Chapter Text
“Your Majesty, I'm gonna make some vanilla soft serve. Would you like some?”
Dairy Queen turns to Ronald McDonald, and gives him a stern look, “Thank you Ronald. I would like some. But I have to warn you, if you break my ice cream machine again, I might just have to break you.”
Ronald, knowing he can't make any promises, gives a nervous thumbs up.
“Wendy!” Dairy Queen grabs her car keys and heads for the door, “Honey, we have to leave now, Queen Star Bucks is waiting for us, and we can't pass up this offer.”
Burger King saunters in from his office, holding a cup of joe.
“Burg, where have you been?” Dairy Queen grabs his arm and pulls him close, “I missed you last night?”
Burg nudges his spouse away. “I was working late. I fell asleep at my desk.”
“Aw. Well, it's Friday. We should relax tonight. Watch a movie or something.”
Burg walks down the hall, “Uh sure, yeah, I'll see what I can do. You better leave or you'll be late.”
Dairy Queen grabs their purse, “Wendy! Where are you?”
*Beep Beep!
She looks outside. Wendy is already in the car. She rushes out the door.
“Get in, loser. We're making business propositions,” Wendy says playfully.
“Alright, alright. Scoot over.”
“But I wanna drive.”
“No one drives the Milk-Mobile, but me.”
“Fine.”
One long drive later, Wendy and Dairy Queen make it to the Brewer Blue.
“I should have worn better beach shoes.” Dairy Queen shakes the sand out of their heels.
“Hold up, why is she here?” She gestures to Princess Star Bucks.
“That's the Queen's daughter-”
“I know it's the Queen's daughter, but I thought we were talking to the Queen.”
“Why? Do you have something against the Princess?”
“Yes, but only ‘cause she seems to have something against me.” She takes off her heels and straightens her dress. “Fine, Ya know what, let's see if we can settle this and keep our dignity.”
“Hey &!+€#=$” Star calls out.
“This is gonna be harder than I thought,” Dairy Queen whispers.
“Hello Princess Star… I heard your mother wants our businesses to collaborate.”
Star nods her head, “Yes, but first; Girl how's it going? How is the City of Obi treating you?”
Dairy Queen grits their pearly whites, “Just peachy…”
“Oh, aaand,” Star bounces up and down slightly while she speaks, “How's Burg doing?”
“I think you mean ‘Burger King,’ and he's,” she ponders the right words, “kind of stressed from work.”
“Oh, I see,” Star pauses and gets a snide grin on her face, “Maybe he's just bored.”
Dairy Queen shrugs, “I mean, he attends plenty of gatherings but-”
“No, no,” Star interrupts, “Maybe he's just bored of you.” She throws a look that sends daggers into Dairy Queen's heart. “I'm just saying, for being the ‘Dairy Queen,’ you don't have much going on in the milkers department.”
Dairy Queen sends a look to Wendy, as if to say, ‘Go for it.’
“That's rich, coming from a girl who doesn't even have butt cheeks.”
Star gasps, offended, and looks down at her two fused tales.
“Yeah, well at least I'm young and moist-”
Wendy cringes at the word moist.
“Do you think Burger King is happy with a musty-crusty, fossil of a clam?”
Dairy Queen chuckles, “Did you just hear that?”
“Yes,” Wendy smirks.
“She just said, ‘clam.’”
“As if.”
“Ya know, Star,” Dairy Queen stands up a little taller and straightens his dress, “you should really study your target more before throwing around such absurd insults.” He turns around and taps Wendy on the shoulder. “I think we're done here. Let's go.” The two start walking away.
“Wait,” Star calls out, “We really need this collaboration!”
“Have fun telling your mother why it didn't work out!”
The two get in the Milk-Mobile and buckle their seat belts. Dairy Queen looks down at the strap that is loosely sliding around her size A minus chest.
“$#!%, she's right… Wendy.”
“Yes ma'am.”
“Turn on the feel good playlist.”
“Sure thing, DQ.”
Ava Max plays as the two drive back to the White Castle.