Chapter Text
When victoria wakes up, she feels like she’s in the middle of the sun. Her eyes feel glued shut with exhaustion, her sheets are damp with sweat. Lava courses through her veins as she uses the very small energy she’s got to push up and out of bed. She looks at her digital clock as she swings her feet off the side of the mattress.
4:37 am
Still half an hour before her alarm sounds. She sighs before trudging her way to the kitchen. She can feel every thread in her carpet and every crack in the wood of the floor as she makes her way downstairs. Her stomach rumbles aggressively, compelling her to move towards the fridge. The door opens and the light is blinding in the darkness of her house, she waits for her eyes to adjust, scanning the relatively well stocked shelves.
Milk, apples, various vegetables, along with different yoghurts and protein drinks. Victoria has never felt more resentful that her parents were pescatarian.
Usually this wouldn’t be an issue, but she also wasn’t usually this ravenous.
She moves on autopilot as she heads upstairs, getting dressed in scrubs and packing her stethoscope in her bag before slinging it over her back. She groans as she tries to tamp down her cravings for something meaty, maybe a greasy burger or 10.
She makes the executive decision to head to a diner thats near the hospital, she’s heard her coworkers raving about how good it is to have something heavy after a long shift, a specific doctors voice settling in the back of her mind “i love that place but i can always feel the grease of my hands for days after.” To javadi, that sounds perfect.
Her movements are lethargic yet her limbs are jittery as she walks down the street on high alert. Hyper aware of the darkness of early morning.
She decides against the bus, the noises of people chatting away and the whirr of the engine are too much for her right now. Instead, she just continues walking.
Her legs carry her through the city, as she draws closer to the old-style diner. Its a walk that would usually take at least 45 minutes and end with her feet aching and a sheen of sweat on her skin, but she finds herself pushing through the door in a measly 20 minutes. The smell that greets her is unfamiliar but makes her mouth water, the heady smell of patties cooked in far too much oil and burnt drip coffee.
Her mother would have her head if she found out Victoria ever even step foot in a place like this. It was ‘below her’.
She finds a stool at the counter, reading through the menu, her eyes immediately drawn to the triple cheeseburger. She feels absolutely ravenous and this is Fucking perfect.
When she places her order, the waitress looks at her a little strangely, victoria bristles in preparation for what she knows is coming.
“thats a lot of food for a young girl like you, no?”
Victoria sighs, “im twenty, and starving. Ive got a twelve hour shift later and i NEED sustenance.” Her voice comes out irregularly snappy. “Im sorry, long night”
The waitress nods in understanding, “you a doctor?”
Javadi nods.
“Then consider it on the house, ill get that right out for ya.”
Victoria places her head in her hands, her senses feel overwhelmed, she can hear the buzzing of the lights and the chatter of the kitchen staff. She groans to herself, her stomach is still growling at her, practically begging for food.
It takes 4 minutes and 23 agonising seconds before her burger is placed in front of her in one of the those plastic mesh bowls with the checked paper. Javadi picks it up immediately and scoffs down half of it in record time, practically moaning at the taste.
The waitress lets out a chuckle, watching this young doctor absolutely devour the largest item on their menu.
Javadi looks up in embarrassment, forgetting where she was. She swallows harshly and gives a small smile. “Thank you, you’re a goddess”
“Dont sweat it doc. Enjoy.”
The waitress smiles and her eyes crinkle at the corners, its reminds javadi of her favourite senior resident. victoria feels her chest tighten a little.
When she finishes her food, she feels way better, her limbs feel less like there are bees beneath her skin and her stomach feels significantly less empty.
She leaves a twenty on the counter, as a tip for her saviour of a waitress, and heads out the door.
The time reads 5:22am when she checks her phone, so she decides to head into work early.
The hospital is only 2 blocks away from where her she had her impromptu breakfast.
When she walks in she’s met with the unique and familiar buzz of chaos that only the PTMC ER can create. She spots the familiar faces of Dr. Abbott and Mateo the moment she steps onto the pitt. Mateo walks over with a smile on his face.
“Hey tori, You’re earlier than usual today.” He crosses his arms over his chest and tilts his head.
Victoria remembers her first day, where she was giggling like a child at this man, making a fool of herself before coming to her senses a mere 2 days later. Her attraction to him being short lived.
She mentally cringes at her past self and offers him a friendly smile “yeah, woke up way before my alarm, ate dinner for breakfast and decided to come here instead of aimlessly wondering”
Mateo chuckles, shes glad that they can still be friendly. “Sounds like one hell of a night huh?”
Victoria tries to think back to the events of her shift yesterday. And comes up blank. “Y’know.. i don’t actually remember what happened.” She tilts her head up to the ceiling in thought. “I remember walking home but, nothing after that. I dont even know how i got into bed”
Her is head beginning to hurt the more she tries to rummage in her brain. It should be concerning, but she finds her thoughts are moving to fast for her to care all that much. Dr abbott walks over and whistles, “drinking on a work night Dr. Javadi? I would hate to tell robby that you’re hungover” he smirks at her, mocking.
“Where is the Tori i know and what have you done with her” Mateo says, clearly shocked at the prospect of her even drinking.
Javadi sputters, trying to defend herself.
“Wh-what? No i wouldn’t- I wouldn’t drink. Especially on a work night, im not even old enough to-“
Abbott pats her shoulder, a gentle interruptionto her rambling. “don’t sweat it. Since you’re here though, why don’t you go put your stuff away and come help prep for handovers.”
Javadi nods, rushing towards the lockers and grabbing her stethoscope before shoving her bag in there and making her way back into central, bouncing on her feet with far too much energy for 5:30am, ready to help.
Dana shows up a short while later, followed by Mohan and Robby.
Dana shoots her a look as she settles behind her desk, “well hello early bird, you’re the first person to beat me here in months”
Javadi ducks her head and chuckles, going back to charting. As the minutes go by more of the Pittlings arrive. The day begins with its consistent fast pace. But victoria cant help but feel like time is moving so unbelievably slow.
She can sense it before she sees Dr. Mckay walk through the doors. Her senses picking up when the resident walks past her, the smell of her filling her nose, way stronger than usual. Victoria spins around, mouth moving before she can even think.
“Are you wearing cologne?” She asks. Shutting her mouth with a click as immediate regret fills her system. God she must sound like a creep.
Cassie’s eyebrows raise, “How-“ she pauses, her lips ticking up. “Well someone’s got a strong nose, you smell me often, Javadi?”
Victoria flushes, “No! No, i just, you smell different is all, i couldnt help but notice- it smells nice, but y’know. I dont like, sniff you or anything that’d be- that’d be weird..” she tries to cut herself off before it’s too late, but she’s already dug herself into a hole. She can feel her skin heating up, sweat beading on the back of her neck. Fuck shes a total creep.
McKay just chuckles, “well thanks, i think.” She says, before walking off towards the lockers.
Javadi sighs, her chest tightening and mind racing. God she’s so embarrassed.
A whistle comes from beside her, and her shoulders tense, “damn crash, you got the hots for teacher?”
Javadi groans. Spinning in her chair to face santos before burying her head in her hands, pressing her palms to her eyes. “Kill me now.”
Santos laughs mocking and places a hand on her shoulder, “no can do, Dr. J. Your fans would miss you”
Victoria groans even louder.
“I regret ever telling you about that.”
Santos smirks triumphantly.
This is going to be a long fucking day.
—————————————————————
By hour 4 of her shift, javadi is certain she might be losing it.
She thought she was feeling more normal after this morning, but her brain keeps telling her to move move move. As much pressure that is put on her in her life she doesn’t think she’s ever been this productive before, she feels like she’s done enough lines of cocaine to shock Pablo Escobar and her body shows no signs of slowing down.
People start noticing, Dana cornering her to ask if she’s doing alright, but the conversation lasted for a full 8 seconds of victoria rambling about being perfectly ok just having a weird day before rushing to pick up a new patient who was brought in by ambulance.
She just needed to move. Its not all bad, however, she’s completing complex procedures with the speed of a seasoned surgeon and treating people with rapid efficiency.
Dr Robby eyes her throughout, offering her praise and nods of approval.
She’s acting different, shes aware of that. But it doesn’t occur to her how she might come across to the others.
On hour 5, she gets paired with mckay for triage. And she’s glad, because its easy to rapidly get through the patients with minor injuries. She completes 3 sutures, treats 2 people with broken bones, running through after care instructions by talking at whirlwind speeds.
Every time she does good, Mckay offers her words of appraisal, and Victoria’s chest warms with pride, she practically preens whenever Cassie says she’s done amazing work. But as time goes by, the touches that shoot heat through her veins and the words that cause her to grin stupidly are slowing down.
Cassie Mckay finds herself watching the student doctor with something bordering on concern. She knows that javadi is a prodigy, but after months of working with her, she’s never seen her quite like this.
It reminds cassie of her younger years, and that shoots a pang of worry through her body. Its unlikely- absurd even- that victoria javadi would be on drugs. Cassie would like to believe that she knows the girl well enough, and the thought of even touching drugs would make javadi so nervous she would probably break down. But she cant seem to shake the feeling.
Cassie decides to keep a close eye on her, noting every possible symptom. The sweating, the fast talking, jittery movements and unusual jumpiness. All tell tale signs, but Mckay cant put her finger on what she could possibly be taking.
Javadi’s pupils are unusually wide, whereas most stimulants make them practically pin-pricks. Along with the fact that this energy has lasted the entire day so far but she hasn’t seen Victoria take a single bathroom break. Which is concerning on its own.
By some miracle, theres a lull in the ER, nobody voices it, in fear of jinxing it and disrupting the rare peace that they get.
Both Javadi and Mckay head to centre and begin charting, javadi sits down and immediately groans. “Fuck- im starving..”
Whitaker stares at her, “didnt you say you had a triple cheeseburger this morning? Ive also seen you devouring protein bars like its nobodies business.”
McKays eyebrows shoot up. Dana chuckles, “im not surprised, with the way you’ve been moving today I’m shocked you haven’t collapsed yet.” She chucks over a footlong stick of beef jerky she pulled from thin air. Victoria catches it with a smile, before digging in.
She has never loved dana more.
The jerky is gone in 4 seconds flat, and the people surrounding her eye her with a mix of astonishment and concern, but she pays little attention to it, finger moving rapidly across the keyboard as her leg bounces. She has got to keep moving otherwise she might explode.
“Thank god its slowed down.”
Victoria pauses, groaning, as the centre erupts in ‘no’s!’ And ‘ogilvie why the fuck would you say that.’
Ogilvie puts his hands up, confused. “What did i do?”
“You’ve doomed us evil whitaker. You’ve doomed us.” Javadi snaps. Glaring at him.
Ogilvie stares back, slightly hurt, muttering under his breath. ‘Evil whitaker..?’
As concerned as Mckay is at the unusual outburst, she cant hep but chuckle, watching in amusement as Ogilvie walks away with his tail between his legs.
“Dana do you have any more of that jerky?”
Dana guffaws, “who do you think i am?… of course i do”
Victoria lights up, “i literally love you. you’re an angel.”
The blonder chucks over another beef jerky stick before running off to catch the new nurse, emma as she walks past.
Something hot and sharp stirs in McKays chest as she watched their interaction. “I thought you were pesco?”
Javadi looks up at her with those big doe eyes of hers, McKay notes they look extra golden brown today, “thats mostly an involuntary diet. Due to Dr. Shamsi herself. Plus, today i woke up and felt like my stomach was literally going to digest itself if i didn’t eat something meaty.”
McKay answers that with a simple ‘huh’ before pursing her lips and deciding to just ask, she walks close to Javadi and sets a hand on the bare part of her arm. Taking note of how irregularly warm her skin is.
“Hey, ‘vadi.. are- are you feeling okay today?”
Javadi tilts her head, resembling a deer as she blinks up at Cassie. “Uhm- yeah, why? Did i do something?”
“No, no. You’re on fire today, honestly doing amazing.. but-“ cassie moves her hand to press it against Victoria’s forehead. “You feel like you’re burning up.. are you sure you aren’t ill?”
Victorias eyes fill with something McKay cant decipher as her mouth opens to answer, the slowest she’s responded to anything all day.
She’s about to speak before EMT’s come rushing in, their small moment of peace within the walls of the ER instantly bursting into chaos.
“29 year old male, it seems like he was attacked by some sort of animal, unconscious but responsive to pain. Deep lacerations on torso and arms. 3 more like this on their way.” The paramedics voices are rushed, and everyone kicks into high gear.
As they moves rapidly, gloving up to provide the best care they can, McKay notes that Javadi pauses at the bedside of one of the patients, emotions flickering behind her eyes. She can note a sense of recognition maybe, but theres something else there, something a bit deeper.
She doesn’t get time to dwell on it before Javadi gets back into motion and they are all thrown headfirst into the fray.
McKay hears a soft “fucking ogilvie.” From whitaker, and she huffs in agreement.