Chapter Text
"jungkook-ah?"
taehyung rapped lightly on the bedroom door, slinging his backpack over his shoulder with the other hand. he fished into his sweatpant pocket and plucked out his iphone, immediately pulling up the call log. the mansion was diffused in darkness, resembling something akin to a permanent silhouette courtesy to the dark grey walls and raven coloured blinds. the air was thick with notes of citrus and bamboo, the incense jungkook perpetually banked on.
taehyung knocked again, a frown flashing across his features, barely disguising the sudden tug of apprehension.
"jungkookie? open up, will you?"
no sooner did he dial his number than the door heaved open, albeit much too weakly, a quarter of it; an inked hand keeping it ajar, arresting the swing. a flush of warm light pooled into the hallway and into taehyung's eyes, making him squirm on his feet.
jungkook disappeared behind the door and taehyung soon followed, clutching on to the straps of his backpack.
"didn't we tell you to never lock the door when you are drunk?"
jungkook padded back to his rumpled mess of a bed and shimmied under the covers.
"yah, is this how you behave with your elders?" taehyung stood against the outer frame of the bed, hands planted at the waist, chin jutting out, skin itching to pull back the duvet and interrogate the source of his ultimate distress.
"hyung."
taehyung doubles down at the soft, throaty sound muffled by layers of cotton. he walks toward jungkook's side of the bed and squats by, what he assumes, is his head.
"jungkook-ah, show me your face", he demands.
there is a brief pause, then, a dark head sneaks out of the cover, hair a disheveled ordeal, bangs matted on the forehead haphazardly. jungkook keeps his eyes shut and shoves half of his face into the pillow, grumbling and moaning. taehyung watches in awe.
"i am not drunk, hyung." jungkook mumbles into the cushiony weight under him.
"then how come you didn't make it to practice?" taehyung rises up with a hiss, knees cracking and huddles in a vacant spot next to jungkook's chest, hidden by his arms upturned into it.
"i was hungover", jungkook says and squints up at taehyung. his nose is scrunched and cheeks are covered in a faint pink hue.
without any preamble, taehyung pushes his left hand into jungkook's hair and cards through it, tugging lightly at the roots to expel tension. jungkook sighs and licks his chapped lips.
"you look hungover, jungkook-ah."
"i do not."
"then get up and do a three-sixty spin for me."
"we are not in the military hyung, not anymore." he complains and turns to lie down on his back, torso covered in a black button down.
"let me go fetch you a glass of water", taehyung adds and begins to move when a hand shoots out to grab at his wrist. jungkook looks at him with a sharpness and an urgency he doesn't fully understand.
"i am alright. really."
"hyungs are worried about you. namjoon-hyung is probably throwing a fit somewhere." jungkook shrinks within himself and exhales breathily.
"i don't understand why it is a big deal. i asked them to delete the live. it is done. everything is back to how it always was, always has been."
"jungkook-
"did you come here straight from the studio? you are still wearing choreo clothes." jungkook trying to steer the course of the conversation in his direction wasn't lost on taehyung but he begrudingly complied enough to play the fool.
"yes, i did. the security let me in since you were awol. no sight of your buddies though."
"they left around noon, i am not sure." jungkook yawned and melted furthur into the mattress. faint shadows sat under his eyes, eyes that were bloodshot and inarguably puffy, wringing out an unmistakable jerk in taehyung's chest.
"did you, uh, talk to her?" jungkook peered at taehyung, teeth digging into his lower lip.
"she has probably flagged me on all socials." he snickered then, a mirthless laughter borne of trepidation and guilt. taehyung shook his head, wisps of hair masking his eyes, as if to create a digestible distance between the two of them.
"let me talk to her. i think i have her digits somewhere in my log, i will tell her-
"hyung, no."
"jungkook-ah let me-
"it really has nothing to do with you, taehyungie-hyung. besides, i am pretty sure she is done with me."
"this is the real world, jungkook. she has to understand where you are coming from-
"it's been going on for a long time, hyung." jungkook says, voice laced with dejection, scratchy from alcohol and sleep.
taehyung knew better than to comment on jungkook's romantic pursuits just as he knew better than to divulge his own, let alone pass cursory judgment. all seven of them lived a life almost entirely elusive to normalcy, punctuated with an air of grotesque finality, riddled indelibly into their actions and non actions. he hadn't seen the live, preoccupied with tasks that summoned his urgent perusal. it wasn't until the morning when he sauntered, unperturbed, into the studio and caught wind of the news coupled with the strange anxiety on the members' faces and an evident absence of jungkook that he understood the weight of the matter.
"what is?" taehyung questioned timidly, scratching at his chin, eyes downcast but effectively latched to the grip jungkook had on the bedsheet.
"this push and pull. this give and take. the constant need to understand, to expect the other person to understand, to hurt and be hurt, trying to meet in the middle when there never really is much ground left to cover. and i do, hyung, i do want to stand up for her because it means standing up for myself but it is a weak argument, isn't it, since i am here, so much furthur from the reality i had once envisioned for the both of us." jungkook sniffles and flicks his fingers across his nose, eyes squeezed shut, lashes fluttering against the balls of his cheeks.
taehyung enclosed his right palm over jungkook's, in an effort to smoothen out the hold he hand on the bed and extend some semblance of solidarity since he wasn't good with words, even more so around the younger, the reason for which he was yet to unravel.
"jungkook-ah, you are the bravest amongst us all, you know that, right?"
"hyung, you don't-
"i do. you need to hear it from someone who's known you half of your life. we have all had our numerous engagements, in various clandestine corners of the world. everytime we were in it, it was addictive, unfathomably real but that doesn't mean we weren't teetering on the edge. and we fell, all of us did. you, however, have had a hold on this unlike any of us. you made it seem easy. i, fuck, i was jealous of what you were capable of. your desire to come clean about everything is just the next layer to how thick your resolve is. and if it is not her, then it is going to be somebody else who will have the sheer luck of being graced with your strength."
taehyung hadn't meant to go overboard with his words but upon witnessing the warmth in jungkook's eyes with a tinge of bewilderment made him stay put. he stroked his thumb carefully against jungkook's knuckles and returned his stare from under his lashes.
"you know you can crash here if you want, hyung." jungkook mumbled, eyes glistening from unshed tears.
"aaah, it is okay, jungkookie. i don't mean to be a nuisance."
"you always are." taehyung punched his chest and jungkook giggled, face contorting into part pain, part delight.
"just stay, taehyungie-hyung."
"on the promise that you deposit your ass in the choreo chair first thing in the morning."
"i shall."
taehyung rose from the bed and stretched, bones cracking in the wake, barely stifling a full bodied yawn.
"i will go crash in the guest bedroom, the one jin-hyung often stays in. its got a bigger mattress." taehyung announces and stuffs his hands back into the pockets of his sweatpants, now facing jungkook sitting up against the headrest.
"you can sleep here too. i don't bite." taehyung laughed and ruffled jungkook's hair.
"we aren't kids jungkookie."
"you stayed here the last time we got drunk, remember?" jungkook pulled a pillow from the side and launched it at taehyung, mouth suspended in a questionable pout. taehyung smiled.
"and you found yourself on the floor-
"hyung, stay." taehyung stilled at the intensity in jungkook's voice. he wagered jungkook didn't want to be alone, what with the nefarious media lounging around, sniffing out his next move.
"okay."
the lights were promptly drowned out and only when taehyung settled into the bed did he acknowledge the stab of exhaustion in his body. jungkook moved next to him in a restless non-commital state for a while, then stopped.
"hyung?"
"yeah?" taehyung said, eyes closed, already fishing out the kaleidoscopic patterns behind his lids.
"how is hae-soo noona?" jungkook whispered into the somnolent cusp of the night. taehyung sighed.
"good, she is good." he said.
"oh, that is nice to know."
"she asks about you all a lot. wants to get together sometime." taehyung stared at the ceiling, an opaque rectangular shape.
"would be nice to hang out, i guess, all of us."
"yeah."
jungkook didn't say anything more, taehyung concluded it as the end of the day and curled inward, toward the vibrating warmth to his left. hours into the night, taehyung's face finds recluse in the soft curve of a nape and shoulder, right arm wrapped gently around a torso while the other body dozes, snoring lightly, inked hand holding taehyung's arm in place.