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“Really William, I brought you up to know better. A historian.” His mother boomed from across the table. He loved his mother, he truly did but sometimes she could irk him beyond belief.
“Victoria is different mother” he pleaded, he didn’t care if she accepted his feelings. The whole things had just slipped out in the middle of their dinner. William’s brother, Peniston, sat with an amused expression plastered on his face. He could never understand, the man was as intelligent as a brick wall.
“I don’t care if she’s queen of England William, she’ll be a bad influence stop your career like her” His mother spat. She’d been over protective since the time of Caroline’s death. She’d seen the heartbreak it had caused him and vowed to stop the same heartbreak happening again.
“Mother!” he called, “She has a name, Caroline, though we weren’t meant for each other; though she may have embarrassed me beyond belief I still loved her.” He finished. He left the house before anymore could said.
--
He slammed his door shut as he entered his own home. His keys clattering onto a side table and his phone following it closely. He was about to remove his jacket when he heard the familiar ringtone cascade itself around the room.
He answered the phone, when would he not? He always had time to speak to her, to hear her tales. No matter what mood he was in or where he was. He would always answer her call.
“I had a thought, a peculiar one but one nonetheless” she beamed through the phone. He allowed himself to smile, to grin as wide as he could as he heard her voice.
“What was that thought ma’am?” He quizzed her. It was always back and forth with those two. Always questions that lead nowhere and everywhere at the same time. Something he found exhilarating.
“Soulmates, I consulted all the history books. Those things have been myths since the medieval times.” She replied, he could distinctly hear the rustling of papers down the phone. She was pulling an all-nighter again. He hated when she did that, when she left little time for herself to rest properly.
“I, for one, believe the myth to be true. In some ways. I feel it gives us all hope. Ones words can be seen by another who will cherish them as much as they have.” He commented. He was sure it made no sense but he was tired and the effects of running about the council office and speaking to other local MP’s had taken its toll on him.
“I suppose it would be fun. Hold on, I’m going to test something.” She smiled, he could picture it. A joyous smile that stretched across her face like the Cheshire cat. She was always so bubbly when they spoke to each other. When they ate at the small pub down the road from the council block.
The click of a pen lid made him jolt as he sat on his red armchair. Its soft material making him sink. He had wished he’d used this time to change into his dressing gown and lazy pyjamas. He felt like an old man when he wore the combination topped off with his black slippers.
“There” she laughed slightly, “I’m testing the myth….out of curiosity do you want to take a guess at what it says.”
He felt the pinprick on his arm, the infamous irritation that alerted him. He had never once lied to Victoria, he wouldn’t dream of doing such a thing. Not to her. Anyone else but her. He would lie to his constituency a billion times over before her. He fumbled around silently ridding himself of his jacket and rolling his sleeve.
He could hear her on the phone, the anticipation of the response that she hoped for. He’d known for some time now, since they first met, when he had seen her arm full of historical facts that were on his arm as well.
It was difficult to explain said phenomenon to Emma whose curiosity could fuel the whole of England. He remembered the time she had seen his own name on his arm. His excuse was unforgettable as he told her he was ‘feeling particularly narcissistic’.
“Well?” She asked through the phone. She was so loud that he thought she was actually in the same room as him. He wished she was as he looked at his arm.
‘Please be right’ he read. His smile grew again as he rested the phone on his shoulder and thumbed the ink.
“Hmm, perhaps a classic. One day we’ll meet” he responded as seriously as he could.
“No, but close I guess” she smiled. “I actually wrote, John Conroy is an odious creature”
A lie they both knew. He went along with it, his courage failing him. He could have told her but his mother’s words weighed heavily on him. It wasn’t the fear of his career not going somewhere but the fear of Victoria’s. He wanted her to be happy, to have a prosperous career but he thought about his involvement. He was plagued by the scandals of his past, most he was innocent of but some he wasn’t.
“I fear, ma’am, that I cannot make our scheduled meeting tomorrow.” He attempted to gather distance from her. He needed to gather his own thoughts. He couldn’t if all he could think about was Victoria.
“Why ever not?” she panicked “Have I done something to offend you?”
“No of course not, nothing you do could offend me ma’am.” He answered as quickly as possible, or maybe a little too quickly he thought. “I just have so much work to do that I need to focus on that solely. I can’t if I spend all my time talking about myths, which should probably remain forgotten, without any solid evidence, the whole myth is ridiculous. You should retire ma’am”
“I see” she commented, the dull tone on notified him that she had hung up. Was she mad, upset? His phone fell onto the floor, he hadn’t the energy to pick it up as he stared in front of him.
What have I done he thought, his question going unanswered as he let silence surround him. A thick heavy silence that threatened to suffocate him.
--
The next morning, he had decided, he would go to Victoria’s office; a small room at the end of a long corridor full of weird historical trinkets that made him smile whenever he heard Victoria speak about them.
There was no response as he knocked on the door, he waited outside for the best half of a day. He wondered if she was ever going to turn up. Was what he said so bad? Maybe this was a sign. A cruel one.
“William?” A voice called to him, he looked up instantly getting to his feet. “What are you doing here?”
“I was…well I wanted to visit Victoria” he answered, he looked at Emma. She was holding a two coffees in her hand. She gave him a small smile before nodding to her office.
“You best come with me then, I think you have some apologising to do. Messing with a girls heart like that shame on you William. You should know better than anyone how fragile she can be” Emma sighed as she walked in to her office. Emma worked in the same building as Victoria, but she handled the affairs of banks. She’d always been good with money and people.
He’d overreacted, said something stupid that he didn’t mean. He could normally keep his calm, it was why he was a politician. He could remain polite, unmoved in any situation but with Victoria it was different. He was cautious, he was nervous. He was a mess.
“I just wished it could be different. He is a man unlike any I have ever met. Now I feel I have l lost him. He wishes not to see me, it’s my fault.” She cried out, he recognised the voice, a voice that would give him pleasure to hear but now it was giving him distress. Panic.
“I’m sure he’s just being hormonal. Men can get that way sometimes, and William is one to seclude himself when facing a trouble.” Emma said, Victoria held her head in her hands as Emma nodded to him and then to Victoria. A stern look told him that he should really interrupt.
“I’m not sure anyone will want me” she cried out and he felt guilt tug at his chest. He was a scared for the first time in his entire life. He was scared that he was breaking the girl’s heart and he could do something to stop it.
It felt familiar to him, like it had been done before. Like he had been in this same position as his dull green eyes looked at her. He wanted to hear her laugh, hear her passion for history. For Queen Victoria.
He felt around his pockets before hitting the solid plastic. He removed it from its polyester confinement and lifted the lid as quiet as possible. He lifted his left jacket sleeve along with his shirt sleeve. His skin appearing under the black biro, he inhaled deeply as he scrawled the words he wished to say out loud.
‘Anyone would be a fool to turn you away ma’am’’ He finished, the pen lid being clicked firmly into place and shoved into his suit trouser pocket.
He watched as Victoria lowered her left arm, pulled her woollen sleeve up slowly and blinked at the words. Her blue eyes looking towards Emma quizzically, only to see Emma staring with a smile behind her.
It felt like forever as she turned in her chair, her eyes clamping on William who gave a soft smile that may have been her imagination.
“W-What are you doing here?” she inquired, he’d been asked that question so many times that he wanted to get a picture framed and hung in his office. It would brighten up the grey office.
“I’ll leave you two to talk” Emma interrupted before he could respond. He moved to the side and allowed her to exit. The door being firmly closed. Tell her, he heard. The voice seemingly sounding like his own voice but much older, more regretful. Do what I couldn’t. He heard again.
“I was told when I was younger that, Lord Melbourne died not knowing his soulmate. Or that’s what most people think. I believe, I know, that he knew; but given the inclination he was in with her, they could never be. She was the Queen and he was merely her prime minister.” He began pausing as he gathered his thoughts.
“Victoria, Queen Victoria was his soulmate” she whispered. He nodded.
“It was said that in his last moments he wrote five words, although the last being unfinished as he died. He wanted to tell her the words they both wanted to hear but he couldn’t because he knew that his involvement in her life, being a romantic one, would ruin her reign. She wanted to be great and he wanted her to be but he couldn’t be with her and help her succeed so he sacrificed his happiness to helping her achieve hers. Now his actions may not have helped in the end when he wrote those words but, you see ma’am. I feel just like that. I could ruin your career. That is why I told you last night. That I could not see you. I wanted you to have the chance Lord M gave the Queen.” William admitted.
“I didn’t want that chance. I just wanted you” she uttered.
“That’s the thing though, ma’am, to have me would mean to have the scandals, the ridicule. The mess that I have created in my life. I would tarnish your name just from the association. You would become like me and like Lord Melbourne.” William confessed, he walked towards her and crouched in front of her.
“It’s not the Victorian era anymore. Times have changed and so must you” she smiled at him. A dignified grace filling her as he scanned her face. He couldn’t tell anymore whether he was talking to the historian. Or whether he was talking to the Queen he had always seen her as.
“I know ma’am, a soulmate is like a rook…” he paused. He knew how to finish the sentence but he couldn’t bring himself to say it. To imagine the two separate paths their relationship could take.
“They mate for life, I know. I will always treasure our love. For it is truly the greatest of all” she smiled at him.
He gave her a warm smile back as his hand removed the pen from his pocket. He slowly lifted her arm and pulled the sleeve back. This time he didn’t need to write the words on his arm. He would do what Lord Melbourne couldn’t do.
“I love you ma’am” he said placing her arm down. He rose to place a soft kiss on her lips before standing. His hand held out to her.
“And I you, my lord M” she replied as she slipped her small hand into his and stood with him.