Work Text:
The pile of documents was growing more and more when Aventurine felt his stomach growl, so he looked at the clock on the wall in front of him and discovered that it was too late for lunch time: he didn’t look at the time for all day because he was too busy with all the paperwork from his previous jobs.
I hate this job, reports here, affairs there, paper everywhere!
He sighed: even though his schedule wasn’t one of the most regular, he sometimes tried to keep it that way, so a full meal wasn’t in place until the evening, when he would’ve come back home.
Luckily for him, a bowl full of apples was on the little table under the clock, between the two armchairs that he used to greet the few people he welcomed into his office when they came to inform him about a particular topic or to remind him that also Aventurine of the Strategy Department deserved a break from time to time.
So, Aventurine got up and took one of those apples: it was sweet, juicy and crunchy, but not too much, and especially that sweetness wasn’t exaggerated because it had a bit of sourness he could feel at the first bite, just on the tip of his tongue. After a couple of bites, Aventurine sat on one of the armchairs and took some time to look at that apple: the pulp was white like all apples, but this kind had a particularity: the outer part was red with green and yellowish stripes, detail deriving from the way it was cultivated: in fact, this kind of apple was harvested when it was still unripe and then matured in a separate place. At first sight, it appeared not so pretty if compared to other apples because it was tiny and didn’t have a strong shade of red, but its flavour was unique. The man who sold him those apples told him that they were from a little planet, now property of the IPC, who was famous for this variety, and maybe that was the reason Aventurine liked these apples so much, they were a bit like him.
At the same time, though, they reminded Aventurine of another person, a bit sour in his ways, but surely good on the inside. However, he had tried to not think about that person too much…
The way Aventurine got to know about the existence of those fruits was a coincidence or, in his words, a “very lucky event”: he was coming back to his office from a transaction started by Topaz and him together which had been pretty successful, but, while strolling through the alleys of that city, he got lost and ended up at the local market; there he spent some time watching the goods displayed on the stalls until he reached for a stall full of fruits and vegetables. The man who was selling those things, he noted, had a way with words, thing that made him an excellent seller, and, noticing the blond was looking at those apples, he promptly presented them as Annurche Apples, a name that, in their origin place, reminded people of their looks, not so good just like the looks of the ogres. Aventurine, to be honest, never had heard about any of those things, so the merchant took the occasion to explain everything into the tiniest details, pleasing the strategist and persuading him to buy those apples. A detail in particular convinced him to buy more than a kilo of those apples: an apple a day keeps the doctor away. That was a proverb that came from the same planet as his items, as the merchant said, but Aventurine knew better and was sure that, while it could be the truth, the reality was that more than one planet had that way of saying. Not that it would matter too much anyway, because, when the strategist heard the word “Doctor” his mind immediately rushed to show him the sight of violet hair that framed the straight lines of a pale face often contracted in a serious expression; a face he would have liked to not see for most time possible.
The apple bitten by Aventurine had the exact same colours as Doctor Ratio’s eyes, and the blond had no idea how to describe what he was feeling: was he happy because he could keep those eyes in his life even from a distance or was he angry because also an innocent, yet savoury apple could remind him of that scientist ambitious as much as himself? He knew one thing for sure: whatever that feeling was, he was sure that it made him feel very frustrated, and that wasn't good at all. How curious was that situation: he didn't want Ratio around his line of sight for any reason, but at the same time he longed to see those red eyes and to hear his voice another time.
More than once, Aventurine’s sister, while she was still alive, told him that he had been blessed by their goddess and, more than once, after he had become a slave, he had wondered if she was really right, if his luck was really a blessing and not a curse. Some time ago, Topaz told him that maybe that luck was a blessing in disguise and, talking with Jade, she only said that it was a great opportunity and he had to make the most of it. The most surprising answer came from Ratio who simply said: “Whatever it is, don't rely only on that”. Ratio knew very well about prodigies, but never gave them the satisfaction they wanted, and in that aspect Aventurine was no exception.
If the strategist had to be honest, the doctor was right about him, because he would sure exploit the little accomplishment that was being recognised by the doctor to do the most dangerous thing, even at the risk of his own life; Aventurine couldn't forget in any way the letter Acheron helped him find, which was the simplest yet most effective way he could convince himself that someone cared about him and about his life. Ratio had asked him the easiest and, at the same time, the hardest thing to do, showing his care in the unconventional way typical of the scientist.
The pause Aventurine took was almost over, but, inadvertently, someone knocked on the door: he went and opened it just to find a pair of red eyes staring at him with not too veiled irritation.
“Hey Ratio! What're you doing here? I didn't know about a mission together or about you visiting”. Aventurine greeted him with a smile, trying to keep the entrance occupied while maintaining a certain distance between him and the doctor, who, however, wasn't fazed at all: “The reason why I am here is exactly what you said: I had to work with other IPC members who were not competent as you taking double the time while we could do the same thing in half and every time I tried to visit you, your secretary or Topaz told me you were not here. To put the cherry on top, they said to me the same thing even today, yet here you are.” At this point, Ratio walked through the door and Aventurine had to back down. “So I am going to ask you a simple question: why are you avoiding me?”
Aventurine put on his most surprised expression, but wasn't too sure if he was capable of convincing the other man, because Ratio's piercing gaze always seemed to be able to see beyond his mask: “Avoiding you? No way! Probably, the other times you had something to do with us I was already occupied with another task, you know how the IPC makes even its most important members work to the bone, so it was a coincidence”.
“It can be a coincidence once, twice and being generous even three times, but not ten times, and your answer does not explain what happened today”.
Have you really searched for me so many times? What is wrong with you? Aventurine was almost speechless, he really couldn't even imagine Ratio appearing ten times, searching for him and asking why he couldn't meet him. Maybe, thinking about how he begged Topaz to prevent Ratio to find him, he went too far, but Aventurine was anyway the kind of person who gave it all for everything, otherwise he wouldn't have done it in the first place.
“Well,” Aventurine kept his composure, “Topaz knows a lot about me, but not everything. Probably she genuinely thought that I wasn't here, that's all”.
Ratio grumbled: “Gambler, if you think I will believe your excuses you are offending my intelligence”.
Aventurine replied with a laugh: “I could never, my dear doctor. You're overthinking it and I hope you stop as soon as you can because it makes you look more serious than usual and, worst of all, it will give your beautiful face more wrinkles than necessary”.
He never praises me so much, what's happening exactly with him? Thought the doctor, trying to not show how much those compliments really affected him because in some ways they pleased him, but in others they only made him angrier: it seemed that Aventurine was treating him as an ordinary client, but Ratio wasn't a client neither a transient in the strategist’s life, at least he hoped so.
Ratio looked at Aventurine for a few seconds without saying a word, hoping that the latter would notice his mistake, but then he noticed the bowl of apples behind the blonde and, next to it, the core of one of them.
In an instant everything made sense, and considering the foolishness the gambler was capable of sometimes made his conclusions seem pretty coherent; without saying a word Ratio walked past Aventurine and sat on one of the armchairs and relaxed.
Ratio didn't seem angry anymore, he was really relaxed, as Aventurine noticed, and the blonde had to admit that was the scariest version of the doctor: seeing his grumpy expression was no trouble at all, but that easiness was frightening.
Somebody, please, save me or kill me now, I beg you!
Aventurine dared to look straight at Ratio's face and, when he confronted the other’s red eyes, he almost felt them saying: “Drop the act. I got you”.
Aventurine sighed, not knowing whether to talk or stay silent, but Ratio spared him: “An apple at day keeps the doctor away, right? I have the confirmation that you were avoiding me in all the ways you knew about, but, unluckily, I am as stubborn as you. I am not even angry after seeing you, but, honestly, I have to admit that I am sorry to be avoided, especially because I do not know the reason behind your decision”.
Saying that the blonde felt guilty meant underestimating the situation: Aventurine wanted just to sink as deep as possible, because Ratio had no fault and was still feeling sorry.
I'm the one who should be sorry, not you! Damn, how can you be so cute even when you're saying a thing you really shouldn't because I'm the one avoiding you? Ratio, I'M THE ONE WHO TRIED TO AVOID YOU ALL THIS TIME AND FAILED!
Aventurine was trying his best to not give away his emotions, but he felt his mask slipping away from his face while Ratio watched in silence. Tired from all that acting, Aventurine sat in front of the doctor; he tried to find the words to explain the situation in a convincing way but, as soon as he felt his idea was quite decent, Ratio interjected him: “Gambler, why do not we make a bet?”
As a reflex, the blonde raised his head abruptly to look at him: “What do you mean?”
“You believe an apple a day can keep me away, right? So let's test this theory: if I eat one of these apples and nothing happens to me, you will tell everything I want to know about this situation but, if I have any negative reaction, you won't need to explain anything”. Then he took an apple from the bowl and looked at it, “They don't need more cleaning, do they?” Aventurine nodded, though his mind was rumbling while trying to distract him with the thought that the fruit was just a bit darker than the doctor’s irises, then the latter spoke again: “I want to raise the stake: if you win the bet, I will never speak about this topic again and, unless you ask me to, I won't bother you again with my presence. Obviously, if we meet because of the IPC, I'll do my best to keep my promise”.
At that point Aventurine prayed with all his might Mother Gaiathra, Qlipoth and whatever was able to listen to him that Ratio wasn't serious about his bet.
Damn you doctor, how can you do this kind of bet knowing how lucky I am and how difficult it is to refuse?
Ratio was holding the apple in his hand, but to Aventurine it looked more like he was holding his heart instead, and, even for just an instant, the gambler saw the shadow of a grin on the doctor's lips. How detestable are you when you're yourself…
Accept the bet or not, that is the question, asked Aventurine in his thoughts, if I refuse he will surely want an explanation, but if I accept I can win and I won't have to talk, but he will feel sick and won't be near my side again. Yes, I can tell him that he can bother me anytime, but how could I look at him after all of this without making myself a fool? At the same time, if he wins, I'll have to speak and it'll be my end…
“Shit”. Murmured Aventurine and Ratio raised his eyebrows: “Did you say something?”
The gambler sighed: “No… I mean, not about saying something; about the bet, I don't understand why you raised the stakes so high, but, if you feel so confident, I accept”.
The smirk on the doctor was no more a shadow, it was perfectly visible, and Aventurine couldn't understand if he loved or hated it more.
Without a word, Ratio bit the apple, and Aventurine’s prayers increased: Please, don't hurt him, please, don't make him feel sick, please, don't keep him away from me.
The strategist couldn't keep his eyes away from the doctor, who was happily eating the apple. It didn't take a lot before he finished it, and the man with violet hair seemed pleased rather than unwell. The blond, on the other hand, didn't know if he was happy, angry or surprised by the failure of his luck. To be honest, he wasn't ready to be sincere with the doctor who showed that apples hadn't any effect on him, but now he had to. He tried to think that maybe that was a twisted way of his luck, but it didn't matter much.
“How could you do it?” Asked Aventurine in the end, and Ratio answered without hesitation: “Because your luck can't beat science, no matter how big it is, and because I eat apples and everything edible since I was a child and I never had reactions, so I can say for sure that I'm immune and that I won this bet. Now, where can I throw away these cores?”
“Are you really asking me this now?”
Ratio nodded, but Aventurine huffed and threw them in the bin under his desk without adding a word.
Ratio waited for Aventurine to speak, sat on the armchair and without his smirk, but with a more relaxed expression.
“You were right: I avoided you or, at least, I tried, and the apples were my last resort. In truth, a part of me hoped that they were effective, but here we are”.
Ratio respected his pauses and only nodded, in his eyes Aventurine could see his hunger for answers, but luckily, Ratio could be very collected when he had to.
“Maybe you'll think that I'm a fool, but the truth is that I was afraid of you”, Ratio almost tried to ask why, but the confusion on his face spoke for him, making Aventurine snort and, in an unexpected way, also relax a bit, “You have the strange ability to see through my schemes even when I don't want you to. I had a hunch the few times we worked together, but after the mission on Penacony I definitely understood the weight that this had on me and on our mission”. For all that time since when he threw the apples in the bin, Aventurine stayed on his feet, but being sincere took a strange amount of energy from him, so he sat back on the chair in front of the doctor.
“I still have the note you made Acheron give to me”. Ratio widened his eyes because he didn't expect that, and the gambler continued: “You make me want to be honest with you, with no filters, no façade and no schemes, but I can't do so. I can't afford it”.
“Sorry if I interrupt you, but I want to understand: you can't or you don't want to be your true self with me?”
“I can't, not with this job, not with this life, not with what I am”.
“But do you not want it?”
“Of course I want to be real with you! But this is what I am, how can I be liked, or more, loved as I am? I'm a schemer, a liar, I say things I don't mean most of the time and gamble with everything and everyone I have in my pockets, no more!”
“Do you really mean what you have just said?”
“Yes”.
“That's strange,” Ratio rested his chin over his hand, in a reflection pose, “because I see someone who takes by heart the words of other people, even when they weigh as little as grains of sand. I see a kind soul, someone who would go immeasurable lengths to help the people he cares about and who still keeps a note given before he risked complete annihilation”. Aventurine didn't reply, he only felt as if everything the doctor had just said to him was simply his point of view of the story; a vision in which, for him, even the doctor didn't believe completely.
But then, Ratio did another strange thing: he sat up, stood in front of Aventurine and, finally, he got on his knees, resting his arms and head on those of the blond: “What are you doing?”
“Seeing you closer. Does it bother you too much?”
“N-no, but why?”
“Because I'd like to make things easier for you: you said that you want to be real with me and I appreciate that, but I also understand that it may be hard for you, so I thought that putting myself in this position could make things easier for you”.
Aventurine smiled, his cheeks red almost as the apples they ate: “I don't think it's gonna work so well. You know who I am and you're able to imagine what I can do, so why are you so indulgent with me?”
“Because I try to understand your reasons: I don't justify your actions, especially the past ones, but I also know that you did everything you did in order to survive, and no one can blame you for that. Would you have ever given those apples a chance if you only saw their appearance?”
“Well, no, but I heard their story”. The gambler was more confused than ever, what the hell is happening here? Maybe this position is hurting Ratio more than I imagined…
“That's what happened to me”, replied the violet, “but, since you're here, I want to hear it from you. Whatever I do towards you has only one explanation: I care about you. That's the reason I insisted so much to see you, to talk with you about what was happening and that's the same reason why I raised the stake of our bet so high: because I'm ready to put your happiness before mine”.
Aventurine didn't know how to reply: Ratio was still there, looking at him right in the eye while his arms and chin rested on his knees, so vulnerable despite his strength, so tiny despite being huge most of the time. Normally, if he wanted to, Ratio could force him to say and do whatever he wanted, but no, the same man who terrified his students, was now on his knees, begging a mere ex-slave to let him stay by his side. “Please, Aventurine, I'd really love to understand you”.
Aventurine felt warmth inside his chest seeing Ratio begging him that way, and his eyes stung. He closed them before answering because, at least for that moment, he wouldn't have cried: “First things first: my real name is Kakavasha, but don't say to other people, please”.
Ratio nodded: “Does someone else know it besides me?”
“No, and I want to keep it that way”.
“Thank you, Kakavasha”.
Now Aventurine's eyes started to burn because of the tears creeping out: he didn't remember a lot about his native planet, about his people and his relatives, but he was sure that the sweetness in Ratio's voice was incomparable. The doctor spoke his name marking every syllable, unsure and careful; he had realised almost instantly that the gambler gave him his most precious treasure, and it deserved the utmost respect. It seemed impossible to Aventurine, but Ratio was treating every part of him with that respect: even in that moment he could feel exactly how the doctor was restraining himself to put all his weight on his thighs; he could do it, but he chose not.
Then Kakavasha started to talk about his story, adding just some details that he remembered and kept to himself. For the most part he talked about his sister, about how much they loved each other and how painful it had been to lose her.
“The hardest thing, however, isn't losing her, but the fact that I'm starting to forget her voice and, if I didn't know how much I look like her, I would start to panic because I don't remember every detail of her face. It's like losing her a second time and I can't stand it. I can't lose who I love anymore”.
“So, if I assume that you tried to avoid me because you love me, I wouldn’t be completely wrong, would I?”
For a moment, Aventurine didn’t fully understand the meaning of what Ratio had said, still overwhelmed by reliving the most important, yet traumatic moments of his life out loud, but the moment he realized it he couldn’t help but gasp for air, almost as those words took his breath away, and he tried to give a convincing answer: “Well, I never said I don’t like you, so…”
Ratio giggled, always the same foolish gambler, “At this point it’s no use denying it anymore: I love you, Kakavasha, and I want to be part of your life, so please, don’t try to push me away again“.
“But-”
“Hey,” Ratio straightened his back and he took Aventurine's face with one hand, taking the opportunity to bring it closer to himself, “you read my files, so you know that I can defend myself, and I can do even more”.
The gambler sighed: “As always, you’re right, even about my feelings for you”.
After that, a few seconds passed in complete silence, as if both of them were processing the news that they were in love with each other because, for Ratio and Aventurine, it wasn’t just the fact that they were able to love someone, but it was the fact that the person they cared about so much loved them back.
The doctor caressed the blond’s cheek, smiling, then whispered: “Can I kiss you?”
Kakavasha smiled and grabbed Ratio’s face with both his hands: “Of course, Veritas”.
Perhaps precisely because he had heard Aventurine's voice say his name, he didn't hesitate a second longer and closed the little gap between them: it was a slow and delicate kiss, maybe not the passionate kind that they could have desired in other moments, but just enough for that place and that time.
When they decided it was time to separate their lips they were just a few inches far from each other, Ratio kept looking at the gambler’s lips while the other was lost in the doctor’s eyes which reminded him of the setting sun. If I have to almost step inside that black hole to see these eyes so clearly, I’ll gladly do it again and again… But maybe it’s better if I keep this to myself.
“Ratio, your breath smells like apples” declared Aventurine and the other laughed: “Not bad, five points”.
“Only five?”
“Well, it’s not that yours smells like something else, so you’ll have to try harder”.
Aventurine pouted: “You’ve just kissed me and already decided that I have to be treated worse than your students!”
Ratio summoned all his inner strength to not kiss that pout: “The good side about you not being my student is the fact that I can spoil you as much as I want, and I have all the intention to do so”.
“You don’t need to”.
“I want to, Kakavasha, so let me take care of you as you deserve”.
While Aventurine thought about how Ratio was surely enjoying making his knees weak by calling him by his real name (and luckily for the blond, he was still sitting), the doctor got up and announced he needed to leave. The strategist got up to walk him to the door and say goodbye, and Ratio said: “Is it okay if I pass at 20:30 to take you somewhere?”
Aventurine couldn’t hide his surprise, but replied in his own way: “Aren’t you going a little too fast?”
Ratio denied by shaking his head: ”I’d say I went far too calmly, and to be honest, I’ve wanted to take you to this place for quite a long time”.
Kakavasha smiled: “Then it’s a deal: 20:30, I’ll be waiting for you”.
Veritas kissed his lips: “And no apple will stop me”.