Work Text:
Chopper had been trying to integrate an energy restorative into the Rumble Ball formula for three hours already when the News Coo arrived.
“Oooh, the newspaper!” came Nami’s voice from outside the infirmary. “Oh, Chopper! There’s a letter for you!”
A letter for him?! Who would- who would be writing him? Alright, he could take a quick break to read the letter and maybe eat something. Maybe candy, that sounded good. He set his tools hurriedly down on the workbench and rushed outside to take a look.
“Who is it, Nami? Who is it?”
“Here,” said Nami, “It’s for the name you write to those medical journals in. Hope it’s good news, hehe!” She handed him the letter.
Quickly Chopper ripped open the letter. Could his article have actually been accepted? Or did they want him to submit even more evidence? He thought he’d covered all the parameters pretty extensively in his experiment, so he didn’t see what more he could -
Oh.
Ohhhh.
Ohhhh!
To the Esteemed Dr Anthony Hiriluk, read the letter. The Grand Line Medical Journal sends our warmest regards and congratulates you on the acceptance of your article “The Antibacterial Effects of Compounds Within the Lesser Heartflower” into the next issue of the journal. In addition, due to the outstanding nature of your work, we would like to invite you to speak on your research in person at our next quarterly conference, which is taking place on Washi Island on the usual date. Please reply to this letter and indicate if you will be attending so we can schedule your presentation and provide a log pose. We look forward to your response.
Oh, they wanted him -
They wanted him to attend the conference???? In person??? That didn’t make him happy at all, those bastards!
Wait, but.
“How can I go to a conference when I’m a reindeer??? Aaaaaaa!!! Nami!”
-
Dr Baumläufer looked up warily at the group approaching the entrance desk for the Grand Line Medical quarterly conference. Now, she’d seen a lot in her time, and the attendees for the conference tended to be pretty diverse. This was the Grand Line, and doctors both knowledgable enough to practise and bold enough to make it to the conference in person automatically tended to be somewhat… more eccentric than average. If a conference keynote speaker was completely normal, that would have been far more remarkable.
But her instincts told her there was definitely something going on here. There was that sort of familiar tension in the air.
She assessed them as they walked up.
On the left was an extremely muscular and hairy… man(?) with a large, black moustache, wearing a blue and pink hat, swirly sunglasses that made her a little dizzy to look at, and a gigantic lab coat that must surely have been tailored to fit over his enormous biceps. His hands alone were bigger than Dr Baumläufer’s head. He also had a blue nose.
In the middle was a comparably remarkably normal-looking long-nosed guy in a floppy white hat, except that he had an exaggeratedly large beard and moustache, and was practically quivering out of his skin. Despite being decidedly already at a conference, he was mumbling frantically under his breath about how he’d caught the “Can’t-Go-To-Conferences-Disease”. He was carrying a bag that she probably ought to search, but she felt too bad for him to do it.
Finally, on the right rounding off the trio was a goofy-looking short guy in sunglasses, with another big bushy white beard and his shirt was hanging open to reveal a scarred chest – looked like a healed burn wound, but it must have been a nasty one. He was giddily looking at everything in the room as if his head was on a swivel. On top of his hat… he wore a second hat. Because that was something people did, apparently. His presence, though, that held an easy confidence that was absent from the other two, as if he knew he could go anywhere in the world that he wanted. But he was far too bug-eyed at the surrounding scenery to have seen any kind of conference before in his life. He didn’t look like a doctor at all. And it was him that her wary instincts were telling her to pay attention to, even though he looked the goofiest of all. Curious.
Well, it wasn’t Dr Baumläufer’s job to question the attendees’ appearances or any strange feelings she had about them, only their paperwork. She wasn’t being paid enough to investigate anyone further. In fact, she wasn’t being paid at all. This was a volunteer post. So she ignored the shiver that ran down her spine when she looked at those eyes too deeply, and did what she’d been asked to do.
“Names and invitations, please?” she asked.
The man with the extreme hirsutism stepped forward gingerly, as if afraid of his own size.
“Dr Anthony Hiriluk,” he said, holding an invitation delicately between his broad fingers. “Here to- here to present about improvements in antibacterial herbs. These are the associates I wrote to you about! Lucy, and, uh, Mr Onion Heracles.”
“That’s me! Mr Onion!” said the long-nosed man. He was also wearing an onion on his hat.
She took the letter and scanned it. Looking it over, it seemed this was indeed the legitimate invitation letter that had been sent out to Anthony Hiriluk, the up-and-coming specialist in pharmaceuticals that many of Grand Line Medical’s peer reviewers were excited to meet.
Well, it took all sorts to make a world, she supposed. She wasn’t sure how Dr Anthony could work effectively in a field that involved so many tiny test tubes with hands quite that big, or how he stopped his copious hair from getting into the medicine, but it really wasn’t her business. Perhaps that’s what the associates were for.
“Will your associates be a part of your presentation, or are they just here to peruse the conference?” she asked.
“Mr Onion will be, please,” said Dr Anthony. “Lu- Lucy will be fine with a general visitor’s pass, right, Lucy?”
“Mmhm,” said Lucy, after Mr Onion poked him. Dr Baumläufer wasn’t sure if he’d even heard the question. He still looked as self-assured as ever.
“Alright then,” said Dr Baumläufer, deciding to just accept whatever was happening here. “Here are your namecards and passes. Be sure to carry them at all times so security know you’re legitimate members of the conference, otherwise you may be escorted out. The schedule for the talks is clearly displayed in the main hall, and as officially invited conference guests you can also access free food in the cafeteria any time.”
“It doesn’t make me happy at all to be called a legitimate member of the conference, you bastard!” said Dr Anthony, affixing his pass to the front of his lab coat while doing some kind of dance.
As she’d said, the conference-goers were always eccentric.
“As a professional conference-goer and medical associate, I’ve of course been to hundreds of conferences before!” said Mr Onion, putting on his own pass and then taking Lucy’s too. “Here, Lucy, if you wear this you can get free food!”
“Food! Meat!” said Lucy, stars appearing in his eyes as he grabbed the pass from Mr Onion’s hand and pinned it to his shirt. “Chopper, let’s go find the meat!”
“Don’t call me that here! It’s Dr Anthony!” said Dr Anthony.
“Oops, sorry,” said Lucy, not looking sorry at all. He was sniffing the air, as if trying to find the source of the meat by smell alone.
Perhaps this Lucy was the test subject, thought Dr Baumläufer. But then, there was still that strange feeling…
Also, what was a pharmaceuticals specialist doing with the nickname ‘Chopper’?
There was definitely something unusual about the three of them.
Ah, well. They had the invitations, after all. It wasn’t her problem.
“Yes, the cafeteria does serve meat,” she said. “That’s everything here, you can go in now.”
Lucy vanished into the venue in less than a second, dragging the others behind him.
Dr Baumläufer gathered herself together and shouted, “Next, please!”
-
Thankfully, once he’d found the cafeteria and been distracted by the smell of meat, Chopper had managed to slip from Luffy’s grasp and escape. He wasn’t hungry yet and he really, really wanted to see what was going on in the main conference hall before the presentations started, after all. This was his first conference, so there had to be lots of things to learn about. The presentations didn’t start for a while, either, so there should be plenty of time for him and Usopp to investigate as many of the stalls as he could.
After all, either Luffy or the others would definitely cause some problem sooner or later, so Chopper had to study everything as fast as he could while he still had the chance. He just hoped he could do his presentation first.
Everything was so exciting to hear about, too. There was a cool robot arm, a detailed handheld scanner that would allow for improved diagnostics, and even a study into deep brain surgery! And the discussion he’d had with the researchers studying blood composition and its relation to dietary factors might even lead to new insights into artificial blood regeneration! Zoro and Sanji would be in way less danger from blood loss if he could develop a medicine to help them regenerate blood cells faster! He had to start researching it after the conference finished for sure.
“Us- Mr Onion, look at that!” said Chopper, spotting another interesting stall. “They’re researching the effect of soil microbes on the nocturnal dancing shrub’s volume of active compound!”
“Ooooh!” said Usopp. “I mean, the great Mr Onion of course has already had thoughts around testing the efficient-ness of different microbes. But, we should go over anyway so I can compare my research to theirs. As any great researcher would!”
“Wow, Mr Onion, you’re so impressive!” said Chopper. His crewmates were really something. Who knew that Usopp had already been thinking about this!?
They wandered over to the desk.
“Can I help you… gentlemen?” said the woman manning the desk, her eyes roaming up and down Chopper’s lab coat.
“How did you get the idea to amend the soil composition in your medicinal gardens with beneficial microbes?” said Chopper excitedly. “These results are astounding! A three times improvement in efficacy of dancing shrub in the treatment of nervous issues?! Where did you get the microbial strata from? Do they take to the soil in any weather conditions? How about the soil acidity?”
“Ah, finally someone who knows what they’re talking about!” said the woman, eyes glimmering all of a sudden as she broke into a smile. “I’m Dr Faraday. And who do I have the pleasure of talking to?”
“Dr Anthony Hiriluk,” said Chopper. “And this is my associate, Mr Onion. He handles most of the more practical aspects of our medicinal garden.”
“Oh, Dr Anthony!” said Dr Faraday. “Your submitted paper on the antibacterial effects of the lesser heartflowers is a work of genius!” She leaned in conspiratorially. “I’ve been wanting to talk to you since I got here, to be honest. I definitely have some questions for you, too. But first I better answer yours!
“I got the idea to amend the soil microbes by observing flora growth when I was visiting the island of Chibika. The plants there only grow to short heights, see, and yet coffee grown there is some of the most beautifully potent in the Grand Line, so naturally I had to take some soil samples to study the potential causes. And one thing led to another, and now, here I am.” She took a sip of the coffee resting on her desk.
“Oh, that’s fascinating!” said Chopper. “And I’m not happy you called me a genius, you bastard! But, if I could grow herbs with three times the efficacy, it would allow me to reduce the birdshroom extract in my analgesic formula by a factor of two and reduce the impact on the patient’s nerve receptors while strengthening the overall effect…”
“What about if you added some beetle tree bark to boost the potency further and balanced it with a cooling antiinflammatory like Dressrosan wort?” asked Dr Faraday. “That should mean you need even less analgesic to get the same effect.”
“Ooooh!” said Chopper. “And then I could reduce the birdshroom needed by a factor of three! I’ll just have to develop the correct binding agent for the pill! Doctorine, I’ll do it! Just watch me!”
“Reducing the space needed for the birdshrooms by three would allow us to grow them in the back storage room window space, too,” said Usopp. “I’d actually already been thinking about growing them there for some time now, but the root system of the standard sized birdshroom is too far reaching. A three times more efficient plant means we can grow miniature versions! And I expect you can minimise my... more special plants, too.” He nodded.
“And then we can grow so many more things!” said Chopper. “We’ve got to do it, Mr Onion!”
“If you want to miniaturise plants, I can get you started there too,” said Dr Faraday. “Including… ahem… special ones. All the plants on Chibika are around half of the size of your typical spring island plants, while retaining their potencies. We haven’t fully analysed our data for that, but there’s bound to be something in here. Just let me dig the data sheets out and I’ll show you…” She pulled a wad of papers from under the table and spread them out.
“Take a look at this, U-Mr Onion!” said Chopper. “The profile of the vegetation is so unique…”
Chopper quickly became deeply engrossed in the discussion, fascinated with the new research possibilities.
It was therefore very surprising to him when Luffy came flying through the air twenty minutes later and crashed directly into the research table.
-
Luffy was really enjoying this mystery doctor’s con-fence thingy. He hadn’t really gotten it at first, even though it was important to Chopper so he’d come anyway, but they were really great people, giving out so much free food! Well, the cafe person had been turning a funny shade of red by the time Luffy finished his 50th plate, but it was probably fine. He could always get more food later.
He didn’t think it was time for Chopper to give his doctor speech yet, so he decided to have a look around first. On his way to get the meat he’d seen a lot of boring-looking pieces of paper and not much else, but Chopper and Torao did cool stuff all the time and they were both doctors, so he knew there had to be something fun around here somewhere. Yep. He just had to find it.
He’d looked around what must have been at least half the stalls when he finally spotted what he was looking for. There was a robot arm propped up on a display! The old guy next to it looked kind of grumpy and mean, but the arm itself looked so coooool. He had to get closer.
In a flash he’d arrived by the arm, leaning in to touch it with stars in his eyes.
“Oi! What’d’you think you’re doing?” said the grumpy guy.
“This is so cool! Lemme try it out!” said Luffy. He picked up the arm and started waving it around. What kind of stuff could it do?
“You – you can’t try it out, you buffoon! It’s a state of the art military prosthetic! That’s Marine property!”
“Huh? The Marines? Why do they get a cool robot arm and I don’t…” Luffy pouted, then thought for a second. “Hey, does it have a beam?”
“It’s- I’m- how did someone like you even get in here anyway? Give it back!”
“Nuh-uh!” said Luffy. He wasn’t finished looking at it and the Marines didn’t need a cool robot arm anyway, so the grumpy old guy couldn’t have it.
Grumpy old guy reached out for the arm, so quickly Luffy started to stretch to keep the arm out of reach – wait, but he was supposed to be in disguise. He shortened his arm and stepped backwards out of the way. Yep, that was better. Some old guy couldn’t catch him!
“You-!” said the old guy, and started chasing him. Luffy fled at a light jog, cackling, taking his prize with him as the old guy huffed and puffed to keep up. Man, this old grumpy guy really was out of shape!
“You have three seconds! I’m warning you!” said the old guy.
“Nuh-uh!” said Luffy. Oh, everyone around was looking at them.
“Well, if you’re not going to come quietly… Arm self defence sequence one, activate!”
The arm flailed wildly in his grip, firing some kind of rocket booster. He jumped into the air to dodge, stretching his arm to keep hold of it, but as he brought it close it flailed around so much he fell out the air and landed right on a table.
Oh, there were Chopper and Usopp!
“Chopper! Usopp!” he called. For some reason, their mouths were wide open. There was a lady with them, too.
The arm was still wriggling, reorienting itself to try to ram him.
“Hey, that wasn’t very nice!” said Luffy. He stretched a little and held the arm out at a safe distance, muscles tensing. There, it could flail all it wanted now. It couldn’t hit him from there.
“Lu-Lucy! What are you doing here?” said Usopp.
“Why do you have a cool robot arm?” asked Chopper.
Huh? Lucy? Oh yeah! Lucy was him.
“Isn’t it cool?” said Luffy. He tightened his grip a little with haki as the arm struggled against him, the rocket boosters flaring helplessly. “I took it from that old grumpy guy, he doesn’t need it.”
“My table!” said the doctor lady. “My research!”
“Security!” said the old guy, finally catching up with Luffy. “This buffoon stole my display!”
“I was just looking at it and you chased me! And you don’t need it anyway!” said Luffy. “You didn’t have to knock over this lady’s table!”
“That was you!” said Chopper. “And we were just looking at Dr Faraday’s research, so you better hope it’s all still there!”
“But it was this old guy’s arm, so it’s his fault,” Luffy said.
“Uh, Luf- I mean, Lucy, maybe we should perhaps get out of here?” said Usopp. “I can see the security coming and I have a very bad case of I-Don’t-Wanna-Be-Kicked-Out-The-Conference-Itis…”
“Oh, I guess Chopper didn’t do his speech thingy yet,” said Luffy. “Yep, we can’t get caught until at least then. Usopp’s so smart... Alright, old guy, catch!” He spun the arm around and let it go, letting the boosters that were still firing rocket it right at the old guy, who doubled over as it hit him in the stomach. Then, laughing, Luffy dropped into Gear 2, swept up his crew and legged it all the way out of the main hall.
“Shishishishi!” said Luffy, pleased with himself. The old guy had looked so mad, hehe. “Alright! No one saw us! Now you can still do your speech, Chopper!”
“Um, Luffy…” said Chopper. He pointed to the space next to him.
Ah! The doctor lady was there!
Oops. His bad.
Ah, it was probably fine.
-
“Hey, you!” shouted Dr Faraday. “How dare you knock over my research!? Don’t you have any respect for experimental integrity?” How dare this guy in a two-layered hat appear from nowhere and land on her table!? She’d been discussing science!
“Huh?” said the hat guy, looking confused. “What’s an experiment integral?”
And why were they all suddenly outside anyway? She was sure it’d been a lot warmer three seconds ago.
Wait, she remembered now. The hat guy had grabbed her and run off all of a sudden!
“Also, who are you!?” she asked. “You can’t just kidnap people like that! And you brought poor Dr Anthony and Mr Onion too! We were busy researching!”
“Actually, Luffy’s our captain, so it’s fine…” said Mr Onion.
“Oh, he’s your captain, I see,” said Dr Faraday.
Wait.
Luffy.
Captain.
Mr Onion had called him Luffy and he was the captain.
Her eyes went wide.
“Aa-!”
In an instant an arm shot out to cover her mouth.
“Hey, don’t make loud noises!” said Emperor Strawhat Luffy. Because who else could it be. “We’re in disguise.”
Dr Faraday nodded frantically. Thankfully, this got Strawhat to withdraw his arm.
“You’re… you’re Strawhat,” said Dr Faraday.
“Monkey D Luffy,” said Strawhat. “Nice to meet you!”
“You’re Emperor Strawhat,” said Dr Faraday.
“That’s what I just said,” said Strawhat.
“And the others, too?”
“Yup,” said Strawhat. “This is my crew!”
It was confirmed then.
“Alright,” said Dr Faraday. “Alright. I’ve been doing science with pirates.”
She could work with this. It was fine. Probably.
Not all pirates were terrible, after all. Just last year, the then-Warlord Trafalgar Law, the Surgeon of Death, had turned up and presented several highly insightful papers. And she was sure the keynote speaker of four years ago had been a disguised Marco the Phoenix.
Plus, Dr… Anthony? really did know his stuff. Strawhat probably wasn’t here for anything nefarious. She hoped. Hadn’t he said something about wanting to hear Dr Anthony’s speech? He was probably just here in the name of medical science and supporting his crewmate. Please. Please, Nika, let that be the case.
“So… you’re pirates, but you’re really doctors?” she asked.
“Yep! I’m Dr Tony Tony Chopper!” said Dr not-actually-Anthony. He shrunk (!!) down suddenly into a small tanuki-like creature. “I’m gonna find the cure for every disease in the world! This is the first time I went to a medical conference, though.”
“Yep! Chopper’s the best doctor,” said Strawhat.
“It doesn’t make me happy for you to say that, Luffy!” said Dr Chopper, while wiggling in a way that suggested it made him very happy indeed.
“And… I don’t remember seeing a bounty for Mr Onion?” she asked tentatively.
“I’m Captain Usopp!” said the supposed Mr Onion, striking a pose.
“Oh!” said Dr Faraday. “Yes, I have heard of you.”
“Of course you have! I’m the most famous pirate in the Grand Line!” said Usopp.
“So…,” said Dr Faraday. “Mr... Emperor Strawhat. You’re really here just to… present Dr Chopper’s research? You didn’t… what did you kidnap me for?”
“Yep, Chopper wanted me to come!” said Strawhat. “Though having that robot arm would be cool too.” He stopped to pick his nose. Ew. “And you were just here somehow,” he explained. “I don’t know.”
Wonderful. An Emperor had kidnapped her by complete accident. Spectacular. Amazing. Fantastic. Brilliant. No problem at all.
Well, she was here now, so what should she do about it?
It’s not like Strawhat seemed like a man who didn’t value science. Not with a man like Dr Chopper on his crew, after all.
“Alright,” said Dr Faraday, slipping into acceptance. “This might as well happen to me. Alright.”
She could hear shouting in the distance coming from the main hall. No doubt, the old marine research doctor had already called for security, who would undoubtedly be looking for the robot arm thief at this very moment. Since she’d vanished too, there was a good chance she’d be grouped in with the pirates. The marines here weren’t known for being flexible.
And… well… Dr Chopper really was a genius. He undoubtedly had countless papers left in him and she reallyyyy wanted to collaborate with him. If the Marines caught him, she wouldn’t be able to ask him to look at her next project on herbal and microbial immune strengtheners. And he was her best bet for recovering the data Strawhat had carelessly knocked over. The thought of what they could do together was already giving her the tingles.
“Fine,” she said casually. “I’ll help you get back in. I don’t like that twit Dr Footleg anyway, medical science shouldn’t be used for military advancement, it’s for the people! But since you knocked over my table, your crewmates have to help me recover my research, or I won’t do anything!”
“Eh?” said Strawhat.
“I’ll do it!” said Chopper. “It’s really important research, Luffy! I can help a lot of people with it!”
“Ok, you can if you want, Chopper,” said Strawhat. “But... why do I need help? Can’t I just go watch Chopper’s speech? I’ll just steal the robot arm again after.” He seemed genuinely confused.
“You idiot,” said Usopp. “The Marines already saw you. If you go back in dressed the same as you are now, security will chase you again!”
“Oh, right,” said Strawhat. “I need a new disguise.”
“…”, said Dr Faraday. “OBVIOUSLY you need a new disguise! Now do you want my help or not?”
“Hmm, I guess you can help,” said Strawhat.
What kind of captain was he?!?
Well, this was the situation she was in.
“Luffy! I’m going to miss the start!” Chopper begged. “Hurry up and get a disguise! I gotta learn everything I can before they find out I’m a pirate!”
“Then, how about like this? Let’s go!” said Strawhat, pulling Usopp’s jacket over his head. Was this really how Emperors of the Sea acted?
“NO!” said Usopp, grabbing his jacket back. “Luffy, that won’t work! I can still see your hat! Like we just said, you need a new disguise!”
“Oh, oops,” said Strawhat.
Yeah, he needed her help even more than she’d realised.
“...Look, Emperor Strawhat, I just said I can help,” said Dr Faraday. “You might not know this about me, but in addition to being a scientist, I’m also an amateur theatre lover.”
“YOU ARE!?” all three Strawhats shouted together.
“Strawhat,” said Dr Faraday patiently. She could feel her blood pressure rising. “How about you and Usopp come to my hotel room? We’ll catch up with Dr Chopper in the conference. I’m sure he wants to get there in advance, since it’s his first time here.”
“Your hotel room?” said Strawhat. “What for? Is there food there?”
“I have costumes in there,” she said. This was all for science. This was all for science. “The ones you want for your disguise. I was going to put on a performance later after the conference finished, so I brought them with me. I think at least some of the costumes should fit you...”
“Oooh, mystery costumes! I see,” said Strawhat. “Usopp, let’s go and get disguises! See you later, Chopper! Hey, doctor lady, can I be a ninja?”
He turned to run off.
“It’s the other way!” said Dr Faraday. “And no, that’s way too obvious!”
Behind her, Chopper put his head in his hooves.
As Usopp pulled his wayward captain along behind her, Dr Faraday took a very deep breath.
-
After the others left, Chopper transformed back into Heavy Point and headed back into the conference. He still had 5 minutes to get to the presentation rooms and get a good seat for “Healing Bone Fractures With Medicinal Mushrooms”. Everything was still on track. This was fine.
He looked around cautiously to see if there was still any security around, then entered the hall carefully. He was still in disguise, right? It was just Luffy who’d caused a scene. So no one could pin any blame on him, right? Yep, they couldn’t. No one knew that he was actually a pirate reindeer with a blue nose.
He strode through the hall, trying to seem confident, and headed into the presentation room.
“HELLO, WELCOME!”
“AAAAAH!” screamed Chopper.
Wait, it was just a doctor.
“Hey, why’d you startle me like that, you dummy!?”
“Hey, hey, calm down, big fellow!” said the doctor. “No need to shout!”
“You shouted first!” said Chopper.
“Alright, alright, let’s not quibble over the details,” said the doctor. He peered at Chopper’s name badge.
“Ah!” he said. “You’re Dr Anthony!”
“Uhuh,” said Chopper.
“I’m looking forward to hearing your presentation later! My colleague bet me that you can’t do it since you’re new, but I think you’ve really got something going, you know. So I couldn’t help but take them up on it. I’m sure you’ll do a great job for me, Dr!”
“Of course I’m going to do a great job!” shouted Chopper. “Who bets on something like that!?”
“Me, Dr Cannister!” The doctor pointed at himself, grinning proudly.
What a strange man.
Well, at least the presentation would be interesting.
-
“Welcome to my presentation on the ethical ramifications of using Sea Kings as test subjects!”
“Alright, everyone, I, the amazing Gordon, am gonna talk about the use of my new drug Gordonia to prevent gangrene in sword, flail, and shrapnel wounds! Gordon!”
“Hello... uh... welcome... welcome to my presentation on... mixing seawater bone strengtheners...”
“OH BOY, HAVE I GOT A PRESENTATION FOR YOU!”
One by one, Chopper sat through the presentations from the other doctors, diligently taking notes on anything and everything. Every time he asked as many clarifying questions as he could, wanting to make sure the details were fully correct and consolidated into the most useful form possible for further research. He couldn’t let anything slip past him. Dr Hiriluk and Doctorine had taught him so much, but there was still so much more to learn, and he was going to achieve his dream of curing every disease in the world or he was going to die trying, so he needed every scrap of information he could get.
Plus, as he asked more and more questions, he could feel the respect his colleagues had for him growing. He was going to be a doctor that Dr Hiriluk could be proud of.
He was still a little nervous, though. His own presentation wouldn’t be until the afternoon. And there was still no sign of Luffy or Usopp. He didn’t want to present everything all by himself.
It was only after the tenth presentation in the morning that Dr Faraday finally tapped him on the shoulder. She was followed by Usopp and... was that really Luffy? He looked so different!
“Hi, Chopper!”
Oh, it was then.
“You dummies were so slow!” said Chopper. “You missed so much, you idiots!”
“Well, the great Dr Anthony can surely catch us all up on it,” said Usopp. “Though, I, Mr Onion, knew about all these things already, of course. I give five thousand presentations every week!”
“You calling me great doesn’t make me happy!” said Chopper.
“If you could let me look at your notes later, Dr Anthony, that would be very helpful,” said Dr Faraday. “I need it after... well, you’re his crew. He ate my lunch and ransacked my hotel room. With these kind of problems, I’ll need to start eating my own mushrooms at this rate.”
“Huh?” said Luffy. “What problems? Oh, thanks for the food!”
“Don’t worry about it, Strawhat,” sighed Dr Faraday.
“Shh!” said Chopper. “The next presentation is starting!”
-
Luffy was not a good presentation watcher. Usopp had known it as soon as the conference had been announced, and just a few presentations in the foreboding feeling in his gut was already being proven right.
It wasn’t as if he was perfect at it himself – though he was doing the best he could to follow along with the current topic of refraction of focused light and its use in microsurgery, which was definitely something he and Franky could do quite a lot with and was really quite fascinating, his brain was distracting him by throwing up a ton of scenarios about what if they got caught, what if the conference centre exploded, what if the Marines found them and dragged them to Impel Down and fed the keys to a Sea King, et cetera – but he was at least trying to listen. And he knew Chopper would have detailed notes on everything anyway, so he could make a copy of those later if it came to it. But Luffy – Luffy had spent the entire time fidgeting and the last five minutes literally tying his own fingers in knots. Usopp couldn’t stand to watch him any more. This was worse than Usopp Spell.
Well, he’d known Luffy wouldn’t find this interesting. The only reason his captain had a chance of listening to Chopper later was because it was Chopper.
“Luffy,” he whispered, “you don’t have to stay for all of these, you know.”
“I don’t?” said Luffy.
“Chopper’s presentation isn’t until 2 o’clock in room 2B. Just go and explore for a bit and meet us then.” With a sudden wave of panic he added, “But don’t get in trouble again! Remember we’re in disguise!”
“Yosh!” said Luffy. “Thanks, Usopp! Alright, I’ll see you guys later!” He patted Usopp and Chopper on the heads and quietly ran out of the lecture room.
“He’s going to get into trouble again, isn’t he?” said Dr Faraday.
“...Probably,” said Usopp. He paled. “Oh, no. We’re all doomed...”
“Oi, I can’t hear the presenter!” said Chopper, still scribbling diligently. “Shh!”
-
Luffy was finally free again.
He strolled down a corridor, grinning as he took a moment to pull the new, different hat on the top of his straw hat back down. The cool doctor lady still hadn’t let him dress as a ninja, or as a robot, but the coat she’d found him did look pretty great and pirate-y and she’d said the trousers were the kind that ninjas wore. So it was all good.
Those present-o things had been so boring, though! He sure was glad he had Chopper to know about things like that. It was such hard work to sit still on those little seats and listen to all those long words. Chopper and Usopp were so smart for doing that all the time.
But for now, the important part was that he was hungry again. Now, where had the cafe gone?
He sniffed to the left. He sniffed to the right.
Ah! There was the smell he knew. The meat was that way.
Meat, here he came!
-
Almond was not in a good mood.
Normally, the life of a cafeteria worker at the Washi Island Hotel and Conference Centre was, if not exactly the greatest job in the Grand Line, at least fairly predictable. Guests would check in, they and the staff would visit the cafe and eat a normal amount of food, they’d pay, and they’d leave again. Conferences normally featured a bit more excitement due to the higher numbers, but the assorted boffins and bigwigs usually cared more about their research or their meetings than their dinner.
Not today, it seemed.
The conference today was apparently for the Grand Line Medical Journal, a very respectable publication indeed with a history dating back longer than Almond had been alive, and for the first half an hour or so the customers in the cafe had behaved as you’d expect for a group of well-known doctors focused on medical research. But then, suddenly, that guy had come in! That guy with the two hats! How could anyone in the world eat so much as that?
What was supposed to happen was that conference attendees would show their badge, and then they would wait to be given one free meal per mealtime. Additional meals were supposed to be paid for. And, seeing the hat guy’s pass, even though he’d rushed in yelling about meat, Almond had been fully prepared to serve him a free breakfast as usual for any conference guest.
But then, instead of waiting, the guy had somehow stretched his arms out to an inhuman length and scooped up all ten of the meals waiting under the glass! And then had the nerve to ask them for more!
Then, every time one of the kitchen staff brought out new servings, he snatched up those too!
By the time the hat guy left without paying after the 60th serving, Almond had just been relieved the cafeteria still had any stock left. The boss’d be so mad at them if there wasn’t enough food to feed the Marine detachment later.
They and their fellow workers had frantically done some damage control, and within an hour things were finally back up to full capacity. It had been just in time, too – the lunch rush would be coming up soon. But Almond had hardly had time to breathe a sigh of relief when it had happened again!
Another guy was here! With the same monstrous appetite as the first one! And he didn’t even have a badge this time! He’d just started eating!
Wait.
Wait.
The clothes were different. There was a moustache instead of a beard. The hat colour of the outer hat was different. But those grabby hands were stretching the exact same uncanny way as before! This was the same guy! Damn him!
Ok, Almond was calm. They could handle this. No need to make a big fuss. They could deal with it calmly.
“Sir,” they said, “could I please see your conference pass? Only authorised members of the conference get free food, you see.”
“Pass...” said the guy, his mouth stretched around a plate of chicken. “Oh, pass! I had it earlier!” He patted his clothes. “Oh! I lost it.”
“Then... can I maybe get your name so I can compare it with the conference records?” asked Almond.
The guy swallowed the chicken. And the plate. Whole.
“Me? I’m Luffy! Nice to meet you!” he said.
Almond stared at him. Strawhat Fucking Luffy stared back, grin stretching up to his ears.
Oh fuck. This man could crush them like a bug. They were completely pickled, weren’t they?
Strawhat Luffy said, “Ah, I shouldn’t have said that!”
-
Marine Petty Officer Vines took out the mini denden discreetly stashed in his pocket. What luck that he’d happened to be in the cafeteria to overhear this!
Quietly, behind the cover of his newspaper, he made a hurried report to Commander Leftenant. This was bound to get him a promotion for sure. Strawhat Luffy himself, here at the medical conference eating too much of the free food. Wasn’t that something? This could be his lucky break.
He stowed the denden away and sniggered quietly to himself.
-
Commander Leftenant of the Washi Island Marine Outpost was having a stressful day. The ensigns had been making fun of his name again, they were out of fucking herbal tea somehow, and there were way too many ships in the harbour here for that medical conference, despite how deep in the Grand Line they were. This island not being especially important to Headquarters, and with the other things he needed the staff for, he simply didn’t have the manpower to secure a whole conference, even if the attendees were some of the world’s top medical specialists. And on top of that, there’d been reports of some interference with the Mayor’s special operation. If they were true, that was just what he needed on top of everything. Wonderful.
He puffed on his cigarette to strengthen his nerves, and answered the ringing denden mushi. Then he nearly shut it off again in surprise.
“What? Strawhat Luffy is at the conference? Are you sure?”
“Yes,” answered Petty Officer... Vanes, was it?
“Alright, Vanes,” said Leftenant. “Any idea what he’s after?”
“It’s Vines, sir,” said Vanes. “And it’s unclear so far, sir. At the moment he seems to be preoccupied with devouring the entire stock of the cafeteria.”
“Understood, Vanes,” he answered. “Keep an eye on him and wait for my orders.”
He shut off the denden connection, ate the rest of the cigarette in a panic, and called up the Mayor.
-
Luffy looked at the cafe person. The cafe person looked at him. Luffy stuffed another few plates of food into his mouth.
“I give up,” said the cafe person. “I’m not paid enough for this.”
“Eh?” said Luffy around his food. “Give up? Cafe person doesn’t want to own a cafe?”
“I don’t own the cafe, I just – I just work here – I want to – I mean that I’m not supposed to give you this much food,” Cafe person spluttered. “But you can have it anyway, I don’t care any more. Aren’t you a pirate? Why do you care?”
“Normally I am, but Chopper said today I’m his re-search assistant!” said Luffy. “But, thanks for the food, cafe person! I’m sure you can get your own cafe some day! Or whatever else you want!” He grinned and scooped up one last batch of food, and left the cafe. Behind him, the cafe person made a funny noise again. Oh, well, it was fine.
The con-fence hall was pretty empty now. He guessed most of the doctors were listening to the present things. So, what should he do while he waited?
Oh, that’s right! He could steal the robot arm! He couldn’t bring it to Chopper’s speech, but he could always call Robin and get her to take it. She was good at sneaking into places, so she’d definitely be able to meet him.
He couldn’t see the arm, though, so he guessed the old grumpy guy must have taken it somewhere. But, where?
He tried hard to think, his face going red with the effort.
There weren’t any arms in the present-o room with Chopper and Usopp before, he’d have seen it. So, it wasn’t there.
He couldn’t see it here, so it wasn’t here.
If he was a grumpy Marine robot arm maker who hated everyone, where would he go?
Oh, maybe there was a special con-fence room just for Marine doctors! They probably did all sorts of secret medicine they didn’t tell anyone about.
Yosh! He could just go there!
But how to get there?
He could... follow a Marine?
Ok, he’ll find a Marine who’s going somewhere and follow them!
Perfect.
-
Everything was too peaceful, thought Usopp.
Luffy had been gone for a while now, but he hadn’t heard any shouting, explosions, or anything like that. It was way too unusual.
He tried hard to concentrate on the presentation, writing his own notes with one hand and re-writing what he could remember of Dr Faraday’s notes for her with the other. There was no point worrying about whatever it was before it happened, so he might as well do this for now.
Still, it was Luffy he was talking about here. Whether he wanted it to or not, something was definitely going to happen at some point.
-
Luffy crept along quietly behind the first Marine he’d spotted going somewhere instead of standing in one place. It’d taken him a bit to find one, but, see, he could be stealthy! He’d already followed the marine through several locked doors, slipping through using his observation haki, and ducking out of sight when he needed to, and now the Marine was headed through some mystery corridors. Luffy was carefully matching his footsteps, which was pretty fun. It reminded him of that one time in G8 when they’d snuck in to rescue their gold.
Eventually they reached a big set of double doors where another guard was waiting. Hurriedly, Luffy dipped into a side corridor. He stretched his head out as far as he dared, and watched as the Marine he’d been following switched with the other guard. Seemed like a pretty important room.
Huh. Well, he couldn’t see any other way in apart from this door.
He’d have to punch it, then. Sorry, Chopper, but it’d probably be fine.
He walked up to the door casually.
“Oi! Who are you?” said the Marine. “Regular conference members aren’t allowed in this area!”
“Is this where the robot arm is?” Luffy asked.
“What? Who- you’re not authorised to know about this room!” said the Marine. “Show me some ID or I’ll shoot!”
“Huh? I just followed you guys,” said Luffy. Bullets bounced off him as he forced the door open. Ooh, yes! The arm was there! And the room was empty right now!
“Hey! What- what are you?!” the Marine shouted.
“I’m Monkey D. Luffy! I ate the Gomu Gomu no Mi!” said Luffy. “Wait, I’m not supposed to tell you that!”
The Marine reached into their pocket for a denden.
Luffy punched them, then quickly shoved their knocked out body into a store room.
Giggling, he picked up the arm and cradled it close to him. There, it was much better behaved now without the grumpy old guy around! The box next to it looked like it might be important too, so he picked that up as well and slipped it into his pocket.
Mission successful! Time to call Robin.
-
Petty Officer Vines returned to the special Marine conference zone after his early lunch break to find quite a scene.
“Security!” shouted Dr Footleg, red faced and sweaty. “That thief! Catch him! He’s stolen the project! That’s proprietary Marine technology! And where was the guard!?”
“Dr Footleg, wasn’t it?” he asked. “This thief, can you tell me, what did he look like?”
“Well, I didn’t see him this time, I just came back to find it missing,” said Dr Footleg. “But it has to be the same buffoon from earlier! He already tried to steal it once, but he ran off! He had a big white beard, sunglasses, and a hat on top of a hat! What kind of idiot wears two hats at once? Not someone who deserves my advanced technology, that’s for sure!”
“A hat disguising a hat, you say?” asked Petty Officer Vines. “Hmm...” He made a decision. “Dr Footleg, it’s the Marine’s suspicion right now that Strawhat Luffy has infiltrated the conference in disguise. Do you think that could have been the man who tried to steal from you?” He pulled a copy of Strawhat’s bounty poster from his coat. The older one, not the new one with the strange white form.
Dr Footleg stared at the poster, then tore it roughly out of Vines’ hands. He pulled a marker from his jacket and scribbled on it briefly. They both stared at the image of Strawhat with a shitty beard and glasses.
“He’s exactly the same!” they both shouted.
-
Robin smiled as the denden mushi in her pocket rang softly. “Clutch!” she said, the marines’ unconscious bodies dropping to the floor. “Sorry, gentlemen, it seems my captain wants me.”
She answered quietly, staying hidden in the corner. She may have taken out this patrol, but that didn’t mean there weren’t more Marines around just waiting to capture her and throw her to the bottom of the ocean, after all. “Luffy?” she said. “I’m a little busy.”
“Robin!” said Luffy. “I found a cool robot arm, so I stole it! Can you come and take it back to Sunny? I gotta stay here for Chopper!”
“Oh?” she asked. “That sounds rather exciting, Captain.” The sound of Franky exploding something echoed in the background of the factory.
“Hey, are you fighting something?” asked Luffy. “Should I come help?”
“It’s just a little lively over here, that’s all, Luffy,” said Robin. “Nami wanted more paper supplies, and one thing led to another. But there’s no problem. I’ll meet you at the conference shortly.”
“Yosh!” said Luffy. “I’ll see you there, Robin!”
Gatcha.
Well, that was something. Robin laughed under her breath. This little island was turning out to be very lively indeed.
-
Commander Leftenant’s stressful day had turned into a very stressful day.
Somehow, the incident with the Mayor’s special factory had escalated, and now there were explosions too. He’d dispatched all spare troops, even the ones with augmentations, not wanting to deal with a pissed off Mayor when the island’s profits went down and lose his cut, so now the marine base was running on a skeleton crew. And yet somehow more and more damage reports kept coming in. He’d gone through a whole packet of cigarettes. He wasn’t sure there’d be anything left to have a cut of at this rate. And there was still no herbal tea.
His denden rang again.
“Whoever this is, this better be good!” he demanded.
“It’s Petty Officer Vines, sir,” said Vanes. “Reporting from the medical conference.”
“I don’t give a shit about the medical conference!” said Leftenant. “We’ve got enough problems with the factory! At least the conference isn’t exploding! Whatever you’ve got to tell me can’t be that bad!”
“Unfortunately, sir,” said Vanes, and, oh, Leftenant didn’t like the sound of this, “Strawhat Luffy’s stolen the prototype robotic arm prosthetic.”
Oh, for fuck’s sake. The new prototype too? The one that was promising to upgrade every Marine in the area? Was God pissing on him today?
“...Understood. I’ll mobilise all the hands I can spare,” said Leftenant. He shivered. If that arm went missing, forget just the Mayor, he’d be personally dealing with the Commodore coming over.
-
By the end of the morning, Chopper had written up a whole ream of notes to take back with him. Everything was just so fascinating! In fact, time had flown by so quickly that he hardly realised it was the assigned break for lunch until Dr Faraday poked him to remind him to stand up.
“Thinking about it, I am hungry...” he said. “I guess we’ll be able to think better if we eat some food.”
“Finally!” said Usopp. “I’m so hungry! Though, did you know I once sat through 5000 presentations without getting hungry at all?”
“Mr Onion, that’s amazing!” said Chopper.
“Let’s go, fellow researchers!” said Dr Faraday. “Or we’re going to have to stand in a loooong queue.”
Unfortunately, it seemed like when they got to the cafe, there was already a queue.
“What do you mean the lunches aren’t ready?” someone was shouting. “Don’t you prepare everything in advance?”
“There’s been a last minute issue,” said a beleaguered-looking cafe worker. “Uh... it’s better not to tell you about it. We’re working hard to get the new lunches ready as soon as possible.”
“What do you mean it’s better not to tell us about it?”
“Uh oh,” whispered Chopper. “Luffy’s definitely been here, hasn’t he?”
“Oh, yeah,” said Usopp. “I did tell him he could get free food with his visitor pass... We’ll all starve!”
“Your captain... would be enough to eat the cafeteria’s lunch supply all by himself?” Dr Faraday asked.
“Definitely,” said Chopper.
“We have to keep a seastone lock on the fridge,” said Usopp. “Otherwise he’d definitely eat everything. Every day we have to fight him over breakfast.”
“I see,” said Dr Faraday. “And I already gave him my extra lunch, too...” She sighed, stretching. “Well, if there’s no more food, how about you two help me restore my notes? My own presentation is coming up soon.”
“Good idea,” said Chopper. “We can always get Sanji to feed us later. You can come back to the ship with us, Dr Faraday!”
“Uhh... me, too?” asked Dr Faraday. “I’m not a member of your crew.”
“Luffy likes you, so it’s fine,” said Chopper. “Now, what did you manage to collect from your research notes? We can start there!”
The conference hall would be pretty quiet while everyone was at lunch, so they should have plenty of space to work. Chopper had no doubt they’d have the notes reconstructed in no time.
Though, was it Chopper’s imagination or were there suddenly more Marines around?
-
They’d been working for a little while, when suddenly, a voice boomed out across the conference hall.
“Attention! Strawhat Luffy has been sighted within the conference hall! If you see him or any of his crew members, stay back and report to the Marines immediately! Even if apparently unarmed, all members are considered highly dangerous!”
Highly dangerous, Dr Faraday thought? Sure, Strawhat himself was undoubtedly dangerous, for all that he’d been nice to her so far. And the other famous members like Pirate Hunter Zoro were surely dangerous too. But Chopper and Usopp? Such a kind doctor as Chopper could never be that dangerous, right? And Usopp was currently mumbling something about “Don’t-Want-To-Get-Caught-By-The-Marines-Disease”. They both seemed like nice young men with a healthy interest in science. And they were making such good progress at recovering the research Strawhat had knocked over. The marines must be exaggerating.
It was nearly time for her to present her research, though, so who cared if the Marines were looking for Strawhat? She’d finally got everything in order enough to do the topic justice. She hoped her new friends found it useful. She really wanted to see their future work on miniaturised plants.
The security to get back into the presentation room had increased, though. All three of them had to show their passes again, and be compared to an old copy of Strawhat’s bounty poster that seemed to have a beard and sunglasses badly drawn on.
Just a bit longer, thought Dr Faraday. They were nearly through the inspection.
“Oi, long nose,” said the marine inspector to Usopp. “Doesn’t one of the Strawhats have a long nose?” Dr Faraday tensed.
“How dare you compare me to those scoundrels, the Strawhats!” said Usopp, and, oh, he was good at acting. “In fact, every day, my own wife tells me how God Usopp of the Strawhats is so much better looking than me, even though we have the same long nose! Even though I, Mr Onion, am a renowned botanist! She even said that if we ever meet him, she’ll leave me for him! I hate him! Don’t ever compare me to him, sir!” There were tears in Usopp’s eyes.
“Sorry, sorry, sir!” said the Marine. “I didn’t know!”
Well, Dr Faraday wasn’t into amateur theatre for nothing. In for a beri, in for a thousand.
“Mr Onion here is a renowned colleague of mine!” she said, throwing her arm around Usopp’s shoulder. “He was vital in my investigation into medicinal plant growth! How could you cause him so much distress, and when I’ve only recently been reunited with him, too?”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” said the Marine. “Alright, just go on through... it’s pretty obvious you’re not a Strawhat...”
“Stop us again and I’ll report you for harrassment!” said Dr Faraday. “Now, come on, Mr Onion, it’s ok, it’s ok... I’ll tell my sister not to leave you...”
Once they were out of sight of the checkpoint, Usopp stopped crying, as if by magic. “Pretty good back there, Dr,” he said.
“Usopp, I didn’t know you were married!” said Chopper.
“I’m not,” said Usopp.
“That, Dr Chopper, is the beauty of amateur theatre,” Dr Faraday explained. “I don’t have a sister, either.”
“Oh, I see!” said Chopper. He paused for a moment. “I hope Luffy’s alright. There’s no way he can get past a checkpoint like that without making trouble.”
“Since they suddenly upped security like that, I think we have to consider that he already made trouble,” said Usopp. “Come on, Chopper, we’ll get you through to your speech. Luffy’ll show up when he shows up. You can count on me!”
“Usopp! You’re the best!” said Chopper.
“And I’ll be there, too,” said Dr Faraday. “I’ve come this far already, haven’t I?”
“Mhmm! That’s right!” said Chopper, brightening up.
They made their way back into the presentation room, and Dr Faraday shuffled to the front, readying her notes. Chopper’s presentation wouldn’t be too long after this, either. Hopefully Strawhat, wherever he was, could hold things together until then.
Gradually, people filtered in, and Dr Faraday gave her speech. She finished up with an acknowledgement of her new helpers.
“And lastly, thank you to Dr Anthony and Mr Onion for helping me restore my notes after an incident earlier! I wouldn’t have been able to present the world of soil microbe amendments to you without them!”
She waved the two startled pirates up to the stage at the front, as Chopper brushed off her praises and Usopp burst into self-flattery.
“Make sure to listen to Dr Anthony’s presentation in room 2B in about ten minutes! His research on herbal antibacterials is the number one peer reviewed paper in this quarter’s journal!”
Mutters spread around the room as people processed that.
“Now, if anyone has any questions-”
BANG!
The door of the presentation room slammed open violently.
“It’s them!” said Dr Footleg, pointing menacingly at the stage. “They’re the ones Strawhat was talking to earlier!”
The marine who’d been at the desk earlier, trailing after him, said, “But... but that long nose bearded guy hates the Strawhats! His wife wants to leave him for God Usopp... because... because... they have... the same long nose...”
The marine stared at them. For a second, the weight of Usopp’s lies hung in the air.
“Get them!” Another Marine broke the silence, standing at Dr Footleg’s shoulder. “I’ll catch them and get my promotion for sure!” He fired his rifle indiscriminately towards the stage. Dr Faraday froze, sure she was going to die.
But she didn’t.
Suddenly in front of her was a giant wall of fur.
“Dr Anthony transformed!” someone shouted.
“He must be the Strawhats’ transforming pet tanuki!” shouted the Marine, still firing his gun.
“Hey, I’m not a tanuki, I’m a reindeer! And I’m not a pet!” shouted Chopper, who apparently was the giant fur wall, before transforming again into the tiny form from earlier.
Had he... just saved her life?
He had.
“Dr Anthony’s a Strawhat?!” came the cries from around the room. “Wait, but I still want to hear his paper!”
“His questions about reconnection of blood vessels in the spine were fascinating!”
“Bring the heavy artillery!” shouted the Marine.
“Oi oi oi!” said Usopp. “You know, if you shoot us, Luffy will definitely come after you!”
“We’re counting on it!” said Dr Footleg.
“You can’t bring heavy artillery in here!” the shouting came up from the crowd. “It’s a conference room!”
“Hey,” Dr Faraday whispered, taking advantage of the noise as the room descended into chaos. “This kind of ceiling... there’s always a crawlspace above these. Any way you can get us up there?”
“A back route? Oh, I see,” said Usopp.
“Oh, that’s smart!” said Chopper.
“We’ve just got to create a distraction...” said Dr Faraday.
At that moment, there was a strange rumbling sound.
A hubbub of people in worn rags ran past the open doorway of the room, followed by a woman Dr Faraday recognised from her bounty poster as Nico Robin.
After them followed a cascade of marines, some with robot arms or legs, chasing after them in hot pursuit, all of them shouting.
The Marine who’d been shooting at them turned to look at the doorway, startled.
“Special Attack: Smoke Star!”
“Kung-Fu Point!”
Suddenly, before Dr Faraday could process, she flew through a cloud of smoke into the ceiling. Chopper had become some kind of squat, round figure and Usopp was letting go of her to put the ceiling panel back behind them.
“Ohhh...” she said.
They each grabbed one of her arms and dragged her across the crawlspace, away from the entrance point. Both were surprisingly strong. Ok, now she could see why the Marines had warned they were highly dangerous. She suspected either of them could have taken out the whole squad they’d seen below, if they hadn’t had a different goal.
“Alright, Doctor, where’s the room we need for Chopper’s presentation?” asked Usopp.
“It’s- It’s that way,” she said, catching her breath.
“Then you go with Chopper, and I’ll distract the Marines until Luffy shows up,” he said.
“I-”
“Go! Go go go!”
“A-Alright,” she said.
Chopper turned back into the small tanuki form.
“At least I’ve still got my notes with me,” he said. “We can get everything set up over there.”
“Why- why am I- why do you-” Dr Faraday stumbled. Perhaps it was the shock of being shot at finally catching up with her.
“The Marines might think you’re one of us, since you were talking to us earlier,” said Chopper. “So you’d better come with us! I’ll definitely protect you, though!”
“...Alright,” she said, accepting. “Alright. It’s this way. In the name of medicine.” Unsure what else to do, she laughed. “Strawhat better keep me safe after this!”
“I won’t let anything happen to you, so Luffy won’t either,” said Chopper. He fished out some herbal concoction from his pocket. “Here, this one’s good for stress.”
“I’m not stressed,” she said. She took the herbs anyway.
-
What good luck it had been, thought Robin, that there was a convenient exit route from the factory they’d destroyed into the hotel. She’d thought they might be all trapped in the ruins of the factory as it burnt down and die, but it looked like that wasn’t the case after all. And this was precisely where Luffy had asked her to meet him, too!
Usopp and Chopper had been in one of the rooms she’d run past, as well. They seemed to have things under control, so she’d left them to it. Absentmindedly, she wondered if Chopper had given his presentation yet. No, he couldn’t have, since Luffy wasn’t with him. Well, she was sure it’d be fine.
She opened a few extra ears and eyes around the building, looking out for where Luffy might be. Ah! There he was. Yes, that was indeed quite a large robot arm he was holding. Much more impressive than the ones fitted to the Marines chasing her. She imagined Franky would be very excited to dismantle it.
She sprouted a hand on the wall near him as well and waved to get his attention.
“Oh! Robin!” he said.
She pointed, making a chain of hands leading towards the intersection she’d be coming to.
Thankfully, Luffy got the idea and sped off in the right direction, and shortly afterwards she spotted her captain directly up ahead.
“Luffy! Give me the arm!” she shouted.
“Robin! Thanks!” said Luffy, and threw both the arm and what was presumably its control device into the air. She caught both easily and kept running onward, settling the weight into her extra arms, the escapees from the factory still following her.
“See you later, Captain! Enjoy Chopper’s presentation!”
“Shishishishishi! It’s Chopper, so I will!”
Behind her, she could see and hear the pursuing marines stop short as they caught sight of Luffy, feet wide, his laugh echoing through the corridor.
Yes, those marines certainly wouldn’t be troubling her any more.
-
Usopp followed the presence of the marines carefully with his haki, creeping through the ceiling until he got close. It seemed like they’d regrouped outside the door of the room they’d escaped, trapping the rest of the doctors inside. It wasn’t surprising with all the chaos, he supposed.
Well, Chopper’s audience couldn’t be empty. It looked like the brave God Usopp would have to step in after all.
He dropped back through the ceiling, landing in the corridor directly across from the Marines.
“Oi, Marines! I, God Usopp, am here to make you pay! Green Star: Planatus Shuriken!”
The marines all turned to him as one, several falling to the ground as they were hit.
That should do it. Chopper’s audience could get to him now.
As the remaining Marines pursued him, Usopp legged it.
-
Luffy looked around at the unconscious bodies of the marines.
It must be nearly time for Chopper to give his speech, he thought.
Where was it, again?
He stretched out his Observation Haki.
Oh, there!
With a stretch of his arms, he climbed up into the ceiling.
-
It hadn’t taken long for Chopper to get set up in room 2B. While there’d often been presentations going on in multiple rooms at a time – mostly sorted by topics of interest – it seemed like this room hadn’t been used yet today, the schedule earlier in the day being lighter and the later part of the day packed more densely with presentations needing extra rooms. So the room had thankfully been empty when they’d arrived. The marines from the other room hadn’t arrived there yet, either. Hopefully they would stay gone.
“Nervous?” asked Dr Faraday.
“No!” said Chopper. “Maybe. Luffy should be here soon, though...”
“I’m sure he’ll show up,” said Dr Faraday. “But even if it doesn’t, you’ll do great. Aren’t you a Strawhat Pirate?”
“That’s right! And I’m gonna be the best doctor on the sea! No stupid speech can stop me!” He took a deep breath, arranging his materials on the podium, which he’d lowered to nearer the ground. Now that everyone had seen him anyway, he’d decided he might as well give the presentation in Brain Point.
“That’s the spirit,” said Dr Faraday. “You’ve got this!”
“I’ve got this!” said Chopper.
He waited a little while with no one coming, when suddenly there was shouting from somewhere outside.
Suddenly after that the audience started trickling in, most of the people who’d been in the other room choosing to listen, all deeply curious. Oh! Had something been stopping them from coming?
The time ticked closer. Luffy still wasn’t there, but it didn’t matter now. These people were here and they wanted to hear about Chopper’s research. He was a doctor, just like Doctorine and Dr Hiriluk.
Chopper stepped up to the podium.
The door flew open to reveal Dr Footleg and several of the Marines from before, carrying handheld cannons.
“Attack the pirates!” shouted Dr Footleg.
“Hey! There are civilians in here!” said Dr Faraday. “You can’t do that!”
Dr Footleg pointed a cannon directly at her, and fired.
Chopper forgot to breathe.
A ceiling panel fell to the ground.
“Gomu Gomu no Fuusen!”
The cannonballs bounced harmlessly into Luffy’s torso, ricocheting back into the air and away from the crowd.
“Gomu Gomu no Muchi!”
Luffy’s leg whipped out and knocked all the cannons, and the Marines holding them, to the ground.
“Luffy! You’re here!” said Chopper.
“Chopper!” cried Luffy, dusting himself off and hopping onto the stage. “Of course I’m here! I’m not going to miss it! You’re my doctor!”
“Strawhat!” cried Dr Faraday. “Oh my god... I nearly got shot...”
“Strawhat Luffy! Tony Tony Chopper!” shouted the Marine leading the squad, pushing himself up from the floor. “Leave the stage and surrender yourselves to justice!”
“Never!” shouted Luffy.
“Oi, Dr Anthony hasn’t given his speech yet!” shouted someone from the audience.
“Yeah, we wanna hear him present!”
“Who cares if he’s a pirate tanuki? With his technique I can improve the survival rate of my patients by 30%!”
“Hey, I’m not a tanuki, I’m a reindeer!” said Chopper. He looked around at the crowd. Were all these people really here for him?
“Get out of here, you damn Marines! He’s giving his speech whether you want him to or not!”
More marines poured in, but the crowd bunched up, blocking the Marines from getting to the stage, and having quite a bit of success with it too. They may have been doctors, but these were Grand Line doctors, after all.
“Shishishishishi!” Luffy laughed. “Chopper, do your speech thingy! Anyone who wants to stop you can deal with me!”
Well, that was that, then. If Luffy said it would be ok, it would be.
“Hello and welcome to my presentation on The Antibacterial Effects of Compounds Within the Lesser Heartflower, you bastards!” said Chopper. “It doesn’t make me happy at all that you all came! So pay attention!”
A cheer went up. Another marine or two fell to the ground. Luffy’s steady, familiar heart beat out to his left.
Chopper took a breath.
“Alright, everyone! The first thing to note when dealing with the lesser heartflower plant is...”
The presentation went beautifully.