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Desperation

Summary:

Karl feels his memories slipping away day by day, desperately trying to cling onto whatever he has left. Some days a memory or two will come back, but only after he had done something stupid, like that time he yelled at one of his fiancé's and called him a murderer. Karl can't afford to forget Quackity again, he can't risk hurting him again.

Karl had seen how their fight had dimmed Sapnap's light, his fire was already diminishing and their fight was like pouring water onto it. It was clear that their separation and distance was hurting Sapnap. It was hurting Karl too. He realized the problem. With no one to remind him of his third partner; those memories simply slipped away. The only reason he still held onto memories of Sapnap was because he was always there to remind him, to refresh his brain.

He didn't want to forget either of them. If the problem is absence, then he simply has to ensure that they're always around. He won't forget them that way. Problem solved!

Now if only Quackity and Sapnap would cooperate.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Karl panted as he ran around the prime path, he managed to get directions from someone what was their name again? on where Quackity currently was, they saw him walking towards the massive crater. Why was he there? That's dangerous! He could trip and fall to his death or someone could push him in, then he'd never get to apologize for his behavior on that one horrid day!

 

Karl felt his chest heaving as he finally made it to the crater, his hands clutching his chest as he tried to catch his breath. Karl's gaze scanned his surroundings, trying to find his beloved angel in the dark. Karl's eyes zoned in on something white, there! There Quackity stood, his white button up making him stick out in the darkness of the night.

 

Karl wasn't thinking straight, too overjoyed at seeing his beloved Quackity. He immediately ran up to him, jumping at him and wrapping his arms around his body. Quackity stumbled back a bit, but Karl managed to keep them upright before they could fall into the pit. Karl's eyes sharpened, realizing how close his fiancé was to death.

 

Karl quickly began tugging Quackity away from the edge, the avian stumbling as he processed what was happening. Once his brain finally caught up, he shoved Karl off of him. “Karl!? What the hell are you doing!?” He snapped, pulling his arms close to his chest.

 

“Q, angel, I'm so sorry!” Karl exclaimed as he reached out to him, squeezing Quackity's arms once he grabbed hold of them. “I- there's no excuse for my behavior that day! I'm so sorry for yelling at you, calling you a murderer! Angel, I'm so sorry!”

 

Quackity just stared for a moment, clearly trying to take in what was currently happening. “Karl, you- you can't possibly believe that an apology will make up for what you did,” he said harshly, prying Karl's hands off of him.

 

Karl shook his head. “No, I don't. What I said to you that day was awful, I know that. But Q, I- I only said those things because I forgot.” He explained, but that didn't seem to be the right thing to say as Quackity's face morphed.

 

“You forgot!?” Quackity exclaimed, his wings flaring out aggressively. “How do you just forget your fiancé!? Karl- that is the most bullshit explanation I have ever heard! If you didn't love me anymore, you can just say it! You don't need to come up with some elaborate explanation!”

 

Quackity took a step back, planning to leave, but Karl wasn't letting this opportunity slip through his fingers. Who knows when he'll ever get a chance like this ever again. He grabbed hold of Quackity's wrist, stopping him in his tracks. “Angel, please, just listen.” He begged, his grip tightening in desperation.

 

Quackity paused, his gaze flicking over Karl's frame. He let out a small breath before averting his gaze. “Make it quick,” he muttered as his wings folded against his back.

 

“I- you see- crap this is hard…” Karl hissed before shaking his head to clear his mind. “My memories have been getting worse, it isn't just you that I've forgotten. I… I’ve forgotten most of the people on this server, I'm certain I've even forgotten Sap a few times…”

 

Quackity opened his mouth to reply, but Karl still had more to say. “It doesn't excuse my behavior that day! I'm not saying that, but it's the explanation for why I behaved that way.” Karl quickly said, he didn't want Quackity to think that he was excusing what he did that day.

 

Quackity was silent for a moment, his body tense as he mulled over his words. “I see…” he whispered as his shoulders slumped. “That's not what I expected, honestly… I… fuck, I hate this…”

 

Karl watched as Quackity pulled his wrist out of his grip, pressing the palms of his hands to his eyes. “Fuck… why'd you have to go and complicate things… it was so much easier just accepting that you hated me, that you fell out of love and wanted nothing to do with me…”

 

Karl could feel his heart break at those words. “Angel, I could never!” He remarked, pulling Quackity's hands away from his eyes. “Q, I could never stop loving you. Even when my memories were foggy, I was still upset at myself for yelling at you, for hurting you.”

 

Quackity let out a shaky breath, his gaze stuck to the ground. “Karl… I… thank you for… coming out here and apologizing, I guess…” Quackity muttered as he took a step back, pulling his hands out of Karl's grasp. “But… I need time, I can't just forgive you right away…”

 

Karl bit back the words he wanted to spew. ‘Why not? I apologized, didn't I? Just forgive me and we can go back to how things were before.’ He held back those words, because that would be unfair to Quackity. He hurt Quackity, it was reasonable that he'd be upset. What he wasn't fine with was Quackity saying he needed time.

 

Space he could do, he could give Quackity plenty of space for him to feel better! But time? Karl, quite frankly, had enough of time. He was tired of time taking away what he cared about. He just got his memories of Quackity back, time away from him would reverse all the work he'd done to fix things! No, he can't allow it!

 

He will not allow Quackity to run away from his feelings, because that's what this was. Quackity was running away like he always did when he couldn't handle his emotions. Quackity was running away and Karl would forget if he let Quackity slip out of his fingers. He will not allow that.

 

“I understand,” Karl said, his head hung low. He couldn't let Quackity see the rage on his face.

 

Quackity just stayed quiet, Karl watched as his shoes left his field of view. He glanced up, seeing Quackity’s back. He stood upright, flicking through his inventory to find the wooden sword he crafted just for this.

 

He was hoping that he wouldn't have to resort to this, he was hoping that Quackity would be more forgiving. He had forced his hand, he didn't want to hurt his poor angel but Quackity left him with no other choice.

 

Karl swung, hitting Quackity in the back of his head. He watched as the duck hybrid crumpled to the ground, although he could tell that he was still conscious. Damn, he really should've taken up those training sessions that Sapnap had offered. If he were stronger he would've knocked Quackity out with only one hit. Now he had to do a second one.

 

Karl crouched down beside Quackity, frowning at the pained groan that left the avian’s lips. “I'm sorry angel,” he whispered comfortingly as he tightened his grip on the sword. “Why'd you have to be so difficult?”

 

With another wack, Quackity was out cold. Karl sighed as he put the sword back into his inventory. He checked the duck hybrid's head, making sure that there was no blood from the impact. He let out a relieved sigh when he saw nothing. Quackity, despite how difficult he was being, was the easier part of his plan. Getting Sapnap however…

 

Karl picked Quackity up bridal style, smiling giddily as he took in their positions. He couldn't wait to do this when they actually got married! He couldn't help but notice how light Quackity was, he figured that it was from the hollow bones since Quackity was a bird hybrid, but he still felt too light even for what he was.

 

Had Quackity been eating at all in the months they'd been apart? Karl felt his heart break as he thought about that. The image of Quackity skipping meals because he was heartbroken over how his two loves just disappeared on him out of the blue with no contact. He probably worsened after their fight as well.

 

Karl held Quackity’s frame closer to him, promising to himself that he'll take good care of his Quackity. As he walked, Karl couldn't help but notice that there was a faint jingling sound, or rather a small clinking sound of two metals tapping against each other. Karl looked around, finding nothing.

 

He took a few steps forwards, trying to figure out the direction of the noise. He paused when he finally figured it out, he looked down at Quackity. There, around his neck, was a small chain necklace. There was definitely something on it that was causing the sound, but Karl was already holding him and he didn't want to put him down just for this. Karl let out a small disappointed groan, sucking it up and telling himself that he'd check it out when they got to the place.

 

Karl was so glad that Quackity was light, it made the travel towards Kinoko Kingdom much easier. Karl made sure to build his secret someplace off the path, most things were close to the prime path or had the path extended to connect to it. Karl couldn't risk someone accidentally stumbling upon his secret. He walked for a while, boredly counting how many blocks he was walking before stopping in an empty meadow.

 

It was close to Kinoko but far enough away that Niki couldn't just go mining and accidentally stumble upon it. Karl had to move it multiple times because he remembered their underground neighbor while in the middle of building.

 

Karl carefully kicked a stone out of its place, flicking the lever that the stove covered. He tapped his foot as he waited for the hidden door to open. He was so happy when he first made the door, taking numerous days learning redstone just to build it. Karl walked down the stairs before stopping at an obsidian wall, he carefully placed Quackity on the floor and pulled out his pick.

 

He mined a two block hole then put his pick away, picking Quackity up and walking inside. As he stepped into the obsidian box, he grinned as he gently placed Quackity down into one of the beds inside the obsidian box. He petted Quackity's head with a soft coo, warmth filling his chest at seeing how calm and peaceful his angel looked when asleep.

 

Karl reluctantly pried his hand away from Quackity, he didn't want to leave Quackity's side but he wanted to get Sapnap today as well. He exited the box and replaced the two blocks that he broke. He walked up the stairs and flicked the lever, watching as the hidden door closed. He grabbed the stone and carefully put it back in its place. Now the hard part, getting Sapnap.

 

Quackity was never much of a fighter, getting him was the easiest part of the plan, although Karl would've preferred if he didn't have to resort to knocking him out in order to get him to come. As he began making his way back to Kinoko Kingdom, he cursed when he realized that he forgot to check what was on Quackity's necklace. Damn it, guess he'll have to check when he brought Sapnap back.

 

Karl pulled out his notebook from his inventory, quickly writing down the coordinates just in case he forgot. He wrote a note to himself as well, just in case he forgot as he was walking back to Kinoko Kingdom. ‘You have a bottle full of a special potion, use it in Sapnap’s drink but don’t tell him. He’ll fight with you about it even though it won’t hurt him.’

 

He hated making Sapnap sound irrational, but he knew that if he forgot then memoryless Karl would absolutely tell Sapnap about the potion he had. He couldn’t risk it. As he continued his walk, he skimmed through the pages of this book. He had completely redone his reminders, hating his old ones. They were messy and forgot details over time, it forgot Quackity over time. He wrote down some old reminders whenever he didn’t remember certain details, but it was mostly full of the memories he had at the moment. Especially what he had planned.

 

Karl closed the book and put it back into his inventory, sighing to himself as he continued on his way back towards Kinoko Kingdom. Sapnap would definitely be worried about where he had been, but if he played it easy then Sapnap would just let it go, like he always did. Karl felt bad, but it was the best. If Sapnap still thought that Karl didn’t remember Quackity, then he wouldn’t have to deal with a Sapap who's constantly moving around.

 

He needed Sapnap to sit still, to drink the tea that he laced with the potion. Sapnap would eventually understand, this was all so the three of them could be together. Quackity would need more convincing, but Karl knew that Sapnap would come around.

 

Karl smiled as he arrived in Kinoko Kingdom, going up to the house where Sapnap stayed. The demon rarely left this place at night, waiting for Karl like an obedient dog. Karl pushed open the door, grinning brightly at seeing Sapnap exactly where he expected him to be, sitting on one of the couches in the living room. Such an obedient puppy.

 

Sapnap looked up at the creak the door made, relief spreading across his face at seeing Karl. “Karl, you’re back,” he said breathlessly, Karl’s gaze softened at that tone. Aw, Sapnap must've been waiting for him to return for a while. While Karl couldn't stop his trips, at least his poor Sapnap could have somebody to accompany him while Karl was gone. Quackity and Sapnap could have time to reconnect while Karl was away. Oh, that sounded delightful! His beloveds reconnecting with each other! Karl couldn't wait!

 

Karl beamed as he made his way towards the kitchen. “Hey Sap, how’re you?” he asked, practically vibrating with energy. He couldn't wait to have both of his fiancé’s together in the same place!

 

“I’m… managing,” Sapnap finally replied, a bit put off by Karl’s energetic demeanor. This was the first time Karl came back home with so much energy and enthusiasm, it was a bit jarring. Especially after what had happened a few weeks ago…

 

Karl hummed a random melody, he was unsure of who made it, while he quietly brewed some tea for Sapnap. When he turned to his fiancé while the water was being heated up, he was surprised to see how still Sapnap was. “Sap? You okay?” He hesitantly asked, concern evident in his tone.

 

Sapnap gave a stiff nod. “Yeah… just, where did you hear that, Karl?” Sapnap inquired, a slight hopeful tone in his voice. Oh. Was this melody one Quackity made? Karl reeled in his emotions, he needed Sapnap to still think he didn't remember.

 

“Uh, I don't know honestly,” Karl lied, fidgeting with the hem of his sleeve like he did whenever he would try to rummage through his memories. “Why do you ask? Am I supposed to remember something about it?”

 

Karl watched as Sapnap visibly deflated, his shoulders slumping as his eyes dimmed. “N-no, it’s nothing important,” Sapnap stammered, his tail curling around his leg. Karl felt so bad for lying to Sapnap, but this was all for a good cause. He couldn't do what he needed to do if the demon was up and about because he was trying to get answers out of Karl about what he remembered about Quackity.

 

Karl jumped when the tea kettle let out a loud whistle, he quickly turned around and retrieved it. Karl listened to Sapnap move around in his seat as he poured the boiling water into the cup, fighting back a smile as he grabbed the special weakness potion from his inventory.


Karl was so glad that weakness potions had no distinct taste or smell, it made this task so much easier. He spent a while in the Inbetween to brew this. He had no doubts that he lost his memories multiple times in the process of making it, but luckily everything turned out relatively fine.

 

Karl returned to the living room with two cups of tea, placing Sapnap’s laced drink in front of him. He sat beside the demon, picking out a random conversation topic in order to lull his fiancé into a false sense of security. He needed Sapnap to drink that tea. His whole plan hinged on it. Karl mentally cursed himself out for using the entire potion, if Sapnap didn't drink the tea Karl would have to spend ages making another weakness potion this strong! He painstakingly waited for Sapnap to pick up the teacup, slowly running out of topics as he waited for Sapnap to just drink it!

 

Karl had to hold back the sigh of relief that dared to escape his chest when the demon finally picked up the teacup in front of him, taking a sip of the laced drink. That’s fine, one sip should be enough to knock him out long enough for Karl to bring him to his hidden area. He used a whole bottle after all.

 

Karl switched to topics that he knew bored Sapnap, anything to ensure Sapnap actually succumbed to the weakness potion. This went on for a few more minutes before Sapnap suddenly slumped against Karl’s shoulder, out cold. Karl couldn't help the giddy laugh that escaped his lips, he was so close! Karl carefully picked Sapnap up, letting out a small grunt at how heavy he was. He was definitely carryable, but damn the difference between him and Quackity was jarring!

 

Karl made his way towards the front door, glaring at the closed slab of wood and regretting closing it behind him. Karl reluctantly put Sapnap down to open the door, quickly picking up the demon once he was done. Karl kept an eye out as he made his way out of Kinoko, he didn't want to explain to George or Tina where they were going and why Sapnap was passed out. Karl hummed the melody from before, feeling ecstatic now that he was aware that it was one made by Quackity.

 

Karl kicked a stray pebble as he wandered away from the path, heading toward his secret area. He listened to the calming sounds of the wildlife, letting the noises clear his head. Karl opened his eyes when his shoulder brushed against a tree, noticing that he was in the clearing. Karl carefully moved the rock out of the way, flicking the lever with his foot. Once the secret door opened up, Karl quickly made his way down the stairs, almost missing a step in his hurry.

 

Karl gently placed Sapnap on the ground and mined out an opening in the obsidian wall, picking the demon back up and carrying him inside. He gently placed Sapnap in the second bed, brushing his hair out of his face. He reluctantly got up from the bed in order to block up the hole, not wanting them to get any ideas when they woke up.

 

Karl turned to Quackity once he finally blocked up the hole, heading over towards his other fiancé. He sat down beside Quackity, reaching for the necklace hiding beneath his shirt.

 

Once he pulled it out into the open, Karl felt his heart skip a beat at what he saw. There, on his necklace, were two rings. Rings that belonged to Sapnap and Karl.

 

He still kept them.

 

Karl couldn't stop the giddy grin that spread across his face, bouncing his leg in excitement. He didn't want to wake up Quackity, but prime, he wanted to pounce on him and squeeze him! Quackity kept their rings right next to his heart!

 

Karl jumped when he felt Quackity move, but melted when he realized that the duck hybrid’s head was resting against his leg. He cooed at his fiancé, gently running his fingers through the avian’s messy hair. Oh dear, when was the last time he’d taken care of himself? Karl sighed, this was definitely the right choice. Quackity wasn’t taking care of himself. Karl trailed his hands down Quackity’s back, carefully rubbing the lump on his back. Oh, his poor wings…

 

Karl began unbuttoning Quackity’s shirt, peeling the cloth off of his body and laid it beside him. Karl pulled out a bottle of preening oil from his inventory, thankfully he had been prepared for this. Quackity was pretty bad at taking care of his wings back then. As Karl carefully cleaned up his wings, he couldn't help but frown.

 

Quackity’s wings were so messy and there was barely any oil on his feathers, Karl even had to clean some grime off of his feathers. Karl let out a small huff, he absolutely made the right choice. Quackity’s wings were in terrible shape, it was a good thing that Karl took him before he could get any worse.

 

“I’m sorry for taking so long,” Karl muttered as he straightened a feather. “You must’ve been suffering for a long time. I’m sorry, my angel. I’ll make up for lost time, don’t you worry.”

 

_______________________

 

Karl jumped when Quackity suddenly groaned, his eyes fluttering open. “Wha…” the avian slurred as he slowly woke up. Quackity let out a soft coo as Karl ran his fingers through his feathers, almost dozing off before the situation struck him. He quickly sat up, scrambling away from Karl.

 

“Karl! What the fuck did you do!?” Quackity hissed as he pressed his wings against his back. Karl frowned, his eyes following Quackity's wings.

 

“Don't do that, I just got them fixed,” Karl admonished, grabbing the avian and pressing him against his chest. He tightened his arms when Quackity tried to struggle and squirm, gently prodding at his feathers to make sure he didn't miss anything.

 

“Karl…?” A voice called from across the room. Both Karl and Quackity looked up, watching as Sapnap groggily sat up. Karl grinned as he saw how weak Sapnap looked, the potion was still in effect. He didn't have to worry about Sapnap trying anything when he was still under that weakness potion.

 

Karl watched the way Sapnap's eyes widened when his eyes landed on Quackity, and he could feel the avian stiffen in his hold. “Quackity…?” Sapnap said breathlessly, his soft eyes wavering with longing. Karl could feel his heart melting, Sapnap was so happy to see their beloved angel.

 

Karl got up, ignoring how Quackity was still squirming, now trying to kick him. He sat down on Sapnap's bed, pulling Quackity in his lap as he did so. Karl ignored the bitter growl that escaped Quackity's throat. “Sap, you're awake,” Karl grinned as he squeezed Quackity, trapping him in his arms.

 

Sapnap was absolutely enamored with the sight of his two fiancé's in one place, but Karl could see the exact moment that his memories of what happened before he passed out came back to him. “Karl, what did you do?” Sapnap asked groggily, trying to shake off his tiredness.

 

Karl let out a small sigh. “I'm sorry Sapnap, but I did what I had to,” Karl replied as he ran his fingers through Quackity's hair. “I couldn't bear the thought of forgetting you, especially after forgetting Quackity…”

 

“I did this for us.”

 

Karl could see Sapnap's eyes widen, a small glint of hope in his gaze. “For us…?” He questioned, his tail weakly thumping against the bedsheets.

 

Karl smiled, nodding in response. “Yes, this is all for us,” he eagerly remarked. “I wanted us to be all together, just like old times. I figured if time spent apart was what made me forget Quackity, then why not get rid of it? I'll keep you two close, somewhere safe, that way I'll never forget!”

 

“Karl…” Both Sapnap and Quackity said, but their tones were way different. Sapnap's was full of longing and a twinge of hope, while Quackity's was full of disbelief and horror.

 

Karl sighed, he knew that this would happen. At least Sapnap could clearly see how much good this situation would be doing for them, but Quackity was always such a negative thinker. Such a pessimist.

 

“So you- you just trapped us!?” Quackity exclaimed, finally managing to shove himself away from Karl. Sapnap gently grabbed his shoulders, making sure that he didn't fall off the bed.

 

“I guess,” Karl responded with a shrug, moving to cup the avian's cheek but his hand was slapped away before he could do that. “Angel, don't be so difficult.”

 

“I can be as difficult as I want, you kidnapped me!” Quackity shouted, his wings puffing up in agitation.

 

Karl just looked sadly as his frustrated fiancé, it would take some time for Quackity to realize that this was in fact for the better. He just let out a wistful sigh and pulled the avian into his arms, cooing as Quackity flailed and struggled against him. 

 

Karl rubbed where his wing connected to his back, feeling the duck hybrid freeze up at the touch. “Shh, it's okay angel. You'll come around soon, you'll see that this is for the better.” He muttered comfortingly as he ran his other hand through the hybrid's messy hair. He'll have to fix that later. For now, he'll just focus on loving his estranged fiancé, to make up for lost time.

 

Karl turned to look at Sapnap, noting the demon's somber expression. He tilted his head in confusion, what's with the look? Hadn't Sapnap been so hopeful before? “Sap, what's wrong?” He asked, watching the way his other fiancé's eyes snapped up to look at him.

 

“I just… do we have to be tr- stu-” Sapnap stammered before cutting himself off, shaking his head to clear his mind.

 

“Do we have to stay here?” Sapnap muttered as his tail idly thumped against the bedsheets.

 

Karl's eyes narrowed at Sapnap's cut off words. Here he thought that Sapnap was on board. Whatever, he'll come around soon as well.

 

“Of course,” he replied plainly. “Kinoko is quite big, if I lost my memories again I'd get lost, and that's not even taking into account that Quackity lives quite far. I'd forget you two easily. In here the both of you are easy to access, and it's an opportunity to reconnect, the three of us!”

 

Sapnap gave a stiff nod. “I… I see…” he mumbled, his ears drooping at Karl's words.

 

Karl turned to look at Quackity, the avian had been quiet for too long. Quackity was stiff as a rock, a multitude of emotions running across his face. But the one that stuck out most to Karl was fear.

 

Karl gently cupped the duck hybrid's face, lifting his head up to look at him. “Angel, what's wrong?” He questioned in concern, rubbing the avian's cheek with his thumbs.

 

Karl got no verbal response, the hybrid's body just shook and quivered. Karl let out a small sigh, bringing the other closer. “It's okay angel, you're okay,” he reassured as he hugged his fiancé closer, gently rubbing his back.

 

Karl peaked up at Sapnap, giving him an expectant look. The demon quickly moved closer, wrapping his warm arms around Quackity as well. Sapnap let out a soft rumble, one that always calmed Quackity down.

 

Karl cooed as he felt Quackity loosen up, planting a kiss to the top of his head. He promptly ignored the way Quackity weakly shoved at his shoulders.

 

Everything was perfect. Quackity will come around eventually, and Sapnap would no doubt help him.

Notes:

Sapnap is kinda ooc but then again this is a dark Karl fic ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯ Sap isn't completely onboard, he's just tired and sad :( he wants to be with his fiancé's and will take whatever he can get even if it's at the cost of his own freedom

a bit more notes about this fic that couldn't make it into the fic ↓↓↓

Karl constantly brews a slightly dulled version of his special weakness potion and feeds them to Sapnap to make sure he can't overpower Karl

whenever Karl has to leave (whether it be to get their stuff or time travel) Sapnap always holds and comforts Quackity but doesn't say anything when Quackity screams and yells at him, asking why he won't do anything to stop Karl

If Quackity gets too rambunctious Karl will force him to drink one of his weakness potions, and if Q fights it too much he'll make Sapnap hold him still