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It was one of the many evenings the two old men spent together on the road. They did not talk too much anymore, since there were not many topics they had not already talked about over and over again.
But tonight, Logan had thought of something. As he was lying in the car, spread out on the front seat, watching the stars through the front window, Logan asked:
“Do you miss him?”
Charles needed a moment to understand what Logan was talking about, and who. Then, when he got it, he felt a bit of shame. Who else could it be the other man wanted to know about? It was so clear.
“Yes.” Charles replied, a dark, melancholic tone in his voice. “Of course. Every day.”
“He died before I came back, right?” Logan muttered. “That's at least... Twenty years ago.” It scared him how long it took to remember how many years had passed since his time travel adventure. He wasn't even sure about the number. Actually, he was pretty sure it was not correct. They had both become old, and Logan's memory had never been the best.
“No... It is more than that. Thirty-two years, if I remember correctly. And six years after he died, you came back.” Charles explained. “And the last thing you remembered was him throwing you into a river.” He chuckled, mentally going back more than seventy years, but seeing the scene again with no problem. “Quite his style.”
Logan sat up, straightened his back. “You never talked about him. Not once. I only learned that he was dead because Jean told me. Just like she told me the details about the Apocalypse and all that bullshit. Which involved him.” Thinking of her still hurt a bit. Only fair, since this conversation probably hurt the other man a lot more.
Charles looked straight up at the car's roof. “I guess I never had the courage to bring him up. To think about him more than I did – and still do – anyway. You know that he meant a lot to me. But I felt like nobody ever understood how much. I am over a hundred years old now, Logan, and he helped me through half of that time, more than anyone else.” That melancholic tone was still there, maybe even more prominent now.
Logan remained silent for a while. That might just have been true. Storm, Jean, Scott, all the others, they had never really been able to see why the Professor cared so much about that one man who brought them so much trouble, why he always continued to believe in him, whatever bad thing he had done. And Logan had not been able to understand that either. But maybe he could change that.
“Then tell me about him now.” he suggested. “I mean I knew the guy, but that were two other versions of him. One where he was a lot younger and one from a different timeline.”
Charles was surprised by that request. “You really want to know more about that man?” Carefully, he checked Logan's thoughts, just to find what he suspected; Logan didn't really want to learn, he wanted Charles to have an opportunity to be listened to. And maybe to be understood.
He was grateful for that, and so he started listing all the memories of that one, very special man he had. The story of how he helped to rebuild the mansion after it was destroyed, not just once but three times over the years. How he always came and went, visited at least twice a year, sometimes stayed there for months, which were the months Charles remembered as the happiest. Lots of stories about how he helped out with some classes during those months, taught the children to not be afraid to show their gifts and use them properly.
And, holding back some tears, Charles told the story of how that man died, trying to save his daughter's life. Failing eventually.
When Charles stopped talking for a moment, not nearly out of stories to tell but just tired, Logan started babbling about how things had been in the other timeline.
At some point, he knew he had to ask the question that had caused him to start the entire conversation in the first place.
“You know, Charles, there was one thing Storm from the other timeline always suspected. No matter which version, she was observant.” he began.
“And what was that?” Charles asked, even though he knew pretty well.
“That you and him were not just friends. Or best friends. Or enemies. Or whatever the students called it.”
Charles sighed deeply. “Well, she was right. Yes, we were more. Or at least he was more to me. I think now that it's only you and me left, I might just admit that I loved that man.” And softly, Charles said his name out loud for the first time in what seemed like a lifetime. “Erik Lehnsherr...” he muttered, smiling, but still looking sad. “But now, enough with the bedtime stories. Look at the time, Logan.”
Logan smiled as well. “Yeah, I guess we should go to sleep.”
“Wait, one thing...” Charles interrupted. “You know, I was on a road trip with Erik once. And it was quite similar to this one. Just the two of us, searching for a mutant. And we found you, if you remember. In a small bar on the roadside in the middle of nowhere.”
“And I told you to go fuck yourselves.” Logan added. “Yes, I remember.”
“Let's hope that the mutant we search for will react more nicely.”
They both laughed. In that desperate, lonely, depressing world, they laughed again. And in his mind, Charles thanked Erik for it.