Chapter Text
Jane 😘
Do you remember what we talked about last weekend
Yes.
I think i want to go through with it
Okay. I won’t be available for most of today because of the shoot. But let’s call tonight and you can tell me how it went.
No good luck kiss for me??
I love you. I’m not actually going to kiss my phone.
😢
Just pretend I did.
If is not real the magic will not work
https://time.com/4908654/cell-phone-bacteria/
Some light breakfast reading i see 😏 are you wearing your glasses
I’ll talk to you later.
Bye bye
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😍😘🥵
Marley 😩
Hey sexy when are you in Canada next
Why baby, you looking for a good time?
And I’m not planning on it until we play you again
So like a month I think
Hm want to ft then? I have news
You’re pregnant ???
Lol you wish you could baby trap this ass
No its about Jane
Oh shit yeah call me rn
Lets do video chat i want to see your face 🫦
Lmao needy much
[Video call 11:04]
You are such an idiot 🤣
Not a joke Marley i am in love with him
Look man IDC that Jane is a dude!!! Congrats on being bisexual and everything. Just don’t let Hollander hear you say any of that on the ice because he’ll actually fight you
I’d love to meet your Montreal boy after the next time we play tho. We should all go out for drinks
What’s your guy’s actual name BTW
Shane Hollander captain of the Montreal Metros
🤣🤣🤣
[Contact: Jane 😘]
Text him for yourself Marley he will tell you
Ok is this number Jane’s or Hollander’s? I don’t want to piss that guy off, I play him in a week
Is both
Same number
Same person
Same ass i have been chasing for 8 yrs
All Hollander
Always been him
You’re a dog Roz 🤣
Woof woof
Bood 🔥🥩🍖
You asked me last week if i am taken
Yeah man
Change your mind about the yoga instructor? Still got her number for you
No but thank you
I came to say I am taken 😏 and you will be very surprised to know by who
Oh so I know her? Youve got me curious man spill
Shane Hollander
Surprised, no?
Uhh yeah thats one way to describe it
Are you test running a chirp?
Because if so it needs some work
This is not a chirp. Is real
You two dont hate each other anymore I get that
I dont think I understand this though
We never hated each other, that is just a game for the cameras
Yes our rivalry was real but not in that way
We just love to play against each other
And also we are lovers 😘 but he does not like this word so he says boyfriends instead
Are you day drinking?
Hayes 😏
Im in love with Shane Hollander
Ahh you got a man crush?
No I Have A Boyfriend
Lol ok dude whatever you say
We Are Dating
I thought he was with Rose Landry
Delete my number from your contacts and never text me again
Haasy (child)
Hello Haasy i have a question
hi!!!! omg ask anything
Shane Hollander
is that your question bc the answer is yes
Imagine him in your mind
already way ahead of you boss
Imagine me in your mind
ok hahahaaaha
Imagine Shane Hollander and me standing next to each other
um
ok
Ok last thing. Imagine Shane Hollander and me standing next to each other and we are holding hands and in a relationship
look cap if you found my old ao3 just say it i cant take the suspense anymore
im sorry if those stories make you uncomfortable but i literally cant take them down bc i orphaned them!!!
i know i shouldnt have kept a psued on but i was just so attached
What?
No i am saying I am dating Hollander
Is a very good thing no need to be uncomfortable or sorry
What are you talking about?
adsjf;lakdsjfa;
nothing!!!!
wdym youre dating shane hollander??? hahahahhaaa
I mean what i say
uhhhhhh does hollander know?
Of course
like im not saying i dont believe you but do you have idk like a picture of you two together or texts or smthg
bc i feel like my brain is melting trying to imagine you two
like
standing next to each other
and being in uhhh love and everything
cap?
🍎🍏Dog Dealer (Harris) 🍎🍏
Big news i am in a relationship 🙌 Will be great for social media because we are both very sexy and will get millions of views for the team. You are welcome
Hi Ilya. Thanks for letting me know about this. Just to clarify, do you want to keep this low-key and starting adding her to WAG content slowly or make an official statement?
*Him
Oh! That’s on me, I shouldn’t have assumed. I’m glad you feel comfortable enough to come out to me, I’m honored. That does affect how we’re going to move forward though. Can you tell me a bit about him?
Ok i will give you hints and you will guess
He is a very handsome rich smart hockey player with a great ass and beautiful freckles who plays for Montreal and also is their captain
So you’re talking about Shane Hollander.
Yes!!! Hollander
You are first one to actually get it
Ha ha okay. Who is it actually?
Fuck i spoke too soon
There is no one else
He is my boyfriend Harris
Is this supposed to be a prank? This is my work phone.
Shane Hollander and i are secret lovers
Ilya I understand that you and him have gotten closer over the past year but I am being so serious when I tell you this - do not say that or post that anywhere. That man’s PR team has had to squash more gay rumors than all of 2000s boy band management combined. They know how to move and they will make you pay. If this got out, it wouldn’t be considered a joke. It would be libel.
No i asked Hollander and he said is fine
Call me.
Harris’s sugar daddy 🤑
Stop stressing my bf out
I am in a homosexual relationship with Shane Hollander
What?
You feeling ok man?
Feeling very in love with Shane Hollander
Ok so am I? Every gay guy who is even slightly connected to hockey has had a crush on Hollander
Im going to kms
Before I got closer with Harris I was actually going to ask you for Hollander’s number but I chickened out haha
Hollander is taken. By me
Lmao you wish, he’s a total babe
Plus he’s so fucking good at hockey it’s insufferabl(y hot)
I am reporting you to hr and fbi and your loving committed boyfriend and Ke$ha too while I am at it
Did you miss the part where I said every gay guy because I meant EVERY gay guy
[📍Location pin]
[📍Location pin]
[📍Location pin]
???
Pick one
These are all in the middle of nowhere wtf
And you will be there for a long time so choose carefully
Sveta 💋
I am in love with Shane Hollander and we are dating and he is my boyfriend
yes)))
did you hit your head or did you just want to say it to someone
because i knew this already
i guessed after i said ‘oh hollander is cute’ and you said ‘eh he is okay’ like you had suddenly lost vision in both eyes
Thank you Sveta i feel like i am going crazy
why
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wow
who is shane hollander
You are no longer invited to wedding(((
oh tell me about this imaginary wedding. it will be held in a castle yes
you will ride in on a white horse and he will wear skates
you will say ‘i do’ and he will say ‘rozanov you need to get off the ice the medics need to check you for a concussion’
you will go on a wild honeymoon where you show up at his house unannounced and he calls a rave bus with red and blue flashing lights for a party
So sad that i have R**e L****y’s number just sitting in my phone collecting dust
shane hollander is your boyfriend and you will marry him someday)))
[Contact: ❌Jane’s EX girl FRIEND (not good at hockey) (gets kidnapped a lot) (woman)❌]
i will be your bridesmaid muah
Is Roz losing it
Troy Barrett added Harris Drover
Troy Barrett added Zane Boodram
Troy Barrett added Luca Haas
Troy Barrett added Wyatt Hayes
Ok I think everyone is here
We need to talk