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English
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Part 3 of Legatus Fabius
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Published:
2026-04-02
Words:
439
Chapters:
1/1
Kudos:
2
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26

A Completely Typical Roman Family Dispute

Summary:

As the Legate and his party are about to flee Rome, he has one final meeting with Scaevola and his sister.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Liviana shakes out her hand as she takes in the three idiots currently on the pavement around her.

The first idiot was her dear, beloved husband; the quietest and most stationary of the three. Despite being a man of incredible kindness, who has done nothing but love and provide for her, Scaevola was not the smartest man she knew. Far too trusting in others, he likely never even considered that her brother might sucker punch him.

Said brother was idiot number two, currently groaning and slowly trying to get up while lying face first on the ground. With both hands clutching his gut, it was turning into a rather pathetic impersonation of a worm. She had hoped that Gaius would eventually calm down as it became clear that Lurco was the one controlling the family while keeping Scaevola sidelined. For the briefest of moments, she actually thought her repeated demands of “Stop threatening my husband!” had finally penetrated his thick skull. Such hopes were dashed when she noticed the smirk hiding in his eyes as he reached out to shake her husband’s hand. Considering the inherent stubbornness of her family, she should’ve known her message would only be effectively delivered through a strong fist to the solar plexus.

Julia Calida was the third idiot, rolling on the ground and laughing hysterically next to Gaius. Occasional ‘I told you so’s’ managed to come out during the brief moments when she regained the ability to breathe. In all honesty, calling her an idiot was unfair. As Liviana calmed down, she truly knew her sister-in-law was a smart and wonderful woman. In fact, the only reason she had to doubt the woman’s intelligence was her marriage to idiot number two beside her.

Having eventually moved his way up to a stance somewhere between kneeling and lying prone, Gaius slowly rolled his head until it was facing Julia. “Aren’t you going to defend your husband too?”, Gaius forced out with some effort.

Julia moved her way over until she was kneeling over her husband. “I would Lover Boy,” she said, “but I like your sister entirely too much to hit her. Ooh, tell you what; her hair looks nice, I bet she spent all morning getting it pinned up. I could pull out her hair sticks and ruin her hair a bit! I bet that would really teach her!”

With no retribution on his attacker coming, Gaius’s will finally gave out and he collapsed onto his side. “I hate you” he said through clenched teeth.
Julia just reached down and mussed his hair. “Aww”, she said ever so sweetly, “love you too darling.”

Notes:

This was supposed to be a 5+1 sorta thing about Scaevola's encounters with the Legate throughout the game. But when I wrote up the rough draft, I realized the "bonus" chapter was longer than the other 5 chapters combined and I didn't have much creative juice left to add to them. So this is what we got.

Probably my last work in the series. I haven't play Expeditions in a few years and nothing else is really rattling in my head demanding I make it my personal canon. I hope you guys enjoyed it all!

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