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The first time Harrison can recall his fathers touch lingering was in the cabin in Iron Lake.
It didn’t seem that hard to take care of but Dexter insisted on helping him change his bandage on his stomach. Harrison was happy to have his dad take care of him, needing him and him being there. He felt his heart quicken with his father’s intense stare and the sudden light grip on his thigh. Not pressing or moving, still and steady, heat bleeding from his palm onto his skin through the denim. He chalked it up to not knowing what a relationship with him entails and, his father being worried at the sight of his wound.
Then it happened again.
It was the conversation he was dying to have with him, finally learning the truth, finally connecting with him. The grip on his shoulder was warm and welcomed, Harrison beaming at his father. Then Dexter's hand traveled down his back and didn’t leave his body until it was on his lower back right above his ass for a couple of long breaths. He didn’t think much of it at the time, he was so excited to bond with his father that any sign of love he absorbed.
Again.
It was supposed to be a quick hug. After Kurt, after everything, they blended into a balanced routine that was normal. They say hello and goodbye with quick hugs. Attention and touch Harrison craved since he was 5, not knowing that their hug at the bus stop would have been their last. This hug this random average morning felt… intense. Dexter’s grip was tight and held him longer, taking a deep breath, inhaling his scent. When they broke Harrison smiled. Dexter’s hands fell along the back on his son, caressing down to fall onto his hips, holding them. Harrison’s breath catches while his heart jumps, right when the second it would be appropriate for him to squirm away, his father lets go. Acting like everything was normal, maybe because it was.
And again.
Light brushes against his lower back as his father passes behind him became normal. Almost expected. Harrison caught himself smiling at the new routine, any attention his father gave him made him happy to be here.
The light pats on his ass made him hesitate. While he is prepping food, washing the dishes or standing to get his coat on. It was normal right? He smacked the asses of his friends on the team. Is that what this is, playful banter? His father is older than him, he knows better than him, so he follows his lead and lets his father do as he wishes. Even if it twists his gut to feel sour.
The time it all came together they were in the truck.
They made a quick trip to the 24/7 market in Moose Creek to pick up groceries. Dexter parked the truck outside of the cabin, Harrison moved to get out but was stopped by his father’s grip on his knee.
“I wanted to talk to you about something.”
Harrison looks at him, confused. No alarm bells, yet.
Dexter’s hand travels slowly up to grab Harrison’s thigh, close to his knee, nothing dangerous. Innocent. Innocent makes Harrison nauseous.
“I’m thinking about moving.” Dexter’s gaze drops to Harrison’s lips. “Somewhere warmer.”
“Why? I just got here. I feel like I finally fit in.”
“I know. You’ve done a great job but imagine how great a fresh start would feel.” Dexter's hand slides further up Harrison’s thigh. Sinking further between his legs. Not so innocent. “We can’t be ourselves here. We can’t do what we do.”
Harrison’s eyes are locked on his father’s hand, inching closer and closer to…
Dexter grabs Harrison’s clothed crotch tightly, making Harrison gasp. Harrison quickly goes to grab his father’s wrist. He wants to pull him off. He wants to throw his hand back in his face, he wants to hit him, he wants to yell. Instead, he’s frozen in place.
“Dad…”
“Shh. It’s okay. Daddy’s here, I’ve got you.”
Harrison doesn’t really remember much of the experience. Just remembers his father cleaning his spent cock of cum and his penis feeling raw.
He tucks himself back in his pants and carries in the groceries.
The touches get worse. Harrison doesn’t know how to say no to his father. He doesn’t want to live on the streets again.
Is this what he has to endure? Maybe that’s what love is, endurance.