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“So, are you gonna tell me why you’re mad or do I have to play 20 questions until I guess correctly?”, Shane asked as he closed the front door behind him.
Ilya was already halfway up the stairs, throwing his jacket off on the way up and unloosening his tie by the time he got to the landing. Shane sighed, picking up the jacket as he followed the other man up the stairs.
“I’m not angry!”, Ilya replied in a voice that wasn’t very convincing.
“You’ve been acting like an ass ever since we left the party. So if you’re not angry, then I guess you’re just being an asshole.”, Shane retorted finally losing his patience. He had been trying the whole way home to get Ilya to talk to him, unsuccessfully. And now he was stomping around the house like a two year-old. “So which is it?”
“I just want to get out of this stupid fucking suit and take a shower. I’m not angry. I’m just…tired.”, Ilya answered, as Shane walked into the bathroom behind him. Shane felt tempted to keep the argument going until he laid eyes on Ilya.
Ilya was sitting on the side of the bathtub, he had taken his tie off, and his white button down was completely unbuttoned. He looked defeated, exhausted. Shane suddenly came to the realization that he wasn’t angry, he was hurting. Shane knelt in front of him, using a finger to lift his head, so Ilya was looking him in the eyes.
“Hey, hey,” Ilya tried to avoid his gaze but Shane was persistent. “Talk to me.”
Ilya opened his mouth and closed it a couple times unsure of where to even start. How could he tell the love of his life that he was the reason Ilya was in such turmoil? That it had been nice to both be at the same party but infuriating that they could barely even come within 10 feet of each other. That every time he caught Shane‘s eyes, he would immediately look away. That it was hard to reconcile the man who loved him so deeply in private with the man who practically ignored his existence in public. And even though he knew it was what they had to do, and he tried so hard to not let it bother him, it did.
What good would it do to bring it all up again? It would only make Shane feel guilty for not being ready. Which would make Ilya feel guilty for feeling like he was pressuring Shane to do something he wasn’t ready to do. It really wasn’t worth it.
So instead of saying anything,Ilya put one hand on Shane’s cheek and buried the other in his soft hair and kissed him hard. He gently pulled until they were both standing, and he had pressed Shane against the wall. Talking wasn’t his specialty, but this, this he could do. He felt a tiny bit of resistance from Shane but before long he was completely melting into Ilya.
“Wait, wait!,” Shane managed to pull away long enough to speak, “Ilya please I want to know what’s wrong. I want to help.”
Ilya still had Shane, pressed against the wall but now he put his full weight against the other man, making sure that Shane could feel Ilya’s erection against his leg.
“I don’t want to talk. Please Shane,I need you, please. I want to feel every part of you.”, Ilya was whispering in Shane’s ear, his lips almost brushing against it, “I promise to talk later but right now I need to be inside you. Please.”
Ilya realized he had said please an embarrassing amount of times but it was true. He needed to fuck Shane, for Shane to look at him with love instead of indifference. To know that Ilya was still loved and wanted by the man in front of him. Deep down, he already knew, he always knew. But after tonight, he was craving the validation.
He felt Shane shiver under him and he knew he won even when Shane tried to play it coy. Ilya knew everything by this point, his little tells that said he was totally on board with whatever the curly hair man had planned.
So Ilya did something Shane claimed to hate but he knew he secretly found hot and hoisted Shane up until he had no choice but to wrap his legs around Ilya’s waist, carrying him to the bed in the next room. At this point, both men were fully into it.
Ilya dropped Shane on the bed with little fanfare. Immediately unbuttoning and stripping the man of his dress pants and underwear. Ilya admired the view for a moment before also shucking off the rest of his clothes and joining Shane on the bed, both fully naked at this point.
Ilya propped himself up over Shane on one arm, dipping down to attack his mouth. Every kiss was like a game to them, who could dominate who but fuck if it didn’t lead to some of the hottest fucking kisses Ilya had ever had.
Ilya trailed his hand down Shane’s body while still kissing him until he reached his cock, wrapping his long fingers around Shane’s rapidly hardening length. Shane moaned wantonly into the kiss and Ilya felt him getting hard in his hand. Still so fucking hot every time. He gave him a couple more strokes before pulling back to look at Shane’s face, already slack with pleasure. This is what made Ilya go crazy.
“Yes, fuck yes Shane. Only I get to see this. Only I get to touch your cock. Feel it getting hard, know how much I turn you on. Me, only me.”, Ilya said as he continued to stroke him, speeding up a little to hear the beautiful sound of Shane’s broken moans, to watch him clutch at the sheets. “You want me to make you cum just like this or you want me to fuck you?”
Ilya knew what he wanted and he prayed Shane wanted the same.
“Fuck me, wanna feel you.” Shane managed to choke out through his pleasure.
That was just what Ilya was dying to hear. Ilya took his time opening him up, pouring lube on his fingers, starting with one, then two, and when he thrust in the third finger, he could feel Shane’s impatience rising.
“I’m ready, Ilya! Please, fuck, oh my god, please just fucking fuck me already.”
Ilya loved when got needy for it, loved to be begged, to be wanted so badly. And he loved to give Shane exactly what he wanted. Ilya practically bent Shane in half as he lined up to his entrance, he slowly pushed in until he was completely sheathed inside of Shane. He stopped and leaned forward to kiss Shane who griped Ilya’s biceps for dear life, all the sign Ilya needed to start, pulling almost all the way out before thrusting back in, hard and fast.
“You are mine, Shane. No one else gets to take you apart like this. No one else will ever see you lose yourself. No one else will ever get to fuck you.” Ilya’s pace grew even more frantic as both men’s breathing became more labored, “Tell me who you belong to.”
Ilya held Shane’s chin, getting him to focus on Ilya’s face above him.
“I’m yours. Only yours.” Shane managed to gasp out as he threw his head back against the pillow, each thrust pushing him up towards the headboard. He put one hand flat against the headboard to steady himself and looked back to the man above him, using his other hand to grab Ilya’s face. “And you’re mine, all mine. No one, oh god, oh fuck, will ever get to have you like this again. Fuck!”
“I can’t wait until I can tell everyone about us, about you. Not this, this is just for us. But, oh fuck, when I can tell people that you are mine. When I can hold your hand and, holy shit, kiss your cheek and show you off. Everyone will be so jealous of me, the man who gets to go home every night to Shane fucking Hollander. Jesus Christ!”
Ilya was losing his rhythm a little as he was also close to the edge but he used it as motivation to thrust even faster and harder. He tried to kiss the man beneath him but at this point it was more rubbing his face against Shane’s face and breathing into each other’s mouths.
“Oh fuck Ilya…”
“Are you close?”
“Yes! Fuck, so close.”
“Come for me Sweetheart. Come for me.”
Ilya reached a hand down and with barely a stroke, Shane was coming hard between them. Feeling Shane clench around him was all Ilya needed to fall over the edge himself, crying out Shane’s name as he finished inside of him.
They both laid there a moment, catching their breath, Shane tangled their fingers together as they came back to planet. Eventually they gathered the strength to go wash up and Shane insisted they change the sheets cause even Ilya had to admit, they were pretty gross.
Once they were done getting ready for bed, they laid back down together, Ilya flat on his back with Shane draped over him, absently running his fingers through dark hair.
“Is that why you were upset today? After the party? Cause we can’t be together in public?” Shane finally worked up the courage to ask. Ilya was quiet for a long moment.
“Yes. I’ve never been in love with anyone before. Never cared enough to want to tell people. Never wanted to show someone off. You are a part of my heart that lives outside of me, to not be able to talk about you to anyone, it is very hard sometimes.”
“I’m so sorry, Ilya. I-“
“Please, don’t be sorry. Is why I never say anything. I don’t want you to feel bad. We do what we have to do. One day, our time will come. And there will not be a soul on this earth who will not know how much I love you. I can wait until then.”
Shane squeezed him a little tighter, lifting his head to kiss along Ilya’s jawline.
“What if you did tell someone though? Someone you trust and then you would at least have someone to talk to.”
“Ya, maybe I will.”
Ilya could tell Shane was getting sleepy so he left it at that. He probably wouldn’t tell anyone. He wasn’t even sure who he could. Troy would be safe, anyone on the team really but he didn’t really want to burden any of them with a secret this big.
No, he would wait even if it killed him a little. He knew Shane was only his and that he was worth the wait, every single time.