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Yoshiki was seated on the end of his bed, foot tapping absently on the ground, mouth too dry. He stared at the chest of the boy standing in front of him. ‘Hikaru’s shirt was unbuttoned, the white cotton pushed aside to reveal his chest. His mostly smooth skin was marred by a black slash down the middle.
‘Hikaru’ stared at him with his usual expression of aloof confidence and kind charm, but there was a bit of apprehension in his brow- something only Yoshiki would notice.
“Well?” ‘Hikaru’ prompted, fingers fidgeting with a button on his shirt.
Yoshiki shook his head. “Gimmie a sec,” he said, blinking as he gathered his courage.
He’d done this before, in the storage room. That was the first time he’d even learned this was something ‘Hikaru’ could do. That had been about a week ago, and Yoshiki had spent the time between then and now trying not to think about it. He hadn’t been very successful, the memory finding him as he stared into the darkness late at night, dreams of it clinging to him in the mornings.
His eyes flickered up to ‘Hikaru’s face, who gave him a wry smile. “C’mon, perv,” he joked, knocking the inside of Yoshiki’s knee with his knuckles. “Quit lookin’, just do it.”
The back of Yoshiki’s neck burned, but he rolled his eyes and steeled his shoulders. He reached forward and pushed two fingers into the abyss.
‘Hikaru’s shoulders seemed to tense slightly, and Yoshiki gave him another glance. ‘Hikaru’ nodded. Yoshiki pushed the rest of his hand in.
‘Hikaru’ felt the same as Yoshiki remembered, though less jarring now that he knew what to expect- cold, kind of slimy, writhing and giving and pushing against his hand. It wasn’t necessarily unpleasant, but it was still odd. Yoshiki tried not to think about raw chicken.
Yoshiki looked back up at ‘Hikaru’s face. ‘Hikaru’s gaze was locked on his own body, on the place where Yoshiki’s wrist disappeared into his chest. The tension Yoshiki had seen in his brow was gone, melting into a serene sort of anticipation.
“Okay?” Yoshiki asked, and ‘Hikaru’ nodded, swallowing and licking his lips.
“More.”
Yoshiki’s stomach stirred. He obliged, though, eyes trained on ‘Hikaru’s face as he pushed his hand in further, stopping just a few inches past his wrist. ‘Hikaru’s breath shuddered. Color bloomed in his cheeks.
Yoshiki hesitated a moment, then pushed his arm up. His eyes tracked his own movement now, following the widening of the gash, until he stopped at ‘Hikaru’s throat, just below his chin.
‘Hikaru’ was staring back at him now, mouth open just slightly, breath coming a little heavier. “Yoshiki,” he started, trailing off as if he didn’t know what he wanted to say either.
Yoshiki flexed his hand inside ‘Hikaru’, reaching, touching, like he had when they were in the storage room- when ‘Hikaru’ told him it felt good.
‘Hikaru’ shuddered, eyes fluttering shut. Yoshiki flexed again, mesmerized, and ‘Hikaru’ fell forward with a whine. Yoshiki yelped, falling backward and pushing up with his free hand to keep his friend from collapsing into him entirely.
“Sorry,” ‘Hikaru’ breathed, holding himself up by pushing his hands against the bed, planted on either side of where Yoshiki lay. His eyes were lidded, seemingly fighting to stay open, as he found Yoshiki’s gaze. “F-feels good.”
Yoshiki nodded slightly, letting his supporting hand drop from ‘Hikaru’s shoulder. “It’s kind of- I mean, it’s harder to keep my hand up from here,” he explained, glancing at his arm and flexing his hand again on instinct. Above him, ‘Hikaru’ let out a sharp breath, and Yoshiki’s eyes shot back to his face. “Sorry! Sorry.”
‘Hikaru’ shook his head forcefully. It almost seemed more like it was aimed towards himself rather than Yoshiki. He glanced away before he spoke. “I could- I know last time was, um, bad, but… I could touch- I could hold your arm? From inside? But I’ll be careful, I won’t drag you in.”
Yoshiki stayed silent until ‘Hikaru’ turned his eyes back to him. “You won’t?” he asked, and ‘Hikaru’ nodded. “Okay.”
Yoshiki felt it immediately. The cold, seeping up his skin, past where his arm disappeared. He saw it, too, when he looked down, the darkness and… something. He didn’t have the words. It- ‘Hikaru’- wrapped around his arm in thin tendrils, stopping just above his elbow.
He remembered it felt good, but he’d forgotten exactly what the feeling was like. It was different than being patted on the head, or… anything else, but it was undeniably good. His breath was getting heavier. He kind of wanted to close his eyes.
“Better?”
Yoshiki dragged his eyes back up to ‘Hikaru’s. It was better, the normal strain one feels from continuously raising their arm completely gone. He nodded. “Better. Good.” Then, he stretched his arm again, deeper, and spread his fingers wide.
The noise ‘Hikaru’ made was sudden, seemingly even to him. He looked like it’d been punched out of him, eyes squeezed shut. He shifted forward, and Yoshiki grew increasingly aware of the hard point of contact between the two’s uniform pants.
“Yoshiki,” ‘Hikaru’ breathed, and Yoshiki squeezed the hand inside him closed. Opened it again. Closed it. ‘Hikaru’ was loud, his moans drawn out and his whimpers sharp and needy. Combined with the good from the darkness writhing against his arm, it made Yoshiki’s head spin.
He eventually registered ‘Hikaru’ moving and looked down to see him shoving their hips together. Suddenly, Yoshiki wasn’t getting enough. His free hand reached down, thumb wedging between ‘Hikaru’s hipbone and the waistband of his pants. “Take- can you take them off?” He asked before he could let himself second guess it. ‘Hikaru’ obliged as quickly as he could.
Once his own pants and underwear were shoved down as far as he could get them in his position (‘Hikaru’ almost whined at the thought of having to remove himself from Yoshiki at that moment), ‘Hikaru’ didn’t give Yoshiki any time to look before he was tugging the other’s pants down, too.
Yoshiki wondered, for a brief moment, if he’d have to explain what to do, if they’d have to discuss logistics while his hand was still touching and touching and touching inside ‘Hikaru’, but he was quickly proven wrong. ‘Hikaru’ took Yoshiki in his hand, and Yoshiki stopped thinking.
He hardened fully in ‘Hikaru’s hand, his own free hand twisted in ‘Hikaru’s button up shirt, which was falling off his shoulder now, ignored. ‘Hikaru’ didn’t quiet, still panting and whimpering as he touched Yoshiki, as they both moved and pushed and pulled. Yoshiki panted, “You too,” barely able to form the words. “Your- in your hand.”
‘Hikaru’ understood. He took them both in one hand, and the two cried out. Yoshiki didn’t stop reaching and grabbing, and ‘Hikaru’ pushed their foreheads together. Yoshiki could feel him trembling, and for a fleeting moment, he marveled that ‘Hikaru’ hadn’t lost control and dragged him in again.
“Yoshiki,” ‘Hikaru’ was saying, breath fanning across Yoshiki’s lips. “Yoshiki, Yoshiki.” Yoshiki pressed upward, and ‘Hikaru’s mouth fell open against his, greedily moving against him, taking and taking. Yoshiki let him.
Yoshiki kept taking, too, hand still flexing with a purpose, his blood rushing louder and hotter with every sound ‘Hikaru’ now made into his mouth. Every time they pulled away, just enough to gasp for air, ‘Hikaru’ was still calling his name- Yoshiki, Yoshiki, Yoshiki. Hikaru, he’d answer, before pulling him back in, searching feverishly for his lips, hips bucking. He was desperate for all of it: the slide of himself against ‘Hikaru’, held firmly in ‘Hikaru’s moving hand; ‘Hikaru’s hot breath on his lips, his tongue in his mouth, his loud and needy noises; the good still seeping into his bones from his hand, from ‘Hiakru’s chest, almost a shocking warmth in comparison to the physical cold.
“Hikaru,” he asked, unsure what he wanted, but ‘Hikaru’ answered him, quickening the pace of the hand he held them both in. Yoshiki unraveled quickly, crying out and pulling his head back as he came. ‘Hikaru’ took the loss of his lips in stride, mouth latching onto Yoshiki’s neck, and Yoshiki reached again, grabbing blindly until he felt ‘Hikaru’ shudder above him, yelping as he came undone.
The quiet crept in slowly, filling Yoshiki’s head like cotton. Their chests heaved, their panting the only sound, occasionally punctuated with soft, quiet whimpers from ‘Hikaru’. Yoshiki winced as he removed his hand, the all encompassing good somehow overstimulating in the aftershocks. ‘Hikaru’, whose nose was pressed into Yoshiki’s neck, breath fanning against his skin, pulled back at the noise. “Okay?” He asked, eyes not quite focused.
Yoshiki nodded and watched for a moment as the abyss bisecting ‘Hikaru’s chest began to close, like a zipper being pulled from his chin. Yoshiki decided he didn’t like watching it. He was saved from looking when Hikaru collapsed into him fully.
The sensation of their skin and their sweat and their mess made Yoshiki’s nose wrinkle. “We’re all gross,” Yoshiki protested, though his hand found its way onto ‘Hikaru’s back. “We have to clean up.”
“Gimmie a second?” ‘Hikaru’ asked, voiced muffled as he spoke directly into Yoshiki’s skin. The feeling made Yoshiki’s stomach flip, despite his exhaustion. He decided to give them a second.