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Jakob watched Freppa who was playing his guitar fully concentrated. It was absolutely amazing to watch him play on stage. Jakob was completely fallen in love with Freppa, but Freppa didn’t recognised it at all. He was completely aware of the fact that somebody might fall in love with him and Jakob knew this. He loved Freppa since they were in first grade together and it was so hard to love him, while is two bandmates and Freppas bandmates found each other.
After the gig, Jakob went backstage as fast as possible just to be near Freppa, who sat on a couch with trip in hand. Määnin and Tommy sat next to him holding hands like usual. Jakob placed himself next to Freppa. „Hi, Freppa, you were absolutely amazing“, Jakob tried to start a conversation. Freppa looked down on his hands and mumbled: „thanks“. He was not able to look up to Jakob, who was used to this. Tommy made a snorting noise. „Oh, you were also very good tonight“, Jakob added which made Tommy smile. Then he tried to talk a little bit more to Freppa, who answered only very short. But today Jakob decided to not give up and try to start a real conversation with Freppa, the boy he loved from the bottom of his heart. After a while Määnin and Tommy started kissing. „Let’s better leave“, Freppa decided and got up. Jakob followed him as fast as possible.
Outside it was dark and cold, but Freppa started to walk down the road. Jakob followed him. He would have followed him everywhere. They walked past the street and into the fields of Maxmo. Soon they reached a bench and Freppa sat down. „Jakob, we need to talk“, he said and looked up to Jakob who nodded. Freppa talking with not being asked something was rare and he didn’t want to ruin this moment. „Jakob, I know you are in love with me. It’s so obvious that even I recognised it. But I need to tell you, that I can’t give you the love you want to have.“ Jakob took a sharp breath. „Stop, let me explain. I am ace. That means I don’t want to be in a sexual relationship. But that doesn’t mean I can’t feel love. I like you very much but I can’t be in a relationship with you like Tommy and Määnin or Kevin and Axel are. It’s just… impossible for me. And I don’t want to make you sad, so it’s better this ends before it got really started.“ Jakob was speechless. He never heard Freppa talk that much and he never knew about Freppas feelings and struggles. He looked to Freppa and saw some tears in the eyes of the taller boy. „Hey, Freps, it’s okay. I… I love you. No matter how our relationship will look like. But I don’t want to live without you“, he told Freppa. „Can I touch you?“, he asked and Freppa nodded. Jakob wrapped his arms around the skinny body next to him. It took a few seconds for Freppa to relax under that touch but then he wrapped his own arms around Jakob and placed a gentle kiss on his head. „I love you, puppy“, he said. „Jag älskar dig, bunny“, Jakob responded.