Work Text:
Beta- Anne , thank you so much and elo for translating
He was not even sure he saw the sunlight.
When he looked up from the paperwork accumulated on his desk, out the window, the light seemed almost aggressive to him. He sighed, his back stooped, arched. How long had he been sitting for? Far too long.
He could feel fatigue in every inch of his body, causing pangs in his muscles. Perhaps he forgot war council? This idea gave him chills. He could already hear Josephine and Leliana lecture him, telling him he was working far too much and that it was not good for his health. He remembered the cake offered by Sera few days earlier, supposedly having a tired face.
Cullen ran a hand over his ravaged face, sighing and grumbling. He stared into the void and an image crossed his mind. A smile appeared on his lips. He thought of the Inquisitor and their new relationship. It took time, a lot of time, but now they were together... sort of. Nothing really evolved. He worked from morning to night, sometimes even until the next morning. A few kisses stolen, a few words exchanged, that was their relationship currently.
The Commander couldn't ask for more. He hadn't been with someone since ... he couldn't even remember any real relationship and did not want to spoil this one.
He sat up, numb, tired. He went upstairs to freshen up and change. Once done, he felt much better, even if he had only one desire: to collapse on his bed and sleep soundly. But his nights were rarely peaceful since he had stopped taking lyrium. Even today, he had withdrawal symptoms. He promised the Inquisitor not to strain himself, but he was struggling to keep his word.
"Commander!" said someone at the door.
Cullen sighed. His break was, as ever, short-lived. He returned to his office and opened the door, welcoming a squadron of soldiers coming to do their report in the morning.
Maker. For once they were on time and of course, it had to be today.
Cullen later found the Inquisitor in Skyhold's courtyard where he was talking with Cassandra. A smile touched his lips at the sight of the young elf and he waved to him as soon as he noticed his presence. Lavellan apologized to the Seeker and joined Cullen who was standing straight as a flag in the middle of the yard.
"Hello, Cullen."
"Hello Inquisitor, er I mean-" The man rubbed the back of his neck, visibly embarrassed. "Excuse me, it's... a habit. I did not really... Well, you see... "
"It doesn't matter," assured the mage with a tender smile. "Really. "
" Oh, right… "
"Are you OK?"
"Yes, yes, hard work, as you can imagine."
Cullen cleared his throat, his voice hoarse from fatigue.
Lavellan frowned, staring at him for a few seconds.
"Are you sure? You look exhausted," said the elf anxiously. He could not ignore the Commander's pallid face, nor the shadows under his eyes. nor the compulsive trembling of his hands, even if Cullen didn't seem to notice.
Lavellan took his face in his hands to watch him carefully. Cullen pushed him, seeming irritated for a moment.
"It's all right, I already told you I was all right!"
"Pardon me if I'm worried about you," said the mage, half in earnest, half in jest.
Cullen then realized the severity of his words. He pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes to gather his thoughts.
"I'm sorry... it's the lack of lyrium... I think it makes me irritable."
The elf sighed, his face softening.
"OK, I understand. You've already told me that the withdrawal could be dangerous and even..." The Inquisitor didn't dare to finish his sentence. "I know it can have side effects."
"Yes, poor Jim, I think he must be afraid of me now, I threw something at his face earlier."
The elf chuckled.
"He is afraid of you."
"No, really ?"
"You do not remember that day on the battlements? You can be pretty harsh when you want."
"Maker's breath. I would like my men to respect me, not fear me."
"I'm sure they respect you ... You just frighten them a little from time to time," his companion joked, grabbing him by the waist in order to rest against him.
Cullen cleared his throat but sank quickly into the embrace. The elf laughed, but it was not cynical or sarcastic, just joyful. He was just happy to be with the Commander who didn't wait long to kiss him by surprise.
Finally, the day did not look so bad...
"You are certain of what you say? asked the Commander, observing what was left in his glass. "I- I am not sure ... well, it's not what I usually do."
Sitting next to him, Varric gave him a powerful slap on the lower back, which was supposed to be friendly... but ended up a tad bit violent.
"Trust me Curly, I'm sure he'll like it," the dwarf said while waving his pint fervently.
"Anyway, the Inquisitor is not an innocent girl, and I do not want him to misunderstand my intentions..."
Varric gave him a smirk and approached him suddenly deeply interested.
"Oh, and what are your intentions Commander?"
Cullen blushed deeply and protested. "None of what you have in mind!" he snaped before emptying his mug in one go.
Varric burst out laughing - it was so easy to make the man uncomfortable. Sera and he were specialists in this field.
Cullen ran a hand over the top of his head, feeling the beginning of a headache. Maybe he shouldn't have accepted the dwarf's offer; alcohol and lyrium withdrawal did not mix well. Annoyed, he put his drink back on the table, dropped some coins, and left the inn without a word.
A few meters away, Dorian turned in his seat towards Varric.
"He'll do it, right?"
"Obviously," replied the dwarf with absolute confidence, his smile not leaving his face any second.
He had only found a note when he returned to Cullen's office that night. A piece of parchment scribbled quickly, folded in half with his name on it. Opening it, he found the directions to a place for a rendez-vous in Skyhold. Although curious, the elf appreciated this initiative, whatever it was. After all, it predicted nothing dire or at least he hoped.
The night fell, the corridors slowly emptied. Some soldiers were going to the tavern, others talking outside. He walked at a peaceful pace, watching the servants lighting the torches and candlesticks, saluting him when he passed by. The fortress became silent, lost in the mist giving it more the appearance of an ancient ruin.
He reached a quite ordinary door and was almost certain that there were only rubble behind. After a short moment of hesitation, he knocked, waited for an answer, and entered.
"Here you are."
Cullen was there, smiling at him gently, though somewhat agitated. Lavellan looked around the room with astonishment. It was a rather narrow room with a single bed and some furniture. An incredible amount of candles had been placed on every available surface, providing a special atmosphere to the room. It was beautiful. He was especially impressed since it was the Commander who did all of that.
He looked at him for a moment, his face flattered by the glow of the candles, his eyes on him expressing love and desire. The man suddenly looked away, having probably noticed the way he looked at him.
"I... Do you like it?"
Lavellan joined Cullen in the middle of the room, a huge smile cracking his face, amused and impressed.
"It's very beautiful. You always manage to surprise me." He put a hand against Cullen's chest. "It's a compliment I can assure you..."
"Ha, I... I did not know if it would please you, sincerely," Cullen confessed. "I don't usually do these things... To be honest I've never done something like this."
Lavellan put a hand on each side of his head and the man closed his eyes, enjoying the contact. The elf kissed him as a way to thank him, Cullen squeezing him tightly.
"I'm pleased", assured the Inquisitor. "But ... to what do I owe the honor?"
"Well..." Cullen sat down on the bed which creaked under his weight. It seemed pretty old. The elf stood beside him expectantly. "I know that things are not easy right now... Thanks to you, I stopped taking lyrium, and although it is difficult, I manage to hold on... We do not really have the opportunity to meet, so I thought that I could do that, at least to thank you." Cullen looked up at him. "A time for us."
"Cullen ..."
The Inquisitor felt overcome with happiness he could not express with words. On this point, he was similar to the Commander. He never felt such a feeling of serenity with someone. Despite his origins, despite the fact he was a mage, Cullen looked at him with love and admiration, holding him. He broke the distance he had always installed with the people around him; for him.
Lavellan eyed his companion's lips with lust. The Commander so close to him, they were only a few centimeters from each other. But he felt that doing this would go beyond a simple kiss. He knew that Cullen hadn't done that for that purpose only. However, this perspective was not displeasing to him. The Commander held his breath.
"I-"
To the mage's surprise, it was Cullen who initiated the kiss, firmly clasping the mage, knocking him backward and the bed creaked more under their weight. The Inquisitor wrapped his arms and legs around him, holding him and kissing him frantically as he had never done before. Cullen stroked Lavellan's nape, sliding a hand down his chest to finally rest in the hollow of his waist. The elf could feel how much Cullen wanted him at that moment, all restraint broken. They stopped when they ran out of air, exchanging a tender look before laughing nervously. Cullen moved a strand of hair away from the Inquisitor's forehead, admiring his eyes were a new fire was sparking.
"Maker..." Cullen exhaled. "I love you. "
"And I love it when you say that," replied the Inquisitor before becoming a little bolder with a feverish kiss, becoming more insistent.
He pulled back on the bed, taking a slightly more comfortable position where his legs didn't have to touch the ground. Hands on the sturdy shoulders of the Commander, he took off his surcoat, on the lookout for any signs of rejection from him. But Cullen kissed the tip of his fingers, showing that his desire was definitely shared. Though his hands trembled visibly, he began to undo the Inquisitor's doublet and its multiple hooks, a tedious task for which he decided to remove his gloves. Lavellan kissed his parted lips to encourage him. It was not the first time that Cullen saw his companion half naked, but it was as if he was rediscovering him. Candle lights gave a special appearance to the mage's skin, making it smoother and attractive.
He licked his lips, clearly excited. Lavellan lifted his chin to kiss him again, pulling him from his reverie. It seemed more eager, wanting to also find the contact of the former Templar on his body. His hands, his lips everywhere at once made him lose his mind, he never thought Cullen capable of such passion. He was not going to complain after all, he remained a man.
They soon found themselves au naturel, Cullen stepping back to contemplate the elf lying on the bed, breath out of his lungs at that moment. He had never seen thinner skin, a more pleasing body. At the thought that he could make him his, his lips trembled. Lavellan did not seem the least embarrassed in the world, it was even the opposite. He caressed, hugged the powerful arms of the Commandant, raising his leg along his thigh to make sure he wasn't going away.
"Do you have something to say?" the mage whispered, his forehead against Cullen's.
Cullen smiled and positioned himself on top of him, trapping him with his arms.
"You are really beautiful..."
"You too." Lavellan kissed his lips. "Something bothering you? "
"I…. I've never... with a man."
The Inquisitor let out a quiet laugh; it was not a new thing for him.
"And you really think that has any importance?" He asked with a kind look.
"Well I... No? I'd rather warn you," Cullen admitted, relieved. "But I know what to do, forgive me if it's not... I'm not used to it." He quickly kissed the Inquisitor, his desire becoming suddenly more urgent. If he wasn't really prepared, Lavellan had been. He retrieved a small object in one of the bag from his belt fallen on the ground and gave it to Cullen.
"It will be better with that."
The man nodded and took the object which was actually a small bottle. The gaze of the Inquisitor indicated to him to not ask any questions about it. Cullen put the content on his fingers then on his cock. He put his lips on the Inquisitor's neck, ferociously biting the sensitive skin, moving on his earlobe that made him moan and writhe with pleasure against him. The man slipped his hand between Lavellan's legs, first penetrating him gently and then with a little more harshness. The elf arched, short-winded, grimacing occasionally to this new sensation.
"I'm all right, all right," he tried to reassure him with a smile, somewhat tense. Cullen nodded and did his best to lessen the pain, leaving a litany of kisses against his collarbone before taking one of his nipples between his teeth. Lavellan bit his lip, letting out a sigh of appreciation, tending more and more towards him. The heat became unbearable for both of them and with an approval glance from him, he joined him for good.
"Maker..." Cullen blurted, eyes closed, sensation overwhelming him. " I… It's..."
He took the face of the Inquisitor in his hands, looking him straight in the eyes and kissed him with passion, just because he could not get enough of his lips. He wanted to hold him, show him love and make him feel that he was the most important person in the world. He saw in Lavellan's eyes that his feelings were mutual. Cullen had doubted many things in his life, but now he was convinced. He loved him. More than anyone. Lavellan breathed life into him, reviving the ember that had long died in his dry heart.
"Cullen..." Lavellan stroked his arm, seeking for his hand.
"My love..." murmured the man before gently kissing his cheek, their fingers intertwined.
Lavellan smiled and let go again, sinking in pleasure and enjoyment, the bed base creaking their movements which became more intense every second. Any discomfort from the Commander totally disappeared. He was only thinking about the mage. His smell, his skin, his voice he contained by modesty and not to attract any curious. Cullen grabbed his hips and his ass with both hands, pulling him in a possessive embrace. He felt the Inquisitor close, his legs were tightening, his eyes desperately shut.
He put a hand on the elf's cock, doing a delicious back and forth movement that would take him to the limits of his pleasure. But ultimately, he came first in a low growl, holding on with one hand to avoid falling back on his companion. He closed his hand a little harder around Lavellan's cock and the mage let out a long breath, lips closed and a thin tear rolling down his sweaty cheek.
It was so .... It was nothing he had ever known before. His heart slowly regained a steady pace. It was after a few seconds that he looked up towards Cullen, breathing deeply, calmed. The man smiled and let himself fall against him. This was too much for the bed base which broke its boards at the same time, the couple ending up instantly to the ground in a pother.
"Maker's breath! Are you hurt!?" Cullen worried, still surprised. He felt the Inquisitor tremble and saw that he was laughing, quite simply. It even became a hysterical laughter and Cullen finally joined him. He did not feel the effects of lack of lyrium. He felt no pain, no nervousness, no fear.
Cullen had never thought that happiness could be reduced to so little, or what it would look like. Yet, this time, he was sure that he found it. fin