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I thought I'd uncovered your secrets, but turns out there's more

Summary:

Isabelle spends some time with Magnus and Alec and realizes she's missed some things. There's happiness but also some sadness in this realization.

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Six months sober, and Izzy still struggles with downtime. She’s never been introverted or enjoyed being on her own, but her recovery has exasperated that aspect of herself tenfold.

Now she finds herself standing outside of a yoga studio at half past four in morning, a time she used to just be going to sleep. For once it seems she’s the first to arrive, something she had intended but is shocked she achieved. Things seem to so rarely go her way these days.

“Isabelle, my dear, it’s so good to see you,” Magnus greets, and Isabelle is surprised to have heard Magnus before she’s seen him.

He’s in subdued black clothing, skin clear of makeup and no visible jewelry.

He pulls her into a gentle hug and immediately she feels the comfort she’s been longing for since texting him yesterday evening. No one gives a comforting hug like Magnus Bane.

“I’m so glad you reached out. No one else likes to work out this early and I can’t imagine your brother ever willfully doing yoga.”

A pang of guilt hits Isabelle. She hadn’t reached out to Magnus until now for exactly this reason. She hates asking anyone for help, preferring to be the shoulder to cry on. But she also hates this, knowing Magnus obviously cares so much about Alec but will likely never have that care reciprocated.

“It would be funny to see though,” Isabelle agrees, a small smile.

She can fake it with the best of them. It’s part of what made her great at hiding when she was using.

Magnus bumps their shoulders together, scrunching his nose as he smiles fondly.

“Maybe one day we can make it happen.”

Isabelle’s heart squeezes and she can’t bring herself to even imagine the possibility. She wants it for Alec and for Magnus who both deserve the world. But she knows her brother like the back of her hand, and she knows he isn’t ready to come out, that he might never be ready.

She’ll love him anyway, but she still aches for Magnus whose love for Alec practically makes him glow.

“Maybe let me get through this class first. It’s been so long since I’ve had a good workout, I might have to tap out in the first ten minutes.”

“Well then I guess it’s a good thing I’ve reserved the whole class just for the two of us,” Magnus replies opening the door as Isabelle gasps.

Part of her wants to be offended Magnus did this unprompted, yet a larger part is overjoyed to have someone who knows her so well and wants to spend time with her anyway. The true her.

“As a fellow perfectionist, I can relate.”

“I just don’t like to lose even if it’s technically not a competition.”

“Oh, you Lightwoods,” Magnus laughs as opens the door for her. “Never a dull moment.”

 

They emerge from the class an hour later, sweaty but invigorated. Isabelle is buzzing with an energy she hasn’t felt in months, even being complimented on her form. Magnus beams with pride beside her and he slings an arm around her shoulders.

“What do you say to breakfast? I know we look awful but there’s this hole in the wall spot around the corner. No one we will know, and it’s one of your brother’s favorites.”

“Oh, so he can eat something fried in secret?” Isabelle tenses, because there’s a lot more than that Alec is keeping a secret.

Magnus, however, seems completely unaware of her slip. He hums to himself and texts Alec.

“He’s actually been on a sweets kick recently.”

Izzy can’t picture that, but Magnus does know the best spots in the city for anything and everything.

A moment later, Magnus chuckles and shakes his head, but the look on his face is a fond one.

“He already has our booth.”

“You have your own booth?” Isabelle can’t contain the incredulousness in her voice.

Magnus smiles sweetly and opens a door for her abruptly. A hole in the wall indeed. It’s quaint though and so small it’s incredibly easy to spot Alec in a corner directly facing the door.

“Apparently he has a huge thing about facing every possibly exit,” Magnus says with an eye roll but again his tone is fond.

Which, okay, yes that makes much more sense. There’s an almost zero percent chance of being seen here at a small, non-health-conscious spot near Brooklyn. And even if someone were to come close, Alec would spot them first.

Alec stands up as they near, hugging her before sitting down on the outside seat while Magnus slides inside the booth. A way for a quick exit, if need be, Izzy assumes.

“I already ordered both of your drinks; I wasn’t sure what you’re feeling food wise.” Alec rolls his eyes at this. “Magnus insists on never ordering the same thing twice.”

“Life’s too short,” Magnus shrugs as he opens the menu, but not before pecking Alec on the cheek.

Instinctively Izzy looks around the restaurant for potential witnesses but due to the hour, it’s almost empty.

A moment later their server comes out with two steaming mugs of coffee and a purple looking juice which makes Izzy wrinkle her nose. She can’t imagine anything but coffee first thing.

Alec sees her disgust and smiles.

“He insists juice is the superior morning drink.” Alec bemoans but loops his arm around Magnus’ waist as he does so.

She shakes her head but wastes no time in inhaling her coffee and watching as Alec does the same.

Magnus simply shrugs off their words, sipping demurely at his drink. Alec presses a quick kiss to his temple.

“How was your workout?” Alec asks, and without even looking up from the menu Izzy knows he’s doing that thing with his eyebrows.

“Wonderful! Dorothea even complimented Isabelle’s impeccable form.”

Izzy glances up to see Alec’s face scrunch up. She reaches over and smacks him hard in the shoulder.

“Hey! My form is impeccable, jerk!”

“That wasn’t for you,” Alec retorts, rubbing at the spot she hit. “Dot. She hates me.”

“Mildly dislikes and distrusts,” Magnus interjects at the same time Isabelle asks, “You’ve met Magnus’s friends?”

Alec shrugs and he leans over to Magnus. “Have you decided? I’m starving.”

Smiling, Magnus shuts the menu. “I’ve just been waiting for you, my dear.”

Alec turns to Izzy and shakes his heads. “That means he’s decided between two things, and we should order first. But anyways, yes, I’ve met a few of them. It’s impossible to meet everyone Magnus knows. Why?”

Snorting, Magnus shakes his head. “Dear, I think she’s surprised that Dot is the only one you have strong feelings on.”

“I don’t like Raphael either, he’s just not your ex. It’s less weird.”

Izzy is surprised to note Alec is the jealous type. He’s always been self-confident aside from issues with their parents. It’s a Lightwood trait.

The surprise must show on her face.

“It’s not like that,” Alec begins only to be interrupted to give their order.

He gestures for her to go first, and then he goes ordering French toast and fruit, indulging in sweets like Magnus had said earlier. As Alec had teased earlier, Magnus still wasn’t quite ready and asks their server for help ordering while also engaging in polite conversation.

She is certain that without Magnus, Alec would be more than happy to have his meals always delivered without any contact. However, she watches as he smiles at both Magnus and their server and even contributes to their small talk.

“Anyways Iz, it’s not a jealousy thing,” Alec begins again, and Izzy shakes herself because she’d forgotten what they were even talking about.

“Magnus has had a least one date with half of New York,” Alec pauses to smile at Magnus teasingly. “But she’s just weird about it. But I guess some people are that way. Don’t really have any exes to compare with Magnus.”

“And none ever could,” Magnus quips and Alec lights up like it was the funniest thing in the world.

“Maia was the same way with me when she and Simon started dating, and we had barely hooked up.”

Alec scrunches his face, and she kicks him under the table, and they have a minor foot scuffle.

“But” she continues once they stop. “We just started talking one day and found out we had some things in common besides Simon and things were nice from there.”

Aside from the many unread and unanswered texts in Isabelle’s phone.

“I think this is a bit . . . different,” and the look on Alec’s face and tone of his voice suggested there was information she wasn’t privy to.

Their food is brought out shortly after and Alec excuses himself to use the restroom.

“The Dorothea thing, I think you caught the undercurrent there,” Magnus begins gently.

She nods, feeling a surge of protectiveness for her older brother. He’s always been the sensitive one and she’s irrationally worried Magnus did something to violate that. Perhaps since Alec can’t or won’t fully give him what he wants.

“There was a moment some months ago she tried to kiss me. I put a stop to it and we haven’t been alone since, and told your brother everything. He knows there’s nothing there, and I assumed he knew I was taking you to her class since she’s the only yoga class I attend. We will talk about it, but there’s nothing there, I promise. I love your brother.”

“I know you do,” she replies after a moment to find her words. “But what if things never change? And Alec isn’t ready to go public with you?”

It’s Magnus who appears to be lost for words. He opens as if to speak and there’s an odd look in his eyes.

“I think you should talk to your brother about that, but I’m positively happy with how things are between us.”

Alec sits down shortly after and doesn’t appear to notice the odd atmosphere between the two and he immediately begins to dig in.

“Kaelie has awful taste in men, but wow can she make a mean French toast,” Alec states, mouth full of food.

She’s so disgusted it takes a moment for his words to register.

“Kaelie? Jace’s Kaelie?”

Alec laughs. “Yeah, how do you think we found out about this place?”

Suddenly, Magnus finds the ceiling very interesting.

“Wait, did Magnus tell you he discovered it?” He brightens immeasurably and looks teasingly at his boyfriend.

“I have a reputation, Alexander.”

Alec’s smile stays as big as ever, and Izzy can’t help but smile too.

“Your secret is safe with us Magnus; this could be hilarious to tease Jace about.”

“Can you imagine his face?” Alec adds as they all discuss various scenarios of Jace losing his mind as they give Magnus all the credit for Alec’s favorite restaurant.

It’s not much too much longer before they’re all done and leaving. She’s surprised for what seems the umpteenth time as she watches Alec slide his hand into Magnus’s as the leave.

This time, Alec catches her surprise and gives a similar look at his own.

And suddenly all the pieces fall into place, and her face falls with them. She’s missed so much.

“Isabelle,” Alec says softly, and he gently cups her elbow.

His softness with her hasn’t changed at least and he gently pulls her into a nearby alcove.

“Is everything okay?” He whispers, and she glances around him to see Magnus looking concerned but giving them space.

“Everything’s fine. I just… I’ve missed so much.”

“What are you talking about? You’ve known about Magnus before I knew about Magnus.”

“That’s not what I mean, and you know it.”

She glares at him and he stares impassively back. This last for a few minutes before she gives up with an eyeroll.

“You’re going to make an incredibly stubborn father one day you know,” she jokes to break the tension somewhat.

“Well Magnus insists on condoms for now, but maybe soon.”

“Alec!” She smacks him the chest and lasts with a joy she didn’t expect in this moment, then lowers her voice to a whisper. “You just made a sex joke.”

He’s beaming, and she knows he’s happy to have made her smile.

“I just didn’t realize you two were so serious, and so open now.”

His smile slips and he looks a bit sad. “Iz.”
“Please don’t try to comfort me right now Alec, this is a fact I have to deal with. I was too busy getting high to be there.”

She’s suddenly, fiercely and yet gently pulled into a hug. She hugs back with all she has and lets herself be comforted.

“A lot has changed Izzy, but this” and he squeezes her tightly, “never will. You are my baby sister and one of my favorite people in the world. I missed a lot too. But we can’t beat ourselves up. We just try to do better. We will do better, okay?”

He pulls aways and looks her directly in the eye.

“I love you,” she whispers, pulling him back into a hug.

“I love you too.” He kisses the top of her head, and she collects herself before pulling Alec back towards Magnus.

“I’m sorry about that,” she says and Magnus waves her off.

“Nothing to be sorry about my dear,” he squeezes her arm. “Shall we walk you home?”

She shakes her head. “I need the alone time but thank you.”

They both look as surprised as she feels. Again, solitary time has never been for her. But as happy she is for them, she’s still smarting from all the revelations she’s missed. She hugs them both again and watches them leave hand in hand.

She’s missed a lot, and she can’t do anything about that. But she can continue to show up, for herself and others. And that’s more than enough.