Work Text:
November 2018 – Montreal
Although Shane had come out to his teammates at the start of the season, he hadn’t told any of them about Ilya. If there ever was a secret that could cost him his career it was that one and he wasn’t ready to blurt it out.
“Hey, can I ask you something?” Hayden said about a month after Shane had told him he was gay.
“You know how you used to meet up with that mysterious Lily” he made air quotes with his fingers as he said Lily, knowing now far too well that girl name was a pseudonym “every time we played in Boston?”
Shane nodded, unsure where this was going
“…But now you don’t?” Hayden prodded.
“Um. We, uh...broke up,” Shane said quickly. And unconvincingly.
“But you’ve been driving to Ottawa a lot this season.”
Uh-uh. He really didn’t like where this was heading.
“Yeah, my parents live there. I’ve been, um, visiting.”
“Your parents have always lived there, and they are in Montreal all the time. I have another theory.” Hayden paused and swallowed what looked like an ungodly amount of saliva and terror. “I think Lily is Ilya Rozanov.”
Shane was flooded with a mixture of fear and shame, but also relief.
In an instant, he thought of a million ways to shake off the suspicion – laugh, call Hayden crazy, saying that was a nice joke, but he was tired of that, of the infinite lies. He had let people believe a lot, lied by omission, purposefully not corrected wrong assumption, but this would have to be straight up looking into his best friend’s eyes and denying a truth that he had already figured out. Though he didn’t quite know how. He blew out a breath and nodded.
Hayden looked at him like Shane had sprouted wings and a tail, and Shane was sure he’d just lost his best friend. But, instead of yelling at him or getting in his car and speeding away, Hayden just nodded and said, “I think I need to meet him properly, then.”
Well, Shane thought, that was unexpectedly mature of Hayden.
June 2014 – Montreal
(4 and ½ years earlier)
Hayden watched the last few minutes of the playoff final match with a growing sense of nausea, as it became clear that the Boston Bears were going to win the freaking Stanley cup.
Man, he fucking hated Rozanov, and now he was going to have to watch his grabby Russian hands lift up a cup that he and Shane had yet to win once in their life.
Jackie, who was sitting next to him, but almost in his lap (with a house full of hockey players there wasn’t much room left on the sofa and chairs that they had gathered around the TV) seemed to notice his unease and started stroking his hair. She always knew things before he told her, probably before he knew.
“You guys will win the cup soon, don’t stress – let the Bears think they are the best team for a little while, then you’ll snatch the Cup right out of their hands for many, many seasons to come. You’ll get so many Cups we’ll use them as wine glasses, babe”
Hayden snorted, amused at the thought of a full dinner table with dessert spoons tightly lined in front of 12 massive Stanley Cups.
“I don’t think that’s a realistic outcome, but thank you, my love.”
Jackye kissed his forehead.
“You don’t stress that pretty head of yours”
Hayden noticed how she glanced at Shane, who was sitting not too far from them, next to their badly injured goalie Drapeau, whose broken limb had basically cost them the playoffs.
“You too, Shane” she added “Don’t stress about Rozanov winning this year”
“Yeah” Hayden added, “You’ll catch up and do better, you always do. Fuck that man.”
That earned him a painful squeeze from his wife’s hand, that was resting on his shoulder.
What? He mouthed. Was that not a nice thing to say?
He did notice that Shane had seemed to tense at his words, probably at the mention of “catching up to Ilya”. Rozanov had won the International Prospect Cup the first year he had played against Shane, but his friend had gotten even the following year. Rozanov had been the number 1 draft pick, but Shane had won Rookie of the year. Hayden was a rookie the same year as Shane, they were both Canadian and Hayden had no shame admitting he had been really excited to find himself on the same team as Canada’s golden boy, so what if he’d stalked his Wikipedia page a little (contributed to it even). Hayden himself had never won much. Sure, he was a player in a major league and had succeeded where thousands of young men failed every year, but he had accepted that he’d never be a star player, he was more of reliable team player. A small fish in big pond, as they say. But a delightfully happy fish. He was comfortable with what he had, he didn’t want the kind of pressure that Shane was under – constantly pinned against his rival for the number one spot. That must have been exhausting.
Hayden now felt bad for saying that Shane was catching up to Ilya Rozanov. He was adding extra pressure. He figured that pinch from Jackie was well deserved. See? She always got there before he did.
“Sorry buddy, I didn’t mean to say you catch up to him. He’s the one trying to catch up, you are the fucking GOAT.”
But as he said that the match ended with a roar from the Boston crowd and the whole room going “Boooh” as the Bears were officially declared Stanly Cup winners. So that didn’t help Hayden’s attempt to cheer Shane up. Damn, it looked like the guy was about to cry.
Hayden put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed.
“I’m gonna go grab another drink”
Jackie took his spot on the sofa and got closer to Shane, who was still staring at the TV, transfixed, as a very emotional Ilya Rozanov was shown saying something in Russian to the camera.
Jackie looked at Shane’s face, noticed him… fighting a smile? One corner of his mouth trying to shoot up even as he bit his lips.
“Hold on. Am I missing something?” she said, with a small laugh, stretching back to get a better look at her husband’s best friend like he was going mad.
“What?” the Voyageurs Captain turned towards her like he just remembered he was not alone in the room. Hayden was back from the kitchen with a beer and a Canada Dry.
“You look half like you are about to cry and half like you are really, really, happy the Bears just won that game and it’s kind of unexpected, so I’d sell my first born to know why.” Jackie clarified
Hayden scoffed as he sat on the carpet in front of the sofa.
“That’d be the twins, so I guess it’s two for the price of one if you want to take that deal, Captain. Please do. They are monsters.”
“I’d take one” Drapeau shouted from somewhere behind “And a Corona if you have one”
“Go be weird somewhere else” was Jackie’s calm reply – clearly not her first time dealing with a goalie’s unhinged words.
Shane’s eyes were wide. He clearly didn’t know what was happening around him. He quickly wiped his face with the back of his sleeve, before even a hint of a tear could escape and started mumbling “No, I mean, it’s not like I am happy they won, this was an intense game to watch. And I am happy for the Bears, I guess, yes, not because they are the Bears, it’s just that they played well all season, it wasn’t a dirty win tonight, I think there’s a lot to learn about how they played those last 20 minutes and I think if we had…”
“Mon Dieu, Captain mode activated” JJ alerted everyone, scrambling away towards the patio with a beer in his hand.
“Guess I’ll shut up” Shane said, raising his hands up in defeat.
Hayden handed him the cold can of ginger ale.
“Cheers to that”
A few moments later Hayden stopped looking at the game highlights on TV and his eyes dropped towards Shane’s hands, holding his phone. Unsurprisingly, he was texting Lily. Whoever she was, hers was the only name that regularly showed up on Shane’s phone. It had been going on for years. All the times Hayden had tried to hook him up with some nice Canadian girls none had ever stuck. It was always “she’s not my type” (did Shane even have a type? NONE of the girls he had met were ever his type, talk about being extra picky), or “I am too busy with hockey now to date” or “Yeah, I went out with her once or twice but there was no chemistry, sorry”. And yet Lily kept popping up on his phone. And for some mysterious reason Shane always looked like he was about to jump in front of a bus if Hayden casually asked when he was going to make Lily a honest girl and introduce her to his team.
Hayden didn’t mean to read what Shane was now writing, obviously. That’d be rude, an invasion of privacy. It was just that, with him sitting on the floor and Shane on the sofa, the phone was really close to his eye level.
Guess this is a big night for you, uh?
Good day to be a Boston fan, ugh... Congrats on the win
But don’t get too used to it, I’m coming for the Cup next year
Hayden grimaced. Of course Lily was a Boston fan, Shane would always text her and then disappear, clearly to hook up with her, when they were in Boston. She was Boston Lily at this point in Hayden’s mind.
He had discussed this with Jackie, including wondering why Shane was so adamant in denying he was regularly texting anyone. His wife’s wise words had only been “if he doesn’t want you snooping around, just don’t snoop around”.
Was Shane ashamed of this Lily because she was a Boston Bears fan? That seemed a bit extreme, even for someone as stuck up about hockey as Hollander.
The following hour was spent just chitchatting and sipping beers, as more and more guests started to leave the party, until it was basically just the Pikes and Shane, who had volunteered to help out with the cleaning, because of course he had.
Jackie and Shane were in front of the sink cleaning dishes, post-game interviews were over and the sport channel was on mute, just showing Boston going wild, the kids were sleeping.
Shane’s phone buzzed and Hayden, from across the room, saw him quickly dry his hands, read something and grin. He had no idea what he had just read but something told him it was a text from Boston lily and that Shane had been waiting for it for hours. Probably a dirty text based on how quickly the device had been hidden from Jackie’s prying eyes and shoved back into a pocket.
Shane left about half an hour later and Hayden was quick to tip toe behind his wife, wrap an arm around her waist and whisper into her hear “So, what did the text say?”
She shook her head
“Hayden, no snooping. You wound me to think that I would…”
“Jackie, cut the bullshit, I know you looked”
“Ok, I looked” she folded quickly. They didn’t really have any secrets. With three young kids they were way too tired to keep secrets. She turned into his arms to face him.
“So? Shane had texted her something like enjoy tonight’s win because the Voyageurs are coming for the Cup next year.”
“Well” she looked over his shoulders at their babies for a second “Her reply is probably not something I’d read aloud in front of kids. The first text he got was something along the lines of Yeah, coming for the Cup, uh? Over my dead body, then the second text was like I prefer you come all over my very alive body and then there was another text I couldn’t catch before he hid his phone but I definitely read the word cock in all caps”
Hayden nodded slowly.
“Yep. Sounds like Lily from the few texts I have unfortunately come across. Who would have thought Shane Hollander would like such a foul-mouthed Boston fan. Now that I think about it, that may actually be the reason why he won’t admit he likes her and even just mention her”
Jackie made a dubious expression and pouted.
“I don’t know, I think there’s something else we are missing from the picture”
Hayden raised his shoulders, fresh out of ideas, and kissed his wife on the nose.
“Thanks for letting me have the guys over today, I know it’s a lot of work, but I think it was nice for the team, and for Shane, that man did not need to be alone today watching his rival crash his dreams”
Jackie smiled.
“I don’t know, he did not seem crashed to me. Again. I think we are missing something. Are you absolutely sure he hates the Bears?”
“What, you think he wants to get traded or something?” his panicked voice cracked a little
“No, no, I am just saying… never mind, I don’t know what I am saying. I am sure it’s nothing.”
Her hands were caressing Hayden’s cheek in a soothing motion.
“Enough with Boston Lily. Let’s go to bed.”
October 2015 – Montreal
“Want to come over for dinner tonight, Shane? We can crack open a couple of beers and celebrate kicking Boston’s ass once again”
Hayden was positively beaming as he got dressed in the locker room. He had even scored a goal tonight. Sure, Rozanov’s smirk when he’d said “Oh, wow, Pike, is it your first goal ever in the NHL? I don’t think I remember you being on the ice before, are you new? Were you goalie before?” had been pretty unnerving, but fuck him. He was just mad because Shane had been on a roll, scoring a hat trick, so that Boston had ended up losing 2 to 5. That spiteful Russian could chirp all he wanted, it wouldn’t take away from the result.
“No, sorry, I can’t, I have plans”
Hayden’s eyebrows shot up.
“Plans? You have plans? Do tell”
Was he finally seeing someone in Montreal? Hayden knew his friend was private, but he couldn’t help his curiosity.
“Oh, no, nothing, uh… my… uhm an old friend from school is in town, he wanted to talk, hum.. about hockey… stuff…” Shane mumbled as he grabbed his shoes from the locker.
Well, that sounded like bullshit.
“Ok… You know you can just say no if you are tired or don’t feel like hanging out and I won’t be offended, right? You don’t have to make excuses with me, buddy”
“It’s not… I am not… I do have plans” Shane muttered to his shoes, avoiding eye contact completely.
“Alright. Well, I guess I’ll just chill tonight, then. Too bad, though, Jackie was thinking of having her friend Meredith over, you know, the one that is like a kindergarten teacher or something, long legs and red hair? I am sure I showed you her Instagram…”
“You did.”
That sounded cold. Like “you fucking did show me already, I already fucking said not my type” had been condensed in two words and a lot of attitude.
“Ok… chill, man”
Shane shook his head
“I am sorry, that came out wrong. I really do have plans. You mentioned this Meredith yes, I just, I don’t think we have anything in common, I…”
“Dude, your whole world is hockey, either you start living a little or you’ll have to fuck an NHL team captain if you want to have something in common with your partner”
A groan escaped Shane’s mouth as he packed his bag and grabbed his phone, clearly ready to run for the door. Ok, maybe that had been a bit of a crass reply.
“Have fun, then, with… your friend…”
Hayden’s eyes lingered on Shane’s phone, lighting up with a short buzz. A familiar name in clear view above the message preview.
Lily
You still up for tonight, yeah?
Ah. Boston Lily was in town. Damn, no hopes for Canadian girls tonight, then.
Hayden looked at his friend, freckled nose all scrunched up in concentration and a hint of a smile on his lips as he typed away a reply.
He talked about it again with Jackie later that night. How weird it was that no woman on earth seemed to ever have a crumb of the hold that this Lily had on Shane.
“You know, I don’t just randomly throw women and him. I have made a list over the years. It’s in my phone, really. I have set him up with blondes, brunettes, tall women, short women, someone with a career, someone who just want to be a WAG, someone from Canada, someone not form Canada… It’s never his type… Do you think it’s something kinky? Like, when he says she’s not my type, maybe it’s because his type is like, I don’t know, pregnant women or grannys? Could Lily be 70 years old?”
Jackie, who was very pregnant with their third kid at the time and lying on the couch with her hear resting on her husband’s legs, made the same face she’d make changing diapers.
“God, Hayd, I don’t want to know why you went there as I first hypothesis. I really don’t want to ever see your porn history”
Her husband looked down with a dumb, honest smile and a wink.
“I do love it when you are pregnant with my babies…”
“Don’t I know… that’s kind of why I am always pregnant…”
“And I will love you when we are old and wrinkly…”
He leaned in and started peppering her swollen belly with kisses.
“… but I just feel lost when it comes to understanding Shane, that man is a mystery sometimes.”
Jackie reached up and ran her fingers through his hair. She had kept notes too and she had her suspicions of what type of person Shane might prefer, but she was not about to make assumptions and share them with this teammate when the man was obviously trying to be private.
“I think he’ll tell you when he’s ready to tell you,” she offered, gently, hoping that would be enough to make her husband keep his nose out of his friend’s business for a while more.
“I’ll send you the list” Hayden scoffed “You’ll see. There are basically no options left. If you can guess what box Lily fits into, I’ll pay a hundred dollars, I swear”
October 2016 – Montreal
The Montreal Voyageurs, the 2015 Stanly Cup champions, had just lost their first game against the Boston Bears and Rozanov had been simply insufferable about it.
Hayden got out of the shower and realized he was in no mood to go home. Jackie had just found out she was two months pregnant with their fourth child and there were two feisty 3-year-olds and a fussy 1-year-old with a cold waiting for him to come home to sneeze all over him. Jacki’s mom was there to help out, and that didn’t make the idea of going back any more appealing to Hayden.
And on such a shitty day, of course Rozanov had to score three goals against them.
“You know what would be sweet?” Hayden asked. “You know that movie, The Purge? Where you get to, like, break whatever laws for one night with no consequences?”
“Sort of,” Shane said.
“Man, if that was real, I would murder the fuck out of Rozanov.”
Shane laughed, before they were interrupted by their coach. Shane was needed for the press conference, but Hayden grabbed him quickly before he slipped away, with pleading eyes.
“Hey, Shane, do you think I could crash at your place again tonight? I need to get a good night of sleep and I don’t want to catch whatever Arthur’s got. Plus I forgot I left my headphones there, and I won’t survive a weekend home with sick kids and a mother-in-law without them”
Sometimes when he needed a break, Shane would let him have the keys to a condo he had purchased for some project to resell apartments at a profit. Hayden was not sure why that condo was always there, empty, and had been for a while. Shane wasn’t a great businessman apparently, or simply didn’t have the time to look into potential buyers. He’d offered to help him sell it or rent it out, but Shane had gone stiff immediately and said no. To be honest, he hadn’t seemed thrilled to even let Hayden know the place existed, but he had reluctantly talked about it once when the twins had gotten mumps and Hayden, who’d unlike his wife never had that as a kid, had needed a place that wasn’t a hotel to basically quarantine his family away.
Ever since that moment, Hayden had tried to take advantage of the place like it was a fortress of silence where he could sneak away to play videogames and drink beer without anyone around. It didn’t happen often, he was a happy family man, but it helped him keep his sanity every once in a few months.
Shane bit his lower lip, and scratched the back of his neck, looking away, the way he often did when he was making up excuses.
“Can’t let you use it tonight, sorry. I… uhm… it needs to be ready for viewing for a potential buyer tomorrow morning, very early, and…”
Hayden sighed. Goodbye night of freedom.
“Can I at least grab my headphones? I can stop on the way home and be out of there in a minute”
Shane seemed to consider. The coach was hurrying him along.
“Yeah, I mean, ok. I am sorry, really. You still have the door code, you can be in an out, like right after we finish here, right?”
He sounded so nervous about it that Hayden had the ridiculous thought that Shane was using the place for some shady, illegal business, for a second.
Ridiculous, not golden boy Hollander.
“Sure can. You won’t even know I stopped by. Be a ninja basically. Grab my headphones and be out in a second.”
And so that was half an hour ago, and now Hayden was parking his car on a nearby street, because he had had no luck finding a free spot anywhere near the building entrance (the day was cursed) and then punching in the front door code to let himself into the apartment to look for his precious noise cancelling headphones (precious in every sense considering their importance with three crying babies, but also how much he had freaking paid for them).
He found them immediately, right next to the TV where he had played Mario Kart, neatly arranged next to the rest of the neatly arranged furniture, and slipped them in his pocket. This place was so clean it was surreal, and it smelled nice too, so the complete opposite of Hayden’s home right now.
He sighed, suddenly tired and weary. His legs felt like Jello, and he thought he really ought to turn off the lights and sit down for a second before getting back behind the wheel. He was a responsible father of three – well, soon to be four – he could not risk falling asleep behind the wheel. And what if he messed up the perfectly lined up pillows on the couch to take a 20-minute nap. Shane would understand.
Hours later Hayden woke up with a rush of adrenaline when the door lock clicked.
Shit.
He’d fallen asleep, had been fully out, and he hadn’t set an alarm. He froze in place. Was it morning? The blinds were sealed shut, he had no idea if it was night or day outside. Were these the potential buyers? He wasn’t about to embarrass himself by being caught sleeping there like a homeless maniac.
He very quietly slid down the sofa towards the fuzzy carpet, while holding his breath and counting how many thuds he heard from the entrance. Four. So two pairs of shoes being taken off.
Then he heard Shane’s voice. Which was both a relief and the worst possible option, after he’d sworn he’d be out of there in a minute like a ninja. A lazy, sleepy ninja crawling on the carpet, apparently.
“How long do you have?” he distantly heard Shane say to the person that was entering the apartment with him.
“Two hours, maybe?”
Wait. Wait. Waitwaitwaitwait.
Was that…? No, was Hayden still asleep and having a fucking nightmare or was that Ilya Rozanov’s voice he just heard? A very recognizable voice that had been spitting chirps at them on the ice a few hours prior?
“Fuck” was all Shane uttered, before the only noise Hayden could hear above the thumping of his own heart was a frenzy of bodies being pushed around, thumping against walls, grunting, maybe a slap? Did Hollander just take up Hayden’s idea and decided to lure Rozanov into an empty apartment to beat the shit out of him? Was Hayden supposed to help…? And in that case, help the possible murder victim or, more likely, help his friend bury the body?
He didn’t have much time to think about it before Rozanov spoke.
“Don’t worry, Hollander,” he said, in his heavy accented voice “I am going to fuck you like you want, yes?”
And that was when Hayden’s brain basically shut down. They say your life flashes before your eyes when you are about to die. Turns out your life also flashes before your eyes when you realize you may be about to listen to your best friend be fucked into the mattress by the least likely person on the planet. All the times Shane had said “not my type”. Well, no shit, if Rozanov was his type. He suddenly remembered when he had told him he should date an NHL captain if he wanted someone with similar interests. Oh, fuck, he didn’t actually mean it.
He made himself as small as possible, crumbled up into a ball, hands on his ears, wondering how on earth he was going to make it out of there without combusting from sheer embarrassment and praying those two were headed to the bedroom, not the living room.
But for now it sounded more like they weren’t going to make it out of the entrance with their clothes on. Hayden dared to take a quick peak from under the couch, to see if there was any way he could get to the door and nope, definitely not.
Shane was being held by his wrists, backed against the entrance door, legs open wide, eyes closed, a giant Russian man pinning him in place with just one hand.
This was surreal. Surely he was having a lucid nightmare, surely the sound that escaped Shane’s lips when Rozanov’s other hand slipped inside his pants was the stuff of nightmares.
Hayden tried to look elsewhere, but he didn’t know what was worse, the noises without context were simply obscene. Those two were fucking loud. And if he didn’t look he’d likely miss his chance to bolt as soon as possible. He heard some more shuffling, the sound of clothes being taken off, the clanking of a belt loop hitting the floor.
“I won, so I get what I fucking want, yes?” Rozanov was teasing.
“Fuck you”
“No, I want to fuck you, Hollander, don’t be ridiculous. But I want to taste your cock first”
Was he for real?
“Oh, God”
Well, that answered the question of whether Rozanov was really going to blow Shane against the door. That and the wet, sloppy sounds that he was making.
“I need you inside me, fuck, just hurry up…”
Apparently Rozanov’s laughter was just as annoying even when he had his mouth full. He released Shane’s cock with a pop, then teased him “So greedy, Hollander, you should have won if you wanted to boss me around tonight, but, ah, you are lucky, I am generous, da? Where is lube, I’ll make you scream my name some more.”
“I didn’t scream your name”
“Didn’t you say Oh God? I am hockey God”
“Oh, please, you absolute egotistical…”
“You want my cock or not? Lube?”
Shane muttered something angry under his breath, then something that sounded like “the bedroom”
Hayden remembered he needed to breathe. He chanced looking again. Both Shane and Rozanov were naked now, clothes laying at their feet. Their faces were flushed, and there was something so tender in the way Rozanov put a hand in Shane’s hair and guided their mouths back together that seeing it made Hayden way more uncomfortable than anything he’d witnessed up to that moment. Then they were off to the bedroom and Hayden had no intention of being a witness to whatever was going to happen once the lube had been found, so he bolted for the door and he was pretty sure he broke some kind of world record with how fast he reached the building exit.
His heart was racing, his stomach was in a knot, acid reflux coming up towards his mouth. His tongue felt dry, his hands were shaking. He needed to put some order into his mind.
Jackie would help.
He entered his own bedroom twenty minutes later, still in such a shocked state that Jackie’s eyes went wide with terror when she woke up and saw him.
“Oh my God, are you okay? Did something happen? You texted you were making a quick stop after the game and it’s been…” she looked at her phone “…almost 4 hours? Were you in an accident?”
Her hands went up to his face, searching for a sign of what was wrong, the way she always did when one of the kids fell and started crying. Hayden also felt like he wanted to cry.
“I…”
He didn’t know where to start.
“I am okay.”
He figured he should reassure her first that he was not having a stroke. Though he felt like he may as well be. She sighed in relief.
“Then what the fuck”
She had switched from worried to mad really fast, like any good mom.
“ShaneisfuckingIlyafuckingRozanovandIsawthem” was the only thing that Hayden managed to blurt out, and he was sure it was not understandable English, yet Jackie sighed and only said two words.
“Oh. That.”
Oh, that? Like he had just told her there was snow in Canada. When he had basically had an aneurysm over this?
“What do you mean… what… did you hear what I just said?”
“Yeah, even though you said it really fast, but yes, Shane Hollander is sleeping with a man and somehow you walked into that. I do have to tell you, sweety, I am not that shocked…”
Hayden wanted to cry at the absurdity of this whole situation. Was this whole night a really elaborate joke? Was he going mad?
“I said he’s fucking Ilya Rozanov”
“Yes, ok, the fact that Ilya is Lily, I suppose is a little upsetting for you, but…”
Something in Hayden’s brain short-circuited
“He is Lily?! Boston Lily? Boston Lily is Ilya Rozanov?”
Jackie looked disappointed.
“I though you’d made that connection all by yourself by now. Are there any other foul-mouthed Boston Bear fans that happen to be around any time there is a Bears vs Voyageurs game that you saw kissing Shane?”
“Oh I wish I had only seen them kiss…”
Jackie’s eyebrows shot up.
“Do tell”
“I am trying to remove that image from my brain and I think I am going to pray that someone smashes my head into the boards hard enough to give me a concussion and forget this whole thing when we play against Buffalo next Sunday”
But then he told her, well, not exactly the details, no matter how much she asked, but that he had fallen asleep and woken up to the two men hornily making out against the door and tearing each other’s clothes off. That he had frozen in place until he could escape and that he was pretty sure nobody knew he was there, based on the eager moans he could still hear from the stairs while running out.
“I mean, if they had noticed me, surely they would have stopped, right? I can just pretend this never happened?”
Jackie was lost in her thoughts.
“Are you picturing it?!”
She laughed.
“Could you blame me? Those two are hot, but no, no, I was thinking about how you could be supportive of Shane without giving him a heart attack. I mean, I wouldn’t tell him that you saw him, he’d freak out, but maybe you can let him know that if he has anything to tell you, you are there for him?”
Hayden grimaced
“I am not there for him if he wants to get fucked by the captain of our rival team”
“And I guess that answers the years-old question of why won’t he introduce me to Lily, oh, I would not judge him, whatever she is like, I am his best friend, why won’t he trust me… doesn’t it?”
Hayden was still standing in front of the bed, fully clothed. Now looking like a scorned child. Jackie sat back down on the bed and patted the spot next to her, then hugged him once he was sitting next to her.
“I think your friend Shane is probably as confused and freaked out by what he is feeling as you are. So maybe stick to giving him time to talk to you when he is ready. And maybe stop saying Fuck Rozanov whenever he is on TV, that ought to have sounded way too real for Shane.”
“But… but… how are you not freaking out?”
Jackie grabbed her phone from the nightstand.
“Remember when you sent me that list you made? The one with all the types of partners that you had sent on disastrous dates with Shane?”
Hayden nodded.
“Well, I had added my own category.”
She showed him her phone, with a note that read, right below a bunch of categories he recognized, like “hot blondes” and “sporty type that likes bird food”, an extra entry “Men – hockey players in particular – maybe from Boston Team?”
His mouth was just hanging open, in shock and awe.
“Well, the clues have always been there, my dear. And now you owe me 100 dollars, thank you.”
Montreal – July 2017
“I should call Shane, I haven’t heard from him in a while”
Hayden had just put his fourth baby down to sleep and Jackie was trying to clean up after the twins, whose barbie dolls were all over the living room. One was hanging, somehow, from the ceiling lamp.
“Have you gotten a chance to talk to him since the whole Scott Hunter thing?”
Hayden shook his head
“Not really. With him being injured, the baby, and everything, I haven’t been around him much. Plus, I had kind of hoped this whole thing had been a dream when I found our he was dating Rose Landry, but I guess Lily is here to stay, because her name started popping up on his screen more often than ever once the Rose thing was confirmed to be a fluke.”
Jackie sighed, jumping a little to grab the foot of the barbie dangling from the ceiling.
“At this point it has been so long I don’t think this thing will disappear because you wish so. You should talk to him, you know, beat around the bush a little, start by telling him about the baby to break the ice, or whatever, then ease into the whole topic of how brave it was for Scott to have done what he has done, and so on…”
Hayden was looking at her like a scared baby who doesn’t want to go to the dentist or something.
“I’ll hold your hand. Come one, put him on speaker.”
He dutifully obeyed and dialed Shane’s number. He was probably at his cottage. With any luck, swimming in the lake and unable to answer, so this conversation did not need to happen.
“Hello”
No luck.
“Hey Shane, how are you doing, my man? Sorry, I haven’t check on you much since your injury, you know, with a newborn and everything…”
Jackie was making him encouraging gestures with her hands. Keep going.
“Hey, Hayden. How’s, um...how’s… the baby?”
Jackie rolled her eyes. He clearly did not remember her name.
“Amber”
“Amber. Right. Is she...good?”
“Amazing, yes, sleeps like an angel most of the day. Or maybe the previous three have damaged our hearing so much that we don’t hear her cry, but whatever…”
He started blabbing about babies and then about hockey staff, and five minutes went on with Shane only replying “Oh yeah?” and “That’s cool” and Jackie was clearly getting frustrated.
She muted the phone just as Shane was asking “how’s Jackie doing?”.
“Very bored. Please move on to the real topic here, will you?”
Then she unmuted the phone.
“Jackie is great, a real champion as always. Could not love her more” Hayden sheepishly said, staring at his wife. Did he really have to have this conversation?
“…So, I have been meaning to ask you, Shane… We didn’t watch the playoff finale together this year, man, but that was…”
“Uh, just one second, Hayden. My mom is calling. One sec.”
And just like that they were on hold. Hayden briefly hoped this meant he could stop trying to be a supportive friend and go back to denying reality.
“Weird” was all that Jackie said before Shane was back on the phone.
“Sorry about that, Hayden. My mom can be really annoying sometimes.”
“Oh, no worries, yeah, they must have loved having you home with them for longer than usual. Although obviously they weren’t happy about the concussion I suppose. How’s your head?”
Jackie pinched him hard on the arm, making him gasp. He was changing the topic and was being punished for it. He let Shane talk about his health for a little while, then tried to go back to business. Supportive friend. Ally. Got it.
“So, I was saying, about the playoff finale. Crazy game, right? Who would have bet on New York at the beginning of the season? Sometimes though people surprise you…”
Jackie was giving him a dirty look
“…in the best way possible. I mean. Like, I was watching the finale with Mark...”
“Sorry,” Shane said to Hayden, his pitch slightly higher than before “is Mark your sister’s husband?”
“No, he’s Jackie’s brother. He was here with us on the day of the finale and he’s lived in New York for a while, big Scott Hunter fan, and he was saying…”
“Hurnnhh…”
The sound that escaped Shane’s lips left Hayden looking very confused
“What?”
“Oh, yeah, no, you were saying? The finale. That – that’s cool. I - I watched it with my parents…”
He was stammering. His breath was uneven. Hayden worried for a second that he might have to call an ambulance to his cottage. He muted the call and looked at Jackie, who was grinning, and covering her mouth with a hand.
“Do you think he’s ok? Maybe his head is not that much better after the concussion…”
“Oh I don’t think it’s his head you should be worrying about, more like who’s giving it to him”
Hayden froze in place. PTSD hitting all at once. He could now hear the wet sounds coming from the other end of the line, the poorly hidden panting, the crack in Shane’s voice as he said “You still there?”
Hayden wanted to throw the phone through the window. Not again. Why did he have to bear witness to Rozanov’s oral sex skills twice in the span of a few months? What had he done in a previous life that was so bad he deserved this?
Jackie unmuted the phone for him, giggling and gesturing him to cut the conversation short. This was definitely not a good moment to start a serious conversation.
“Yes, sorry, maybe I lost the connection for a second, are you at the cottage? Yes, it can be pretty hard to get good signal there…”
The way Jackie mouthed pretty hard and laughed was just cruel at this point, but the conversation was short lived after that.
“Can you fucking believe the guy” was all Hayden had to say once the nightmare ended.
“I mean, if they are together at his lake house and can’t keep their hands off each other for the duration of a phone call, my dear, I think you may have to make peace with the idea that you’ll be invited to their wedding one day sooner or later.”
“No fucking way” was all Hayden had to say in reply. But deep down he was still thinking of how love-struck Rozanov had looked running his fingers through Shane’s hair that day in his apartment and how now he’s caught him looking at Shane with heart-eyes multiple times during games, whenever he thinks nobody is looking. He’s also noticed the pure look of panic in his eyes when Shane had taken that bad hit in the Boston vs Voyageurs game that had basically cost them the season.
“I truly don’t understand what he sees in him”
“Maybe you’ll have to ask him. But first, there is a Barbie glued to the floor. I think it’s super glue, you gotta help me out, we may need acid or something.”
November 2018 – Montreal
When Shane had come out to his teammates at the start of the season, Hayden had held his breath waiting for him to add he was dating Ilya Rozanov, but the news hadn’t come. Hayden had been nothing but a supportive ally, but Shane hadn’t told anyone about Ilya even when it had been announced that the Bears captain was choosing to play for Ottawa, which was like the shittiest team in the league, but also Shane’s hometown, which made it so terribly sweet, according to Jackie.
“I think at this point you just have to ask him,” Jackie sentenced.
“Ask him what?”
“If he’s dating Ilya”
“Are you actually out of your mind? I don’t want to tell him I saw them”
Jackie closed her hands into fists and shook them at the sky, angrily.
“You can be so dense sometimes,” she said “You don’t have to. Tell him that you noticed that he used to see someone in Boston and now he’s always in Ottawa. Tell him that you pieced together the evidence and you think Boston lily is Rozanov. Give him a chance to come clean. I bet he’s dying to tell someone.”
Hayden figured that was not a terrible plan.
So about a month after Shane had told him he was gay, Hayden stopped on his tracks as they were heading to their car and just said it.
“Hey, can I ask you something? You know how you used to meet up with that mysterious Lily every time we played in Boston? But now you don’t?”
Shane mumbled a couple of weak excuses, before Hayden paused and swallowed his fears. He was going to actually say it.
“I think Lily is Ilya Rozanov.”
Shane looked like he was about to faint. He open his mouth, desperately looking for words. For a second Hayden though he was going to have to force a confession out of him. Was he ready to tell him he’d seen them if it came to that? Never. He’d carry that secret to his grave. But then Shane blew out a breath and nodded.
Hayden wasn’t sure what his own face was saying at that moment. He was certainly thinking a lot of things. Finally, you can tell me everything, buddy, was one of them, but mostly he wanted to hug the shit out of his idiotic friend, grab a beer and somehow force him to explain how the fuck he had ended up paired up with the greatest asshole in the League because he still could not wrap his head around that.
“I think I need to meet him properly, then.” Was what he said, instead, what Jackie had told him the mature thing to say was. And Shane looked relieved, happy maybe.
Man, Jackie was good. Hayden really loved that woman.