Chapter Text
Narcissa’s eyes flutter and she yawns, stretching in a way that shifts the bedding. She turns to lie on her back and startles, eyes flying open, then narrowing immediately. There’s a lump. She did not spend the number of galleons she did on this mattress for it to be lumpy! She reaches down and behind her, seeking the infuriating protrusion, a scowl on her face, runs her hand over the silky sheets and finds none.
“Must have got some the duvet caught under me,” she mutters to herself and pulls the covers away, intent to lie flat on her back and let the sunlight sliding through the gap in the curtains to warm her gently. She gets nearly over before she feels it again, digging in, right on her coccyx. “What the?!” she snaps and sits bolt upright, losing all pretence of allowing the day to come to her gradually, as is the civilised way and, as such, her preference. She stares behind her, sees nothing poking through and runs her hand over where she should have been lying. Still nothing.
That doesn’t mean she trusts it. Once could be down to just awkward bedding folds. Twice suggests a jinx of some kind. Wand retrieved from the bedside table she brandishes it at the bedding and runs a series of diagnostics spells, all of which shouldn’t be done prior to caffeine in her opinion, but needs must and she is really hacked off. All come back negative. No jinx. No magic at all beyond that woven into the thread of the linen to keep it extra fresh smelling and the anti-abrasion charm. She sighs; there is no way she is getting back to sleep now so she might as well get up.
The covers are thrown off her in a huff, the curtains are flung open with similar vigour, flooding the room with light far too jarring for so soon after having woken. It takes a moment for her eyes to adjust and as soon as they do she catches sight of something that does not make sense in the full-length cheval mirror. She pauses, rotates slightly and cranes her neck to look round. The satin of her slip is bumfled in a most unbecoming manner due to a compact but broadly spherical protuberance.
The shrieking is bad, worse when Narcissa eventually gains the courage to lift the edge of the hem of her nightdress to confirm that she does in fact have a tail. A fluffy, round, cotton tail, but it’s cuteness relative to other tail options hardly provides comfort to her. A sharp yank confirms that it is in fact attached. No splicing or cutting spell removes it. No transfiguration or charm that Narcissa tries, including the ones that she dashes to the library to research. She is stood in the kitchen with a cleaver, weighing up if she has the bravery to try that drastic measure when a tapping on the window followed by a screech distracts her. The blade clatters heavily onto the kitchen floor as she dashes to get window to get her post.
She snatches the letter from the owl and ignores the nip it gives her in admonishment of her rough treatment before it flaps off from the window ledge and swoops away, too busy breaking the Ministry seal to read the contents of the letter.
‘British Ministry of Magic,
London,
UK
9th March 2011
Ms Narcissa Black,
Fairview,
Tillingham Avenue
Rye,
East Sussex
Dear Ms Black,
Congratulations! You have been allocated the unique privilege of being the Easter Bunny for 2011!
This is an incredible honour and I’m sure you understand the responsibility that comes from this role. Not only does it demonstrate your capabilities as a magical person, it is a very active way to contribute to the positive exchanges as part of the W2MR Programme. When Easter Sunday comes muggle children will rush to their gardens to reap the joy of your hard work and you have to admit there is something pretty special about that.
It will take extensive planning to have everything done in time for Easter Sunday (24th April), but we know you are up to the task. Always best done in advance so you better get cracking! (Just not literally, eggs, even chocolate ones are fragile.)
You may have noticed some physiological changes. You may have already assessed through your own methods that they are not reversable at the current time. Don’t panic, that’s all part of the process, fully expected and perfectly normal. However, it may be in your best interest to avoid a rabbit’s natural predators such as foxes or large dogs that you would struggle to fend off for the foreseeable. Oh and ensure you are well stocked with leafy veg!
Enid Flufflesap
Shindig leader of the Department of Festive Frivolities
Ministry of Magic.’
“Normal?!” her voice is strains, unable to contain the rage and indignation filling her, “Perfectly normal?!”
The letter is thrown onto the kitchen table. Coffee is needed. Everything will feel more… in proportion then.
A few minutes later she is sat down, a little further forward on the seat than normal so as not to trap the infernal tail, coffee cup held in both hands by delicate fingers as she inhales deeply several times. She has never been one for deep breathing, but she’ll take anything that might make her clam right now.
“This is a joke,” she huffs to herself, “someone from my past having a good laugh.” Her head jerks to look out the window as if she expects to find giggling onlookers peeping through. “Very good,” she shouts, “very inspired!” then shakes her head. When she did become the sort of person who called out to people who weren’t there? The talking to herself she has accepted. So many years of living alone and socially exiled, well mostly, there were a few who were an exception and surprising ones at that. But talking to people who weren’t there? No that’s a level of insanity even she won’t allow, no matter the family propensity for it.
She takes a deep drink of the bitter dark liquid, lets it sit burning in her mouth and swallows. “If this is a clever ruse, it will wear off. I will simply outwait it and I’ll do so calm and collected. After all, I’ve experienced worse and I will not give them the satisfaction.”
Decision made.