Chapter Text
You’re so nervous you think you might actually throw up. You’ve never been on a date with a guy before and you have no idea what possessed you to do this. You’ve never been a casual dating person. You’ve never been into the apps. Why on earth did you think you could meet some stranger and be okay?
Darcy had said he’s exactly your type—dark curly hair, blue eyes, dimples—when they set you up on this blind date with someone named Charlie from their work. But now that you’re here, you have no idea what you were thinking.
Your heart is beating out of your chest, so loudly you feel like every single person in this café must be able to hear it. You swallow anxiously over and over, your mouth dry as dust even as your entire body is covered with a light sheen of perspiration. You’re shaking with nerves and you can't stop wiping your sweaty palms on the smart jeans you're wearing. Your eyes alternate between darting around the café and staring down the door as if it might disappear if you don’t keep a close eye on it, your brain filled with an endless flurry of spiraling questions.
What if you don’t recognise him despite Darcy‘s description?
What if he’s already arrived and you’re both awkwardly waiting on opposite sides of the café for each other?
What if Darcy exaggerated and he’s actually nothing like your type at all?
Or even worse, what if he’s exactly your type and you make an absolute fool of yourself?
Just then, the door to the café opens and you worry you might actually be sick for real. The most beautiful man you’ve ever seen has just walked in, looking around like he’s trying to find someone. He matches Darcy’s description exactly. You both desperately hope he’s looking for you and pray to every god you can think of that he’s not because you know you will not survive this encounter if he even so much as—
Suddenly, his eyes meet yours and widen as he takes in your face. You're completely trapped in his gaze, yet you never want to escape. He gives you a little questioning smile and then starts to walk towards your table. Your pulse thunders in your ears, your heart threatening to escape your chest and jump out the nearest window.
“Hi, I’m Charlie," the gorgeous vision standing in front of you says when he reaches your table. “Are you Nick, by any chance?“
You suddenly can’t remember your own name, can’t form words, can’t do anything at all except stare transfixed as he looks at you curiously. You swallow, trying to regain the power of speech.
“Uh…um…yeah, hi,” you say dumbly after what feels like the longest, most awkward moment of your life, cursing yourself for sounding like such an inarticulate idiot in front of the man of your dreams.
He giggles and now you think you really might not make it through this encounter. “Oh, thank god,” he says in relief. “I was so nervous that I wouldn’t recognise you and I’d make a complete fool of myself.”
He’s nervous too. Somehow that makes you feel better.
“Can I join you?” he asks.
You get up so hastily to pull out his chair that you end up nearly knocking yours over. He giggles again as you steady it clumsily, putting his hand gently on your forearm for a moment, likely trying to tell you it’s okay, but succeeding only in lighting you on fire and setting off an explosion inside your body.
Nearly the moment he sits down, he suddenly jumps back up, pulling his jumper sleeves over his hands. You look at him in alarm. Is he leaving already? Are you that much of a disaster that you’ve scared him away after literally one minute?
“I should…um…go order something so I’m not just sitting here awkwardly,” he says, blushing a bit. “Sorry,” he adds, “I’m so nervous too. You’re, like, literally the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen and I kind of don’t know what to do with myself right now. God, sorry, now I’m rambling and making everything worse—”
“Me?” you squeak, your voice ascending to a register you didn’t even know you had. He thinks you’re beautiful? Add lightheadedness then to the tsunami threatening to overtake your body.
He giggles again. “Yeah, have you seen yourself?”
“Yes,” you say without thinking, cursing your stupid mouth for disconnecting itself from your brain. Not that your brain is doing any better at the moment. “I mean, no! I mean, like, yeah I’ve seen myself in a mirror before, like, I’ve—I mean, I’ve looked into a mirror so I know what I look like, but I didn’t mean—”
You can’t seem to stop your inane rambling, your face on fire with the worst case of verbal diarrhoea you’ve ever had in your life, but he places a hand on your arm again to put you out of your misery. Another explosion goes off in your body. Then he looks at you with kind eyes and a soft smile, which only makes things five million times worse.
“Would you rather get out of here and go on a walk or something?” he asks. “We’re both really nervous it seems, and I know I always feel better when I’m moving. I think I might have an easier time if I don’t have to look right at you. It’s like gazing directly into the sun and I can’t handle it.”
“Fuck yes, please,” you breathe out. “I can’t look at you either. I mean, not like that! You’re so beautiful it hurts, and I can’t put two words together! I didn’t mean that I can’t look at you because you’re not nice to look at or something like that,” you stammer, wishing the ground would completely swallow you whole.
He giggles again and squeezes your hand, which—how are you ever going to survive this encounter? “Nick, it’s okay. I knew what you meant. Darcy wasn’t kidding, though. You’re truly an absolutely adorable disaster.”
He thinks you’re adorable???
God, you hope it’s not possible to have a heart attack at age 23, but the way your heart is galloping away at his words makes you think you might actually be in danger. Dying in front of this absolute angel would be even more mortifying than your inability to speak like an intelligent human being.
What on earth is wrong with you? Why are you having such a ridiculously overblown reaction to something as simple as meeting another guy in a café?
“Come on,” he says, taking your hand and pulling you up before you can spiral any more. “Let’s go on a walk.”
Charlie is right, moving helps a lot.
You find a park nearby, risking a timid glance at him as you fall into step next to each other. He looks back, blushing and looking away with a little huff-laugh, but not before meeting your eyes and smiling at you kindly. Before you know it, you’re telling him your whole life story, including the fact that you’ve never dated a guy before. Charlie just gives you a sweet smile and asks in the most endearingly shy voice if it would be okay to hold your hand. You nod so eagerly your neck will probably be sore tomorrow, and he rewards you with another giggle, which is swiftly becoming your favourite sound. When his hand slips into yours, you know instantly you’ve found your home. You want to spend the rest of your life holding his hand and you don’t want to think about how bereft you’re going to feel when this date is over.
As you get to know each other, you can’t help but sneak glances at him, drinking him in with small, delicious sips. Beautiful doesn't even begin to do him justice. All you want to do is stare at him for hours—his lips, his hair, his gorgeous blue eyes, those adorable dimples. Every time he looks back and your eyes catch, you feel like you can’t breathe, your heart thudding your throat. But the way he holds your gaze each time is exhilarating, as if he’s having trouble looking away too, and it gives you hope that maybe he feels the same intense attraction.
You’re hyper-aware of his hand in yours, the heat of his body next to you, and the fact that you’re doing all of this with a boy for the first time ever. You’ve known you’re bisexual for a while now, but you haven’t been able to work up the courage to explore your attraction to guys. But now here you are, walking hand in hand with a boy, thanks to Darcy’s meddling.
To your absolute elation, you end up strolling around the park for hours, both of you completely unaware of anything but each other. He holds your hand the whole time, your entire body lit up with his touch. You learn that he plays the drums (which makes you stumble over your feet with how much you want to watch him play, earning yet another giggle), that he’s whip-smart and delightfully nerdy, and that being on the receiving end of his affectionate teasing is both addicting beyond belief and catastrophically dangerous if you want to keep your dignity. The urge to kiss him becomes overpowering, taking over your brain and making it hard to pay attention, even though you don’t want to miss a single word he says.
He tells you about his (terrifying) sister and you vow to do everything in your power to stay on her good side, should you ever get the privilege of meeting her. When he confides that he’s had some struggles with his mental health, his face is so vulnerable and unsure as he speaks to his shoes that all you want to do is bundle him up in a hug and never let him go. You must say something right in response because when his gorgeous eyes meet yours once more, the look on his face threatens to turn you into a puddle at his feet.
You talk about everything under the sun, sharing things so personal only Nellie knew about them before. But somehow, with Charlie, it feels easy. It scares and thrills you in equal measure how fast you’ve opened up, but somehow you know you’re safe with him. Somehow you know you don’t have to put on your rugby lad persona to protect your heart.
As the sun starts to dip in the sky, you wonder if it’s possible to fall in love in a single day. You wonder how you will ever go back to your quotidian existence now that you’ve met Charlie Spring. You wonder if you’ll be lucky enough to keep him in your life.
You’re certain he’s permanently altered your brain chemistry and rewritten every strand of DNA in your entire body.
When you reluctantly say goodbye, Charlie pushes up on his toes and, to your absolute delight, gives you the sweetest little kiss on the cheek. Shyly, you ask if you can give him a hug, holding him tight as you breathe in his shampoo and washing powder, your heart singing at having him so close, your body rejoicing over how good he feels in your arms.
You part, giddy with the promise of a second date and his number in your phone. Charlie gives you an adorable little wave before you stumble back to your car, drunk with how happy you are. As you pull on your seatbelt and start to drive home, there isn’t a single thought in your mind other than Charlie Spring. You’ve only known him for a handful of hours, but you already know two things: you’re never washing your cheek ever again and you would follow him absolutely anywhere.
When you get home, you pull out your phone to send Darcy the most gushing thank you text of your life, only to find a message waiting for you from Charlie.
i had the best time with you today
i can’t wait to see you again soon x
You scream into your fist, bursting with glee and the endless possibilities of what’s to come.