Chapter Text
He wasn't entirely sure when it happened, when this fixation was planted in the varied depths of his brain, like a seed. Yet to grow and uproot into something unmistakable.
He guessed that something had flicked crossways inside of him upon first glance. All without him even realizing it. His raw eyes unable to properly do your appearance any glory as he stared through specs and lenses that tapered the upper portion of his face, giving him a well enough image of what his new hire looked like and he was fascinated at but to a minuscule degree.
You were quiet and spared little words. Sometimes only answering with small smiles when colleagues spoke to you. It almost made him think you were mute.
For a small and inconspicuous amount of time, he chose not to really concern himself with you, just as he should. You were a nurse aid and had a lot of stuff to do, and he had other issues to take care of on his own behalf, other affairs that had nothing to do with you.
Yet, every time he was alone, your face popped into his mind as if he had snapped a picture by the flick of his lids when meeting you and it was forever engraved into the lining of his skull.
When he woke up in the mornings: you were there,
When he went to work: you were there,
When he was getting ready to go to sleep...you were fucking there.
He couldn't even sleep on his own accord without dreaming about you in flashes and spits of imagery. Imagery that painted you in sweet unmistakable ways, entertaining what could've awaited under those clothes of yours.
It wasn't like he hadn't seen a woman before, god knew better, and so did he. He'd seen many in his lifetime: Beautiful, Ugly, objectively attractive, Average, and then you.
Oh, God. You.
And, it wasn't like you were special either, but there was just something about you. Something he simply couldn't place his finger over no matter how hard he looked.
You were delicate in everything you did, and so very delicate yourself. Like fine china maybe; edges worn and chipped in places no one would think possible, deemed to crumble into countless of pieces under a single touch.
Yet, for some odd reason, it drove him along the heated urge of wanting to break you anyways. Ruin you beyond repair and make damn well sure you couldn't be fixed, unless it was him deciding to pick up after himself; and only him.
He found himself coming up with new tasks and little errands to run around the care center to complete, only were they an excuse to pass you in corridors, follow you around without your own knowledge, or more or less just to get one more glimpse of you despite him already having every single angle of your face imprinted in his mind; thirsty for more.
Soon enough, typical nights when he allegedly stayed for hours into the night in order to "Catch up on a few things", he was actually in his office — fervently stroking himself under his desk, eyes fluttering and head anchored back, having no shame to bring out your personnel file out from the filing cabinet, where a picture of your face was spared to be paper clipped along stapled down paperwork regarding almost everything about you, making it more and more easier to imagine certain pinches of your face being bent in crude ways that parted your lips open and your brows sewn together, sweat matting your hair to your pretty face, his name riding your tongue to no end.
It was easier getting off all the more under the knowledge that the root of this disgusting behavior was on the other end of the building— obliviously changing out fluid bags, administering analgesics, providing a warm change in blanketing, or just simply making your rounds throughout the patient wing. Being as hardworking as you naturally promised to be.
A small tugging voice wedged deep within his brain entertained the possibility that you knew what you were doing to him, making him act unlike himself and making his life harder. Doing it all while just being there, looking almost too cute in your sweater cardigan, button-down blouse, and starched-primed cotton skirt that fell off your frame in ways that spared more to the imagination than he could withstand.
And you Initiated it all the more with averted stares and a mortified expression ghosting your features whenever you saw him.
You stayed reserved only to him but not minding to spare a few words to others—as if he were below you, as if he wasn't deserving enough to be spoken to. As if he were nothing but a few particles of rubble below your feeble feet. Ignoring him almost, as if he never existed, like he wasn't the one that hired you in the first place and gave you a source of income.
How ungrateful of you, you little brat.
Who in the hell did you think you were?
A goddamn tease, maybe?
He knew he wasn't necessarily fitting along the eyes and he knew that could’ve been why you fell hesitant upon seeing him—but it never mattered. He didn't really care either way, the throbbing in his pants definitely didn't, and the way you looked at others and simply smiled even if it was forced didn't help his situation any less.
It made him angry at times. It really made those extra hours past 6 almost challenging to not get up from his office desk and ground his way to your designated floor, push you into a nearby utility closet and have his way with you for hours until he felt satisfied with himself.
And he really would have, ditching his morality all together. But, he knew there were all too many drawbacks that could go wrong in doing so. He could get caught as the walls were so thin that even breathing was audible within three rooms over.
The rumors and constant whispers of gossip being relayed back and forth across the entire health center would never cease to end.
And, the annoying possibility of getting his license taken would undoubtedly be leveled over his head if the department of health got a little too curious.
There were just too many negatives that would never make a positive.
He would never win at this stupid game you were playing.
Peeling back a thin fabric of curtains alongside his office’s window that viewed down into the courtyard, he almost found you without any effort, along the few other patients that resided outside, as if his gaze was deemed to find you like a magnet.
You were seated along one of the benches next to a patient, being handed a small yellow flower that had been plucked up along the courtyard’s isolated patch of grass. Your fingers tenderly knead at its buttery petals, staring at it as if engrossed, saying a few words towards the child you were supervising that visually left your lips in a delicate way.
But then you paused, eyes jotting up from the small flower, and as if sensing his cutting glare, you slowly angled you head up and craned it in his direction, feeling your eyes beaming onto him like some heated spotlight, a sensation kin to being sat a flame rustled in his chest, almost making him shift with discomfort.
His fingers managed to coil tightly around the linen fabric of the curtain, nails splitting into the fabric.
It wouldn’t hurt to try and win your stupid little game, though.
You’d do well in keeping quiet, anyhow.