind the check-out, he takes a deep breath, thinking well you’re going to waste the next two years of your life, lighten up.
Then he hears some weird noise.
That turns into arguing.
“Listen, I know I can’t pass through, but I swear I don’t want to get on any plane, I just need to talk to someone.”
“Sorry, you don’t have a ticket, you’re not passing through.”
Theon stops dead in his tracks and looks at the two policemen standing next to the metal detector - and what the fuck is Robb doing there?
“Fuck, listen, I really have to, one of you can come in with me for all I care, as long as -”
“Robb, what the hell?”
Theon is on the other side of the detector before he even knows it, and - why is Robb looking at him as if he felt relieved?
“Oh, good, you didn’t leave yet,” Robb pants, and it’s obvious that he fucking ran his way here, at least from the entrance.
“No, but - what the fuck are you doing here?”
“Does he want to talk to you?” one of the policemen asks.
“Yeah. Uh, please, could you let him through for a moment? I swear, he’s not going to board the plane.”
The two look at each other and then at them. “Well, at least I’ll have something to tell my daughter tonight,” one of them says, and he lets Robb through.
And then Robb runs and throws his arms around him so hard that Theon can’t even breathe for a moment, but then he can’t even hug back because Robb has moved backwards, enough that they can look at each other in the face.
“I’m sorry,” he says, running over his words. “I know I was a jerk and I shouldn’t have - shit, I know your dad, and - I just - I was just pissed that he was ruining everything for the both of us again, you know? And I didn’t call back because I was hoping that you’d realize that you were throwing away your life and that you’d call first, and then Jon told me to get my head out of my ass and realize that maybe it should have been me apologizing, and he was right, and fuck but these were the most horrible two weeks of my life and - listen, I didn’t even ask you, but - do you actually want to go?”
“Fuck, what do you think? Of course I don’t, it’s just that I have no damned choice, but do you think that I want to spend the next few years of my life freezing on fishing boats when I always hated it?”
“Okay. Okay, good. Don’t go.”
“Don’t - Robb, and what the hell do I do if I don’t go? I couldn’t even go home for that matter -”
“You don’t have to. You can come stay with us, everyone agreed with it, actually my mom came up and told me that if I had to make everyone’s life miserable then you could move in, it’s not like you aren’t there half of the time anyway, and it’s not like you need school expenses to cover.”
“… What? I don’t?”
“Your sister showed up this morning after she drove you and said that the entire situation was completely ridiculous, and she handed me these. Which your dad had apparently not given you.”
Robb hands him three pieces of paper. Which are all letters from every place he had applied to for maths scholarships - he had never received an answer, so he had figured that the answer had been no. Except that every letter says yes instead, and while the time limit for accepting two of them has expired, the third still hasn’t.
“At that point I might have broken a couple of speed limits and left Jon in charge of the car. Unless he’s throwing up because I drove too fast. And - wait, don’t say anything, I need to get this out now. I stalled too much already.”
“All - all right?”
“Okay. Here it goes. Listen, the thing is, uh, the reason why I was so ridiculously pissed that you were leaving and that I might have not seen you for that long… well, it wasn’t just because I think you deserve better than your father being an ass to you. It was that - I don’t think I can - oh, fuck, I’m in love with you, all right? And I can’t even fucking wrap my head around not seeing you for years and knowing that you’re out there doing shit you hate, and I should have probably told you a long time ago as everyone nagged me to, and I -”
“Robb, shut the fuck up,” Theon cuts him, and then he doesn’t even think anymore - he kisses Robb and cuts it there because if he hears more he’s not going to have any dignified reaction, and then Robb’s hands are in his hair as he kisses back without hesitation, and he’s dimly aware that people are clapping around them but he tries not to think about it.
When they move away, it’s barely inches and Theon knows that his hands are shaking a bit as they reach up to cup Robb’s cheeks but who cares. Really.
“I’m - I’m not going anymore,” he says then, and Robb grins so wide at that, he kind of wants to kiss him again, but there are other things he should say first. “And - well, you kind of had a point, so let’s just forget that we ever argued about this?”
“Sounds good to me.”
“And - Robb? I - oh, fuck this, I’m in love with you, too, damn you, and don’t you dare think for a moment that I actually wanted to spend two years without seeing your face around, all right?”
“That - that - okay, I think that you should go do whatever it is that you do to get your suitcases back and then - then I think I’m taking you home and we’re catching up on the two weeks we just wasted, and then we’re buying those tickets for France. How about it?”
“I - that sounds great,” he breathes out before he kisses Robb again, slower this time, feeling almost dizzy, and then -
Then they part abruptly when they realize that the entire fucking amount of people around them is clapping. Stewardesses from his gate, stewardesses from all the
gates next to his, all the other passengers, the policemen that didn’t want to let Robb through, and one of them is saying that his daughter is going to love this, and a couple of teenage girls next to them are kind of crying and fuck his life, he can’t believe that they just fessed up in the middle of an airport with some two hundred people watching them.
His life is a joke.
But maybe not a bad one, he decides as Robb kisses him all over again.
—
You would think that you can’t possibly do worse than that.
Except that you can, and Theon only has himself to blame for that part.
—
5.
The next few years thankfully do not feature any other embarrassing moments, not of that kind.
Until they both graduate.
Thing is, Theon hadn’t exactly planned much beyond getting his master’s, and then his thesis advisor tells him that he should really apply for a PhD, and he does and he actually gets it, which means that he actually has some money that doesn’t go mostly into school expenses for once. And that he could spend it on something nice for once, not to mention that there are things that he’s been thinking about lately about where he stands with Robb.
Well, not anywhere bad. It’s been five years and everything has been going so well that Theon can barely believe it at times. Sure, his father and his brothers haven’t spoken to him in years and didn’t come to his graduation, but whatever - he went into it knowing that it would happen and he wouldn’t trade it for five years of doing something he wanted and sharing Robb’s bed at night (even when his damned dog insists on sleeping on it). Robb is done with school too, and who’d have thought that he’d end up wanting to freaking teach in elementary schools, but if that makes him happy, good for him.
Also, he’s been eyeing this small apartment for rent in a place that would be midway between Theon’s uni and Robb’s training, and closer to both than the Starks’ place is, and that for some miracle hasn’t been snatched yet - when Theon went to see it, the owner had said that it’s too big for one person, too small for more than two and until now they had only small families or single people seeing it. Theon snaps some pictures and asks the owner if they could have it on hold for three days, and whether they’d accept dogs. They say it’s no problem as long as the dog doesn’t ruin the floor, but Theon doesn’t worry about that - Robb doesn’t let Grey Wind do that at home, so it stands to reason that he shouldn’t do that anywhere else.
He prints out the pictures. Then he caves and asks Sansa for advice because he has no clue of how he should do it.
Sansa is very happy to provide, and while he’s not entirely sure about it, that’s how he finds himself in a nice Italian restaurant with an envelope in his coat’s pocket, flowers in a bag that he’s keeping carefully hidden under the table and a nervous crisis sneaking up on him. Which is ridiculous, Robb is the one who told him to move into his room years ago, so why should he be pissed or anything like that?
Maybe it has to do with his uncle Victarion calling him this morning and telling him that he really should stop wasting time and go back to fishing boats - talking to his family that isn’t Asha or on his mother’s side always puts him in a bad mood, but whatever.
Fine.
Robb gets there a moment later, looking maybe a bit flustered, but Theon doesn’t pay it any mind.
“How’s training?”
“The secretary should have been fired ages ago,” Robb sighs as he sits down. “Well, other than that, good. And which of your uncles called you?”
“What? How do you know?”
“It’s written all over your face.”
“Victarion. I closed the call before it was done. And really, let’s just get dinner.”
Theon keeps the topic carefully out of the conversation until after the dessert.
“I have something to ask you,” he says after taking a breath, except that Robb says the same at the exactly same time. They look at each other for a moment before Robb snorts and tells him to go first.
“So, uh, I’ve been thinking, you know, while I have no problem with your parents’ place, it could be nearer our respective workplaces. And - I’ve seen this place advertised at mine, and I went to check it out.” He hands Robb the envelope and tries not to look nervous as Robb opens it and looks at the pictures he took, at the prospect the owner gave him and everything else. “I thought - well, it’s good enough for two, and they say it’s fine to keep pets in it, and it’s closer to both my uni and that horrid place where you have training, and between the two of us we could afford it, I think, so - uh - maybe we could - oh, shit, do you want to move in with me for real or not?”
Robb looks at the pictures and then at him, his lips slowly curling up in a grin. “Well, that - that’s kind of - oh my god, I can’t believe this.”
“… Why?”
“You don’t know what I was about to ask you,” Robb says. And then he puts away the pictures and takes Theon’s hands in between his.
“So, thing is, I’ve been thinking about a lot of things lately. That too, but you beat me to it, and by the way, that place looks great, so my answer would be yes. Of course. But other than that… well. It seems like that’s - that’s it, right? I mean, I can’t imagine myself being with anyone else at the moment.”
“Me neither,” Theon agrees.
“And - well, we’re apparently doing good and maybe in a short while we might even get a regular paycheck.”
“Robb, where are you heading here?”
“Marry me?”
For a moment Theon is sure that he’s heard wrong.
“What - did you just -”
“You heard that right. I mean, why not? We might as well. We’ve lived together for years, we’re moving in together or so it seems, and I guess that it’s not even important if we do or not, but - you know, when you’re sure about the fucking love of your life you might as well own up to it. But if you think that it doesn’t change anything and it’s too much work just right now it’s fine, we don’t have to -”
“Robb. Stop. Don’t even. Yes, of course I’d fucking marry you. And damn, at this point it’s kind of stupid that I had brought you flowers.”
“… You did?”
Theon shrugs and grabs the bundle of forget-me-nots he had bought before walking inside here, and by the time he’s put it on the table, Robb has grabbed his hand and reached inside his pocket and -
“Stark, wait a moment. Wasn’t that ring something of your mother’s?” He remembers it - a classy silver ring with a small trout in the middle of it, obviously made for a man but that Theon remembers Robb’s mother having - some kind of family heirloom.
“Technically. It was supposed to be mine, it my great-uncle’s and he said that I might as well have it, but she always kept it because she couldn’t trust me not to lose it. Also it never fit me in the first place. But I think that it would fit you.”
And it does - Robb slips it on his ring finger and it fits perfectly.
Theon can’t fucking believe this.
“I can’t believe that you couldn’t have put half of that effort when you proposed to me,” an old lady sitting behind Robb tells her husband, and Theon isn’t even letting himself be surprised anymore, also because he’s too busy threading his fingers with Robb’s to worry about it.
—
That’d be why, right now, Theon is pretty much ready for whatever might happen. Considering how they got here, if everything goes according to plan he’s going to not fucking believe it.
—
+1
His father, his brothers and his uncles aren’t attending. Asha and his uncle Rodrik are. Then again, considering that they’d getting married in the Starks’ yard because they had both agreed that doing that at the register office was just depressing and it’s not like any of them was going to rent a fucking castle to get married, he highly doubts that his dad has even considered coming.
Everyone named Stark in this universe is attending. Until now, everything is going according to plan. Jon Snow has given him the ‘try to break his heart and I’ll kill you’ speech, but he stopped in the middle of it and said that it was ridiculous, they’ve been dating for too long for it to happen. Nothing he hadn’t expected.
What he doesn’t expect is Asha holding out her arm to him when he walks outside Sansa’s room - where he had been changing while Robb did the same in his own.
“What?”
“This is Stark’s place, so he’s obviously going to be waiting for you down there, and it’d be just fucking sad if you went on your own. Give me your arm before I change my mind.”
He recovers from that in moments though - well, okay, his sister doing something nice spontaneously is something that almost never happens, but sometimes it does, so nothing to feel too surprised about. They walk down the stairs and through the back door, where everyone is already sitting. Robb is waiting at the end of the makeshift aisle, as Asha had said, and - Sansa actually did a nice job organizing this. The registrar is waiting behind him - he’s a middle aged man with kind eyes and plain traits, dressed in a nice gray suit, and the pots full of flowers around the garden make it look kind of nice, but right now Theon is just trying to stop himself from tearing Robb’s dark red suit from him and skip directly to other activities - damn, Robb looks good in that. Snow is standing behind him, and Asha will do the same when she lets him go - it’s not like he had many others to ask to be his witness.
For some kind of miracle, it’s also a nice sunny day and maybe his heart skips a beat or two when Robb grabs his hand the moment Asha is gone to stand behind him. So maybe as the registrar - Davos Seaworth, right, that was the name - starts reciting the list of what this implies according to the law, Theon thinks that nothing has ever sounded better to his ears.
He’s never be surer of it when he says I do, and Robb looks like he’s about to weep in happiness when he says the same, and if the kiss turns into the french kind after a moment, everyone is clapping, registrar included, so Theon figures that no one minds.
They hold the reception inside, it’s not as if there are that many people, and the Starks’ place is big.
Then at some point Jon - who could have had less to drink, Theon decides - launches into the best man speech reminding everyone of how adorable Robb and Theon were when they rescued Grey Wind (who’s currently curled up in between him and Robb) and that he had known that he’d be attending the wedding since then. Rodrik joins in and says that he’s been telling Theon that for eight damned years, and at least he had understood the deal even if it took him ages. Theon is flushing red when Sansa speaks and asks out loud if anyone remembers that time Robb broke Ramsay Bolton’s nose, because it was so romantic oh my, and clearly Arya has to bring up the fact that someone had in fact filmed them when they kissed at the airport and put it on YouTube - Theon still can’t believe it has over a million views years later.
Clearly someone finds a laptop and searches it for the benefit of anyone who hadn’t seen it yet, and then Sansa has to speak again and spill the details about Theon asking her how he should ask Robb to move in with him while Robb had asked her about proposing exactly half an hour before and by then Theon is resigned to it - no one is every going to take them seriously ever again.
And then Rickon, Robb’s little brother, goes to sit next to them a moment later. “Robb, since when your life is a stupid romantic comedy?” he asks, sounding as if he just put two and two together.
Robb flushes red and swears that nothing had happened on purpose.
Theon shrugs and goes back to eating his cake while his fingers are still threaded around Robb’s under the table.
After everything, he’s definitely not surprised about this.
End.